Spectre
by Precept
Summary: John Shepard is haunted. Mindoir and Akuze have left scars upon his mind. Now, XO of the SSV Normandy, Commander Shepard is thrown into an apocalyptic battle against Saren and his Geth. However, is the true threat Saren - or the personal demons within Shepard's heart? (COMPLETED)
1. Prologue I: Mindoir 2170

**Prologue - Dreams of Before**

_"Deep is the well of the past.  
__Should one not call it unfathomable?"  
- Thomas Mann._

**2170 - Mindoir Colony.**

The stars glittered high in the night sky, and John swept his arms as if to take them all in. "I'm going to go there, one day." he said to his companion, pointing out one of the thousands of stars he could see. "I'm going to go to Earth, and Mars, and the Citadel!"

"Lie down, John." replied the soft voice of his companion, "You always get so excited about the stars and-" She imitated his voice, "-'far off distant worlds'. Isn't life here good enough?"

John shook his head, "You know that's not what I mean." But he came back and reclined on the blanket they shared. It wasn't that John disliked Mindoir, it was his home after all, but the stars held such appeal. Mindoir was just a frontier world on the border of the space controlled by humanity's System Alliance, settled in the almost frantic gold rush for habitable worlds. "Look, one day, you just tell me where you want to go - and we will go."

"Right now?"

John was silent for a few moments. He smiled. "Maybe not right now. When I'm eighteen, maybe. That's, like, two years from now."

"Bring your head back down here and out of the stars. Come back to me." The night air ruffled her golden hair, and John swore it could have been a halo for a few moments. She was an angel, at least to him.

John just sighed. "Alright." The two of them lay side by side, just enjoying their moment under the stars. The day had been long and stressful, but now everything was perfect. A perfect night, a perfect girl. A farming colony like Mindoir was a lot of hard work, but she made it all worth it. He could just lay here forever. His reverie was broken by the noise of a few small starships streaking towards the colony.

John's companion traced her hand along his arm, "And whose ships are those, my captain?"

He sat up to get a better view of the ships, liking the sound of the word 'captain'. _One day..._ He couldn't really recognise their type. "I don't know. Supply ships, I guess. I heard that they were running late." In the dark, they were illuminated only by the light of Mindoir's moon and their own running lights. They seemed to be landing... all around the colony. It was almost like they were setting up a perimeter.

"Those aren't supply ships." replied John, and he suddenly felt very cold. "Come on, we should head back..."

They were halfway there when one of the landed ships exploded violently. The sound sent adrenaline roaring through John's veins. In the distance, he could hear faint gunshots.

"Come on!" shouted John, taking his companion's hand, "Let's go! We can't get caught outside! People will be grouping in the square!"

They ran. As they closed, John could see the few members of Mindoir's colonial defence force attempting to stem the tide of the invaders. They were scattered, unprepared. The chattering of assault rifles seemed to be all he could hear.

John knew his way around the colony, he'd lived there his entire life, and he sped towards the central square, passing defence force soldiers who were heading towards the sounds of battle, past civilians who were fleeing towards any form of shelter. They were all screaming.

"Where is the Alliance? Where are the Marines?!"  
"Hold them here! Hold them here!"  
"Take cover! Get the women and children away from here!"  
"It can't be the Batarians! They wouldn't risk a war with the Citadel!"

John had heard about the Batarians, he had read about them in history class. A race known mainly for their slavers and pirates and their isolationist policies. From what John could remember of his classes, the Batarians had disputed much of humanity's claim to many systems inside an area of space known as the Skyllian Verge. Habitable worlds were hard to find, and the Systems Alliance was directly competing with the Batarian species. In the end, the Council had refused to intervene on the Batarian's behalf and, in response, the Batarians had withdrawn themselves from Citadel space.

Since then they had never liked humans.

Something occurred to him suddenly. The square wasn't safe. There was only one thing the Batarians could want in this raid. "We need to get out of the square!" he turned to "They're herding us! They're slavers!"

"Don't say that..." whimpered his companion.

John squeezed her hand, "We'll make it. We'll get to my place and we'll lock ourselves in. There's guns there. Just don't look back."

The Batarians who had made it to the centre of the colony were pressing their attack, gunning down all who resisted and grabbing those who didn't. People were scattering every which way, and it was only making it easier for the aliens to subdue them. Everyone was screaming, yelling, crying. Every so often John could hear a harsh crack as the slavers stunned their opponents into submission. Others weren't so lucky and the Batarians broke bones to make their targets more compliant.

But John knew where his house was from here, and he knew that his family kept some small arms as a precaution. If he could just make it there, he'd figure out what to do. A fighting chance was better than none, that's what his dad always said. His father... would probably be out fighting the Batarians. Hell, his mother would be to, probably.

John's legs and arms were pumping with an energy borne from fear and adrenaline. A light flared, he felt heat on his back. His house was close now.

John thundered through the front door, almost tripping over a chair that had been cast aside in a rush. Maybe his father or mother had been sitting in it when the attack came. He scrabbled for the box his father always stored the weapons in. It'd already been opened, and his father's shotgun was missing. The only weapon in there was a pistol, but John had fired it before and he knew he could do so again. John took the pistol in his right hand, feeling the weapon unfold and extend to its full size, noting the status indicators on the gun switching from inactive to ready. John turned to tell his companion to hide-

She wasn't with him.

John didn't even have time to mourn as, at that moment, a figure lurched through the doorway. The figure seemed human enough, bipedal at least. However, the head wasn't. The too-narrow head bobbed on its long sinewy neck for a moment, and then looked over to thing that really drew John's attention was the fact that it had four jet black eyes, two distinct sets, one above the other. And all four eyes were focused directly on him. The figure - it had to be a Batarian - lowered its weapon and took a step forward, and John knew that the alien probably wanted to take him alive. To become a slave.

John squeezed the trigger. A grain of sand accelerated to an incredible velocity took the Batarian right in the chest, the alien glowed brightly for a moment but only the fact that he stumbled let John know he had been hit at all.

A kinetic barrier. John had heard about those from some Alliance marines who had been stopping over on patrol. He pulled the trigger in quick succession, keeping the Batarian unbalanced and hopefully depleting the alien's shields. After about half a dozen shots, the Batarian's chest and back erupted in a spray of gore and fragments of combat armor. The next two shots ensured that the alien went down, and stayed down.

John went down too, slumping to the ground. He felt tears. She was gone, and there was nowhere to go and nothing he could do. All he could do was wait and hope to take out as many Batarians as he could.

There was one problem, however. His pistol had overheated, and its automatic systems and heat sinks would need several moments to cool down before he could fire it again. Several moments is all a Batarian would need to find him and kill him, or capture him. The gunfire and sounds of battle were getting closer by the moment. Regardless, he'd make the next Batarian he saw pay for all of this.

It didn't take long. A figure entered John's house, assault rifle up and sweeping the room. They were clad in grey combat armor, wearing a helmet that obscured three quarters of their face. They looked once at the dead Batarian, and then to John.

They were human. John kept his weapon up. He hadn't seen any humans in the attacking force, but that didn't mean there weren't any.

"Whoa, son," replied the marine, "Relax. I'm Alliance military, Lieutenant Ernesto Zabaleta, SSV Einstein. We got here as fast as we could. We've got the bastards on the run. Are you alright?"

John watched him for a moment and finally lowered his pistol. "You're not a Batarian." was all he could think to say.

The marine smiled, "Not a Batarian? I'll take that as a compliment. Just sit tight, son, we'll have everything sorted out soon enough."

John just stood, and lurched towards the doorway. "Son..." repeated Zabaleta, his voice had a warning tone.

"You've got a ship, right?" said John, "We can go after them and... we can save- Oh God."

The colony of Mindoir no longer existed. The buildings lay broken and burning, obscuring the stars with thick black ash, bodies - human and batarian - lay broken in the streets. "Oh God." was all John could say, and he dropped to his knees, leaned fowards, and puked his guts out. Then a second time, and a third, until all he had were dry heaves. He tried to stand, but couldn't. His head spun and it felt like something had sucked all the blood out of his brain. It couldn't have happened.

Zabaleta placed one of his hands on John's shoulder, "I'm sorry."

John Shepard just remained on his knees, staring out at the broken remains of his entire life. He remained that way for a very long time.


	2. Prologue II: Akuze 2177

**CLASSIFIED TRANSCRIPT, ALLIANCE SQUADCOM  
AKUZE T-MAW FIELD TEST (2177)  
CO: Lieutenant Tedeski, Andrew.  
SQUADS: Alpha (1a-d), Beta(2a-d), Gamma (3a-d)  
HQ: SSV Verdun**

**RUNTIME: 00:23:45**

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Okay, ladies! Everyone out of the rovers! That signal's coming from somewhere in this complex. Alpha Squad, establish a perimeter!"

1a/CPL/TOOMBS "On it."

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Remember, marines, we're looking for some civilians here. Beta Squad go left, Gamma, go right."

1a/CPL/TOOMBS "Man, this fucking wind-"

3d/PVT/MONTOYA "You'd imagine the civilians would have the lights on."

1d/PVT/MORRIS "Contact was lost, remember? They probably don't have power."

**RUNTIME: 00:24:34**

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "The ground seems unstable in places."

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Intelligence says ground quakes like this are to be expected on Akuze. Nothing to worry about. Any sign of the survey team yet?"

3a/SGT/ANDERS "Negative, Lieutenant. Sensor's still clear. No indication yet."

1d/PVT/MORRIS "Hey, here's an oxymoron for you: military intelligence."

2c/PVT/SURESH "Yeah, sending us into the middle of a storm..."

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Cram it, Morris! You too, Suresh!"

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "Whoa! I swear I just saw something move back there."

3a/SGT/ANDERS "Where?"

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "In that crevasse. Is the ground stable?"

3c/PVT/ROURKE "I don't see any crevasse."

3d/PVT/MONTOYA "Well, we've been walking on it for this long."

**RUNTIME: 00:26:01**

3a/SGT/ANDERS "Lieutenant, my squad's just found what's been transmitting. Someone's set up a transmitter here."

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Odd. Any sign of who did it?"

3a/SGT/ANDERS "It looks Alliance. It looks pretty new."

1a/CPL/TOOMBS "Man, I don't like this. How the hell is that thing running? It can't be drawing power from this complex."

2d/PVT/ANCHEV "Probably has it's own power supply."

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Shut the fuck up Toombs, remember, I tell you what to like. Any sign of survivors?"

3a/SGT/ANDERS "No, sir."

1a/CPL/TOOMBS "Sir, with all respect, I think this is bullshit. This doesn't feel right.

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Well, good thing the Alliance isn't paying you to feel! Do your job, Toombs! Anders, Yin, any contacts?"

3a/SGT/ANDERS "No sir," 2a/SGT/YIN "Negative. No sign."

**RUNTIME: 00:26:59**

1a/CPL/TOOMBS "Did anyone else feel that?"

1b/PVT/CHANG "If I fall into some sort of sinkhole..."

1d/PVT/MORRIS "It's just a ground quake."

1a/CPL/TOOMBS "No, we had those back home. This is... This is different. Let's get this over with and get out."

2a/SGT/YIN "Keep the chatter off the command channel, jeez."

2b/CPL/JAMESON "Toombs, no offence man, but can you cut the creepy shit?"

CO/LT/TEDESKI "The storm's intensifying, I can't reach the Verdun. Looks like we're here for the night."

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "Did anyone else see that? Behind that building? Something moved."

3a/SGT/ANDERS "Check it, Shepard. Might be a civvie."

**RUNTIME: 00:27:06**

1a/CPL/TOOMBS "No, seriously. What the hell was that?"

**RUNTIME: 00:27:07**

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Alpha Squad, come in."

**RUNTIME: 00:27:17**

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Corporal Toombs, report!"

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "There's nothing here. Must have been a trick of the light."

3a/SGT/ANDERS "Right. Return to formation. At this rate we will have to check these buildings one by one."

**RUNTIME: 00:27:29**

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Toombs, report!"

**RUNTIME: 00:27:38**

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Beta Squad, double back and find out why Toombs isn't reporting in."

2a/SGT/YIN "On it, sir."

**RUNTIME: 00:28:57**

2a/SGT/YIN "Sir, no sign of Alpha Squad. The rovers are wrecked. Something ripped them apart, and it looks like an extreme form of acidic decay."

2b/CPL/JAMESON "Ain't never seen anything like this. Not even in the Contact War."

2c/PVT/SURESH "Hey, where'd Anchev go? He was right behind me."

CO/LT/TEDESKI "Hell! Okay-"

2a/SGT/YIN "What do you mean where did- Shit! Sir! We've got hostiles! They're huge! We-"

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "Something is definitely moving here!"

3a/SGT/ANDERS "My God, it's gotta be at least ten feet tall. What's it doing?"

3d/PVT/MONTOYA "It's just sitting there. Looking at us."

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "Try not to piss it off."

3a/SGT/ANDERS "Good idea, Shepard. Okay, Gamma. Let's back up, nice and slow."

3c/PVT/ROURKE "Oh my God, Sarge!"

3a/SGT/ANDERS (unintelligible screaming)

2b/CPL/JAMESON "Open fire! Fire!"

2c/PVT/SURESH "Bullets aren't doing shit! Where's the Sergeant?! Where's the Lieutenant?!"

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "Back! Back! Back! Go! Go! Go! Montoya, lay down some covering fire! Lieutenant?!"

**RUNTIME: 00:29:22**

3b/CPL/SHEPARD "Lieutenant?!"

3c/PVT/ROURKE "Just run for it, Shepard! Get the hell out!"

**RUNTIME: 00:29:23**

**RUNTIME: 00:29:24**

**RUNTIME: 00:29:25**

**RUNTIME: 00:29:26**


	3. Part I: Requiem, Ch I: Storm Warning

**Part I - Requiem**

_'Time present and time past  
__Are both perhaps present in time future,  
And time future contained in time past.' -T. S. Eliot._

**2183 - SSV Normandy**

**Chapter I - Storm Warning**

John Shepard awoke as he always did, from nightmares.

There was a certain kind of dream, the kind where you know you've done something terrible, something irrevocable.

In Shepard's dream, he'd failed to protect the best person he had ever known, he had failed his fellow marines, consigning everyone he knew to terrible fates like death and slavery.

The thing about dreams like that is, usually, one can wake up and realise it was all just a dream. That there had been no betrayal, no failure, nothing weighing on one's conscience. It had been exactly what it was, a dream.

Except, for Shepard, waking up was worse, because he remembered that it was all true. He had really done it, and there was no way the dream could capture the depth of pain he felt and harm he had wrought.

For a few brief moments, Shepard was sweating and disorientated, but eventually the haze of nightmares receded and the familiar environment of his quarters reestablished itself. He slipped out of bed and took a quick shower, letting the hot water wash away the last few memories of the night. Doctor Chakwas, the ship's chief medical officer, had given Shepard drugs to make him sleep better, but Shepard didn't see the point.

"The Arcturus Prime Relay is in range," came Joker's voice over the intercom and Shepard swore. "Initiating transmission sequence." He was supposed to be awake how many minutes ago?

They - the Alliance - had turned Shepard into a sort of hero. The only survivor of both Mindoir and Akuze, displaying incredible courage and fortitude they called it. He wondered just how much he resembled the propaganda as he glanced at his mirror. He was quite disheveled, with a good deal of stubble he now didn't have the time to shave off. The only survivor of two hellish nightmares.

_Did I deserve to survive? _It was a familiar question, but not one he had an answer to.

He was out of his quarters by the time of Joker's next status update. "We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination."

As Shepard strode through the corridors of the ship, heading for the bridge, he took the time to reflect on the absurdity of his situation. He was now the executive officer of the _SSV Normandy_, the most advanced warship in the Alliance fleet, and it almost seemed as if he had been picked only because, on two separate occasions, he had the audacity to not die when everyone else around him had.

"Relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector. All stations secure for transit."

Navigator Pressly snapped a salute to Shepard as he passed, but Shepard just gave a curt nod. "Pressly," Since Akuze, Shepard had bounced from position to position, always inevitably having a falling out with his superior officers. Shepard wondered if his current commanding officer, David Anderson, felt like he was taking a risk.

"The board is green. Approach run has begun. Hitting the Mass Relay in three..."

Shepard passed Doctor Chakwas and a young marine - Shepard recalled his name as Jenkins - on his way to the bridge. They were chatting excitedly about something, but Shepard didn't really have the desire nor inclination to care. He had to get to the bridge. Jenkins snapped an eager salute, Shepard returned it. Besides, Shepard was the XO, the Executive Officer, his job was to tell people things they didn't want to hear. He was the 'bad guy', the 'tough cop' to Captain Anderson's 'good cop'. He didn't particularly feel like talking anyway.

"...two..."

The corridor to the bridge was filled with about a dozen crewmen and women, typing away at computer terminals, making the _Normandy_ ready for faster than light travel. Shepard was only vaguely aware how it worked, something to do with so-called 'mass effect fields' that enabled a ship the size of the Normandy to travel incredible distances in only a few seconds. It was just one of the many things humanity had discovered after taking to the stars.

"...one."

As the Normandy was propelled by the Mass Relay at incomprehensible speeds, Shepard entered the bridge. Seated at the front, hands working away at controls, was the Normandy's pilot, Lieutenant Jeff Moreau or Joker, as he preferred to be called. Arrogant and borderline insubordinate but a damn good pilot. He could put the Normandy through some amazing maneuvers, he'd been her pilot since she was commissioned.

The man sitting next to Joker was his complete opposite. Kaidan Alenko was cautious and self-controlled and, according to Shepard, a much better soldier. Of course, he was also a biotic - a rare individual who was capable of altering mass effect fields to produce incredible results. Shepard had never seen a biotic in combat, but he'd heard incredibly stories.

However, it was the third figure, standing slightly behind the two humans that drew most of his attention. Roughly the same height as Shepard, the alien was much thinner and with a frame that was much more angular than Shepard's own - being able to be seen despite the alien's red and black combat armor. His face was also much different to Shepard's, being covered by a rigid mask of brown-gray cartilage and bone. Shepard had some difficulty distinguishing Turians from each other. Maybe that was why Turians painted their face with striping and tribal tattoos. This Turian's face was painted with a variety of white lines and shapes.

Nihlus Kryik turned to face Shepard as he strode onto the bridge.

Shepard knew the history between Nihlus' species and his own. The Turians had the dubious honor of being the first species that humanity had waged war upon. An Alliance fleet had, unknowingly, trespassed on territory belonging to the Turian Hierarchy. Their first encounter with each other quickly became a misunderstanding and violent overreaction led to several intense battles erupting between mankind and their first discovered alien species.

When the Turians began to mobilize their fleet - and, therefore, their capability to completely annihilate humanity - the Citadel Council intervened. Less than two months after it had begun, the First Contact War had ended. Luckily for humanity.

Joker was reporting the post-jump status, "Thrusters... check. Navigation... check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift... just under fifteen hundred K."

The Turian kept his black eyes on Shepard, reminding the human of a hawk scrutinizing its choice of prey. Officially they were allies now - the Normandy itself was a joint Human/Turian design - but Shepard did not know what Nihlus thought of their situation.

"Fifteen hundred is good," stated Nihlus, "Your captain will be pleased."

Nihlus was already striding from the bridge.

"I hate that guy," muttered Joker when the Turian was well out of range.

"Nihlus gave you a compliment..." replied Kaidan, "So, you hate him?"

Joker gave a derisive snort, "You remember to zip up your jumpsuit after you go to the bathroom? _That's_ good! I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead, _that's_ incredible!" His voice went quiet again, "Besides, he's a Spectre and I don't like having him on-board. Call me paranoid."

"You're paranoid. The Council helped fund this project, they have every right to keep an eye on their investment."

"Yeah, and that is the official story." replied Joker, his voice laced with sarcasm, "And only an _idiot_ believes the official story."

Nihlus made Shepard uneasy, and not just because he was a Turian whom Shepard knew nothing about. Spectres were the elite arm of the Council. Shepard knew about them from vids, books, news, anything he could get his hands on. Unlimited power in a single man - or, Turian in this case - made him uneasy. It didn't make sense for a Spectre to be on the Normandy. Shepard had been briefed, the Normandy was engaging in a shakedown cruise, testing its capabilities including an unprecedented stealth system. Shepard would expect a diplomat, some sort of official on board. Not a member of the Council's secret police.

"Nihlus could be doing more effective things with his time," said Shepard, "It doesn't make sense to me."

"Me either, Commander. Think there's something going on that the captain doesn't want us to know about?"

"You know as well as I do that information is on a need to know basis, Joker. If he is, I'm sure he has his reasons."

Anderson's voice chose that moment to crackle through the shipboard communications system and put an end to the conversation, "Joker! Status report!"

"Just cleared the Mass Relay, Captain." replied Joker, his voice suddenly all business. "Stealth systems engaged, everything looks solid."

"Good. Find a comm. buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to the Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."

Joker was already tapping away at a series of commands, "Aye, aye, Captain. Oh, and you better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way."

There was a slight pause from Anderson, and his voice was terse when it returned. "He's already here, Lieutenant. Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the communications room, ASAP."

Joker just looked back towards Shepard, "I assume you got that, Commander?"

Shepard sighed, "You piss him off, and I deal with the fallout. Thanks, Joker."

The pilot grinned a sloppy grin and shrugged, "He always sounds like that when he's talking to me. You get used to it." From the seat beside Joker, Kaidan scoffed.

Captain Anderson wasn't waiting for Shepard in the communications room. Nihlus, however, was. The battle armored Turian was staring at the display monitor, pictures flashing by his eyes every few seconds. It looked like a human colony. Nihlus turned to face Shepard.

"Ah, Commander Shepard." The Turian began in his strange warbling voice, "I was hoping you'd get here first. It will give us a chance to _talk_."

There was something about Nihlus' tone that put Shepard on edge. "What about?"

Nihlus swept a three taloned hand at the display, "I'm interested in this world we're going to. Eden Prime. I hear it's quite beautiful."

"That's what I've heard," replied Shepard, "I've never been. Private Jenkins is from there, you should ask him."

The Turian nodded, mandibles chattering in some alien expression. "And it's something of a symbol for your people, isn't it? Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it, _really_?"

Shepard wasn't an expert in Turian body language or culture, but he was fairly sure about what he had just heard. He was aware that the Turian's black eyes were, once again, scrutinizing him heavily. "I don't like threats, Nihlus."

"Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. The galaxy is a dangerous place. You, yourself, have had first hand experience with this."

Shepard remained impassive. He couldn't let Nihlus bait him into doing something stupid. "Mindoir was a long time ago."

Nihlus' face was as unreadable as Shepard hoped his was. The alien folded his arms, an expression of contempt that went beyond any racial boundary. "Indeed." was all the Turian said.

The arrival of Captain Anderson broke the uneasy silence, "If I may interrupt, I think it is time we told the commander what's really going on."

Nihlus nodded to Anderson, "This mission is far more than a simple shakedown run, Shepard."

"Then what is it?"

"Covert retrieval, Commander." explained Anderson, "Recently, a research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of beacon. It's Prothean." Shepard felt a slight ripple of shock at this. Everything - every single technological advance that had turned humanity in a space-faring entity - had been based on data and equipment found in Prothean ruins and facilities. The aliens were, by all accounts, extinct, but they had left their toys behind. It was a Prothean cache on Mars that had launched humanity into the stars in the first place. Anderson was continuing, "I don't need to remind you that the last time humanity made a discovery like this it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. However, Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities for something like this. Only the Citadel has that capacity."

"This goes beyond mere human interests, Commander." spoke Nihlus, "This discovery could affect every species in Citadel space."

Shepard went to say something.

"There's more, Commander." said Anderson, holding up a hand to interrupt. "Nihlus isn't just here to retrieve the beacon. Nihlus is also here to evaluate _you_."

"I noticed. That explains why I can't turn around without bumping into him half the time. Why?"

Nihlus and Anderson exchanged glances for a moment, but Anderson continued speaking. "Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy, Shepard. We need more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectres represent the power and authority of the Council. If they accept a human into their ranks, it will show how far the Alliance has come. They've been pushing this for years, John."

Nihlus, his arms still crossed, only said: "Not many could have survived what you went through on Akuze, or on Mindoir. You have a remarkable will to live, Shepard. Or, a remarkable amount of luck. Either way, it is a particularly useful talent."

"And, more importantly," said Shepard, "I become another symbol, don't I?"

Anderson deflected the comment. "Earth needs this, Shepard."

Nihlus was talking again, "Despite your reputation, Commander, I need to see your skills for myself. Eden Prime will be the first in a series of missions together."

"But you will be in command of the mission, Shepard." It seemed to be a comment aimed at reminding Nihlus as much as it was to assure Shepard, "Nihlus is only an observer. We need that beacon secured and brought back onboard the Normandy ASAP."

"Captain, we've got a problem." It took Shepard a moment to recognise the emotion in Joker's voice. It wasn't one he heard often from him genuine worry. And that put Shepard on edge.

Anderson seemed to have the same thought. "What's wrong, Joker?"

"It's a transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this."

"Bring it up on screen."

The display's peaceful images of Eden Prime abruptly broke down into static, and were replaced by - as Shepard guessed - Eden Prime as it was now.

A female marine raced towards the camera, shoving whoever was holding the camera to the ground with a curt, "Get down!" The camera was twisted this way and that until it came to rest on a man's face. "We are under attack!" The man was yelling over the chattering sounds of Alliance gunfire - and stranger weapons that Shepard didn't recognize. "We are taking heavy casualties! We need immediate evac! We can't- We need-" Something exploded near the man and he went down, taking his camera with him.

"That's all there is," came Joker's voice over the intercom, "Everything cuts out after that. There's no comm. traffic at all, nothing."

Anderson had noted something, however. "Reverse the message, hold at thirty eight point five." It took Shepard a few moments to take the image in. He noted that Nihlus' mandibles twitched in what he was fairly sure was the Turian approximation of surprise. The image was blurry, but the silver cyclopean head was unmistakable. Geth. Shepard had read about them, but he'd never seen one. Never really expected to.

Anderson was barking orders, "Joker! Status report!"

"Seventeen minutes out, Captain. There's no other Alliance ships in the area."

"Seventeen minutes out," said Shepard as he shook his head, "We are going to be too late."

Anderson eyed Shepard, "Take us in, Joker. Fast and quiet." His gaze returned to the image on the screen, "This mission just got a lot more complicated."

Nihlus had turned away from the viewscreen. He'd recovered quickly, or perhaps he just didn't care. "A small strike team can move quickly, evading any attention. It's our best chance to secure the beacon."

Anderson turned to Shepard. "Grab your gear and meet us in the cargo hold in fifteen minutes, Commander. Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up, you're going in."


	4. Part I: Requiem, Ch II: Shakedown

**Chapter II - Shakedown**

They were still just under ten minutes out. How long had it taken the _Einstein_ to reach Mindoir? How many people had died? The fact that Shepard was trapped on the _Normandy_ as it sped towards Eden Prime only frustrated him. He felt powerless. He had checked his weapons (shotgun, pistol, assault rifle, sniper rifle), checked his armor (standard Alliance issue with N7 badge), checked his shields (stable), his grenades, his omni-gel, his medi-gel. What was the point of all his equipment and training if he couldn't use it? What was the point if everyone was already dead?

Shepard knew his thinking wasn't helping the mission, and neither was his pacing. It was putting the others on edge. Kaidan seemed fine, despite Shepard's brooding, running through almost the exact same procedures Shepard himself had been. Kaidan, however, was also trained as a field medic - something Shepard hoped the biotic wouldn't have to put to use down on the planet. Nihlus was in the process of pulling apart his weapons and tinkering with their internal components, engrossed in his work. Corporal Jenkins on the other hand...

Jenkins was just a kid. Round faced with a youthful smile. Shepard was sure the young man looked up to him as some sort of rolemodel, but Shepard had no idea why. Jenkins' usual enthusiasm was gone, however, and the young man seemed positively subdued. Doctor Chakwas seemed to be counselling him, and with good reason.

Richard Jenkins was from Eden Prime.

Shepard wasn't sure why he decided to talk to Jenkins. Chakwas probably had it under control. Maybe it was because he knew Jenkins looked up to him, maybe even envied him. Maybe he didn't want Jenkins screwing up and getting the other members of the team killed. Maybe there was some sort of familiar bond between them. If this had been Mindoir... Regardless, Shepard made his way over to Jenkins.

"Are you alright, Corporal?"

There was silence for a few moments, and Shepard thought he may have made a mistake, that Jenkins wasn't going to talk to him. "I grew up on Eden Prime, sir." he replied at last, "It's not the kind of place Spectres visit. Well, I guess it is now, what with the Prothean beacon and all."

Shepard wondered briefly if people had said that about Mindoir. He let Jenkins speak, let him try to get some form of catharsis. Chakwas was just listening for the moment.

"I mean, I'd been hoping for some real action. Just... not on Eden Prime. I've got family there."

"We're almost there, Jenkins." said Shepard, to reassure himself as much as the younger man. "If we find any survivors, we'll bring them back."

Jenkins shook his head, "No, Commander, we won't. The Geth are ruthless. They're machines and they hate organics. They'll hunt down everyone and everything, it's what they're programmed to do."

"You've watched too many vids, Jenkins." It was Chakwas with her calm, soothing voice. It was one Shepard had heard countless times. "We don't know what the Geth are doing down there. No one's seen one in almost three hundred years."

"All we do know, Jenkins," said Shepard, following straight on from Chakwas, "is that we have a job to do. We need to find that beacon before the Geth do. I can understand if you don't want to join us. Lieutenant Alenko and I will go it alone." Maybe that would be for the best. If Jenkins couldn't handle it...

Jenkins shook his head, "No, Commander, I'm coming. It's my home, and I've got to defend it. It's just... a lot to take in."

Shepard nodded, "You'll do fine, Corporal. Just follow my lead and we'll get through this."

"Yeah," said Jenkins, "You survived Mindoir and Akuze, after all."

Shepard didn't say 'But no one else did.' He didn't tell Jenkins what its like to see everyone you know and love die around you. He didn't say 'Sometimes I wish I didn't.' He didn't mention the nightmares.

He just said: "I have to finalise a few things. I'll leave you and the Doc alone."

Shepard brooded. If Jenkins couldn't get his head in the game then the mission would be problematic at best. And, at worst, he might get everyone else killed. Shepard wondered if Kaidan could help, but Shepard knew Kaidan had already taken Jenkins through his equipment checks and other pre-combat diagnostics. Hell, Shepard wasn't even sure if Jenkins had been paying attention, he'd had his eyes focused completely on...

Nihlus. Well, it was worth a shot.

The Turian Spectre didn't look up as Shepard approached. He had his assault rifle and shotgun on a workbench, casings open to expose the intricate workings of each weapon. He poked at various parts with some sort of tool. Shepard had done enough battlefield modifications to guess that Nihlus was working on the heatsinks. "Commander Shepard, are you prepared?"

"I am," replied Shepard, "But my team isn't. I was wondering if you could help with that."

Nihlus still did not look up, his eyes focused intently on some arcane working of his weaponry. "They are your team, Shepard. I'm only here to observe." Shepard wasn't sure of Nihlus was expressing a fact or a personal slight.

"This is vital, Nihlus." Shepard replied, trying to soften his voice. "Look, Jenkins practically worships you. He's watched more Spectre spy vids than I've even heard of. He keeps telling everyone about you, when you wiped out an entire platoon by yourself. Could you just try to talk to him?"

The Turian's mandibles twitched again, black hawk eyes glancing to Jenkins and then back to Shepard. "If you think it will help the mission," was all he said as he snapped his rifle back together. Nihlus was halfway to Jenkins before Shepard even had a chance to thank him. Maybe Nihlus was on the level.

It was a few minutes later when Captain Anderson arrived.

"Nihlus," said Anderson as he passed the Spectre, "We're approaching the first drop site."

Nihlus nodded, moving towards the cargo bay doors.

"Nihlus, aren't you coming with us?" asked Jenkins excitedly, taking a few steps to follow the Spectre.

Nihlus just shook his head, "I move faster on my own." His words were almost completely drowned out by the rushing air as the bay doors opened. Then, without waiting for explanation or, indeed for the Normandy to get any lower, Nihlus leapt through the open doors. Jenkins watched his idol, and then fell into formation with Shepard and Kaidan.

Anderson explained further as Jenkins gawked at Nihlus' leap, eyes still flicking over to the bay doors. "Nihlus will scout out ahead, hopefully you can avoid the bulk of any Geth forces. He will relay information and recon data to you, Commander. Except in those circumstances, I want radio silence, understood?"

"What about survivors, Captain?" asked Shepard,

Anderson shook his head, his expression grim. "Helping survivors is a _secondary_ objective, Commander! The beacon is your top priority, understood?"

"Completely, sir." replied Shepard, "Get in, get the beacon, get out." As he spoke he could see the Normandy descending through the open doors. It was going to be a jump, but Shepard reckoned his team could handle it.

"The mission's yours now, Shepard. Good luck!"

Shepard was first out.


	5. Part I: Requiem, Ch III: Ashes to Ashes

**Chapter III - Ashes to Ashes...**

If Shepard could describe Eden Prime in one world, he would pick Hell. The sky shone with the blood red malevolence of a now setting sun, even though the clinical part of Shepard's mind insisted it was just the glow from the many numerous fires he could spot both nearby and in the distance. It was like the whole world was burning. The fires caused the air to be thick with smoke, and Shepard had his team switch to enclosed helmets. But the worst part was the stench ("Smells like smoke and death," as Kaidan had put it).

No one could have survived this. Shepard instantly regretted bringing Jenkins along. Eden Prime was a dead world.

The stench got worse when they found the bodies. Something had scorched them to the bone, and Jenkins was unable to take his eyes off them. Did Jenkins know these people? Shepard didn't know. Jenkins hadn't made any sound, given any indication.

Nihlus' voice came over Shepard's helmet comms as if he was trying to reinforce the scene. "I've got some burnt out buildings here, Shepard. A _lot_ of bodies. I'm going to check it out. I'll catch up with you at the dig site."

Right. They couldn't afford to waste time. "Jenkins, we need to keep moving." said Shepard, trying to sound reassuring. "There is nothing we can do for these people."

The marines on Mindoir had told him the exact same thing.

Jenkins nodded. "It's just..." His voice trailed off. But when Shepard moved on, he followed.

The trio came to a path between a scattering of rocks and boulders. The path curved up a slight slope and then out of view behind the rocks. Shepard's intuition insisted that this was a perfect place for an ambush. Shepard trusted his intuition.

"Jenkins, take point." ordered Shepard, "Move up to the next outcropping. Stay in cover."

If Jenkins was in a slump, Shepard's voice broke him out of it. The young marine advanced on the double, sweeping his weapon left and right.

Something wasn't right. That same feeling that niggled at the back of his head on Akuze was screaming at him now.

He heard the familiar whine of airborne drone engines, and Shepard roared: "Jenkins! _DOWN!_"

A trio of vaguely disc shaped drones came over the rocks like a swarm of angry hornets. The first set of bursts caught Jenkins right in the chest. His shields flared brightly, and then there was a wet slap as some part of Jenkins came loose. He didn't even scream. Jenkins went down.

Shepard's instincts took over. His assault rifle came up and he squeezed off a quick burst. One drone vanished under a shredding volley of hypersonic projectiles, but the other two adjusted their programming for the new combatant and Shepard's next burst missed its mark. Kaidan swung out from cover, training his pistol on one of the attackers. A volley of shots from Kaidan dropped the drone's shields, allowing Shepard to put it down with a burst of assault rifle fire.

The third drone spun on its axis, and ran for it.

"It's a scout, Alenko!" barked Shepard, "Do not let it get away!"

As Shepard watched, he understood that Kaidan had no intention of doing any such thing. The Lieutenant stood, as if focusing intently on the escaping drone. He brought up a hand and swept it down abruptly. Shepard was almost sure Kaidan had accomplished exactly nothing, until an invisible force struck the drone with the force of a sledgehammer and brought the scout machine back down to earth - hard.

Shepard was already moving towards Jenkins' prone form. Kaidan had been closer, was checking for a pulse - _please, God, let there be a pulse_ - but Kaidan just reached down and shut Jenkins' eyes. Shepard was too late. Again.

"Ripped right through his shields," stated Kaidan, quietly. "He never had a chance."

"We have to go, Lieutenant."

"But, his body-"

"Has to wait." said Shepard firmly, "Jenkins will get a burial, but we can't do it until the mission is complete. We have to go, now."

Kaidan just nodded, but he didn't seem happy with it. "You're right. Need to find that beacon before the Geth do."

As the pair advanced up the path, Shepard found he couldn't concentrate. He'd failed again. The path led into a area of thick woodland, but the trees held no new surprises. Evidently, the flying drones hadn't been able to alert the Geth. Jenkins had been so young. Had he even been on a combat drop before? _Did I get him killed on his first mission?_

_Stow it, Shepard. You've got a job to do. Do it._

The path opened up into a clearing, and it was the gunfire that brought Shepard back. A human in white and pink combat armor was retreating, running for her life, to be more accurate. A pair of those hovering drones were right behind her. Shepard saw her trip, fall, but he wasn't about to let someone else die on his watch. He raised his rifle, sighted in, but the newcomer twisted and blew the drones out of the sky.

There was more, however, and Shepard had his first look at a Geth.

It was obviously synthetic, constructed to resemble some humanoid species but with a body that was far too angular. It was clad in what looked to be grey armor, but Shepard assumed that was part of its actual form. Like the one he had seen on the _Normandy_, it had a head with a singular glowing eye. It held a strange weapon while a second synthetic effortlessly hauled a civilian over a strange device. The second synthetic seemed to examine the man for a moment, and then activated the device.

The man was screaming, and it was a scream that took Shepard right back to Mindoir. It wasn't a war cry or a scream of rage, it was a sound born of complete and absolute terror, and ultimately it was a final vocalisation as the device activated and impaled the man on a tall spike. The two Geth turned away from their device, just as the white-clad marine opened fire.

Her assault rifle found its mark, but the Geth were shielded and armored. They ducked for cover behind a rocky outcropping.

"Come on, Alenko!" barked Shepard, "Let's move!"

Shepard raced out into the open, flanked one of the Geth and squeezed the trigger. The Geth twisted, inhumanly fast, but Shepard's bullets were faster and they peppered the synthetic's shields and then began blasting chunks of the Geth apart. Shepard didn't know what he had expected when he began shooting the Geth, sparks and the scream of tortured metal perhaps, but what he got was the spraying of a thick white liquid.

Maybe the Geth wasn't a machine. Regardless of what it was or wasn't, Shepard kept firing, hammering away at the Geth until the light in its singular eye went dark. At this range, with much of its exoskeletal armor blasted apart, Shepard swore it had what almost looked like some form of musculature beneath it.

Kaidan and the other marine had put down the second Geth. The marine walked over and put a bullet into the synthetic's head.

There was only silence for a few moments before the marine turned to address Shepard. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. Are you in charge, sir?"

Shepard nodded, "Commander John Shepard," He indicated Kaidan, "Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, SSV _Normandy_. We got here as fast as he could." _Just like Mindoir, indeed._ "What's the situation?"

Ashley kicked one of the Geth. It didn't move. "We were patrolling the perimeter of the camp when the attack hit. We tried to get off a distress call, but they cut off our communications. I've been fighting for my life ever since."

"We recieved it," replied Shepard, "Where's the rest of your squad?" He already knew the answer.

"We tried to get back to the beacon, I guess that's what the Geth came for. It was an ambush. I don't think anyone else..." She shook her head, "They have to have come for the beacon. The dig site is close."

"Fall in, Williams." Shepard ordered.

Ashley hadn't lied. The dig site was just over a nearby ridge. Unfortunately, the Geth were already there. A trio of synthetics were standing guard. And there was a lot of open ground, Shepard knew that at least one of his men would get cut down by the Geth as they approached. Shepard collapsed his assault rifle and brought his sniper rifle up, indicating for Ashley to do the same. "Take the one on the left," he whispered, "I'll handle the one on the right."

Ashley nodded, and aimed. Shepard slowed his breathing, trying to get a clear shot. The head was a small target but a sniper round hitting the Geth's center of mass would hopefully be enough. He pulled the trigger.

A basketball sized chunk of the Geth disintegrated under the booming shot. It stumbled abruptly, whatever programming that passed for intelligence attempting to keep itself upright, to continue the fight. A moment later, another Geth's arm was severed from the rest of its body and a biotic slam sent it to the ground, crumpled into scrap. The third Geth exchanged fire with Kaidan, ducking for the Prothean ruins. Shepard went for his assault rifle, but Ashley fired again - at the same Geth. This shot took the synthetic in the groin, and blasted its legs away from the rest of its body.

The Geth that Ashley had shot was twitching spasmodically, and Shepard wasn't sure if it was trying to communicate or if the sounds he heard were damaged components trying to maintain their strange semblance of life. The damaged Geth turned its baleful eye to Shepard and reached for him with its one remaining arm.

Shepard shot it in the head. It slumped down and did not move.

"This is the dig site," said Ashley, exasperated. Despite the ancient ruins there did not seem to be anything in the vicinity. "The beacon was right here! It must've been moved!"

"By who?" asked Kaidan, "Our side, or the Geth?"

"Can't say. There's a research camp just ahead, up this ramp. The people there will know."

"If there's anyone left." said Shepard, and instantly regretted it. He had to give his squad hope. "It's our best chance," he continued, "Form up."

As they approached the location of the research camp, Nihlus' voice came over the comm. "Change of plans, Shepard. There's a small spaceport up ahead. I want to check it out. I'll wait for you there."

"Acknowledged, Nihlus."

"Was that a Turian?" It was Ashley, and she sounded almost angry.

"Yes, Chief. He's a Turian and a Spectre."

"Great," drawled Ashley. "The camp's just up ahead."

The Geth had gotten to the camp first, but Shepard wasn't surprised. They had even left more of those devices with impaled bodies upon them. Shepard wasn't sure why the Geth would resort to such a tactic. Did they understand psychological warfare? Was it a form of torture? The camp was broken and burning, marines and civilians lay dead, scattered across the ground.

"They got hit hard," said Kaidan.

"Looks like it," replied Shepard.

"Whoa, hold on!" warned Ashley, "Something's happening to those... things!" She pointed her gun in the direction of the strange Geth impalers.

Something was indeed happening. The spikes were descending, bringing the impaled body with it. Eventually they were lying on their backs, bent over their respective devices.

They twitched.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Kaidan, "They're still alive!"

And they were. The three people pulled themselves off their machines and took several jerky steps towards Shepard's squad, almost as if they weren't used to controlling their own forms.

"What did the Geth do to them?" whispered Ashley. They were closer now, and Shepard could begin making out details. They were like mummified corpses, they shouldn't have been unable to support their own weight, let alone walk.

They wouldn't have been able to without the electric blue circuitry and glowing cybernetic implants that Shepard could make out. The figures were completely dessicated, more like husks of people than anything else. As each stumbled step brought them closer, the cybernetics that twisted through their forms began to glow and spark.

Shepard didn't wait. He squeezed the trigger. The husks were completely unarmored and Kaidan, Ashley and Shepard cut them down. When they collapsed, riddled with bullet holes, the malevolent glow in their cybernetics went dark.

"What were those?" Kaidan was the first to speak, "Did the Geth... reanimate them?"

"I don't know," replied Shepard, "I've never seen anything like that."

Ashley was investigating the research buildings. She was walking into each and every structure, ruined or not. Shepard wasn't sure what she thought she would find. Eventually, however, Shepard heard her call out: "Commander! I've found something!"

"What is it, Chief?"

"This structure." Ashley said, indicating the door with a thumb. "The door's encrypted and locked from the inside."

"So, someone's in there and I can't see why a Geth would lock themselves in a building. Lieutenant Alenko, you're the electronics expert. Break it down."

"Sir?"

"Figuratively speaking, Lieutenant."

"Oh, on it, sir."

One of Kaidan's gloves lit up in an orange glow, various holographic displays coming to life before Shepard's eyes. An omni-tool. Kaidan's fingers tapped away for almost a full minute. The door slid open to Kaidan nodding, "We're in."

Shepard went in first. The building was dark, no illumination. The only indication that anyone was in there was the voice that suddenly cried out.

"The Alliance!" A middle-aged woman gasped. "Thank the Maker!"

Behind her, a man visibly twitched, drawing back further into the darkness, almost pressing himself up against the wall. "Hurry! Close the door! Before they come back!"

The door slid close automatically. "Commander Shepard, SSV _Normandy_. Are you survivors?"

"Doctor Warren," replied the woman, "I was in charge of the excavation. We hid in here when the attack came."

"We're looking for a Prothean beacon," said Shepard, "Do you know where it is?"

Warren nodded, "Yes. It wasn't here when we were attacked, we had already moved it to the spaceport. Manuel and I stayed behind with a few marines to pack up the camp."

"What happened to the marines?" asked Ashley.

Warren looked at Ashley, but if she recognised her she gave no sign. "The marines held the attackers off, giving us time to hide. They gave their lives to save ours..."

"No one is saved!" hissed the man, the one Warren had called Manuel. "The age of humanity is ended! Soon, only ruins and corpses will remain!"

Shepard eyed the man, unsure of how to proceed. He was obviously agitated, suffering from something. "Is he alright?"

"Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin. Manuel has a brilliant mind... he's always been a bit unstable."

"Is it madness to see the future?" Manuel interjected, "To see the destruction rushing towards us?! To understand that there is no escape, no hope? No! I am not mad. I am the only sane one left."

Shepard did his best to ignore Manuel's ramblings. "There's something else, Doctor. Did you notice a Turian in the area?"

"I saw him!" The man, Manuel, almost leapt forward towards Shepard. His eyes were frantic. "The prophet! Leader of the enemy! He was here, before the attack!"

"That's impossible," replied Kaidan quickly, "Nihlus was on the Normandy before the attack. He got here when we did. He couldn't have been here."

"Could have been another Turian." offered Shepard.

Ashley snorted, "I doubt it. Not on this colony, not this far out at least."

"We need to keep moving, Doctor." said Shepard, "There's a Council Spectre waiting for us at the spaceport. Stay here, and lock the door. I don't think there's any Geth around, but it doesn't hurt to be sure."

"Thank you, Commander. And good luck, to you and your Spectre."

Manuel hissed from behind her, "Luck won't save you."

Shepard did his best to ignore the addled man. Everyone was on edge. The last thing he needed was to start buying into the ramblings of a deluded madman. "Chief, lead us to the spaceport."


	6. Part I: Requiem, Ch IV: Dust to Dust

**Chapter IV - ...Dust to Dust.**

The squad was halfway to the spaceport when they heard the gunshot.

The sound echoed through the dead air of Eden Prime. It could not have been too far away by Shepard's reckoning. The spaceport itself, perhaps? Had Nihlus run into trouble?

Then, as the squad rounded a bend in the mountainside track that led to the spaceport, Shepard encountered something that caused him to pause.

Shepard thought it looked like a squid, albeit a nightmare version of a squid constructed in the dreams of a madman. Its tentacles (claws?) kept the construct (starship?) attached to the ground. Every few seconds an arc of red lightning would leap from point to point on it. It was oddly beautiful in its own dark way. Even as far off in the distance as it was - whatever it was - it was triggering some ancient primordial nerve. Its dark majesty made Shepard feel utterly insignificant. He imagined it would probably make the entirety of humanity feel insignificant.

And something was screaming in Shepard's head that it was something that human eyes were never, ever meant to see.

Kaidan was the first to speak. "What the hell is that?"

"It must be a ship! Look at the size of it!" exclaimed Ashley, her voice tinged in disbelief. Shepard could understand why. A ship of that monolithic size wouldn't normally be able to make planetfall. This one evidently had. Was it some sort of Geth dreadnaught? Awe and fear ran circles in his mind. Anything further Ashley would say was drowned out by a sound that cut right through Shepard's mind, he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth but it was a knife directly into his brain. By the time he opened them, the titanic vessel was already in the air - and accelerating rapidly. Faster than a ship that size had any right to move.

When they had recovered, Shepard began giving orders. "Come on, let's keep moving. That's the spaceport up ahead."

And so were the Geth. A pair of grey-armored Geth were seemingly, once again, overseeing another batch of those things that Shepard could only refer to as husks. Shepard cut down the husks while Ashley and Kaidan put down the two Geth.

The sun was almost completely set by now, and it threw the spaceport into an array of bizarre shadows and shapes. Not dark enough for suit lights yet, but they had to finish this soon, Shepard was sure that, despite their flashlight heads, the Geth would have the advantage in night combat.

A body lay sprawled ahead of them, in front of an assortment of cargo containers. Even though the body was lying face down, Shepard recognised it by its familiar armor.

"Commander!" Kaidan knelt down to confirm who it was, but Shepard already knew. "...it's Nihlus. Looks like one shot to the back of the head." Kaidan sounded so clinical to Shepard.

"Your Turian friend?" That was Ashley. She sounded so... detached. Was that how she approached all death, or was it because Nihlus was a Turian?

"Yeah. He was on our ship." was all Shepard could think to say. He'd barely known Nihlus. What Shepard did know was that this would not look good. A Turian winding up dead under mysterious circumstances while assisting a human (on a human colony, no less) would only heighten the tensions between the two species. It was all Shepard's fault. _If he hadn't... if I hadn't..._

Shepard's thoughts were cut off as a cargo container crashed to the ground. Three weapons came up.

"Wait!" came a fearful voice, a man's voice. A human voice. "Wait! Don't s- don't shoot! I'm one of you! I'm human!"

"Weapons hold," ordered Shepard, "Come out where I can see you. What're you doing here?"

The man poked his head out of what seemed to be a makeshift fort. "Hiding. From those creatures. Uh, my name's Powell. I'm a dockworker. I saw what happened to your friend, the Turian. The other one shot him."

"Other one? Another Turian?" Shepard clarified. Where would another Turian have come from?

"The other one was here first, like he was waiting for your friend. Um, your friend called him Saren." That name was familiar to Shepard, but he didn't have time to dwell on it. "I think they knew each other," continued Powell, "Your friend seemed to relax... and then Saren killed him. Shot him right in the head. Guess I'm just lucky that he didn't see me here."

Shepard was inclined to believe him. A fight between Nihlus and this Powell would have been incredibly one sided. Whoever had taken out Nihlus - in one shot, no less - had to be really good at what they did. And Manuel had rambled about a Turian as well. Shepard doubted that Manuel and Powell were running a conspiracy. However, regardless of Turians, Shepard had a job to do.

"We're looking for a Prothean beacon, apparently it was brought through here recently. Do you know where it is?"

Powell nodded earnestly, "Yeah, it's over on the other platform. That guy, Saren, he was headed there, hopped right on a cargo train right after he killed your friend. God, that fucking beacon... it's been nothing but bad news. First that damn mothership shows up, then the attack. Those creatures killed everyone. _Everyone_. If I wasn't behind these crates, I'd be dead too!"

"Didn't anyone else hide with you?"

"They... they never had a chance." Powell was speaking fast, as if he was ashamed. "I was... already behind the crates when the attack hit."

"Wait a minute here." Something didn't quite add up in Shepard's mind. "You were hiding... before the attack?"

Powell was biting his lip now, not looking Shepard - or any of the others - in the eye. "I... sometimes need a nap to make it through my shift. My supervisor can't find me here."

"You survived because you're lazy?!" snarled Ashley, and Shepard was worried she'd go for her gun.

Shepard held up a hand, "Easy, Chief." He nodded at Powell, "Just consider it good luck, Powell."

"Some luck," Powell snorted, "Maybe, I guess. Look, I just don't want to think about it. I... I can't stay here." Powell muttered, slipping back down into his hiding place. "I need to get away from all this."

"This Saren's got a head start on us," said Shepard, as he indicated the train platform Powell had pointed to. "Let's go!"

"If we find this Saren," said Shepard as they climbed aboard a cargo train. It was a large, flat platform that moved down a set track. "I want him taken alive."

Ashley and Kaidan replied in the affirmative. Kaidan spent a few seconds with the train controls and his omni-tool.

The train began to move.

"Why would someone ally themselves with the Geth?" asked Kaidan,

"Who knows, Lieutenant," replied Ashley, "We can worry about it later. Let's just enjoy the view for the moment."

It was a few minutes before Kaidan's alarmed voice interrupted the almost-serene train ride. "Commander! I've got a radiological alarm!"

"The Geth must be setting demolition charges!" yelled Shepard. As if to confirm his assessment, a pair of grey-armored Geth popped their flashlight heads over a nearby wall and began peppering the squad with weapons fire. Shots that seemed more like beams than bullets streamed from the Geth position. The train was just pulling up to the platform, and its flat surface provided no cover from their fire.

"We're exposed!" barked Shepard, feeling a few shots impact his shields, already diving from the train for the nearest possible point of cover. "Get into cover! Alenko, I need you to find those charges!"

"What about the Geth?" yelled Kaidan in reply over the weapons fire.

"Leave them to me and Williams! With me, Chief, covering fire! Go, Kaidan, go!"

Shepard rose from his cover, assault rifle spraying wildly at the Geth. By now the two grey Geth had been joined by two more, and one larger construct clad in white. Shepard assumed that it was some sort of officer.

Something loud boomed in his ear. Ashley picked off one of the smaller Geth with her sniper rifle, blasting its torso into so much scrap.

Shepard dove from cover, spraying a burst at the grey armored Geth. As soon as the shields on one of them fell, Ashley had fired again. This shot, however, did not have the same level of precision and ruined the side of the Geth's abdomen. Some sort of diagnostic software in the synthetic's brain equivalent surmised the damage as non-lethal, and the Geth remained in the fight.

"One charge disabled, Commander!"

At least Kaidan wasn't meeting with any resistance. Shepard and Ashley had drawn them away. Four versus two were not good odds, however, not when your opponents were machines. Ashley focused on the already half-disemboweled Geth and her next shot succeeded in separating the synthetic into two pieces.

"That's two down, Shepard!"

That left two more charges. _How long do we have until they detonate anyway?_

Shepard pushed those thoughts from his mind, and riddled one of the grey Geth with holes, three shells finding their mark in the synthetic's head and blowing its synthetic brains all over the floor. The headless body's limbs jerked like a macabre puppet, before the construct collapsed, as if its strings had suddenly been cut.

"Third charge done! Looking for the fourth!"

Shepard spotted the white Geth indicating another area of the platform. The fourth and final grey armored Geth turned and took off. Shepard only needed one guess to tell where it was going. "Williams," snarled Shepard, "It's going for Alenko! Take it out!"

Ashley was up and running instantly. "Lieutenant!" Shepard barked, "You've got one Geth incoming!"

"There's still one charge I need to find, Commander!"

All Shepard could do was hope. Mentally, he ticked off the Geth attackers. Three grey armored Geth lay on the plating of the platform, in pieces or otherwise. Ashley was dealing with the fourth.

_Wait, where the hell is the white one?_

Shepard's question was answered as the white-armored Geth took a step out of cover towards Shepard. Even despite the emotionless singular eye of the Geth, Shepard believed it was radiating menace. This thing wanted to hurt him. An odd thought, a simple machine shouldn't want anything. Still, white armor or not, menace or not, Shepard was going to break it.

Shepard raked his rifle back and forth over the white Geth. At this range, he could not miss. The synthetic's shields dropped, and a couple of rounds blasted chunks of armor from its chest. However, that was all Shepard's much abused assault rifle was capable of. The heat sinks failed abruptly, and before Shepard could reach for his shotgun, the Geth was upon him.

At this range it didn't even try to shoot, it just pistoned its rifle into Shepard's chest, and then swung it at him again, cracking the visor on Shepard's helmet, driving him back against the wall. Dazed from the one-two blow, Shepard was unable to prevent what happened next.

The white-armored Geth drew its fist back and, with the sort of precision only a machine could muster, hammered it right into Shepard's chest.

Kinetic barrier shields didn't stop close range melee attacks. Shepard knew this, but it was something he was always painfully reminded of. Shepard felt and heard the ceramic breastplate on his armor crack. The Geth seemed completely impassive and simply drew its fist back for another strike.

This time, something else cracked in Shepard's chest. A dagger of pain erupted there, driving all the air from his lungs. Warning lights flashed into view on his helmet's HUD. The Geth drew its fist back for a third and final blow.

"Shepard!" Even through the haze of pain, Shepard recognised that voice. Ashley.

The Geth twisted its body with the quickness of a snake, dropping Shepard to the ground to focus on the new, more immediate threat. Its weapon came up.

Ashley was faster. Her shotgun boomed, the Geth staggered back, thick white fluid splashing onto the ground, shards of metal and other less identifiable materials going in all directions. Ashley fired again and the Geth stumbled. Again. And again, its ruined chassis leaking fluids and mechanical components sparking and whining in protest. Until its CPU was destroyed, however, the Geth would continue to fight. It only took Ashley a second, but she only had to shift her aim slightly.

The Geth's head disintegrated.

Everything went quiet.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" asked Ashley, offering her arm to Shepard.

Shepard suppressed a groan as he climbed to his feet. Breathing was difficult, but not impossible. "I'm fine, Williams. I think my armor took the worst of it. I'll live. Let's just find the beacon." There was a slight pause, "Thanks. I owe you one."

He couldn't read Ashley's face beneath her helmet. "Don't mention it, Commander."

The beacon lay down a ramp, in an area that Shepard guessed was for storing cargo containers. It was a small device, with a tall antenna. It glowed with a faint, green glow that Shepard found oddly reassuring. There couldn't be any mistaking it, this was the Prothean beacon. Kaidan met them down there, having disabled the final demolition charge.

There were no Geth securing it. They had obviously hoped to detonate the entire spaceport, taking the beacon with it,

Shepard raised a hand to the outside of his helmet, as Ashley and Kaidan moved to examine the artifact. "_Normandy_, the beacon is secure. Requesting immediate pickup."

"Aye, aye, Commander." replied Joker, "Incoming to the spaceport, ETA 5 minutes."

"Huh." That was Kaidan, "I guess I thought it'd be bigger, or something. Don't get too close, Williams."

"I'm just having a look, Alenko." For a split second, and if Shepard had've blinked he would have missed it, the aura around the beacon flared.

Shepard moved fast, wrapped his arms around Ashley, and hauled her to the side. She was thrown, combat armor and all, to land in a heap near Kaidan. However, Shepard's rescue attempt had placed him where she had been standing. No matter how he struggled, he was unable to break free. The beacon pulsed once more, green light bursting in front of Shepard like a newly created sun.

Something grabbed Shepard, and hauled him into the air. He felt his spinal cord contort, wrenching his head back, and something exploded behind his eyes, making the Geth's fist seem like nothing in comparison.

Ashley and Kaidan were yelling, but Shepard couldn't hear them over the ancient and terrible screaming in his mind.


	7. Part II: Transcend, Ch I: Wake

**Part II - Transcend**

_"It was strange, she thought... that it should require a holocaust to make her own life worth living."  
- Pat Frank_

**Chapter I - Wake**

"Doctor Chakwas! I think he's waking up!" It was a familiar voice to Shepard, but one he couldn't quite place.

Doctor Chakwas walked over from her terminal to stand beside Shepard's medical bed. It was strange, Shepard found himself realising that she was probably very  
beautiful at one point. Her English accent seemed overpowering. It had to be a remnant of whatever knocked him out. "You had us worried there, Shepard. How are you  
feeling?"

Shepard forced his body to a sitting position. Every muscle told him that it was a bad idea. "Feels like I lost a fight with a Krogan. How long was I out?"

"About fifteen hours." said Chakwas, checking Shepard's vitals. "Something happened down there with the beacon."

"It's my fault," Ashley blurted out. Something clicked in Shepard's mind - it had been Ashley who had reported his awakening to Chakwas. "I must have got too close to  
it and triggered something. You threw me out of the way."

"You should have been more careful, you could have been killed," replied Shepard. Ashley reacted like she had been slapped.

"Commander," reprimanded Chakwas, "No one could have known it was booby-trapped."

Shepard sighed. His head still ached slightly. There was something in the depths of his mind that was trying to get his attention. He definitely wasn't thinking clearly.

"You're right, Doctor. I'm sorry, Chief. You couldn't have known what would happened."

Ashley smiled a little before continuing, "The beacon exploded, knocked you out. We thought you'd been killed at first. Alenko and I had to carry you to the Normandy."

"Thanks. I guess I owe you and Alenko one."

A familiar rich voice resounded from the doorway. "Doctor Chakwas, how is the patient?" Captain Anderson.

Chakwas turned aside, "As stubborn as ever." The doctor smiled, "His ribs will heal in time, and so will the bruises and light abrasions and lacerations. There was a  
few strange abnormalities in his brain waves and rapid eye movement while he was unconscious, but I believe he will be fine."

Anderson came to stand by the bed. "How are you feeling, Shepard?"

Shepard said the first thing that came to mind. "Jenkins is dead, Captain."

Chakwas and Anderson exchanged glances. "I know, Commander," replied the Captain.

"And Nihlus."

Chakwas knew what was coming. "It wasn't your fault, Shepard."

"Wasn't it?" Shepard asked, "Nihlus was only here because he thought _I'd_ make a good Spectre. Jenkins was only down there because _I_ made a mistake and didn't have him  
remain on the ship!"

"Nihlus was a Spectre, Shepard." Anderson said firmly, "He knew more than anyone else what he was getting into. Corporal Jenkins was a soldier, and soldiers die. We  
wish it didn't happen, but it does."

Shepard had heard that speech of countless times, and not just from Anderson. Hell, he was sure he'd given it at least once. For some reason it never made it any  
easier. It barely even absolved him of the guilt he felt. "Did you at least retrieve his body?" Shepard looked left and right, but saw no sign.

Chakwas focused her eyes on Anderson. "Captain, I-"

Anderson looked as if he was a cat trying to bring up a chicken bone, edging his way towards and around a difficult subject. "Commander... Lieutenant Alenko led us to  
Corporal Jenkins' body. The Geth had impaled it on some sort of machine. When we approached-"

Everything boiled over inside Shepard. "Fuck!" he snarled, hammering a fist down on the medical bed. He took a deep breath, instantly regretting his loss of composure,  
running a hand through his short black hair. Eventually, Shepard just reclined back onto the bed.

The Captain turned to Doctor Chakwas and Ashley, "Doctor, Chief Williams, may I have a moment alone with the Commander?"

"Of course, Captain."

"I'll be in the mess hall if you need me,"

Anderson was silent as Chakwas and Ashley left. The medbay door hissed open and closed. There was a moment of uneasy silence before Shepard said: "I'm guessing Chief  
Williams is his replacement then?"

Anderson nodded, "We could use a soldier like her. She was reassigned to the Normandy shortly after she came on board."

"She certainly proved herself down there."

"Lieutenant Alenko said the same thing. That's why I added her to the crew."

Another moment of uneasy silence before Shepard decided he should bite the bullet. "Captain, we both know that Chief Williams isn't the reason you needed to speak to  
me in private. What's the situation?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Shepard." Anderson admitted, "It looks bad. Nihlus is dead, the Prothean beacon has been destroyed and the Geth are invading. The  
Council's going to want answers."

"Answers? Answers to what?"

Anderson sighed, "I read Lieutenant Alenko's report. It's Saren. The other Turian. Saren's a Spectre, Shepard, one of the best. If he killed Nihlus, and if he is  
working with the Geth, it means he has gone rogue. A rogue Spectre is trouble, especially Saren. Not only is he dangerous, he hates humans."

"That could explain why he hit Eden Prime..." A pause, "It's just... the timing of this attack and the discovery of the beacon..."

"I know what you mean." Anderson nodded in agreement, "Saren has allied himself with the Geth. I don't know how, I don't know why. But I would bet it had something to  
do with that beacon. Shepard, you were there just before the beacon self-destructed. Did you see anything? Any clue that might tell us what Saren was after?"

Shepard hesitated. He could half recall something, that feeling in the back of his mind, but it was more like a distant memory. A memory of a memory, if such a thing  
was possible. "Just before I blacked out, I saw something, like a vision."

"A vision? A vision of what?" Anderson was all business, ready to hear Shepard out.

"I... I don't know." Whenever Shepard shifted his mind back to the beacon, everything just slipped through his fingers. It was a flash of thoughts, memories, feelings.  
Yet he knew there was something there, locked away in the back of his mind. It was frustrating. "I saw synthetics - Geth, maybe - slaughtering people. Butchering them."

If Anderson did not believe Shepard he gave no sign. "Shepard, we need to report this to the Council."

Shepard, on the other hand, was incredulous. "Are we going to tell them I had a bad dream? Captain, that's not exactly new."

"That's not the point, Shepard." Anderson shook his head decisively, "We don't know what kind of information was stored in that beacon. Ancient Prothean knowledge, a  
weapon of some kind, maybe. Whatever it was, Saren has that information. And I know Saren." Anderson's fire and determination wasn't unusual, but there was something  
about this that was. There was one hell of a grudge here. "I know his reputation, and I know his politics. He despises humans. This attack was nothing less than a  
declaration of war. He has the information from the beacon and an army of Geth had his command. He will not stop until he has wiped humanity from the face of the  
galaxy!"

Still, it was not Shepard's place to comment on the personal life of his commanding officer. "Then we have to find some way to stop him."

Anderson shook his head, almost reluctantly. "It's not that simple. Saren's a Spectre. He can go anywhere, do anything. We need the Council on our side-"

"-they could strip him of his Spectre status."

"Exactly, Shepard. It may not be much, but it's definitely a start. I'm going to contact Ambassador Udina and see if he can get us an audience with the Council. We are  
currently en-route to the Citadel, but it will take a few hours. I need a full report by then, Commander."

"Don't worry, sir. You'll have it."

"You've never let me down before, Commander. I'll let you rest, you've earned it." Anderson turned on his heel, strode to the medbay door. He paused there by the door,  
for a moment. "You were a hero today, Shepard. Don't forget it."

_Heroes don't get people killed_ was Shepard's silent response.

Still, Shepard couldn't just wait here in the medical bay. The Captain had wanted a report, and Shepard had every intention of doing just that.

Shepard liked his quarters.

It wasn't that they felt like his. He did not have much. A few medals, pieces of artwork he liked, a few trinkets he had picked up on shore leave. Other than that, it  
mostly resembled the rather spartan quarters - little more than a bed and a desk - he had originally been given.

No, Shepard enjoyed the shower. It was a real shower, with real running water.

The running water let Shepard block out all outside noise, it allowed him to think. Anderson had been right, as usual. Nihlus knew the risks, and he would not have  
anticipated a betrayal from Saren. It didn't mean Shepard had to like it, however. He pushed the thoughts from his mind and let the hot water wash away the events of  
Eden Prime.

He stepped out, looked into the mirror and decided that, if he was going to meet with the council and humanity's ambassador, he should probably look more like the war  
hero the Alliance depicted him as. A few minutes later and he had shaved off his stubble.

Half an hour later, and he had finished his report and submitted it to Captain Anderson.

Five minutes after that, he was heading to the bridge.

Kaidan and Ashley had seemed to have the same idea. Ashley was shaking her head. "I've seen friends die before, Alenko. Comes with being a marine. But to see my whole  
unit wiped out... and all the civilians..."

"Yeah," replied Kaidan, "You never get used to that. At least Saren didn't manage to wipe out the colony."

Shepard took that moment to speak. "Alenko, Williams. Heading to the bridge?"

"Aye, sir. We should be approaching the Citadel shortly. It's always quite a sight."

Shepard nodded as they walked, "Thoughts on the mission?"

Alenko spoke first, "It's been a hell of a shakedown cruise. Our first mission ends with one Spectre killing another. The Citadel Council's not gonna be happy about  
that. Probably use it to lever more concessions out of the Alliance."

"As usual," interjected Ashley, "Still, things would have been a lot worse if you hadn't shown up, sir. But, if Jenkins was still-"

Shepard cut in, "You're a good soldier, Williams. You belong on the Normandy. Jenkins was a fine soldier, a valued part of this crew, and he will be missed."

Kaidan nodded, "We did everything right. It was just bad luck."

Shepard found himself remembering Nihlus' words, about Shepard's luck at surviving Mindoir and Akuze. _Is my luck bought with the blood of people like Jenkins?_

"Good timing," said Joker from the pilot's seat, it broke Shepard's reverie. Kaidan had settled into the seat beside Joker, and Ashley had taken to looking out the  
bridge viewport. "I was just about to bring us in to the Citadel. See that taxpayer money at work."

The thing about Alliance ships, Shepard knew, was that they were instrument driven. They did not need visual references. The Turian co-designers of the _Normandy_ had  
argued against viewports and windows on the Normandy, and they had argued hardest against the bridge viewport. To them, such things were a distinct tactical  
vulnerability in the _Normandy's_ design. However, humanity was attached to its romantic ideals of space travel, and the viewports had stayed.

_And, besides, space still is awe-inspiring. Widow is proof of that._

The Citadel, hub of galactic commerce and all civilisation, was located in the Serpent Nebula. Although Shepard could not recall whether Widow was a newborn star, or  
the remnant of a supernova, the constantly shifting and rolling purple/gray clouds were a sight to behold. Soon enough, the Citadel itself came into view. It was  
monolithic, impossibly huge. It was a ring, with five long arm-like protrusions, vaguely resembling a cylinder with parts cut out of it.

None of the current races had constructed it. The Asari had simply found it. Like everything else, all evidence pointed it to being constructed by the Protheans.

It was impressive, not just from the size or age, but the fact that over thirteen million sentients lived on it. It was the center of everything. Galactic trade,  
galactic politics, galactic culture. Shepard could make out the smaller vessels, hovering like gnats around the Citadel. Merchant vessels, private liners, warships of  
the Citadel fleet. Hundreds of them.

A starship came gliding through the nebula mists. While the Citadel was still larger, the gargantuan vessel dwarfed any other ship around it. Despite its size, it  
seemed graceful and sleek. It reminded Shepard of some colossal sea creature with a huge glowing maw, he was vaguely reminded of a whale shark from Earth.

"The _Destiny_ _Ascension_," commented Kaidan, "Flagship of the Citadel fleet."

Joker snorted, "Size isn't everything."

"Why so touchy, Joker?" Ashley was grinning broadly, teasing the pilot.

Joker seemed defensive when he replied, "I'm just saying you need firepower too!"

"Yeah, and look at that monster! Its main gun could rip through the barriers on any ship in the Alliance fleet!"

"Good thing its on our side then," that was Kaidan.

"Well, firepower's great and all, but you need speed too. And the _Normandy_ is much faster and more agile than the _Ascension_."

Ashley sighed, "You're terrible, Joker."

"I aim to please, Chief Williams."

And then the _Destiny Ascension _and _Normandy_ passed each other. The fact that the _Ascension_ could have ran into the _Normandy_ and probably not have noticed only worried  
Shepard slightly. The _Normandy_ continued past the arm-like 'wards' of the Citadel and towards the central 'Presidium' ring. The entire station was rotating serenely.

"Citadel Control," hailed Joker as he set the Normandy to match the Citadel's rotation, "This is SSV _Normandy_. Requesting permission to land."

"Stand by for clearance, _Normandy_." There was a slight pause. "Clearance granted. You may begin your approach."


	8. Part II: Transcend, Ch II: Interference

**Chapter II - Interference**

Shepard, Anderson, Ashley and Kaidan walked into the middle of a heated diplomatic 'discussion'.

"This is an _outrage_!" roared Ambassador Donnel Udina. Despite his age, the ambassdor was a rather fierce looking man. "The Council would step in if the Geth attacked a _Turian_ colony!" They had heard the beginnings of the discussion from down the hall. It had seemed to start with the intensity it currently possessed. And it showed no signs of ending soon.

The three representatives of the Citadel Council stood, their holographic projections awash in red-orange light. The Salarian councilor was first to speak, "The Turians don't establish colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems, Ambassador." The alien was tall, lanky even. He reminded Shepard of a frog crossed with one of those 'grey aliens'.

"Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went into the Traverse," the Asari councilor added, her voice calm and measured. The Asari were blue-skinned, but almost completely human-like. Like all members of her species, however, the Asari councilor had a strange ethereal beauty about her. Of course, they were all mono-gendered and Shepard was never quite sure if 'she' was the right word to use. Still, they leaned towards the female side of androgynous.

"What about Saren?" Udina asked, although his tone barely changed. "You can't just ignore a rogue Spectre!" He thrust a finger at the Council, "I _demand_ action!"

The Turian councilor spoke up then. Shepard liked to imagine that he had been silent until now, but he hadn't really been paying attention to the shouting war. "You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador." His voice was cold. It was a voice that could remind anyone of their station.

The Asari glanced to her Turian companion, "Citadel Security is investigating your charges against Saren. We will discuss the C-Sec findings at the hearing, and _not_ before." With those words, the holograms flickered and vanished.

Udina turned to the doorway, and he didn't seem happy with what he saw. "I see you only brought half your crew with you, Captain Anderson." Sarcasm dripped from his voice. Shepard wondered if this was his usual tone, of if the meeting with the Council had just agitated him.

"Just the ground crew from Eden Prime. In case you had any questions."

"I have the mission reports," Udina replied haughtily as he waved the group inside. "I assume they are accurate?"

"They are," Anderson said, "Sounds like you convinced the Citadel to give us an audience."

"I did." Udina said, sitting down behind his desk. "And they are _not_ happy about it, Captain." Shepard wasn't sure if he was meaning the meeting or the accusation. Perhaps it was both. "Saren is their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason."

"It's not an accusation, Ambassador." said Shepard, "It's a fact. He attacked Eden Prime!"

"Settle down, Commander." replied Udina, his voice was almost as cold as the Turian councilor's. "You've already done more than enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the Spectres! The mission on Eden Prime was to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead and the beacon was destroyed!"

"Neither of those things were my fault!"

"The reports state that Nihlus' death was Saren's fault." Anderson was backing Shepard up. "As for the beacon, we're not sure as to the exact cause."

"Then we had better hope the C-Sec investigations turn up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise the Council will use this to keep you out of the Spectres, Shepard."

"It's not like I wanted it in the first place," muttered Shepard. Honor or not, humanity or not, the whole business had soured him on the idea.

Udina didn't seem to hear him. "Come with me, Captain. I want to go over a few things before the hearing. Shepard, you and the others can meet us in the Tower in one hour. The Council chambers are located on the top level. I'll make sure you have the appropriate clearance."

The three of them walked to the balcony of Udina's office. The Presidium - with its parks, trees, lakes, buildings and throngs of people - stretched out beneath them. To either side, the giant ring continued. Every so often, an airborne taxi would flash past.

"That's why I hate politicians," Ashley said after a few minutes.

"You can't really blame him," replied Kaidan, "He's got a difficult job."

"Yeah, well, he could try not to be such an ass about it."

"We can stand here for an hour and discuss the finer points of galactic politics," Shepard said, "Or we can take a look around. I've never been to the Citadel. Kaidan, you have - are there any places you could recommend?"

Kaidan answered almost immediately. "There's Flux and Chora's Den, down in the Wards. But I think we should stick to the embassy lounge, for now. It's just down the hall."

"Lead the way, Lieutenant."

Kaidan did just that, out the door and down the stairs. As they walked, Shepard decided he would take in the sights. In one room, Shepard spied a pair of Elcor - large aliens that reminded him of Terran elephants. In another, a diminutive Volus clad in full pressure suit. With its slight snout, Shepard was reminded of some sort of mole.

Those two races did not have Council seats. And neither did Humanity.

They had almost gotten to the lounge when a green insectoid, about the size of Shepard himself, scurried past them. It was like some huge praying mantis, or aphid. And it wasn't anything Shepard had seen before.

"What was _that_?" gasped Ashley,

"That's a Keeper," replied Kaidan, completely unaffected. "They keep the Citadel functioning. No one can communicate with them. Good thing it didn't bump into one of you."

"What, why?" asked Shepard,

"Because obstructing the Keepers is against the law, which also includes talking to them," remarked Kaidan.

"They're still weird looking," muttered Ashley.

The embassy lounge seemed like a nice enough place. A dark-skinned human tended the bar and many of the patrons were human. Including, Shepard noted, a few men and women from the Normandy. A few Asari lingered in the vicinity. Other than that, there were not many aliens in attendance.

Just as they had sat down and placed their order, a pair of Turians came striding through the lounge. One was dressed in what Shepard assumed was an off-duty uniform, the other wore black combat armor with blue trim. The blue trim matched his blue facial markings. Shepard had seen other Turians in similar armor, and he guessed the Turian was a member of Citadel Security. The armored one seemed much younger than his companion. However, it was what the younger Turian said that drew Shepard's attention.

"Saren's hiding something!" said the younger one, loud enough for Shepard to hear quite clearly, "Give me more time! Stall them!"

"Stall the Council?" The elder Turian asked incredulously. He stopped, glared at the younger Turian. "Don't be ridiculous, Garrus. Your investigation is over." With the matter apparently settled, he turned on his heel and continued on his way.

"But I haven't even had enough time!" The one named Garrus called after him, "Everything on Saren is either classified or restricted!"

"And you should have thought of that before you decided to investigate a Spectre," replied the other one, "This is _over_, Garrus." He repeated, driving the point home. "Don't provoke me to make this official."

Garrus sighed and blew air through his mandibles. He spotted Shepard.

"Commander John Shepard?" he asked, "Garrus Vakarian. I am- _was_ the C-Sec Agent in charge of the investigation into Saren."

"I heard. Was that your superior?"

Garrus nodded, "Executor Pallin. He doesn't understand the situation."

Shepard decided not to comment. "Did you find anything? You sound like you really want to bring him down."

"No," Garrus admitted, crossing his arms. "He's a Spectre. Everything he touches is classified. I couldn't find anything, but I know he is up to something. As you humans say, I feel it in my gut."

"Want to join us for a drink?" Kaidan asked, "I'm sure they serve Turian drinks here." Ashley didn't seem happy about it, but said nothing.

Garrus shook his head, "I can't. I have to continue my rounds. Good luck, Shepard. Maybe they'll listen to you."

"Huh," said Ashley as he left, "He doesn't like the Council. Who would have thought a Turian and I would have something in common..."

Shepard let Ashley's remark hang in the air for a few moments before he decided to comment. "You don't like aliens, do you, Chief?"

"Not really, sir. Is it a problem?"

Shepard wasn't sure. Frankly, he could see it as being justified. Ashley wasn't the only one. The Normandy's navigation officer, Pressly, had similar concerns. Mainly, they seemed to stem from the First Contact War. And, again, Shepard could see why. The Turians had gone to war with Humanity because the Alliance had violated one of the laws of Citadel space regarding Mass Relays. Laws that the Alliance had no way of knowing.

There was a lot of distrust there. A lot of resentment.

Shepard idly wondered if Saren's apparent dislike of humans had come from that war as well.

"Ashley," said Kaidan "If there's one thing I've figured out by now, it's that aliens are saints and jerks. Just like us."

"Yeah, well, the Turians as a whole seem like a bunch of jerks."

Their drinks came and they drank in relative silence. Shepard wasn't sure if he should discipline Ashley or not. He didn't like it, human or not he gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. Sure, he had dealt with his share of insults and snide insinuations from Turians, but he'd met some pretty similar Humans as well. The Terra Firma party, for one. Ashley at least seemed to hold her tongue when aliens were around.

Of course, Shepard realised again when they reached the Citadel Tower, Ashley could say plenty of other things that seemed strange.

The Council Chambers within the Citadel Tower were an elegant place, filled with cherry trees, fountains and beautiful staircases. Diplomats from all races were in attendance. It illustrated, more than any other part of the Citadel, just how much of a hub it was.

"See those staircases?" Ashley said, "They would make excellent firing positions, y'know, if you had to defend this place."

"Whatever could possess you to say that?" asked Kaidan.

"I'm just saying!" replied Ashley. "I've got an eye for these things."

They climbed the stairs, and it brought them to the Council itself.

Ambassador Udina, flanked by Anderson, stood on a podium that stretched out over an abyss. On the other side, opposite and above Udina, stood the three Council members. A large hologram of a Turian hovered to Shepard's left, between Udina and the Council. It had to be Saren. The discussion had already started, and Shepard wondered who was responsible for that.

"The Geth attack is a matter of some concern," the Asari councilor was saying, "But there is nothing to indicate that Saren was involved in any way."

"The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason," the Turian councilor elaborated.

Udina was as passionate as always. "An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!"

The Salarian councilor spoke up, "We've read the Eden Prime reports, ambassador. The testimony of one traumatized dock worker is hardly compelling proof."

"I resent these accusations!" Saren interrupted, "Nihlus was a fellow Spectre, and a friend."

Anderson's eyes fixed on Saren, "That just let you catch him off guard!"

Saren's face seemed to take on an amused expression at that, "Ah, Captain Anderson!" he exclaimed with amusement, but it quickly turned to cold anger. "You _always_ seem to be involved whenever humanity makes false charges against _me_." The hologram's eyes turned to Shepard, "And this must be your protege! Commander Shepard... the one who let the beacon get destroyed."

"Eden Prime was a classified mission!" replied Shepard, his voice magnified by the systems within the podium, "The only way you could have known about the beacon is if  
you were there!"

Saren shook his head, "With Nihlus gone, and as his friend, his files were passed on to me. I read the Eden Prime report. I was... unimpressed. But what can you expect from a _Human_?"

"You son of a bitch," muttered Shepard. And he had no way to prove Saren was lying, especially if all Spectre files were classified like Garrus had said.

"Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard!" Saren snarled, "You're not ready to join the Council. And _you're_ not ready to join the Spectres."

Saren's words slapped Shepard in the face. He'd thought them himself, but hearing Saren say it... regardless of whether it was a psychological ploy or the truth...

Udina whirled towards the Council, "He has _no right_ to say that! That's _not_ his decision!" For the first time, Udina's voice felt reassuring.

The Asari councilor raised a hand, to try and quell the verbal conflict brewing between the two sides.. "Shepard's admission into the Spectres is _not_ the purpose of this meeting."

Everyone began yelling all at once.

"This meeting has _no_ purpose!" growled Saren, "The humans are wasting your time, Council members, and mine!"

"Stop hiding behind the Council!" exclaimed Shepard.

"Shepard!" barked Udina.

"_Enough_!" roared the Turian councilor, "If neither Shepard or Saren can control themselves this hearing will be discontinued. This is your only - and final - warning."

"There's still one outstanding issue," said Anderson quickly, giving neither Shepard nor Saren the time to continue. "Commander Shepard's vision. It may have been triggered by the beacon."

Saren laughed, a harsh sound filled with mocking. "Are we allowing dreams into evidence now?" He spread his arms, "How can I possibly defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"

"I agree." nodded the Turian councilor, "Our judgments must be made based on facts and evidence. Not wild imaginings and reckless speculation."

The Asari spoke, "Any final comments, Commander Shepard?"

Shepard only shook his head. "You've already made your decision. There's no point."

There was a momentary discussion between the three councilors. Their equipment had been turned off, giving Shepard and the others no way to hear what they were saying.

"The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the Geth," said the Asari at last, "Ambassador, your petition to have Saren disbarred from the Spectres is _denied_. This meeting is adjourned."

"I'm glad to see justice was served." said Saren, before his hologram faded away. To Shepard, it sounded as if he was gloating.


	9. Part II: Transcend, Ch III: Questions

**Chapter III - Questions**

"It was a mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain." Udina was saying for what sounded like the hundredth time. "You and Saren have too much history! It made the Council question our motives."

Anderson, sitting opposite from Udina, retorted. "I _know_ Saren! He's working with the Geth for one reason! To exterminate the human race!" Again, it felt like Anderson was repeating himself.

Udina had led the group back to his office following the disastrous meeting with the Council. Once again, the discussion within the office had been running in circles.

"Every colony we have it at risk!" pronounced Anderson, hammering a finger onto Udina's desk for emphasis. "Every world we control is in danger!" Thump. "Even Earth isn't safe!" Thump.

The two had sat there, facing each other, yelling at each other. Neither of them had given an inch. Shepard, Kaidan and Ashley just stood to the side.

"He's a Spectre, Captain." sighed Udina, "You know as well as I do that he's virtually untouchable. Without proof, your words are meaningless to the Council. We need to find some way to expose him."

Shepard decided to finally speak up. "I might have something."

Anderson, however, was preparing for another round with Udina. "This is _Saren_ we are talking about-"

"I said I might have something!" barked Shepard in his military voice. Udina and Anderson turned, faced him. Shepard decided to continue. "We encountered a C-Sec agent named Garrus Vakarian on our way to the Citadel Tower. He was arguing with the Executor, asking for more time to finish his report, sounded like he was pretty close to finding something on Saren. Any idea where we could find him, Ambassador?"

Udina nodded, "I suppose it is better than nothing. I have a contact in C-Sec who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin."

Anderson shook his head vehemently, "Oh, no. Forget it! They suspended Harkin last month. Drinking on the job. I won't waste my time with that loser."

"Good," replied Udina, "Because you won't have to. I don't want the Council using your past history with Saren as an excuse to ignore anything we uncover. Shepard will handle this."

"You can't just cut the Captain out of this!" Shepard exclaimed, he was about to continue when Anderson intervened.

"No," said Anderson quietly, "He's right. I need to step aside. We can't give the Council that weapon to use." He sighed, "Shepard, Harkin's probably getting drunk in Chora's Den. It's a... dingy little club, in the lower section of the Wards. He may be a drunk, but it couldn't hurt to talk to him."

Shepard was almost to the door when Anderson spoke up again "Just... be careful, Commander. I wouldn't call him reliable."

If the Presidium was a paradise of tranquil parks and lakes, the Wards were an urban sprawl. Aliens from all the Council races mingled freely. There were stalls hawking all sorts of trinkets, and at least one that Shepard noted was selling weapons and body armor. Much of the Wards looked out into the Serpent Nebula, and the _Destiny Ascension_ was leisurely gliding through the ship-filled clouds, like a shark through a school of fish.

Still, it seemed to be that it was the vendors and merchants that drew the majority of the attention in the Wards. Shepard also noted that those vendors probably did very good business. Many of the men and women of various species had some sort of weapon. Some concealed, others not so much.

The Wards seemed like a rough place.

"Chora's Den is this way," said Kaidan. The three of them pushed through the crowd.

Shepard could hear Chora's Den well before he could see it. The music was rather loud, and the glowing signage was just as obnoxious.

There were two hulking aliens by the door - Krogan. Shepard was reminded of prehistoric dinosaurs, but on their hind legs. By their deep, rumbling voices that sounded almost like an argument, Shepard was pretty sure one was the bouncer of Chora's Den. He wasn't sure who the other one was.

"Back off, Wrex." growled one of the Krogan, the bouncer, shoving the other one back and away from the entrance, "Fist told us to take you down if you showed up."

The second Krogan, Wrex, was much larger than the first. And much more scarred. His thick armor was covered in weapons, including more than one knife. "What are you waiting for? I'm standing right here. This is Fist's only chance. If he's smart, he'll take it."

The Krogan bouncer went back to leaning up against the wall. "He's not coming out, Wrex. End of story."

Wrex thrust a thick finger in the bouncer's face. "This story is just beginning."

Wrex turned, and almost collided with Shepard. The Krogan's reptilian eyes bore into Shepard. His face and head reminded Shepard of an ancient Terran dinosaur, thick and leathery skin with a covering of bone over the head. Shepard could see the barest glimpse of razor sharp fangs. The Krogan species had a reputation as warriors, and this one certainly looked like one.

"Out of my way, humans. I have no quarrel with you." He pushed his formidable bulk past them.

The bouncer watched Wrex go, and then turned his attention to Shepard and his companions. His eyes lingered on Shepard's weapons. "You coming to start something, human?"

"Alliance business," replied Shepard, "We're looking for someone."

"Name?"

"Harkin."

"Hmm, the human, right? Don't see the problem. Yeah, he's in there. Just don't start anything," the Krogan grunted, "Or do, I don't mind." He had pulled his wide mouth back in a snarl, or maybe it was a smile. Shepard couldn't quite tell.

"Huh," said Kaidan as they stepped inside, "I wonder what that was all about? With those Krogan?"

"Who knows," replied Ashley, "Let's just try not to get caught in the middle."

Shepard wasn't really sure what he had expected when they stepped into Chora's Den. It wasn't really a nightclub. More like a gentleman's club. Almost completely naked Asari danced and gyrated along with similarly clad human women on stages and in booths. The serving staff were not much different to the dancers. The other patrons were from half a dozen different races, but mostly human and Turian. The place stank with the sweat of half a dozen different races and the heady cocktail aroma of a variety of drugs and beverages.

Ashley spoke first, "So, we travel a million light years from home... and we walk into a bar filled with men drooling over half-naked women shaking their asses on stage. Alenko, is that funny or sad?"

Alenko smirked a little, "What, you don't think they're here because of the food? This place is pretty popular, Chief."

"Yeah, put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it, Lieutenant."

"I never said I liked it!"

Shepard had no real opinion. He could imagine someone like Harkin hanging around a place like this, if Anderson and Udina had been right about him, and he was a drunk, he would have no shortage of booze here. They just had to find him.

Shepard lightly touched one of the waitresses on the shoulder as she passed him. "I'm looking for Harkin."

"Over there," she pointed, "Getting drunk, as usual."

"Thanks,"

Harkin was an older man, easily in his forties or fifties. There were multiple empty glasses scattered on his table, Shepard noted, as they approached and his C-Sec uniform was stained with a variety of fluids. _He better be coherent._

"Harkin," Shepard began, "I'm Commander Shepard. I'm hoping to ask you a few questions."

He was, but in the worst possible way. Harkin waved Shepard off as his eyes swept over Ashley. "Hey, beautiful... Why don't you come over here, sit on ol' Harkin's lap."

"I'd shut up before I put my boot in your lap!" replied Ashley.

Harkin rolled his eyes, "Fine, suit yourself." He took his eyes off Ashley, and placed them on Shepard. "So, what can I do for you, Mr. Bigshot Alliance Soldier?"

"I'm looking for a C-Sec officer. A Turian named Garrus Vakarian."

"Huh, you must be one of Anderson's crew. I heard about that. Poor bastard's still trying to bring Saren down, eh?" Harkin leaned back into his chair, "I know where Garrus is," nodded Harkin, "But you gotta tell me something first. Did Anderson let you in on his little secret?"

Shepard would have to admit he was slightly curious, but Harkin was a drunk. And it wasn't why Shepard was here. "I'm here for Garrus, Harkin, not to discuss the past."

"But it's all related, don't you see? The Captain used to be a Spectre!" Harkin noted the looks of shock on the three faces, "Yeah, didn't know that, did you? It was all very hush-hush. They first human ever to be given that honor. And then he blew it. He screwed up his mission so bad they kicked him out! Of course, he blames Saren. Says the Turian set him up. But, fine, don't believe me? Ask Anderson then! I bet he's too proud and stupid to lie right to your face!"

"What the hell is your problem with Captain Anderson?!" hissed Ashley, "I've got every reason to kick your-"

"That's enough, Williams! Don't let him get to you, he's just a drunk. Not even worthy of that uniform." He turned back to Harkin, "Fine, I'll ask Anderson, either way, I don't really care. Just tell me where Garrus is."

Harkin waved a dismissive hand, "Eh, that Turian's been sniffing around Doctor Michel's clinic. On the other side of the Wards. Last I heard, he was heading back there." A scantily-clad waitress came past, delivered Harkin another drink. Again, he said something rather crude.

"Thanks, Harkin." said Shepard as he turned to leave.

"Yeah, good, go," Harkin spat, "Let me drink in peace."

Outside Chora's Den, as they pushed through the crowds, Ashley asked: "Why didn't Captain Anderson tell us he used to be a Spectre?"

"Maybe it's not true," offered Kaidan, "Harkin's an ass. I bet he's just trying to mess with our heads."

"There's definitely a history between Saren and Anderson, though," said Shepard as he waved a Salarian shop owner away, "You both saw the Council meeting. For the moment, however, we have to find Garrus. Do you know of this Doctor Michel, Kaidan?"

Kaidan shook his head, "Not by name, but there's only one clinic in this section of the Wards. It's just up ahead."

The clinic was rather non-descript, and small. Even though Shepard couldn't recognise the symbols and languages that covered the outside wall, he could see a red cross. From there, he assumed they were all of a similar message. The door was already open, but someone was screaming.

"I didn't tell anyone, I swear!" someone, a woman, screamed from inside the clinic. Shepard raised his hand, paused by the door.

"Smart move, doc," glowered another voice, male, rough. "Now, if Garrus comes 'round, you stay smart! Keep your mouth shut or we'll-"

"You'll what?" said Shepard from the door.

"Who the hell is that?! Who's there?"

"I'm Alliance military! We can work this out!"

"Stay the fuck out!" yelled the man, "Stay the fuck away from the door! Unless you want to see this doctor's brains all over the fl-" There was a gunshot.

Shepard raced into the room, his pistol up and ready. A Turian in full combat gear, Shepard instantly recognised Garrus, stood with his own sidearm out and pointed towards a woman - Doctor Michel, Shepard surmised - and a man. The man had her by the throat, a pistol pointed at her temple.

Dr. Michel was screaming. At first Shepard thought Garrus had hit her, blood covered her uniform, but then the man slumped to the ground and did not move.

"Perfect timing, Shepard!" called Garrus Vakarian, holstering his pistol, "Gave me a clear shot at the bastard. Doctor Michel, are you hurt?"

Shepard stepped further into the clinic as Kaidan and Ashley lingered by the door.

"You're lucky you didn't hit her, Garrus, did you even _think_ about that?" Shepard asked, just a bit too hotly for his own liking. There's too much riding on this!

"What?" Garrus spluttered, turning back to Shepard, his black eyes wide. "There wasn't time to think! I just reacted!" He turned back to Michel, attempting to explain. "I didn't mean to-"

"Look, it's alright," said Shepard, trying to let his sudden frustration evaporate. "The doctor's fine. You got lucky. That, or you've got a good eye."

Michel was an attractive redhead, she was busy trying to wipe some blood from her medical scrubs. Eventually she stopped. "I'm alright, Garrus. Thank you. You said you were Alliance military?" Even though her voice was shaking, Shepard noted she had an accent that marked her heritage from one of the old European countries on Earth.

"Commander John Shepard," he indicated his companions, who had taken up positions by the door. "Chief Ashley Williams and Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. Who was that man?"

"He works- worked for Fist. He wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the Quarian."

"A Quarian?" asked Garrus, "What Quarian? That's certainly unusual."

"Let me explain," as Michel talked, she grew in confidence. "A few days ago, a Quarian came into the clinic. Garrus is right, we don't usually see Quarians here on the Citadel. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it, and she wouldn't go to C-Sec. She was scared, probably on the run. She asked me about the Shadow Broker."

"Shadow Broker?" asked Ashley in the background,

"He buys and sells information," explained Garrus, "Very powerful."

Michel was continuing, "She said she had information for him. I put her in contact with Fist."

"The owner of Chora's Den?" asked Kaidan, "_That _Fist?"

Michel nodded, "I don't know many others. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

Garrus shook his head, "Not anymore. That's the problem. I've been monitoring his communications. He works for Saren now."

Shepard's mind went back to Wrex, the imposing Krogan at Chora's Den, the one who had been making threats. Michel spoke: "He betrayed the Shadow Broker? That's stupid! Even for him! Saren must have made him quite the offer!"

The Turian was deep in thought. "I would bet that the Quarian has something that Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get."

"And I'd bet that it links him to the Geth, or Eden Prime," said Shepard, "Either way, it's exactly what we need."

Garrus nodded, "Why else would Saren go to all this trouble? The Council cannot ignore this!"

"Slow down, Garrus. We don't have anything yet," Shepard reminded him, "I think we should have a talk with Fist."

"Back to Chora's Den, then?" That was Kaidan.

Ashley just groaned.


	10. Part II: Transcend, Ch IV: Turbulence

**Chapter IV - Turbulence**

In the half an hour or so that Shepard had been gone, Chora's Den had erupted into a firefight.

Shepard, Garrus, Ashley and Kaidan all had taken to cover outside the door. Alongside Wrex, who Shepard believed was responsible for the current situation. Making good on his earlier threats, Shepard guessed. They had been stuck in cover for several minutes now. Occasionally, Wrex would lean out and fire off one of his many weapons and someone inside Chora's Den would scream. It was like he hadn't even noticed Shepard, or any of his companions.

Shepard wondered if any of the people inside, the people that Wrex was killing with almost reckless abandon, were people he had seen there earlier. If any of them were innocents.

Wrex held a shotgun that seemed too small in his huge hands. "I recognise you, human," he stated finally, "Almost ran you over outside this place." His shotgun had overheated, Shepard imagined that it was the only reason he had started talking.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm Shepard. You're Wrex? Here to kill Fist?"

The Krogan nodded and rumbled, "Yeah. He's mine."

"He's got information we need! Let me talk to him first!"

Wrex shrugged, "I've heard a lot about you, Shepard. We're both warriors. So, out of respect, I'll give you fair warning: I'm going to kill Fist."

"I don't want-" Shepard had begun to reply, but Wrex was already moving.

Wrex moved across the floor of Chora's Den like a leviathan of legend. His odd, almost lumbering gait held a surprising amount of speed. The Krogan was seemingly a force of nature, merciless and unstoppable. Wrex hurled one of Fist's thugs into another one, fired his shotgun with one hand at another, and slammed a fourth's head down onto the bar. Someone fired a shotgun into Wrex's abdomen, at almost point-blank range, and Wrex simply brought a large fist down on the man's head. It took Shepard a few seconds to both get over the Krogan's capability for rampant destruction, and realise that if Wrex got to Fist first there probably wouldn't be enough of the man to recognise him, much less get information from.

"Great! We've got a pissed off Krogan to deal with!" yelled Ashley over the sound of Wrex's bestial roars.

Shepard yelled back, "We need to get to Fist before he does!"

Garrus had reached onto his back for something, "Commander, if I may." Shepard recognised what Garrus had pulled from the hardpoint on his armor. A sniper rifle. "I will cover you from the door." Recalling the earlier incident of Garrus' pinpoint accuracy, Shepard found himself musing that maybe Garrus was actually just that good a shot.

"Sounds like a plan, Garrus. Williams, Alenko, stay with me!"

The three of them ducked into the club, weapons ready. It took them all a few moments to realise that, ultimately, the plan was all for naught. Wrex had made quite sure to dispense of every single criminal he had encountered on his single-minded warpath. Shepard couldn't help but look and see if any of the corpses was Harkin.

But Wrex himself was nowhere in sight. He had already moved deeper into the club, leaving only destruction in his wake.

Shepard swore, and broke into a run. He rounded a corner, through a doorway that the Krogan had seemed to simply break down, through a storage room that was oddly untouched amidst Wrex's rampage, and into the back room.

Wrex lay slumped against the wall, numerous holes blown in his imposing suit of combat armor. Thick green Krogan blood oozed from the numerous wounds, but Shepard noted that Wrex was already patching them with medi-gel. Hell, he doubted that such damage would have been enough to really harm the alien in the first place.

"He's got autogun turrets," explained Wrex rather matter-of-factly. For someone who had several shards of metal lodged in his abdomen and chest, he seemed rather nonplussed.

Garrus stuck his head out from behind a pillar, and almost had his face blasted off. "They're quick!" he called, "I can't get a shot!"

Kaidan was tapping away furiously at his omni-tool, "He's got a hell of an encryption protocol on these things! I can't do anything!"

_So, we can't get in - but Fist can't get out. This is a stalemate, providing that Fist doesn't have any other escape routes._

Wrex spoke up, lumbering his way over from his cover. "I can help with that, Turian." His path would take him right into the autoguns' firing line.

Shepard was about to call for Wrex to get down, until he noted the same distortion gathering around Wrex that he always noted around Kaidan. It was almost invisible to the naked eye, but it only ever meant one thing.

The Krogan was a biotic.

When the autoguns opened fire at Wrex, something seemed to happen to their projectiles. They slowed as they approached Wrex. Although they didn't quite stop, Wrex's shields were having a much easier time of absorbing the shells.

Shepard realised, "He's drawing fire for us! Go!"

Garrus edged out, lined up on one of the turrets, and fired. The hypersonic slug blasted away the majority of the gun turret, leaving only a smoking ruin.

The second one had Shepard and Ashley open up on it. The assault rifle projectiles put several dents in the turret's chassis, but not much else. It continued to fire. "Garrus! Take it out!"

"I can't! Not from this angle!"

Kaidan, however, stepped out into the open. The turret was still hammering away at Wrex, who was shaking from the exertion required to maintain the barrier field. Kaidan's hand swung to the side, and the side of the turret crumpled inwards like he had hit it with the mother of all hammer blows. Something shorted out inside the turret and it began to spark and burn.

"Target down, Commander," was all Kaidan said, "And so's Fist."

A piece of shrapnel had caught Fist - a rather unimpressive man with a crewcut - in the leg. He was clutching his leg, trying to stem the flow.

As Wrex recovered from his biotic display, Shepard advanced on Fist and got in the first question. It was an important one. "Where's the Quarian, Fist?"

"I- I- I..." Fist stammered, "...don't know where she is! That's the truth!"

"He's no use to you now," It was Wrex, his shotgun already out and levelled. "Let me kill him." Either he had recovered, or the prospect of killing Fist had revitalised him.

Fist screamed, his eyes wide with fear. "Wait! I don't know where she is exactly, but I think I know where you can find her!" The words were spilling out of his mouth, "She said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself!"

"Face to face? Impossible," grumbled Wrex, still aiming, "Even _I_ was hired through an agent."

"Nobody meets the Shadow Broker," explained Fist, "_Ever_. Even I don't know his true identity. But she didn't know that... I told her... I told her I'd set a meeting up. But when she shows up, it will be Saren's men waiting for her!"

"You son of a bitch!" exclaimed Shepard, "Tell me where she is, now, and I won't let Wrex here blast your head off."

Wrex took a step forward, and Shepard realised with a cold chill that the Krogan was laughing. It was like a pair of boulders grinding against each other.

"Here! On the Wards!" cried Fist, backed completely up against the wall, "In the back alley by the markets! It's an old access corridor or something! She's supposed to meet them right now!"

That meant there was no time to deal with Fist. They'd have to get Garrus to notify C-Sec and haul him in. "Let's g-"

Something deafening boomed at Shepard's side, and it took him a moment to realise what the sound was. Wrex had fired his shotgun.

Fist lay slumped against the wall, his chest a bloody wreck. His eyes were open, but uncomprehending.

"What are you doing?!" shouted Garrus as he whirled towards Wrex, "He was unarmed!"

"The Shadow Broker paid me to kill him," replied Wrex simply, reholstering his shotgun, "And I don't leave jobs half done."

_Neither do I_, thought Shepard. "Now is not the time, Garrus! Chief, get back to Udina! Tell him we have evidence that will prove Saren's gone rogue!"

Ashley nodded, "On it, Commander!"

Shepard took one long look at Fist's body, a hole blown almost clean through it by Wrex. Fist had surrendered. He should have been taken into custody, not killed - murdered - by a bloodthirsty Krogan. What else could Fist have known about Saren? Shepard, however, knew that he could reprimand Wrex later. And that was if anyone cared about Fist's murder at all. For now, they had to find the Quarian. Too much depended on her to risk losing her to Saren.

"Speaking of half done jobs, Wrex... You interested in finishing this?"

Shepard was already walking. Wrex lumbered after him, followed by Garrus and Kaidan.

"You mean Saren's men?" He shrugged his massive shoulders, "I've got nothing else to do."

"Just don't get..." Shepard decided to phrase himself carefully, "...excited, we need the Quarian."

Wrex frowned. "What do you take me for, Shepard, an amateur?"

Shepard looked around the broken and shattered club. "Point taken."

* * *

The meeting place was exactly where Fist had said it was. Shepard, Garrus, Wrex and Kaidan had taken cover behind a few derelict shipping crates. Shepard could make out a few figures ahead of them. One was a Turian in black combat armor, and two others in white combat armor and helmets that Shepard wasn't sure about. _Probably Salarian_. That left the fourth one, the one Shepard couldn't recognise, the one that seemed to be wearing a full environmental suit, to be the Quarian.

From what Shepard could see, even though she was facing away from the group, the Quarian could easily be mistaken for a rather lithe and slender human, the only major differences seemed to be hips and shoulders that were slightly wider than the human average. And, of course, the fact that she was clad in an environmental suit that was skin-tight and completely sealed. Standing facing her was the Turian - whose face had been painted up to resemble a human skull, oddly enough - and the pair of aliens in combat armor that Shepard now guessed to be Salarian.

"Where's the Shadow Broker?" The Quarian was saying, "Where's Fist?"

"They'll be here," replied the Turian, calmly. He ran his hand down the Quarian's neck, over her shoulder, down her arm. "Such a shame to hide this-" He only stopped when the Quarian grabbed his hand. His voice took on a more dangerous tone, "Where's the evidence?"

The Quarian took a decisive step back, pushing the Turian away. "No way. The deal's off."

The Turian sighed and signalled his men. "I like it when they play hard to get," There was a series of clicks that Shepard knew were weapons going active. The Quarian had a pistol, but Saren's three had shotguns and rifles. "Try to take her alive," he continued.

"Now!" Shepard barked. The Quarian ducked with incredible speed and dove out of the line of fire. Shepard had thought he had seen the Quarian drop something as she dove out of the way. Something exploded, confirming his assessment.

Wrex came out of cover first, roaring like a terrible beast, charging through the smoke and flames. It felt like the ground shook with his steps, and he ran straight into one of the Turian's henchmen. The Turian, for his part, whirled on Wrex with incredible speed and buried a long wicked knife into Wrex's armor. Wrex roared and batted the Turian away like an insect. The Turian rolled with Wrex's strike, and came up again. As he rose, he drew a heavy pistol and aimed at Wrex's head.

Garrus leveled his rifle over a nearby box, and fired.

The Turian assassin growled as his shields went down and he ducked for cover, taking him out of Garrus' line of fire. Garrus shifted his aim, and one of the Salarians - whom Shepard had been firing at - fell suddenly, a sizable amount of its head and helmet missing.

"Rifle's overheated!" Garrus called, "Give me a moment!"

Shepard glanced at his Krogan companion. Wrex grunted and pulled the knife from his back, dropping it to the ground. "Is that all you've got, Turian?" his gravelly voice was laced with obvious contempt.

And the Turian's second henchman was drawing a bead on him. "Alenko!" barked Shepard, aiming his own rifle to engage the Salarian. "Cover Wrex!"

"I'm on it," announced Kaidan, swinging out from cover, his pistol firing.

The second Salarian was in cover, smart enough to not provide any sort of way for Shepard to hit him. Even with Kaidan and the Quarian adding their firepower, they could not hit him. Whoever tried to move out of their own cover first would get killed. However, with the three of them suppressing the Salarian, he could not fire upon Wrex.

Kaidan had other weapons, however. "He's in cover, Kaidan!" yelled Shepard over the gunfire, "Can you do something about it?"

Kaidan focused, there was a slight ripple in the fabric of space-time, and the cover the Salarian mercenary had been using suddenly exploded in a dozen different directions. The Salarian was knocked prone. Shepard couldn't read the Salarian's expression behind his helmet, but he didn't need to. He shot the Salarian with one burst to drop his shields, and then fired again.

Wrex was moving again, and he was hammering his large fists against the Turian. The Turian evidently had some form of martial arts training, but he simply could not match Wrex's overpowering strength. He struck out at Wrex's head, but the bony plating deflected the blows. The Turian dropped to one knee, and Wrex savagely kicked him in the jaw. Something snapped, and the Turian did not move.

Then, it was all over.

"Fist set me up!" It was the Quarian, her voice sounding odd through the filter on her helmet. Either due to the composition of the opaque visor itself, or the lighting, Shepard couldn't see any details through it. "I _knew_ I couldn't trust him!"

"Don't worry about Fist," said Shepard, sparing a quick glance at Wrex, "He got what was coming to him." Back to the Quarian, "Are you alright, Ms..."

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. Please, call me Tali."

"My name's John Shepard. I heard you have evidence that can prove Saren's gone rogue."

Tali nodded as she slipped her pistol onto her thigh. "Then I can repay you for saving my life. But not here, we need to go somewhere safe."

"How about the ambassador's office?" Kaidan offered.


	11. Part II: Transcend, Ch V: The End

**Chapter V - The End**

It was right about when Ambassador Udina opened his mouth that Shepard realised he didn't particularly like him.

"You're not making my life easy, Shepard." Udina's words were clipped, deliberate. He was standing on the balcony that overlooked the rest of the Presidium. "Firefights in the wards? An all-out assault on Chora's Den? Do you know how many-"

Udina's words had cut off as he turned around. His eyes were fixed not on Shepard, but on the person standing closely behind him. Udina's expression had turned even more sour than it usually was, if such a thing were possible. "Who's this? A Quarian? What are you up to Shepard?"

"Her name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and she has information that can help us expose Saren," Shepard replied, trying to keep his voice even. He may not like Udina, but he was a soldier and he had to put up with people he didn't like. "I thought Chief Williams had explained it."

Shepard heard a terse "My name is Tali!" from behind him. Shepard wondered if she didn't like her whole name for some specific reason. He had to admit it was a bit of a mouthful.

On the balcony, almost directly opposite Shepard, Ashley threw up her hands in exasperation. "I did, Commander, but-"

Udina interrupted her, "She had, Shepard. I was, however, meaning more in general..." He addressed Tali, "We don't see many Quarians here, why did you leave the Flotilla?"

"I am on my Pilgrimage," replied Tali with, as Shepard noted, no small amount of pride in her voice. "My rite of passage into adulthood. As for your evidence... During my travels, I began hearing reports of Geth. Since they drove my people into exile, the Geth have never ventured beyond the Veil. I was... _curious_. So, I tracked a patrol of Geth to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then, I disabled it, and removed its memory core."

Wrex grunted to draw attention before he spoke. "I thought Geth wiped their memory cores. To prevent this _exact_ situation." The Krogan looked just as dangerous relaxed, leaning against the wall, as he had under an hour ago in the Wards.

Tali nodded, "They do, but some information can be retrieved if you are skilled enough." By her tone of voice, Tali evidently believed herself to be.

Udina settled behind his desk, but did not sit. "You have evidence, let's hear it."

Tali lifted her arm, now glowing with the orange displays of an omni-tool. Her fingers - Shepard noted she only had three - tapped away for a few moments.

"Eden Prime was a major victory!" Shepard recognised the familiar voice instantly. "The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit."

"That's Saren's voice!" exclaimed Anderson, "This proves he was involved in the attack!"

"A voice can be faked, Captain," said Udina, raising a thoughtful hand to his chin. "But, with the eyewitness testimony and the information Garrus provided about Fist... It may be enough."

"Wait," said Tali, "There's more. Saren wasn't working alone."

A female voice. One that felt old, wise. "And one step closer to the return of the Reapers."

"Sounds like an Asari," Wrex added,

The word reached right into Shepard's brain, and nudged the part the beacon had done... something to. "I feel like I've heard that name before..."

"I'd hope so," Wrex continued, but Tali had begun speaking again and her enthusiasm seemed to overrule Wrex's deep voice.

"According to the memory core, the Reapers were a hyper advanced machine race that existed fifty thousand years ago. The Reapers hunted the Protheans to extinction, and then they vanished!" Her enthusiasm dropped off slightly, as if she realised what she had been saying. "At least, that's what the Geth believe."

Udina snorted as he sat down in the chair behind his desk. "Sounds a little far-fetched."

"The vision on Eden Prime..." Shepard said, his brain was buzzing insistently now, something was trying to make him remember. He could feel a headache coming on. "I think... I don't think I saw Geth. I think I saw the Protheans being wiped out by these Reapers."

Udina settled back further into his chair, "The Council is just going to love this..."

"We have to tell them!" replied Anderson, who had been standing on the balcony with Kaidan and Ashley, "Even if they don't believe everything, this proves that Saren is a traitor!"

"Then I suppose we need to present this to the Council right away," Udina replied with only a hint of sarcasm, "But what about the Quarian?"

"You saw me in the alley, Commander!" said Tali quickly, cutting in before Shepard could react. "You know what I can do. Let me come with you!"

Shepard thought for a moment, "Aren't you on a Pilgrimage?"

Tali nodded. "Yes, but it is supposed to prove that we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this? Saren is a danger to the entire galaxy. My Pilgrimage can wait."

Despite her enthusiasm, Shepard found himself thinking. Tali did not seem that old, if she was truly on some rite of passage, Shepard would place her at the Quarian equivalent of eighteen. Maybe younger. However, he also noted that the Quarians surely would not send out those that couldn't fend for themselves. She had fought well enough against Saren's assassins, and she evidently knew her way around a variety of technological systems. Someone like that could be useful.

And some part of Shepard found her boundless enthusiasm rather charming. He nodded, "Glad to have you aboard, but no one said anything about me hunting down Saren yet."

"Thanks, Commander. You won't regret this!"

Udina pulled himself to his feet, "Come, Anderson. Shepard, we will brief the Council. Meet us there in fifteen minutes."

After they left, Ashley decided to talk. "Jeez, we make Udina's damn day and he acts like we're going around picking fights," Ashley spared a quick glance at Wrex, "Well, most of us aren't."

Wrex chuckled. It was still not a reassuring sound. "Jealous?"

"Of a thick-headed brute like you?" retorted Ashley, "Of a murderer? No, not at all."

"Easy, Williams," said Shepard. Last thing he wanted was to break up a fight between Wrex and Ashley.

Wrex rumbled his reply, "Most Krogan would kill you for less than that, human. I do _not_ go looking for fights!" It was hard to tell with Krogan, but Shepard found himself thinking that Ashley had struck a nerve.

Ashley rolled her eyes, "Yeah, right."

Thankfully, Garrus took that moment to enter the ambassador's office. He stopped just inside the doorway.

"Hey, Garrus," said Kaidan, "We were just about to head off to the Tower to present Tali's evidence to the Council. You coming?"

"I can't," replied Garrus, his mandibles twitching in frustration, his voice sounding just as frustrated. "Executor Pallin wants me to file a report on what happened in Chora's Den and the Wards. And it cannot wait, as usual. And he... wants me to bring Wrex in for questioning."

Wrex looked over the Turian, "Why is that, Turian? To arrest me? Let them try."

Garrus shook his head, sighed in exasperation. "I don't know. They may not have liked Fist, but they do not like murder either, or bounty hunting."

Wrex grunted as he pushed himself off the wall, "Fine. Lead the way." The Krogan paused by the doorway, "I might see you around sometime, Shepard."

"Maybe, Wrex," nodded Shepard, "Thanks for your help."

Wrex gave a barely perceptible nod as he followed Garrus from the office.

"Well, he was certainly an interesting fellow," said Kaidan after a moment. Tali nodded.

Ashley however, was thinking of something different. "Not that I particularly care about Vakarian or anything, but it's a bit rough. You'd think this Pallin would let him see the result of his work. Turian or not, he did help us."

Kaidan was grinning from ear to ear. "Is that a trace of compassion I hear in your voice, Chief?"

Ashley just sighed, "Shut it, Alenko. It's just not fair."

Shepard shook his head, "No, it's not. But neither is life. We should get moving," he said, "We can't afford to keep the Council, or Udina, waiting."

"Got that right, skipper," replied Ashley, but Shepard wasn't sure what she was replying to. "Although the thought of seeing Udina go ballistic is sort of tempting, sir."

As they left the ambassador's office, with Ashley, Kaidan and Tali falling in behind him, Shepard found himself wondering about the aliens. He was dimly aware of Kaidan and Ashley chatting behind him.

Shepard imagined Wrex would return to his work... whatever it was that he did. Hopefully, it wouldn't bring him into conflict with Shepard or the _Normandy_ at some point. Garrus had wanted to stop Saren, but Shepard wasn't sure if the young C-Sec officer would be willing to pursue the rogue Turian Spectre across the galaxy. More importantly, Pallin probably wouldn't let , the Turians were known for their love of duty. If Garrus viewed Saren as his responsibility... All in all, Shepard wasn't sure how Garrus would react. And, as for Tali...

She obviously believed that Shepard would be the one to stop Saren. She was young and perhaps too enthusiastic for her own good. Shepard had seen many soldiers die because of that enthusiasm. _Just like Jenkins_. Ultimately, however, it would be moot - it would be the Council's responsibility, and not Shepard's, to hunt down Saren. Hell, they'd probably send another Spectre to do it. And then what would Tali do?

A quick glance at Tali while Shepard thought abruptly derailed his train of thought.

In the bright Presidium lights, Tali looked different. There were many things Shepard hadn't noticed in the dark atmosphere of the Wards. It was disconcerting. He hadn't noticed that her legs were quite different to a human's, the ankle joint was much higher, reminding Shepard of some sort of cat. However, that wasn't the fact that was making him rather uncomfortable.

Her helmet, with the sole glowing point of light where her mouth would be, was reminding Shepard of the Geth.

"Tali," he said after a moment, "You mentioned these Reapers. You implied that the Geth believe that they are gods, or that they at least revere them. Do you think that's why they are following Saren?"

Tali turned her head to look at Shepard. "The Geth don't think, Shepard. Nor do they believe."

"Pardon, Tali? But you said-"

"They are machines, Shepard," she said, as if it was the most simple fact in the world. Space is black, humans breathe oxygen, Geth are machines, and machines don't think.

"They seemed pretty intelligent when I fought them on Eden Prime."

"The Geth were constructed to be more intelligent in groups. A neural network. They have increased processing power, but it is not intelligence, not like a Quarian - or a Human - intelligence. The Geth obviously have... incomplete data and have drawn a conclusion from it."

There was a distinct sense hostility there behind Tali's words. It surprised Shepard. "But Saren evidently believes it."

"To control the Geth. If his 'faith' falters for even a moment, the Geth will kill him. It's what they do, Shepard."

"You seem to know a lot about the Geth, Tali."

"We created them, Shepard." she said, just as simply as before.

Shepard decided to leave the conversation there. He pushed it from his mind as they stepped into the elevator that would take them to the Council.

* * *

As they approached, Shepard could hear the recording of Saren's triumphant voice. He took position alongside Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson. His squad, two humans and a Quarian, took positions just off the podium.

"You wanted proof?" Shepard noted that Udina was smirking as he addressed the council, "There it is."

The three Council members glanced at each other. "This evidence you have collected is irrefutable, Ambassador," The Turian finally admitted, "Saren will be stripped of his status as a Spectre and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes."

"However, I recognise that voice," said the Asari councilor, "Matriarch Benezia. The Matriarchs are powerful Asari who have entered the final stage of their lives. With their wisdom and experience they serve as guides, mentors and leaders to my people. If that is Matriarch Benazia... then Saren possesses a formidable ally."

"I'm more interested in these 'Reapers'," spoke up the Salarian councilor, "What do you know about them?"

Udina went to speak, but the Salarian held up a three fingered hand. "With all due respect, Ambassador, I wish to hear from Commander Shepard."

Udina stepped back, scowling slightly, and Shepard stepped forward. He felt the strange buzzing, and fought down the urge to press his hand against his head to try and stop it. "Council, all we know for sure is what was extracted from the Geth's memory core. Apparently, the Reapers were an ancient race of machines that exterminated the Protheans fifty thousand years ago. After that, they vanished. If I may present a theory?"

"And what is this theory, Commander Shepard?" asked the Turian, almost as if he was humoring the Human.

"I think that it is entirely possible that the Geth revere the Reapers as gods. And that that is the reason the Geth follow Saren. He's essentially their prophet."

"And the Conduit?"

That word agitated Shepard's mind. "It's obviously a component of Saren's plan to bring back the Reapers. Regardless of what it is exactly, I feel that that reason should be enough to ensure that we prevent Saren from making use of it."

"Listen to what you are saying!" The Turian exclaimed, shaking his head, "Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible! It has to be! Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we have found no trace of their existence? Surely if they were real we would have found some sort of proof. Proof that didn't come from a vision. Something _tangible_."

"With all due respect," began Shepard, "We were right about Saren."

"This is different," said the Asari councilor, "The Reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander. A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the Geth to his will."

"Saren is now a rogue agent," said the Turian, "On the run for his life. He no longer had the rights and resources of a Spectre. This Council has stripped him of his position!"

"That's not good enough!" Udina suddenly exclaimed, raising a fist, "You know he is hiding somewhere in the Traverse! _Send your fleet in!_"

"A fleet cannot track down one man," said the Salarian.

"It could secure the entire region!" Udina almost yelled, "It would prevent the Geth from attacking any more of our colonies!"

"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems!" replied the Turian councilor, with just as much fire as Udina. "We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!"

Udina was absolutely incensed. The Turian's words were a slap to the face. Shepard thought Udina was going to explode. In a way, he did: _"I am sick of this Council and it's anti-human bull-"_

"_Ambassador!_" For the first time, the Asari councilor had raised her voice. It shocked the various diplomats into submission. "There is... another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets, or armies."

"No!" barked the Turian vehemently, "It is too soon! Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."

Shepard's attention was drawn away from his headache and towards the Council. Nihlus had been evaluating Shepard for this exact reason. Still, it couldn't be possible.

"It was a Turian Spectre who betrayed this council," said the Salarian, "It was a human who exposed him. Perhaps they are ready."

What missions had he been on? What had he been evaluated on? Sure, Shepard knew Alliance regulations and protocols, but he barely knew Citadel laws. But, then, what was it that Jenkins had been saying? That Spectres were above the law? Still, they couldn't pick him - wouldn't pick him. _Anderson had been a Spectre, right? They'll reinstate him._

Shepard's dreams and fears were abruptly realised with the words from an Asari: "Commander Shepard, step forward."

Shepard took the step forward, doubting that he could refuse this. However, Anderson's slight encouraging smile Shepard noticed from the corner of his eye filled him with some measure of resolve. And, hell, Udina would be screaming for his blood if he didn't. Shepard was suddenly aware of the dozens of eyes now focused on him. Not just from Udina, Anderson, the Council and his squad, but many people from many races had gathered to watch. It was a lot of pressure.

The Asari was continuing, "It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel."

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen," explained the Salarian, "Individuals forged in the fire of services of battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol," continued the Asari, as if on cue, "The embodiment of courage, determination and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

"Spectres bear a great burden." The Turian's arms were crossed, but he spoke the words with passion, "They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander," concluded the Asari councilor, "This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."

"Thank you, Council," he replied, "It's an honor."

"We are sending you into the Traverse after Saren," ordered the Turian, "He is a fugitive from justice, so you are authorised to apprehend him if possible or eliminate him if necessary."

Shepard nodded, "I'll find him."

Soon, the meeting was adjourned and there was silence. The meaning of the words 'first Human Spectre' had only just begun to sink in. For Commander John Shepard, it felt as if the world - no, the entire universe - had abruptly descended onto his shoulders.

And he wasn't sure if he could carry it.


	12. Part II: Transcend, Ch VI: Ascension

**Chapter VI - Ascension**

"We've got a lot of work to do, Shepard," said Udina as the group rode the elevator towards C-Sec Academy, "You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies..."

"You will all get access to special equipment and training now!" Anderson sounded more excited than Shepard felt, "There's a requisition officer in the Academy who can help you out."

The elevator doors dinged open, Udina was first out. "Anderson, come with me. I'll need your help to set all this up."

The two men left Shepard and his three companions and proceeded onwards to the Alliance docking bay. All around Shepard there were C-Sec officers in their black and blue uniforms. He could spot Turians, humans and more than a few Asari, all busy with the minute details that allowed the Citadel Security Force to function. He found himself trying to pick out Garrus and his unique facial markings.

"You know, Ashley," he said as he scanned the crowd, "I was thinking about what you said."

Ashley blinked, "Sir?"

"About Garrus," Shepard explained, not having any luck at sighting the Turian for the moment. "If he wants to bring Saren to justice, we should bring him along. We could use a sharpshooter like him."

"A Turian on an Alliance warship?" Ashley began, "Sir, I don't think the brass would stand for it."

"Probably not, but being a Spectre has its perks, I assume. Besides, Tali's coming along."

"You _cannot_ be serious, Commander," muttered Ashley.

"Chief Williams," Shepard said, "I believe it's a breach of Alliance regulations to address a superior officer in that way." He found himself fighting down the urge to smile. It was an odd feeling.

"Understood, sir."

At that moment, Garrus, Wrex and a human C-Sec officer strode up out of another part of the C-Sec Academy. Garrus spotted Shepard, and led the other two over. Shepard noted that, with Wrex, they were having a much easier time of moving through the crowd. People actually moved to get out of the Krogan's way.

"And speak of the devil," continued Ashley.

"Congratulations on becoming the first Human Spectre, Shepard." Garrus said,

Shepard nodded, "Thanks. I've got a proposal for you, Garrus. You want to bring down Saren? The Council assigned me to take him down, by any means necessary."

"Commander..." Garrus said at first, "Executor Pallin would be opposed to it. He doesn't like Spectres. He wouldn't like a C-Sec officer going off with a Spectre. No offense."

"None taken, but I could pull rank on the Executor for you," Shepard said quickly,

Garrus seemed unsure, "Would that be wise, Commander?"

"Does it matter? You helped us uncover Saren's plot. It's only fair that you get to help us capture him."

"Besides," said Kaidan, "It was Ashley's idea."

"It was?" asked Garrus, looking at the three humans with a strange curious expression.

"She was quite adamant about it." Kaidan continued, nodding.

"I said I'd bring Saren down, I meant it," Garrus said at last, "I'll inform Pallin and collect my gear."

"Then welcome aboard, Garrus," said Shepard, "Grab your stuff and meet us back here ASAP. We've got work to do."

"Will do, Commander. And thank you."

Ashley turned to Kaidan the moment Garrus couldn't hear her, "You're a bastard, Alenko."

"You did say it wasn't fair, Ash," Kaidan countered,

"Yeah, but you didn't have to tell him that!"

As the two of them bickered, Shepard turned to the other alien. Shepard met Wrex's almost completely unblinking stare, "You interested, Wrex? You'd be an asset."

Wrex shrugged, "I guess. I've already got my gear."

The human C-Sec officer eyed the conversation, "Sorry, Commander. I know you're something of a hero and all, even before you became a Spectre, but I don't think I'm allowed to let you leave with Urdnot Wrex here. Executor Pallin says he's under investigation."

Wrex snorted, "Looks like you have a fan, Shepard."

"I don't believe we've met," Shepard replied to the C-Sec officer,

"Lang, sir. Officer Eddie Lang." He snapped a quick and smart salute that Shepard returned.

"Well, Officer Lang, Wrex is my..." Shepard hunted from the right word. "He's my..."

"Bodyguard," Wrex grunted. And Shepard wasn't about to contradict the Krogan.

The C-Sec officer didn't seem to take Wrex's word for it. "Is that so?"

"Why?" growled Wrex, "You got a problem with it?" The massive Krogan leaned in close, to bring his yellow eyes level with the human C-Sec officer's, "Are you implying that a Krogan Battlemaster is incapable of protecting the first Human Spectre?"

Suddenly, Officer Lang had turned quite pale. "No, not at all. Besides, I, uh, I don't really want to get involved with Spectre business. Carry on, Shepard."

Garrus reappeared just as Shepard pressed the call button on the elevator. Shepard still wasn't an expert on reading Turian expressions, but Garrus seemed overjoyed at the prospect of being with Shepard. "How did Pallin take it?"

"Not very well," Garrus admitted, "He's saying I'm essentially going AWOL. But let him say that, I'll do much more good out there with you, Shepard."

"A Krogan, a Turian and a Quarian," Ashley sighed in exasperation, not really believing what she was seeing and hearing, "Why don't we just go find an Asari, a Volus and an Elcor too? Throw in a Hanar and we'd have the whole set."

"Chief," replied Shepard, "You seem rather enthused with our new crew members. At this rate, I'll get you to show them around the _Normandy_." Again, that strange urge to smile. It wasn't like him.

Ashley just nodded, eyes wide. "Ah, understood, sir. Sorry, sir."

Shepard nodded, but resolved to have a talk to Ashley about it. At first he had been able to tolerate it, due to the lack of non-humans aboard the _Normandy_. However, the last thing he wanted now was an 'incident' between Ashley and Garrus or, worse still, Ashley and Wrex. There were a few others on the _Normandy_ he would have to have a similar talk to as well.

They were just about to step into the elevator that would take them to the docking bay when Shepard head a voice calling his name. It wasn't one he recognised.

"Commander Shepard! John Shepard! Commander Shepard!"

Shepard turned. The voice belonged to a man, blonde with a goatee and, as far as Shepard was concerned, rather unremarkable. He had never seen him before in his life, of that Shepard was sure. "May I help you?"

"Commander! Hi! My name's Conrad! Conrad Verner. I'm sort of a fan! This is so great!"

"You have _fans_?!" Tali gasped, looking at Shepard. Before Shepard could open his mouth to reply, Conrad was already talking.

"Not just any fan!" he informed Tali, "His _biggest_ fan!"

Shepard had never had a fan before, at least, not to his knowledge. Or, if he had, they had never met him in person. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Conrad," he said after a moment's consideration, "What can I do for you?"

"I just want to say how much of an honor it is to meet you! I saw you on the news and I think it's great that you're out here showing the rest of the galaxy just what humanity can do! I've been trying to get the chance to talk to you ever since you arrived, but there's been Council meetings and all that important 'fate of the galaxy' stuff, right? And I don't have the clearance to get into the Citadel Tower..." Shepard idly reflected that if words were bullets then Conrad was a rapid-firing machine gun.

There was a slight pause in Conrad's verbal barrage.

"Could I maybe get your autograph, Commander Shepard?" He already had a pen and paper out. He was quite serious.

"Conrad..." Shepard began. Conrad had evidently bought right into the Alliance propaganda. The image he had of Shepard wasn't the real Shepard, and Shepard definitely found it uncomfortable. He was seeing a hero where there wasn't one. Shepard couldn't promote that image as he didn't really believe in it himself.

"Come on, Shepard!" That was Tali, who seemed just as excited as Conrad was.

Kaidan, seeing Shepard's hesitation, offered: "What's the harm in it?"

Shepard relented. "Alright, fine." He was a symbol now, more so than ever. Maybe this was a part of it. And he wasn't sure if he could break Conrad's heart and shatter his illusions. It wasn't his right or place. If Conrad wanted to see Shepard as a superhero, then Shepard would let it be. He signed the piece of paper and handed it back to Conrad. What was it that the Council had said? That Spectres were an ideal? Grudgingly, Shepard realised that this had to be a part of it. This is what Shepard would be as a Spectre, when he wasn't saving the galaxy.

No, Shepard definitely wasn't keen on being a symbol.

"Thanks, Commander!" Conrad gazed at the autograph like it was a holy relic, perhaps it was to him. "Wow! My wife's going to be so impressed! Keep fighting the good fight for us at home!" He snapped a quick salute that he probably thought as sharp, but Shepard only saw it as sloppy. Conrad shook Shepard's hand, and then moved around the group, even taking Wrex's giant hand in his own. Wrex, for his part, didn't seem to know how to respond. And then Conrad was gone, pausing at the Presidium elevator to show the autograph to the Turian guard, who didn't seem terribly impressed.

"He doesn't have a wife," stated Wrex rather bluntly as soon as Conrad was out of hearing range.

"Wrex!" exclaimed Kaidan.

"What?" asked Wrex, "I bet he doesn't."

"That," smirked Ashley, "Or his wife plays second fiddle to the Commander here."

"Ashley!" Shepard exclaimed before Kaidan could, "Let's not jump to conclusions here." He sighed, "Come on, the Captain's waiting for us, so's Udina. We've delayed enough as it is."

The group filed into the elevator.

"You enjoyed that, with the C-Sec officer," muttered Shepard to Wrex as they stepped inside.

Wrex chuckled, "I did."

"So, Wrex..." Tali began, having found herself next to him in the elevator, "What's your story?" She seemed so tiny next to the hulking Krogan.

"There is no story." Wrex stated with his usual bluntness.

"Come on, Wrex," said Kaidan, "You're a mercenary, and a Krogan. You must have _something_ interesting."

"Well," Wrex began slowly, "there was this one time where the Turians almost wiped out our _entire race_. That was fun." He glared at Garrus. The mood in the elevator suddenly became rather tense.

"Like what happened to us?" replied Shepard slowly, "The First Contact War?"

Wrex shook his head, "It's not the same! Were your people infected with a genetic mutation? A mutation that makes only a few in a thousand children survive birth? I suppose it's destroying your entire species?" Wrex snorted, "Besides, the genophage may have infected us, but it's not what's killing us."

Before Shepard could ask what Wrex had meant by that, Garrus looked over, and did the worst thing Shepard could think of given the circumstances. "Your species was attacking Citadel races and taking their worlds, Wrex."

"And that makes it acceptable, does it? That you and the Salarians decided to sterilise my people!?" The Krogan shoved Garrus back, "My entire species!?" Another strong shove sent Garrus against the elevator wall, "We needed room to expand!"

"Wrex, step back," warned Shepard, "Garrus had nothing to do with it."

"I know, Shepard," he growled, eyes focusing in Shepard's direction, "And I have nothing against you personally, Turian. But I cannot forgive your species for what they did."

"It was the Salarians who developed it," Garrus countered,

"And they never had any intention of actually using it, Turian. It was your species who mass-produced it. Who infected my homeworld, all of our colonies." Wrex took a few steps back and away from Garrus. "Remember that."

Garrus said nothing.

The rest of the elevator ride was short, but completely silent.

At the top, they were met by Udina and Anderson. The docking bay seemed open to space, but the technical prowess of the Protheans had constructed the Citadel to maintain an atmosphere and gravity within its boundary - at least in the docking bay. The _Normandy_ was docked to Shepard's left, connected to the Citadel by a docking ramp that bridged the 'neck' of the sleek stealth frigate with the station.

"That's your ship?" Tali gasped, "It's amazing!"

Shepard nodded, "The frigate _SSV Normandy_. First of its kind."

Udina fought down his shock at seeing Shepard with no less than three aliens behind him. "Commander, good. Anderson and I would wish to speak to you in private."

Shepard indicated the ship to his companions, "Get inside the _Normandy_, make yourselves at home. I'll be there shortly."

As the aliens, along with Kaidan and Ashley, made their way into the _Normandy_, Udina spoke: "I've got big news for you, Shepard. Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the _Normandy_. The ship is yours now."

_My luck really is bought with other people's loss._ "What?" asked Shepard, he glanced at Anderson, "Is this true?" He hoped Anderson would deny it, but Shepard knew Udina wasn't lying.

Anderson nodded, "She's quick, quiet and you know her crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre. I know you'll treat her well, Commander."

"But, it's not right! She's your ship!"

Anderson shook his head, with a hint of sadness in his dark eyes. "No, she's not, Shepard. Not anymore. The Ambassador was right. I need to step aside, and this is your mission. You need to be in command of the _Normandy_ if you are going to catch Saren."

Shepard didn't really agree with it, but he would respect Anderson's wishes. "If that's what you say, sir. What's the situation?"

"Saren's gone. Don't even try to find him. However, we know what he is after: the Conduit. Eden Prime was just the start, I bet he has his Geth scouting the Traverse, looking for clues."

Udina nodded, "We had reports of Geth in the Feros system shortly before our colony there dropped out of contact. There's also been reports of Geth sightings around Noveria. I've uploaded the data to the _Normandy's_ systems. You can review it at your leisure."

"Anything else?" asked Shepard,

"There is one more lead. Matriarch Benezia. She has a daughter, a scientist who specialises in the Protheans. It might be a good idea to find her and see what she knows. Her name is Dr. Liara T'Soni. Reports indicate she was exploring an archaeological dig site on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster."

"Either way," Anderson interrupted, "You're a Spectre now. You don't answer to us."

"However," said Udina sharply, his eyes burning a glare into Anderson's head, "Your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. If _you_ make a mess, _I _get stuck cleaning it up."

"I'll try not to make things more difficult for you, Ambassador. But I'm taking care of Saren, if that means political fallout then its your job to deal with it."

Udina bristled, "Not exactly the answer I was looking for, Shepard. Just remember, you were a human long before you were a Spectre." Udina just sighed, "I have a meeting to attend to. Captain Anderson has been briefed and can answer any questions you might have." He strode towards the elevator, leaving Anderson and Shepard alone on the docking platform.

There was only one question Shepard wanted an answer to, however. The two of them - Captain and Commander - stared out across the unused docking bay to their right, and out across the stars. "Captain, how do you know Saren?"

"I assume Harkin told you that?" was all Anderson said at first.

Shepard nodded.

"It was about twenty years ago, Shepard," Anderson began, quietly. "I was part of a mission in the Skyllian Verge. I was working with Saren to find and remove a known terrorist threat, a rogue scientist being funded by the Batarians." He nodded to himself, "Saren eliminated his target but a lot of people died along the way. A lot of people. A lot of innocent people. And the official records just... covered it all up. But I saw how he operates. No conscience. No hesitation. He d kill a thousand civilians without a second thought if it got him his target. There wasn't any of Anderson's usual venom in regards to Saren. Anderson seemed tired, defeated almost.

Anderson sighed, "I'm not naive, Shepard. I know how the world works. Sometimes you're forced to make unpleasant decisions, I can't imagine what you will have to do as a Spectre, now. However, Shepard, you only make those decisions if there's no other way. Saren doesn't even look for another option! He's twisted, broken, he likes the violence and the killing. The worst part about it, is that he knows how to cover his tracks."

"Yes, John, he did keep me from becoming a Spectre. Twenty years ago, the Human ambassador - Goyle - volunteered me for the Spectres. The Council sent a Spectre to evaluate me, I got Saren. I had a chance to become the first Human Spectre, and I failed. Saren made sure of that."

"How?" asked Shepard, "What happened? What kind of Turian am I dealing with here?"

"The worst kind," muttered Anderson darkly, "The scientist was trying to set up a facility to manufacture illegal AIs out in the Verge. Alliance Intel had done all the work, but the Council wanted a Spectre to be involved. This meant Saren. I was assigned to assist Saren in his investigation. We tracked the scientist to the planet Camala. He was hidden away in a refinery, guarded by an army of Batarian mercenaries. Our plan was simple: sneak into the plant, grab the scientist, sneak out. Quiet, quiet, and a minimum of bloodshed."

"How did it go wrong?"

"Saren and I split up to cover more ground. About halfway through the mission, there was a massive explosion in the refinery core. Officially, it was ruled as an accident - but I think Saren detonated it on purpose to draw off the enemy guards."

"And the damage?"

"The explosion tore the refinery to pieces. The whole place was on fire. Toxic black clouds poured into the atmosphere. Nobody inside the facility survived. But that's not the worst part." Anderson stopped suddenly.

"Sir?" asked Shepard, trying to coax it out of him.

"There was a camp for workers and their families nearby. Between the fires and toxic fumes, the final death count was well over five hundred lives. And Saren?" Anderson snorted, "He didn't care. He had eliminated his target, accomplished his mission. In his mission report, Saren pinned the blame for the explosion on me. Not only that, he accused me of blowing his cover. He said it was my fault that a simple operation became a massacre. It ended all talk of me joining the Spectres."

Shepard nodded, "So this isn't the only time they've trusted their best agent blindly..."

"No," said Anderson, "It's not, Shepard. It all honesty, I think the Council would have done their best to cover up Eden Prime as well, if we hadn't found any evidence. The thing is John, if someone said the same things about you, I would trust you. Saren is a monster and the Council shouldn't trust him, but if I was in their position..." He trailed off, "You _must_ stop Saren, Commander."

"Don't worry, Captain. I will. He can't hide forever."

"I know you will, John. You've gone through hell - twice. If there's anyone who can stop Saren, it's you." He stopped talking, "Your crew's probably waiting for you."

Shepard extended his hand, "It was an honor, sir."

Anderson took it in a firm handshake, "Likewise. Just..." he smiled slightly, "...take care of the _Normandy_ for me."

"Don't worry, sir. She's in good hands."

Anderson released Shepard's hand, "Then I'll take my leave." He turned on his heel and marched towards the elevator that would take him back to the C-Sec Academy.

Anderson never looked back. It was only when he got to the elevator that he turned to face Shepard, and snapped off a salute.

Shepard returned it, and held it until Anderson was out of sight.

* * *

"Joker," barked Shepard as he strode onto the _Normandy_ only a few minutes later, "Make the ship ready for departure."

"Aye, sir," nodded Joker, hands working away on his various consoles. "Hard to believe isn't it, sir?" he said as he worked, "Captain Anderson survives a hundred battles and then gets taken down by back-room politics," He shook his head, "Just watch your back, Commander. If things go bad on this mission, you're next on their chopping block."

_Yeah, no pressure or anything._ "Believe me Joker, I know. I can understand why the Captain's gone, but part of me thinks he should be here."

"There was nothing you could have done, Commander. Sure, the Captain got screwed, and, sure, it sucks, but there was nothing you could have done. No one here is blaming you. You're a Spectre now, and you need a ship of your own. The crew understands that. The entire crew is behind you, one hundred percent." He hit a button, "The intercom's open. Want to say a few words?"

Shepard did. There was so much he thought he should say. The crew would be worried about Anderson's departure, and some of them might even blame Shepard for it. Others might vent their displeasure at the Council, or the other aliens. No, Shepard wouldn't lie to his crew.

"This is Commander Shepard speaking," he began, "As of this moment, and with Captain Anderson's permission, I am taking command of the _Normandy_. We have new orders, and they are simple: eliminate Saren. He's a rogue Spectre, and he has an army of Geth at his command, so, he won't go down without a fight. And he knows we're coming."

He let that sink in.

"I won't lie to you, crew. This mission is _not_ going to be easy. The Council doesn't want to get directly involved, so it is up to us. Remember Eden Prime, and know that if we do not stop Saren then more planets will suffer the same fate! This isn't just for humanity, but for the entirety of Citadel space! Saren must be stopped! And we will be the ones to do it. To that end, trust in your shipmates - even if they are not human - and trust the _Normandy_. We will get through this."

A pause.

"That is all."

"Well said, Commander," said Joker, "Captain Anderson would be proud."

"Not if we fail, Joker," replied Shepard, "He gave me the _Normandy_ so I could stop Saren. We cannot fail."

"Understood sir, just one thing... once we have disengaged from the Citadel, where are we headed?"

Shepard thought. Noveria, with its rumored Geth? The colony of Feros which had dropped out of contact? Or to locate Liara T'Soni within the uncharted Artemis Tau star cluster? It was a tough decision, but Shepard eventually settled on his course.

"Plot a course for the Artemis Tau cluster, Joker. Best possible speed."


	13. Part III: Thesis, Ch I: Systems

**Part III - Thesis**

_"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." -T. S. Eliot_

**Chapter I - Systems**

The _Normandy _was underway. The stealth frigate hummed beneath Shepard's feet as he marched to his destination. It was almost the beginning of the crew's second week in the Artemis Tau cluster, and they didn't seem to be any closer to locating Doctor Liara T'Soni.

The Artemis Tau cluster was made up of four systems. Athens, Macedon, Sparta and Knossos. All of them uncharted, little more than names in the Alliance database. The _Normandy_ had already surveyed the first three, and found no sign of any Prothean ruins - or any archaeological excavations at all. It left only the system of Knossos.

_And if T'Soni's not here, then we're in trouble._

It had taken days to survey each system. And every day Shepard would get up and brief his command staff. Every day, they would find little of value. Every day it would seem like they were out in the cluster on a wild goose chase. Every day he would send a daily report to the Council, and every day he would never hear back from them.

He tried not to let it get to him.

In the interim time, Shepard had promoted Navigation Officer Pressly to the position of Executive Officer. Pressly was old, and his prejudices against non-humans were known, but Shepard trusted that Pressly would work on it. Besides, there were not many more skilled officers on the _Normandy_. Pressly had served on the _Normandy _since Anderson had taken command, and he had served on multiple warships beforehand. He had a bit of a temper, but as far as Shepard was concerned, that made him perfect for the role of XO.

_As long as he doesn't get into arguments with Adams about aliens, like he did with Nihlus, I think he will be a fine XO._

Inside the communications room, the room that Shepard had turned into a makeshift briefing room, were five members of the _Normandy's_ crew. Alenko, Williams, Doctor Chakwas, Pressly, the _Normandy's_ navigation officer, and Adams, the _Normandy's_ Chief Engineer.

"Good morning, everyone," Shepard began, "Please be seated. I won't bore you with the details, you all know the situation. Pressly, what information have we got on the Knossos System?"

Pressly, the aging grey-haired and balding navigator of the _Normandy_ spoke up. "Not a lot, sir," he replied, "Preliminary scans indicate five planets and two asteroid belts. The Alliance has no information about this system, so we're going to have to survey each planet one by one."

Shepard sighed, "Then, as usual, we'll start from the outside and work our way in. Intelligence indicates that Doctor T'Soni is somewhere within this star cluster. Considering the fact we have not located her in the other three systems, I'm assuming she's in this one. Pressly, draw up an optimal path for the Normandy to take through this system and then submit it to Joker."

"Aye, sir,"

"Remember, we'll be checking out any planet with Prothean ruins." He turned to Adams, "_Normandy's_ status?"

In contrast to Pressly's hotheaded nature, Adams was very calm and even-tempered. He took everything in his stride. Whether it was through faith in Shepard (and Anderson before him), or Adams' own steadfast, unfazeable nature, Shepard was never quite sure. "Engine core is fully functional, sir. She's been performing at optimal levels."

"Just like every other day," muttered Ashley, but Shepard let it slide. Her frustration was understandable.

"However," continued Adams, "we have a build up of drive charge. Ideally, we would discharge the core in this system. However, it's not urgent at this time."

"Well," pondered Shepard, "if we find a suitable planet we might as well discharge it there. Anything else?"

The officers shook their heads.

"That leaves one more thing, then," said Shepard, "Our new guests. Garrus Vakarian, Urdnot Wrex and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. How are they fitting in?"

Kaidan was first to answer, "I haven't seen or heard of any problems, sir."

Chakwas nodded, "They passed all inspections, Commander. Tali was... difficult, but her suit appears to be equipped with numerous medical computers and enhancements. I figured I'd let it slide. She did mention that she has implants to assist her immune system. If she hasn't removed her suit since she left the Flotilla then I doubt she's carrying anything. She should be fine."

Shepard thought for a moment, weighed up the possibility of Tali being infectious against the fact that she was wearing an air-tight encounter suit. He could order Tali to submit to a full examination, and she'd probably follow the order, but that seemed like an abuse of his authority. "I suppose that's acceptable. Williams?"

She just sighed, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Granted," nodded Shepard,

"Wrex is a bastard!" exclaimed Ashley, "He argues with the Turian- Garrus, I mean, over every little detail."

"He is a Krogan, that is to be expected, I guess," offered Pressly. His eyes went wide, "Oh, sorry, sir."

"Considering the fact that Garrus has taken to the Mako for some bizarre reason, it means Wrex is usually down in the cargo bay too. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this. But, sir, I'm down there a lot of the time, checking our weapons and supplies. What I'm trying to say here, sir, is... maybe you could speak to them?"

"I'll see what I can do, Chief. Anything else?"

Chief Engineer Adams spoke up then, "Actually, I'd like to say that Tali has made herself quite at home in the engine room."

"Is that a problem, Adams?"

"Not at all, sir!" Adams shook his head, "She knows more about ship systems it seems than my entire crew put together. If my crew were half as smart as her... She works hard, sir, and keeps to herself. In fact, the only problem might be that my men can't concentrate on their jobs when they're wondering what she looks like under that helmet. They've got some very interesting ideas, sir."

Kaidan nodded, "They do. Some of them have even set up a betting pool," he paused, stammered, "Ah, not that I've been taking part, sir."

Shepard nodded, grinned slightly. It felt strange. "No doubt. Any other questions?"

There were five negative responses.

"Good. Dismissed."

Ashley lingered until the other officers were outside. "Sir, not that I'm questioning your orders," she said after a few moments, "but this is a prototype Alliance vessel. Is it wise to let the other races wander around?"

"There's been no problem so far, Chief," replied Shepard. " You heard Adams, everyone in engineering seems to love Tali, and Garrus has been working on improving our Mako, no idea why, but it is something that, may I remind you, we are probably going to need in order to find this Doctor T'Soni. I'll take any edge I can get if it will help us stop Saren."

Ashley nodded, "Like I said, we'd just need an Elcor, a Hanar and a Volus, sir. And if you order me to play nice with the aliens I will, sir. But _Wrex?_ I'm not kidding sir, he spends his time arguing with the Turian and intimidating the other crew members."

Shepard held up his hands, "Chief, I said I'd have a talk to him. It's all I can do. Dismissed."

She saluted, "Yes, sir. I understand, sir."

As Ashley left, Shepard realised he now had very little to do. For the first two systems, he had supervised the search while on the bridge. Nothing ever happened, no pirates, no raiders, no Geth, nothing that ever required his presence but it gave him something to do. Of course, it did mean having to put up with Joker and his often inane quips in regards to their mission. Shepard had initially threatened him with disciplinary action, but Joker continued either way. Shepard had found himself suddenly understanding Anderson's often exasperated tone when dealing with the pilot.

Joker was completely incorrigible.

But for the first few days that was what he had done, stood on the bridge and put up with Joker, until Pressly had convinced him that he could handle it himself. _And, he's right. The most eventful thing that's happened so far was the old Turian probe we encountered. Tali and Adams had a field day with that, even though they found nothing of use._

So, now Shepard just wandered the _Normandy_. It did, however, give him time to think.

The general consensus amongst the crew was that the Council was attempting to ignore Saren, to stick their heads in the sand. On one hand, Shepard couldn't blame them. He wasn't sure if a Spectre had betrayed the COuncil before in their entire history. On the other, he was incensed. Shepard knew his history. The Council had brought in the Krogan to stop the threat of the Rachni, then the Council had relied upon the Turian's use of the genophage to counter the Krogan. Was this the Council using Humanity against the Turians? Shepard couldn't be sure.

But it didn't paint the Council in a good light.

The Council had made him a Spectre for a reason that Shepard could not completely understand. There had to be other Spectres, more experienced Spectres, who could handle Saren. Instead, they elected Shepard. There had to be a reason there. A reason beyond the fact that he had found the evidence that proved Saren's treason.

After he checked the upper decks, he entered the elevator and rode it down to the lower decks. Shepard was the first Human Spectre. Shepard knew that this was no small responsibility. He was representing Humanity to, not only the Council, but also the dozens of other alien races amongst the Citadel races and beyond. To millions of sentient people he would represent Humanity in its entirety. _And, hell, if I fuck up there might not be any more Human Spectres, even if I stop Saren._

It was a lot to think about and a lot to consider.

It was a lot of weight on his shoulders.

The elevator stopped and Shepard stepped into the cargo bay, and into an argument.

"I was just saying, Wrex," Garrus was saying, quite firmly, as he stood by the Mako on one side of the bay, "that I really hope we get to see the Normandy in combat."

"And, like I said," growled Wrex from the other side of the bay, "Only an _idiot_ wishes for combat in a _stealth ship_!"

"The stealth drive adds a new tactical dimension to space combat! Surprise attacks, flanking maneuvers-" Garrus held up his taloned hands, counting off tactics.

"Vakarian, this isn't a strategy simulation. If those new tactics don't work, we're salvage. There's a reason why we stick with what works."

Ashley looked up from where she was checking the weapon stores, caught between two bickering aliens. "Could you two, please, just keep it down?"

Wrex grunted, "Not really." The Krogan turned his massive bulk so he overshadowed Ashley, "So, Williams, who do you think would win in a fight, you or Shepard?"

Ashley shook her head and sighed. She didn't look up from her tasks. "Wrex, I really don't care."

Wrex laughed, "And that's why he is your commanding officer. It's also why he would win." He turned to Garrus, "How about you, Turian?"

"Wrex, that question is rather impertinent. Commander Shepard is a Spectre with a distinguished service record. I would never have to fight him."

"So was Saren," countered Wrex, "Think about it."

Ashley took that moment to notice Shepard, she stood quickly and snapped a salute. "Commander on deck!"

Shepard returned it, "At ease, just making my rounds." He nodded to Wrex and Garrus, "Seems like you two are having a bit of a disagreement."

Wrex jerked a thumb in Garrus' direction, "Only because Vakarian here is unable to understand the idea of a stealth ship."

Garrus shook his head, manibles clicking in what Shepard guessed was frustration, "Wrex is incapable of understanding hypothetical situations."

"The _Normandy's_ a fine ship," Shepard said, "We've got top of the line weapons systems including GARDIAN point defense. However, we are a stealth ship, our biggest advantage is that we can't be seen. We get into a fight, we run for it, there's no vessel I know of that can keep pace with the _Normandy_. And if we can't run, then, well, we will just have to find out what the _Normandy_ can really do."

Garrus and Wrex were silent. "But-"

"And if you could refrain from harassing Chief Williams here, Wrex, I'd appreciate it."

Wrex shrugged after a moment, "I'll see what I can do."

Shepard was quite sure that was as good as he'd get from Wrex. "Good man, I need to be going." He paused when he reached the doorway, turned on his heel. "Oh, and if you have any other questions regarding the _Normandy_, Navigator Pressly would be more than happy to answer them." _That'll get him learning how to deal with them real quick._

Shepard could hear Wrex's laughter as he walked away, "No, Williams, he would definitely beat you in a fight."

The engine room was located quite close to the cargo bay. The colossal Tantalus Drive Core dominated the rear wall, humming and buzzing with energies beyond Shepard's comprehension. _Which is why I'm a marine and not an engineer..._ Adams and his small crew stood at various consoles performing various tasks, Tali was standing off to the side attending to her own duties. Shepard wondered if Adams had assigned them to her, or if the young Quarian was just making herself useful.

Adams looked up, "Oh, Commander, is there something I can do for you?"

"Not at the moment, Adams. Just checking on things."

"Well, everything here's fine, Commander."

And then Tali was standing right next to Shepard, and she was speaking incredibly fast: "I'm starting to understand why you humans have been so successful, Commander! I had no idea Alliance vessels were so advanced! I never dreamed I'd get a chance to travel on a ship as advanced as the _Normandy_! How did you manage to fit a drive core of _that_ size into a ship this small? It's amazing!"

Adams just laughed, "She's been wanting to tell you that for the past couple of days."

Shepard turned to face her, and all he could think of saying was: "I had no idea you found starships so interesting," It was always disconcerting how he couldn't make out her eyes behind that visor.

Tali shrugged, "It comes with being a Quarian. The Migrant Fleet is the key to survival for my people. Ships are our most valuable resource. We make do with cast-offs and second-hand equipment. As such, it is worth being able to patch together various pieces of equipment and shipboard systems. We have to make ourselves useful."

Shepard found himself wishing he knew Quarian history, so he could understand just what the Migrant fleet was. "Makes sense, seems like you'll be right at home in here."

Tali nodded, and then leaned in close. She whispered in a manner that Shepard assumed she thought was quite conspiratorially, "I was wondering if I could take a closer look."

"Did you ask Adams?" A quick glance, the chief engineer had returned to his duties.

"Yes," she said simply, "He said to ask you."

Shepard shrugged, "I don't really see the problem with it." He grinned, "Just don't tell Chief Williams, she'll get me court-martialled so fast..."

He wasn't sure if Tali would understand why not, mainly because he was still unable to read any sort of features beneath her helmet, but the Quarian just nodded. "But you're a Spectre," she said, quite seriously, "Your authority-"

"It's a joke, Tali," Adams explained, looking up for a moment, "She's right though, sir. I wasn't sure if it'd be acceptable."

Shepard shook his head, "She's a member of the crew now, treat her like one. She'll need to be acquainted with the systems of the _Normandy_ if she's going to assist your crew."

"Understood, sir." Adams nodded, and, once again, Shepard wasn't sure at all how Tali had reacted.

Shepard was just about to continue his rounds, but was completely unsure where he would wander to, when Joker's voice came over the intercom. "Commander, we've got something."

Shepard activated the link in his ear, hoping that they'd found something useful. Or that, at the very least, the something wasn't hostile. "What's the sit-rep, Joker?"

"Found something, sir," he repeated, "On the planet Therum. Prothean ruins and what appears to be a dig site. Shall I take us in?"

"Do it, and then inform the squad, Shepard out." Shepard cut the link and nodded to Tali, "Time to go exploring."


	14. Part III: Thesis, Ch II: Chthonic

**Chapter II - Chthonic**

On Therum, Shepard realised that there was a difference between thinking he knew how hot he thought fifty-nine degrees celcius was, and actually knowing how hot that temperature was. Navigator Pressly had told them it was a rocky world, that it was a barren world, that it was a world almost completely covered in molten lava.

And, yet, Shepard hadn't been completely prepared for it until the Mako had hit the ground.

"My people have been searching many generations for a world to call home," Tali said as Kaidan guided the Mako carefully past a pool of molten lava, "If we landed here, we'd... just keep searching."

Wrex chuckled, "Yeah, fifty degrees hotter and I might actually start to feel uncomfortable. How are you mammals doing, Shepard?"

The Mako was incredibly cramped, and that only made the temperature all the more unbearable, even in spite of the Mako's environmental systems. Kaidan was driving and Shepard was riding shotgun, this left Ashley in the back with Wrex, Garrus and Tali. Even with their helmets off - excepting Tali of course, and Shepard wondered how she was managing - the heat was almost claustrophobic.

"We're fine Wrex," answered Ashley for him, "We're just fine."

"Everyone, remember to stay hydrated," cautioned Garrus, who didn't seem to be taking the heat so badly.

Ashley muttered something under her breath. Shepard knew that she had been in a bad mood since the briefing.

It had started easily enough at first.

* * *

"At ease, team."

"The _Normandy_ will drop us here," Shepard tapped the map, "Just a few klicks from the dig site. Upon arrival we will investigate the site and locate and retrieve Doctor T'Soni. The _Normandy_ can then extract us."

"Enemy disposition?" asked Garrus whose sharp eyes never left the intelligence data.

"Unknown," admitted Shepard, "Preliminary surface scans indicate no hostiles but, considering these ruins appear to mostly be underground, we can't afford to take chances. As such, we will assemble with a full weapons load."

"Sounds good," muttered Wrex, "I've been itching for a fight."

"Which brings me to my last point. I'm splitting the squad into two man teams. Alpha Team will consist of myself and Tali. Beta Team, Ashley and Garrus. Gamma Team, Kaidan and Wrex."

There was silence before Ashley raised her hand, "Sir, may I ask why?"

Shepard nodded, "You may. We don't know how big of an area these ruins cover, nor do we know what we may encounter down there. We may need to split up. I checked your files, each of you is either capable of dealing with electronic security or is paired with someone who is. We don't know what we will find in those ruins. More importantly, we need to learn to work as a cohesive unit, regardless of pre-existing feelings. Do I make myself clear?"

There had been no objections.

* * *

Of course, Ashley wasn't the only one on the _Normandy_ who seemed to carry a grudge against the aliens for some reason, however, she was the only one on the team that held those views. Kaidan and Wrex would work together, Kaidan because he was ordered to and Wrex because, as Shepard gathered, the Krogan didn't really care. Shepard also knew that Tali, for her part, would also do whatever he told her. _As far as she's concerned, this is some sort of adventure..._

But Ashley and Garrus...

Garrus did not seem to have a problem with Ashley. He tolerated her remarks. For all his tightly wound love of duty and honor, however, Shepard knew that Garrus could be hotheaded. The last thing he wanted for for the two of them to come to blows.

No, he had made the right choice, the two of them had to learn to work together. Or, at the very least, Ashley had to learn to tolerate Garrus.

Joker's voice cut in over the communications network, "Commander, I'm picking up some strange readings."

"How strange, Joker?"

"Really strange. Like, off the damn charts strange. It looks like its coming from an underground complex a few klicks away from the drop site."

"Then we've got a beacon, thanks Joker. Kaidan, lock onto that signal."

"Aye, sir." replied Kaidan as he turned the Mako onto a new heading.

Shepard took in the location as they approached. A tunnel had been bored into the side of a mountain, obviously the excavation site. The landscape outside the excavation site was a maze of rocky outcroppings and pre-fab facilities. Shepard couldn't note anything that seemed hostile. The place looked deserted.

Luckily, there didn't seem to be any pools of molten lava.

"Helmets on," ordered Shepard as Kaidan brought the Mako to a stop, deciding to not take chances, "Disembark!"

Wrex was out first, followed by Garrus and Tali. Shepard and Ashley came next, followed by Kaidan. The Mako was silent. The six of them had their weapons up, ready for anything. Outside, the heat was much more oppressive and Shepard could feel each bead of sweat running down his forehead, pooling in the bottom of his helmet.

"Looks clear," remarked Garrus after a few moments.

"Confirm it,"

Tali was checking her omni-tool, "Negative, Commander. No contacts."

"Doesn't look like anybody's home," said Kaidan, "Maybe she's not here."

"Something has to be giving off that energy spike Joker detected," said Shepard, "I've got a hunch-"

The ground shook, cutting Shepard off, and something came into view from behind a set of mountains.

It reminded Shepard of one of the stinging insects from Mindoir, although on a much larger scale. Instead of wings, it hovered through the wonders of element zero. At this close range, Shepard could even make out what looked like six mechanical legs on its underside.

"Geth dropship!" remarked Tali, "We've got trouble!"

"Looks like a wasp," muttered Kaidan,

"Damnit!" hissed Ashley, "They had to be waiting for us!"

"Find cover!" barked Shepard, as the Geth dropship appeared to disintegrate in mid-air.

However, as the squad dove into the various elements of cover surrounding the camp, Shepard noted that the dropship wasn't disintegrating at all. The dozen or so spheroid objects that had hit the ground were unfolding themselves into Geth, grey and white armored ones. It was the largest spheroid that it had dropped that worried Shepard the most as it began to unfold and unpack. Amongst the others it was unique, and that was probably not a good sign.

"What've we got here, Tali?" asked Shepard, "Talk to me,"

"The grey-armored Geth are your basic Geth trooper," chirped Tali eagerly, semi-reflective visor almost blinded Shepard as she turned to face him, "The larger white-armored ones are shock troopers. They're only slightly different."

Shepard remembered the beating one had given him on Eden Prime, "How so?"

"They have under slung rocket launchers on their rifles, for one. And they're more armored and loaded with electronic countermeasures."

Kaidan waved a hand in the general vicinity of the large object, "And the big thing is?"

The 'big thing' as Kaidan had referred to it had unfolded into a sizable, four-legged construct. Its general build and shape reminded Shepard of a horse, albeit one with a much wider stance. Like all Geth, it had a singular, glowing and unblinking eye. Something that Shepard assumed was a weapon began to crackle and spark beneath the construct's head.

"That," said Tali, "is a Geth Armature."

Wrex grunted, "Bigger they are, the harder they fall."

"Tali," Shepard pointed to the door that led into the mountain, "get that door open!"

"On it!" The Quarian sprinted from her cover, ducking and weaving with astounding agility.

"Garrus, cover her! Everyone else, fire at will!"

The armature was trying to interpose itself between Shepard's squad and the door, but Tali was faster. Shepard watched in disbelief as the Quarian slid under and through the armature's four legs, picked herself up, and continued to run. The armature turned to track her, but a few shots from Garrus' sniper rifle caused it to turn its attention back towards the squad.

Wrex's shotgun blasted the torso of a grey-armored Geth trooper into scrap, "That's one!"

"You're keeping score?" yelled Garrus, shifting his aim onto a Geth trooper taking aim at Tali. He fired.

Wrex nodded, and leapt from cover, almost crushing a Geth trooper under his weight. The Geth fell back, and Wrex crushed its cranial case under his boot. "That makes two, Turian."

"Shut the hell up and shoot!" yelled Ashley.

Shepard had to agree.

The squad had already put down four of the Geth, all of them basic troopers.

"Williams!" barked Shepard, "Focus fire on the lead shock trooper!" Ashley and Shepard swung out, assault rifles chattering. The shock trooper turned, kinetic barriers glowing blue from the multiple impacts, before the combined fire riddled its chassis with holes. It fell to one knee, attempted to raise its weapon, before Garrus blew its head into a hundred different pieces.

Something hit Shepard's side, his arm and shoulder spasmed and he ducked for cover, "Lost shields!" He knew his armor's systems would already be automatically sealing and pumping the wounded area full of medi-gel, but he couldn't resist a quick glance at the damage. The shot had taken him in the side, right where the hard ceramic plating of his combat armor met the softer flexible underlay, and seared right through it. It hadn't been a bullet, that was for sure.

Stung like hell, too.

Shepard peeked out, took note of one of the white-armored Geth, and hurled a grenade in its direction. "Fire in the hole!" The shock trooper turned to evade, but the grenade's proximity fuse triggered and blasted the synthetic's legs into so much scrap. And then Wrex was there, and his great feet crushed its head. "Four," he muttered.

"Tali, how's that door coming?" asked Shepard as Kaidan sent a Geth into the Armature. It shuddered under the impact, but didn't even fall. It fired a crackling orb of energy, but Kaidan was already moving. Good thing too, Shepard noted, as the rock was completely charred when the haze cleared.

"Almost there, Commander! Just a few more seconds!"

Shepard sprayed another Geth with assault rifle fire and glanced at its indicators. They were red. Red meant overheating. "We might not have a few more seconds!"

"Got it!" called the Quarian, "I'm inside."

Before Shepard could reply, the ground rumbled. And something was screaming in the back of Shepard's mind. But this wasn't the insistent buzzing of the Prothean beacon, it was something much more human, and something that wrapped itself around the primitive part of Shepard's brain that controlled fear. For a few moments, everything went silent.

He'd felt this before.

"Everyone inside, _now_!" roared Shepard, as the ground under the Geth Armature erupted.

All Shepard could hear was the screeching that occupied his nightmares, and all he could feel was the fear that accompanied them. Only, now, the chthonic creature from his nightmares had somehow arisen in the flesh. It resembled a squid, an insect, a nightmare creature, all tentacles and spikes. Its fanged maw, dripping with acids and poisons that could kill a man in seconds, swept down and swallowed the Geth Armature whole.

Wrex roared the creature's name, "Thresher maw!"

Everyone was moving inside, except Shepard. He stood, transfixed to the ground. A creature just like this, no - this creature, this one specifically - had wiped out his entire unit at Akuze, and now it had finally caught up with him intent on finishing the job. A tiny part of Shepard's mind was yelling that the thresher maw could be found on any number of planets, that this was just terrible luck, that as a non-sapient creature it could not have followed him.

And, yet, that's what Shepard believed.

"Commander Shepard!" yelled Tali, but she sounded so far away.

The thresher maw screeched again, and brought a pair of wicked scythe-like talons down on a Geth trooper, splitting it completely down the middle. Its baleful glowing eyes fixed on Shepard.

Several thudding steps and something huge wrapped itself around Shepard's abdomen, hauling him off his feet, crushing the air out of his lungs. "Damn, Shepard, you picked the perfect time to start screwing around!" muttered Wrex. Shepard's brain felt itself slowly returning to normality, just in time to note that Kaidan had deflected a volley of the thresher maw's acid with a well timed biotic push.

"Come on, Wrex!" yelled Ashley. She and Garrus were plinking away at the thresher maw with their sniper rifles. It was only when Garrus fired, and blasted away one of the monstrosity's oddly hypnotic glowing eyes, sending the creature howling, that it seemed they could actually hurt it.

"It's going to take another shot!" warned Garrus, "Kaidan!"

"I can't!" replied Kaidan, pale and trembling.

Wrex was almost to the door now, but the thresher maw was faster. Something hot splashed onto Wrex's back, bypassing the shields. Shepard felt Wrex grunt, but the Krogan didn't stop moving. Wrex passed through the threshold, his back hissing and popping grotesquely, and threw Shepard.

As Wrex threw Shepard to the ground, Tali's fingers slipped across the access panel. The heavy doors slammed closed, leaving the squad trapped in reassuring darkness.

"Wrex," gasped out Shepard, his lungs still trying to take in the air that Wrex had crushed out of them.

"Shepard," was the Krogan's simple response.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** _Fuck it. Not getting this part up is hindering the entire story. It's not great, but I don't think I'll ever be happy with it. Originally there was going to be more talking in the Mako, but I wasn't happy with it and scrapped it. Sorry about the delay everyone, life got incredibly hectic which I think impacted heavily upon this chapter. Still, I decided to just go with it in order to keep the story moving. If the feedback is negative I will come back and alter it, but it was causing the entire story to stagnate. I'd love some reviews (not just of this chapter, of course)._


	15. Part III: Thesis, Ch III: The Rock

**Chapter III - The Rock**

In the darkness, they came to a three-way intersection.

The consensus was to split up.

Ashley and Garrus went left, Kaidan and Wrex had gone right. This left Shepard and Tali to continue forwards.

As the Quarian and Human started down their path into the heart of the mountain, they could still hear Kaidan's faint voice, asking Wrex if he wanted medical treatment for his back. By the tone of the Krogan's voice, Shepard was fairly sure Wrex preferred to manage without aid. It didn't surprise Shepard. And even though Garrus was attempting small talk with Ashley, the human was only giving cursory curt responses - if anything at all.

That didn't surprise him either.

Shepard didn't say anything, and just stepped further into the darkness. The tunnel was illuminated only by the light of Shepard's helmet lamp. At first there had been lights strung and mounted to illuminate the passages, but now it seemed as if they had failed.

Or been removed.

"Commander Shepard," asked Tali after some time of silence in the darkness, "What happened outside?" A small light that Shepard hadn't really noticed on her helmet cast strange shadows onto the walls. It seemed to flash in time with her words.

At first Shepard debated even replying. What was the point? It was the past. Their mission was to find Liara T'Soni, not to have a heart to heart conversation with a Quarian he barely knew. But, still... "Back before I was assigned to the Normandy, I'd been sent to check on an abandoned colony with a unit of marines. We stumbled onto a whole nest of those things. Wiped out my entire unit." His tone was clipped, deliberate.

"Oh," said Tali, and despite her invisible face, Shepard knew that she realised she had stumbled upon a private topic. "I'm sorry, Commander Shepard. I shouldn't have asked."

_No_, Shepard thought darkly, and it surprised him. _No, you shouldn't have. And it shouldn't have frozen me up. Shouldn't have almost gotten me killed. I should have dealt with this a long time ago._

They continued, deeper in the earth. Shepard's brooding thoughts made the darkness of the tunnel seem all the more oppressive. As if he and Tali were the only ones in this place, and this place was the only place in the world. He kept expecting to lead Tali into a nest of Thresher Maws. "You don't need to call me Commander Shepard," he replied after a minute or two, "You don't fall into my command structure."

Tali shrugged, an oddly human gesture, "I know. But I think it has a nice ring to it."

In spite of his brooding, Shepard grinned slightly beneath his helmet. "I suppose it does."

They came to an intersection. Their scanners weren't able to get a fix on the location of the energy source and there was nothing to indicate that either passage led to their target.

"Two of us, two possibilities. Do we split up?" Tali asked.

Shepard shook his head, an image of Tali being devoured by a Thresher Maw coming unbidden to his mind. "We're not splitting up. We don't know what's down here, and we can double back if we need to. Besides, I'll need your technical mastery to help me with anything we might find." Shepard caught himself as he said that, and frowned, glad that Tali was standing behind him.

He said things like that all the time, because making people feel special makes them like you and that makes them useful. Except - and he realised what was bothering him - he _had_ meant it.

They went left. Tali didn't seem to catch Shepard's inner turmoil, "Thank you, Commander."

"An old friend once told me that going left in a maze is the right choice," said Shepard as they walked, mainly to deflect the awkward feeling Shepard now felt. "His name was Kahoku, he taught me a lot." He let the second half of that sentence - _and probably saved my life_ - remain in the silence.

They continued further, the ground's downward slope slowly becoming more even. The uneven rock slowly gave way to even stone, the walls of the cave looking more carved and less natural. There were no large rocks, no fragments littering the ground. The roof was even, no uneven rocks to risk hitting themselves on. Shepard realised that they had to be getting close.

"I've got a clear reading on the energy source," chirped Tali excitedly, raising her arm and omni-tool to show Shepard. "It's just ahead!"

"I see a light," nodded Shepard. As they walked, the tunnel opened up into a large cavern that seemed to be intricately artificed from white stone. It had to be the Prothean ruins because Shepard had never seen anything like it. He deactivated his helmet light, the Prothean structures were providing all the light he needed.

"This looks like the place," he said, "We'll hold position here." Shepard raised a hand to his ear, "Beta team, report." He waited, the communications net silent. "Gamma team, report." No response. They had to have drifted away from each other through the tunnels, or perhaps it was an aspect of Prothean construction, or some weird metals in the rock. At least, that's what Shepard hoped. He didn't want to consider the alternatives.

Tali perched atop a pillar that had fallen onto its side. "Interesting design aesthetic," she said, "Very... sterile. Reminds me of home."

"Home?" asked Shepard, sweeping his arms to take in the entire Prothean ruins, "Like this? It's so..." He wouldn't want to call anyone's home sterile, it didn't sound like a word anyone would use to describe a home, a place where people lived.

Tali nodded, "Like I said, sterile. Generations of living in an isolated and highly controlled environment have left our immune systems weaker than most." She tapped the side of her helmet for emphasis.

That rocked Shepard's mind. "You've lived on those ships for your entire life?" Growing up on Mindoir, Shepard couldn't imagine not feeling the wind or rain on his skin or the grass beneath his feet. Shepard couldn't understand it, couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of being so cut off from the world and everything in it.

"I did. And so did my parents, and their parents before them. It comes with being a Quarian," she replied, like it was one of the immutable laws of the universe. Objects fall towards a gravity well, suns rise and set, and Quarians wear environment suits.

Shepard went to speak, but Kaidan's voice cut in on the communications network. "Alenko to Shepard, do you read me?" It faded in and out of coherence.

"Not very well, Alenko. What's the situation?"

"Dead-end, sir. Wrex and I are doubling back to the entrance."

"Proceed down the middle passage. We've located the ruins. And try and contact Williams and Vakarian, our communications equipment isn't functioning at its best in these tunnels."

"Will do, Commander. Alenko out."

Tali was looking at Shepard, she asked quizzically: "Where did _you_ grow up, Commander Shepard?"

"Mindoir," he replied, "It's a farming colony in the Attican Traverse..." Shepard had no idea if it still was a colony, farming or otherwise. He hadn't even gone back there since the day he left. The past was the past. Long and stressful days, but perfect nights. Shepard shut his eyes behind his helmet, crushed the images from his mind. No, Mindoir wasn't home. Not anymore. Not when everything that Shepard had known had been scourged away in just a few short hours.

"Shepard?" Tali asked,

"I'm sorry, Tali. I don't want to talk about it. It was a long time ago. The _Normandy's_ my home now." Something about that sentence filled him with sadness.

The Quarian looked away, again seeming to realize that her questions had perhaps been impertinent.

"My parents were farmers," he offered after a few moments.

Tali looked back at him, "My father is the head of the Admiralty Board. The highest authority of my people."

"And your mother?" Shepard asked,

"She died five years ago. An airborne virus. It's why we keep the flotilla so sterile, but these things happen."

Shepard nodded slowly, surprised by how straightforward Tali had put it. Mindoir felt like a dagger in his ribs, and to think about it made it real. "I lost my parents when I was sixteen. Batarian slavers." He'd said it before he realised what he was saying.

He couldn't read Tali's response behind her mask. Was she shocked? "Keelah... I'm sorry, Shepard." A pause, "I was just curious..." she said quietly, as if she was trying to explain or dull the pain.

Shepard didn't say anything in response. Tali made herself busy with her omni-tool, but Shepard doubted she was actually doing anything. Just trying to avoid any more questions. She would have found out eventually, but Shepard found himself wishing that she hadn't asked that here, while they were on a mission, while he needed his wits about him. Shepard still didn't say anything until Kaidan and Wrex emerged from the tunnel, followed by Ashley and Garrus.

"Did you find anything?" Shepard asked,

"Yeah," said Garrus, "This," and he threw a small object to Shepard. It was grey, shiny, obviously artificial. Shepard couldn't recognise it, but he wasn't an engineer. "I scanned it," Garrus was continuing, "And it's not a bomb or a weapon."

"Tali, do you recognise this?" Shepard turned to the Quarian, holding the object out to her.

"It's Geth," she said instantly.

"Great," muttered Ashley, "That's all we found, though."

"We didn't see any Geth, in pieces or otherwise," rumbled Wrex.

"Meaning they could be deeper into the ruins," Garrus theorised, his arms crossed, face deep in thought.

"Thanks for that outstanding display of brilliance, Vakarian," snorted Wrex.

"Maybe they got eaten by a Thresher Maw." Kaidan offered, trying to quell another argument between Wrex and Garrus. Shepard noted Tali's head whipping to stare at Kaidan, and Kaidan's own realisation of what he had said. His mouth dropped. "Sorry, Commander! I just-" Ashley nudged him in the ribs, hard.

Shepard mentally shrugged, let the comment slide off his back, and indicated the Prothean ruins, "Let's go find an Asari."


	16. Part III: Thesis, Ch IV Calculated Error

**Chapter IV - Calculated Error**

The white and sterile Prothean ruins were larger than Shepard had expected.

Much larger.

Judging by the crates, machinery and copious amounts of detritus scattered around the complex, someone had been definitely digging around in these ruins. However, there wasn't any indication as to who had been doing the digging.

_Was it our side? Or the Geth?_ Shepard wondered as the squad moved deeper.

By now, the stinging sensation of the wound inflicted upon him by Geth weaponry had become a dull ache, but it was an ache that Shepard was all too aware of. Kaidan had offered medical assistance, but Shepard had waved him away, knowing that the suit's medi-gel would keep the wound from worsening.

Still, there had been no sign of Liara T'Soni, or anyone else in the ruins apart from Shepard's squad.

"I wonder if the Protheans lived underground," said Ashley, as the squad rounded another corner into a corridor that seemed identical to the one they had just been in.

"They might've, Chief," replied Kaidan as he shined a light down a side corridor, finding nothing.

"I'm not so sure," said Tali from beside Shepard, "Maybe this was some sort of research lab. Or a mine."

Wrex grunted, shook his massive head, "Doesn't look like any mine I've ever seen."

"Any stories, Wrex?" Kaidan asked, "Just while we walk?"

The Krogan shrugged, "A few," and left it at that.

Tali led them to the power source that had drawn them to the ruins in the first place. It was a glowing barrier, some kind of force field evidently, and behind it, trapped inside a room with the same barren Prothean aesthetic, was a young female Asari. Shepard guessed that she was Liara T'Soni. The Asari took a step back as Shepard and his team stepped closer, in spite of the barrier between them.

"Hello?" Shepard called out, "Can you hear me?"

The trapped Asari nodded quickly and earnestly, "Yes! My name's Doctor Liara T'Soni, I'm an archaeologist. This thing is a Prothean security device. I need you to get me out of it!"

Wrex shrugged his massive shoulders, "Alright."

"Wrex, wait!" called Shepard, "Don't-"

The Krogan reached out, and placed his gauntleted hand onto the barrier. There was a sharp crack and he suddenly crumpled, like a puppet with his strings cut.

"Kaidan! Medic!"

As Kaidan dropped down to check Wrex's vitals, the Krogan had already seemed to regain consciousness. Perhaps he had never lost it. There was a long deep groan as Wrex rolled himself over onto his front, and pushed himself onto to his knees.

"It's a Prothean barrier curtain," said Liara quickly, "I knew it would keep me safe from the Geth. But... when I turned it on, I must've hit something I wasn't supposed to. I'm trapped. You must get me out, please!"

"How?" remarked Garrus, "If this really is a security mechanism there is no way we could disable it from the outside."

Wrex had pushed himself to a kneeling position and shook his head back and forth, "That's quite the rush. You should try it Vakarian, might loosen you up a little."

"There has to be a way inside," said Shepard, "Maybe we can find a generator, or something. We'll double back to the equipment we passed. There might be something we can use."

There was, and it was large but Shepard guessed it would be portable with a few people carrying it. It looked vaguely like some sort of weapon. "Anyone recognize what this is?" Shepard asked as he turned to face his squad.

The team shook their heads, except for a certain Quarian.

"A mining laser," chirped Tali as she stepped up to examine the machine, "Vaguely similar to the ones we have on the Flotilla." A pause, the Quarian tilted her head. "Actually, I think we have one just like it."

Shepard looked at it, feeling slightly puzzled. Something about this scene didn't make sense, and it nagged at him.

"It looks like they disassembled it," he said, absentmindedly nudging a spool of cables with his foot. Various other components lay around the mining laser's central chassis.

Tali nodded as Shepard continued, "Which doesn't make any sense. The laser was moved here, looks like for storage."

"Maybe they had to leave quickly."

Shepard shook his head, that hypothesis didn't make sense. "No, they obviously had time to dismantle it for transport, even if whoever did so isn't around now." He sighed mentally, pushed his anxious thoughts from his mind. The mission had been long and he was worrying over nothing. "Well, we can't use their door, so we have to make our own." Shepard said, nodding, "Tali, think you can get it running?"

She nodded, and instantly set to work.

"Commander, is this wise?" Kaidan asked as Tali began attaching wires, opening panels and laying out the innards of the machine.

"There's no other way in," Shepard replied, "And we can't afford to waste time trying to disable the power grid, if we are even able to. Alenko, Vakarian, you've both got experience with electronics, give her a hand."

The Turian and Human went to work, readying the mining laser, with only the occasional exasperated, almost frustrated, sigh from Tali.

In the end, Shepard expected the assembly of the mining laser to take longer. With Wrex's considerable strength, Tali had placed the now-operational mining laser on a vector that she assured the squad would almost-certainly miss Liara.

"It better," muttered Ashley, "I did not come to this planet to go home empty handed."

"You didn't appreciate the scenic view?" smirked Kaidan from behind his helmet.

"One more word out of you, LT... I swear I'll-"

"Not to interrupt," interrupted Garrus, "But the mining laser is charging for a shot."

"Fire in the hole!" barked Shepard as he and his squad took cover.

The focusing lens on the mining laser began to glow with incandescent energies, charge building to a high-pitched whine that felt like it would shatter Shepard's teeth. A lance of brilliant orange light flared into existence, and blasted an entire section of Prothean ruins away. Rocks and bits of debris fell to the ground around the team, and dust obscured Shepard's vision.

"Impressive," muttered Wrex.

When the dust cleared, Shepard led his team into the breach.

"What happened out there?!" gasped Liara, as Shepard and his squad stepped through the broken and shattered wall and into the alcove where Liara had been trapped.

"Blasted our way in with a mining laser," Shepard explained, "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes," Liara stammered after a moment, "Of course, that... makes sense."

"Good, then fall in."

As soon as Shepard said that, Ashley stepped forward. Her voice was like ice, her eyes focused intently on Liara. "Hold on, Commander. Her mother's working for Saren. Can we trust her?"

"She's got a point," Wrex rumbled. "For once."

"We still have not seen any Geth in here," said Tali, "Surely she would have bodyguards."

"I don't know," Shepard admitted to Ashley, "But I'm taking the chance." And hoping I'm not wrong, "Let's get moving, just in case the Geth do show up. We'll go out through the tunnels."

And it was at that moment that the ruins abruptly shook violently, dust falling from the ceiling to rest on Shepard and his squad.

"I don't like the sound of that," said Garrus warily, after a few moments, almost as if he thought his words would bring more quakes on.

"I should have said something earlier!" Liara gasped, "These ruins... they're not stable! That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event!"

_Which would explain why the excavation team had dismantled it!_ "Aw, _hell!_" snarled Shepard, already activating his helmet's communication systems, hoping like hell that he would get through to the _Normandy_. "Joker! Get the _Normandy_ airborne and lock on my signal, now! We need immediate evac!" In the background, he was sure Ashley was firing off a string of expletives.

"Aye, Commander," Joker replied, sounding far too calm. "ETA is eight minutes."

"Squad, Doctor T'Soni, fall in behind me! Let's move!"

They moved. The shot they had taken with the mining laser had evidently caused something of a chain reaction, Shepard realised as the squad raced back towards the tunnels. The Prothean ruins were shuddering, the ground shifting beneath them, and in some places it was cracking open.

And something was coming up through the cracks.

Something that was glowing red hot.

The whole place was going to go up, Shepard realised, and it was probably going to be sooner rather than later. Crushed under an avalanche of rock while melting in an ocean of magma was not how Shepard wanted to die.

It quickened his steps.

"Nice shot with the mining laser, by the way!" called Ashley at one point.

"It seemed like the right thing to do at the time!" retorted Shepard, as he cleared a toppled pillar.

They made it to the tunnels without incident, although it now felt as if the ground was constantly vibrating beneath them. The tunnel stretched up towards the surface, and even at this range Shepard thought he could see the glow of Therum's sky.

It turned out to be something else entirely.

As the squad approached the surface, a pair of flashlights turned on and began to move. Shepard recognized the sounds instantly. Geth.

And they had a Krogan with them.

The Krogan was wearing a suit of armor that reminded Shepard of Geth technology, and he held a rifle that resembled Geth manufacture. Even if the Krogan didn't have a pair of Geth shock troopers flanking him, Shepard would have assumed he was working for Saren. The tunnel was barely wide enough for four people, and the Krogan and Geth had formed a formidable barrier with their bodies.

"Surrender," growled the Krogan, before he added: "Or don't. That would be more fun."

"You want to fight when this whole place is falling down around our heads?!" As if to emphasis Shepard's point, something rumbled in the distance behind the squad.

"I know, exhilarating, isn't it?" the Krogan smiled, revealing his sharp, savage teeth. He indicated Liara, who shrank back behind the rest of the squad. "Leave the Asari, kill the rest."

Ashley just muttered, "Fuck this," and Shepard was inclined to agree. He and Ashley had taken the lead in the flight to the surface, and as Ashley hammered down the trigger on her assault rifle, Shepard did the same.

The pair of assault rifles firing dozens of hypervelocity rounds put one of the Geth down instantly, but the Krogan and second Geth had evidently decided to force the issue and engage the squad in close quarters hand to hand combat.

Something shoved Shepard to the side, throwing off his aim, and the enemy Krogan ran straight intoa charging Wrex.

Roaring incoherently, Wrex brought his fists down on the other Krogan, hard. Wrex shoved his opponent back with the use of his shoulder and his momentum, suddenly giving the rest of the squad a considerable amount of breathing space.

The second Geth hit Garrus with a backhand blow, knocking him against the cavern wall, it turned on Ashley and knocked her away with the stock of its assault rifle. It seemed to be heading directly for Tali.

Tali, for her part, stood her ground and fired her pistol, but the shock trooper strode implacably onwards. It had picked the Quarian out of the crowd, and even when Kaidan tried to tackle it and force it to the ground, the synthetic shoved the biotic back from a powerful, yet almost uncaring, blow. If Shepard fired from here, he'd risk hitting Tali.

No, Tali had to deal with the Geth, a Geth similar to the one that had almost killed Shepard on Eden Prime. Shepard didn't like her chances.

That was until Tali pulled a knife on the Geth and embedded it deeply into the synthetic's cranial case.

The Geth's sole ocular sensor flickered, and Tali's strike had evidently disrupted something. Its next step was halting and uneven, and Garrus took the opportunity to blow the Geth's torso to pieces with a point-blank shot from his sniper rifle. The sound was deafening and disorientating in the darkness, even with the compensating equipment in Shepard's helmet.

Meanwhile, Wrex and the hostile Krogan continued to duel. Wrex wrapped his hands around a part of the other Krogan's heavy battle armor and pulled, tearing a sizable chunk away from the rest with a squeal of tortured metal. The other Krogan roared and hammered its limbs against Wrex's helmet, succeeding in denting it and driving Wrex back. The Krogan pulled a heavy-looking pistol and squeezed off a volley of shots, leaving Wrex's thick Krogan blood to splatter against the rocks.

If this kept up, Shepard knew that Wrex would fall - and then Saren's Krogan would kill the rest of them.

The Krogan took a step toward Wrex, who was slumped against the wall, and stopped.

It took Shepard a moment to realize that the Krogan had not stopped, but he was slowing, like he was struggling to move his muscles, almost as if he was trying to push his way through a strong current. The Krogan's yellow reptilian eyes flickered over the squad, and Shepard followed the Krogan's gaze with his own.

Liara.

The Asari's blue hands were rippling with the distortion effect that Shepard had since come to identify with the use of biotic abilities. Her face was a mask of intense concentration and, what Shepard was quite sure was rage.

The pistol crumpled like tinfoil in the Krogan's hand, and then the entire bulk of the massive alien began to shake rather violently.

"Doctor T'Soni?" asked Shepard, and received no response. "Liara?!"

The entire squad could only watch as the Krogan's body was suddenly crushed as if in the largest vice grip in the galaxy. The Krogan's mouth opened as if to say something before his limbs contorted grotesquely, his bones shattered and broke, his armor crumpled, and gore sprayed in wide arcs. The horror lasted only a few seconds, but the images would linger in the minds of the squad for some time.

Then, the only sound was of Liara's hyperventilating gasping breaths.

"Holy Christ..." whispered Ashley beside Shepard.

The rock that bounced off Shepard's helmet and sent his ears ringing prompted him into action. "Move!" he yelled, "This whole place is going to come down on us at any second! Go!"

Wrex was already moving, probably purely on adrenaline, and if there were anymore hostiles in the tunnel Shepard believed Wrex would go right through them. Tali went next, taking care to pull her knife from the Geth's head, followed by Garrus.

Shepard glanced to Liara, grabbed her arm and yanked hard. She stumbled, as if coming out of a stupor, and quickly found her feet as the remaining members of Shepard's squad began racing for the tunnel entrance.

And then they were outside, beneath Therum's scorching sun and choking atmosphere. Shepard kept running, knowing he needed to gain more distance.

Ashley caught up to him and threw him to the ground.

Shepard's response was drowned out as the world exploded behind him.

An entire side of the mountain collapsed in on itself and slid down into an ocean of magma, the entire mountain rippling from the explosion. A blistering wave of heat rushed over Shepard and his squad, before dousing them in pebbles, rocks and assorted debris. Shepard held onto what little stable ground he could find with his hands, and prayed that something wouldn't crush him.

Eventually, it subsided, and as Shepard pulled himself to his feet - his armor scorched in places, dented in others - he realised that, if he had been standing, he would have been blown away in the blast.

"Thanks," he said to Ashley, and the word sounded strange and awkward.

Ashley shrugged as she brushed some ash from the visor of her helmet, "Seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

There was silence until the rumbling finally died away. "I suppose we're even now?"

Ashley nodded, "I suppose we are at that, skipper."

* * *

Okay, wow, soooo many things kept me from finishing this. I ran into a slump in parts of it, and life's just generally been hectic. Exams, girls, etc. you all know how it is, yeah? And thanks for any reviews, they usually get me writing whenever I get the notification in my inbox! I'm wondering if people are missing out on this story since M rated stories have to be selected for and if I should change the rating (Honestly, there's not much M rated stuff in this yet...) I just see some stories getting ten reviews the day they go up, and I've just managed eleven.

I don't really like long 'author's notes' like this, so I'll cut it short. Any comments, questions, suggestions, drop me a review or something.


	17. Part III: Thesis, Ch V: Say Nothing

**Chapter V - Say Nothing**

The squad had gathered in the _Normandy's_ communication-turned-briefing room soon after they had got on board.

And Joker had been tongue-lashing them the entire time, "That was way too close, Commander! I think I should inform you that the _Normandy_ isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes! They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull! Just, y'know, for future reference!"

"Noted, Joker," replied Shepard for what felt like the hundredth time, "Get us in range of the nearest communications array and get us a secure line with the Council."

"Yes, sir. Oh, and another thing, I prefer gold to silver. Just, y'know, for my medal. I figure you'll recommend me for one since I pulled your boots outta the fire."

The intercom clicked off. Liara, the Asari, looked over to Shepard from her seat. "We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes?" she asked incredulously.

Shepard sighed and tried to rub away a headache he knew was coming. "Sometimes he's a bit of an ass. Just... try to ignore him."

"I see..." said Liara after a moment, "It must be a human thing."

Ashley snorted, "Yeah. Must be. We only almost died, what, half a dozen times down there?"

Liara held up her arms, as if to ward off a blow from Ashley even though she was halfway across the room. "I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, Ms. Williams."

Ashley opened her mouth as if to say something, but was interrupted.

"Enough," said Shepard, now trying to deal with both a slowly encroaching headache and a stressed crew. "Doctor T'Soni, I think it's in all of our interests if I make this quick. I'm a Spectre, hunting a Turian named Saren."

"Saren Arterius? That Saren?"

"The same." Shepard nodded, "What do you know about something called the Conduit? Saren's looking for it."

"Only that it was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction," Liara replied with no small amount of pride. "That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years of my life trying to figure out what happened to them."

"Well, I might be able to help you with that-"

"With all due respect, Commander, I have heard every theory out there. The problem is finding evidence to support them. The Protheans left remarkably little behind. It is almost as if someone did not want the mystery to be solved." She paused, but continued excitedly, perhaps eager to share her findings. "But here is the incredible part! According to my findings, the Protheans were not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. The cycle began long before then!"

"Excuse me?" asked Garrus, "That sounds rather... unbelievable."

"The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction," Liara explained, "Each time a great civilization rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins survive. The Protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy. Yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. I believe that their greatest achievements - the Mass Relays and the Citadel - are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all other forgotten civilization throughout galactic history, the Protheans disappeared. I have dedicated my life to figuring out why."

Shepard nodded as he listened, "And if I said I knew why, would you believe me?

"With all due respect, Commander, like I said, I've heard every theory there is to know."

Shepard was unperturbed, and said the words he wasn't quite sure he believed, the back of his mind buzzing insistently. "The Protheans were wiped out by a race of machines known as the Reapers."

"How do you know?" asked Liara, slowly and carefully at first, before she almost demanded: "What evidence do you have?"

"Not much," Shepard admitted with a shrug, "A Prothean beacon put something in my head. It's all... fragmented."

"A beacon?" Liara said, nodding mostly to herself. "That makes sense... but it's not designed to interact with human physiology! I am surprised you are able to make sense of it at all."

Shepard shook his head, "I can't, not really. It's all nonsense."

"Well, either way," Liara continued, "I am... amazed. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed in the process..." Her voice went quiet and Shepard had to strain - not easy given his fatigue - to make it out at all. "You must be remarkably strong willed, Commander."

"Okay," snapped Ashley hotly, "This isn't helping us find Saren, or the Conduit!"

"I am sorry!" Liara replied, "My scientific curiosity got the better of me!"

"I suppose that's one way to put it," grinned Wrex, his muscular body almost completely wedged and jammed into one of the _Normandy's_ seats. The Alliance had never seemed to consider the possibility that a Krogan would be seated in one of them, forever marking the chair as Wrex's personal throne.

The Asari ignored the hulking Krogan's comment, returned to the task at hand. "Unfortunately, I do not have any tangible information about Saren... or the Conduit."

"Well, great!" Ashley sighed and put her head in her hands, groaning in frustration.

"We're all tired and stressed. Doctor, Saren's not going to stop hunting you. We can drop you off at the Citadel, you will be safe there."

From the seat that seem way too small for him, Wrex grunted, "Or, we could take her with us, Shepard."

Shepard immediately knew what Wrex was hinting at. Liara had crushed Saren's Krogan with apparent ease. Someone like that would be invaluable on the battlefield.

"Or you can remain with us," Shepard continued without missing a beat, "Your knowledge of the Protheans might be useful."

"And your biotics," nodded Wrex.

"Wrex!"

The Krogan shrugged, "I'm just saying what we are all thinking, Shepard." He snorted, "As always."

Liara suddenly rubbing her eyes with her fingers and Kaidan's "Are you alright?" brought Shepard and Wrex away from an argument.

"When was the last time you ate?" asked Kaidan as he stood to his feet, medical training coming to the fore. "Or slept? Doctor Chakwas should take a look at you."

"It's probably just fatigue," Liara replied, "The last few hours have been rather exhausting."

Wrex chuckled, and the gravelly noise was not reassuring. "Yeah, I don't doubt that."

"And that makes five out of eight," muttered Ashley, "And everyone just falls over themselves to help her."

Shepard eyed Ashley, and decided he should cut the debriefing rather than risk a scene. "Then I suppose we're done here. Alenko, get up to the bridge and tell Joker to set course for the Citadel."

Kaidan nodded, "Yes, sir. I'll just take Doctor T'Soni to the medical bay on my way."

As if on cue, Joker's voice came through the intercom. "We've got the Council on the line. Want me to patch you through?"

Shepard turned his attention to the hologram projectors on the other side of the room. "Do it."

As the squad members made their way out of the communications room, the three Citadel council members faded into view, bathed in orange light.

"Greetings, Commander," began the Asari councilor, "What is your status?"

"We located Doctor T'Soni a few hours ago and brought her aboard the _Normandy_ a short time after." Shepard reported. And now it was time to face the music, "Unfortunately, the mountain erupted. It was already unstable, and we triggered a seismic event during the mission. Everything there was completely destroyed."

The Turian councilor's mandibles twitched before he growled, "And I assume that you are taking all the necessary security precautions?"

"I know what you are implying, but I'm not sure if that's completely necessary. I will watch her," said Shepard, "but Saren's men were trying to capture her."

"Matriarch Benezia would _never_ allow Saren to harm her daughter!" snapped the Asari rather vehemently.

"Maybe she doesn't know," offered the Salarian with a small shrug.

"Or, maybe, we don't know her," growled the Turian, sparing a glance at the Salarian councilor for a few moments. He raised a taloned finger. "We never expected a Matriarch to become a traitor."

The Salarian shrugged again, "At least the mission was a success."

"Yes..." said the Turian slowly, and his image turned to face Shepard. "Excepting the destruction of a major Prothean ruin. Was that _really_ necessary, Shepard?"

"There was no other choice," replied Shepard firmly, ignoring the Turian's bait. "There was simply no time to find an alternative route."

"Did you even _try_ to, Shepard? _That_ is what I'm wondering."

The Salarian's large eyes seemed to widen, interjecting before Shepard could. "The mission must _always_ take priority, Councilor. Shepard did what he felt was necessary and the mission was completed successfully. Although... bringing Doctor T'Soni in for a debriefing would perhaps be wise."

The Turian looked as if he was going to say something, but thought better of it.

"Indeed," said the Asari, "Good luck, Commander. We're all counting on you."

As Shepard watched their holograms fade away, he realised his side still ached. Picking up his helmet and holding it under his arm, he decided to head to the medical bay.

* * *

As Shepard walked the halls of the _Normandy_, he thought.

Why had Matriarch Benezia sided with Saren? Shepard knew that Saren was Spectre, and that the Turian would have all the influence and powers that came with it... but that did not add up. It was possible that Saren had convinced her somehow, perhaps some sort of blackmail, but by the reactions of the Council they evidently thought highly of the Asari Matriarchs.

More importantly, Shepard could not think of one logical reason as to why she would support Saren's quest to bring about the return of the Reapers. If they had destroyed the entire Prothean civilisation then Shepard felt that he could be sure they weren't exactly benevolent.

_Why would she stay? Why would she work with Saren?_

He didn't have enough intelligence, not enough information to make an informed decision. It gnawed at him. He did not like going into things blind.

He passed Ashley and Kaidan in the hallways. They gave brief nods, and Shepard let them go. He had places to be, and they were busy in conversation.

"Fine then. Next time we're on the Citadel, we'll go out to Flux." Kaidan was saying, "Then you'll see that not every place on the Citadel is like Chora's Den."

"Okay, LT," Ashley replied, "You going to take your new girlfriend?"

Kaidan frowned, "I was thinking of taking the whole squad. A celebration."

"Drinking with a Turian..." Ashley muttered, "What would my grandfather think?"

And then they went around a corner and were gone.

Shepard entered the medical bay, and wasn't terribly surprised to find Liara on one of the medical beds. She perched herself up onto her elbows when the door opened.

"Come to check up on me, Commander?"

"No, not really," replied Shepard, "But how are you feeling?"

Shepard wasn't sure, it was only a slight flickering of her eyes, but she didn't seem pleased by his reply. "Doctor Chakwas assures me I am going to be fine. Commander, I never properly thanked you for saving me from the Geth... if you hadn't shown up..."

"Don't think about it, Doctor," replied Shepard, "Just try to get some rest."

Liara nodded, and reclined back to rest. Soon enough she had seemed to pass out completely.

As Shepard waited for Chakwas to show herself, he was already removing most of his combat armor, leaving him in little more than a tight fitting shirt and pair of shorts. Shepard thought little of it. Modesty wasn't exactly something they drilled into you in basic. He stripped off the shirt just as Chakwas emerged from deeper inside the_ Normandy's_ medical bay.

"Ah, there you are," said Doctor Chakwas, "I was wondering when you were going to arrive. I've treated everyone else in your team, from acid burns and bullet wounds on a Krogan to a fatigued Asari. Kaidan's migraines were nothing compared to that." She smiled warmly and with good humor, "How may I help you, Commander?"

"I got shot," Shepard stated bluntly, indicating his side.

"Ah, I see," replied Chakwas, taking a quick look before grabbing her various instruments. "Odd, this isn't a bullet wound, Shepard. It is almost like some sort of burn. I didn't think the Geth made use of energy weapons."

"They don't," replied Shepard. "No one does."

Shepard hadn't considered the implications of the wound. He had been shot, and he had destroyed his attacker. Thinking about what had happened hadn't entered into it. Still, it was something he knew he should consider, and anticipate in the future. Any weapon that could pierce shields with relative ease would have to be accounted for. As for their origin, the Geth had been hidden beyond the Veil for a long time. More than enough time, Shepard reckoned, to figure out a half-decent energy weapon.

Chakwas was talking. "Seems you've made quite an impression on Tali, John," she said with a pleasant smile, "She said she couldn't believe that the parents of the 'Great Commander Shepard' were 'simple farmers'. How many people have you told that to, John?"

_Not many_, Shepard thought. "Those who ask. It's not a secret."

Chakwas eyed Shepard for a few moments, and he knew she did not believe him. She returned to dressing the wound, beginning to apply a few patches.

"They also know it has no bearing on our mission," he sighed, regretting how he was treating the Doctor. "Doctor, I'm quite tired. I came here to get the wound seen to, not for a psychological analysis."

"It's your call, Commander," Chakwas admitted. "Your wound isn't serious. It will heal in time, although it will probably scar."

Shepard just nodded, "Understood." He turned on his heel, collected up his armor, made his way towards the door.

As he reached the threshold, Chakwas spoke up: "Sometimes, John, it doesn't hurt to talk."

* * *

A short time later, Shepard was down in the cargo bay. Alone. Even though Garrus was busy in the Mako, patching up something or other that had taken a beating on Therum, Shepard considered himself alone. He wasn't sure where Ashley was, perhaps still with Kaidan, and Wrex had ambled off to the mess hall. Still, he didn't mind it. It let him think.

He thought about many things.

His helmet and weapons lay on the workbench, with the parts that made up his combat armor in their seperate pieces around them. Generally, the armor was dented and scorched, the standard Alliance grey paint job with red markings almost completely ruined. The N7 badge - one of the highest distinctions in the Alliance military - was almost completely obscured.

That won't do at all, Shepard thought, and tried to polish off the ash as his brain turned its processing power towards other tasks.

All things considered, the mission on Therum had gone rather well. The destruction of the Prothean ruins was regrettable, but preferable to being captured - or worse - by the Geth.

Slowly, his mind turned its attention to what Chakwas had said. Shepard still knew she was wrong. She was still in love with her own romantic view of space travel and war. Shepard knew her well enough to know that she had originally joined the Alliance to tend the wounds of tough soldiers with 'piercing eyes' and 'sensitive souls'. And he knew that she still believed this.

But Chakwas was right, and that was the damnable part of it all. In a way, he had confided in Tali.

He hadn't confided to anyone in, well, years. It was stupid. Stupid to be vulnerable, stupid to trust, and worse still to need. Weaknesses. He couldn't afford to be weak, not with Saren on the loose.

And, yet, it felt... good. It was an odd feeling, and it made him feel lighter.

Maybe he'd talk to her again, later.

He pushed those thoughts from his head and concentrated on scraping some of the charred rock off his combat helmet. With every scrape, his head seemed to clear. There was a small dent in the back of the helmet, he noted. The visor was cracked too, no doubt disrupting the helmet's HUD, and he would need to replace it. Either the visor, or the helmet itself, he was not sure.

Shepard popped open a panel on the helmet in order to inspect the various electronic systems inside. A small amount of smoke drifted from somewhere within, and there was the particular acrid stench of something that had overheated, caught fire and melted into slag.

Shepard frowned at it, as if it had betrayed him. Then, he closed his eyes and sighed. He would definitely need a new helmet.

Maybe he _would_ go talk to Tali. After all, she was a mechanical genius, she'd definitely be able to help him with his helmet.

At least, that's what he told himself.

He found her, as he thought he would, in the engine room.

"Hey, Shepard," Tali chirped as she noted him approaching, placing a variety of tools down on top of a console, "You need something?"

He removed his helmet from under his arm, extended it to her. She took it eagerly.

"My helmet got pretty damaged in the fighting," Shepard explained, trying to keep his eyes on where he believed her's to be behind her helmet, "I was wondering if you could take a look at it."

"I'd be happy to," she nodded, placing it down on top of a nearby console and popping the panels open. Shepard wasn't sure, and he definitely couldn't read the Quarian well enough to tell, but it seemed as if there were a degree of reverence in her movements. "In the Flotilla," she said, "We would always attempt to salvage what we could-" But as she opened the access panels, her helmeted head shook quickly and her voice dropped.

"There's not much I could do, Shepard," she said, almost sadly. "I'm pretty sure I would have to take the whole thing apart, and even then I'm not sure if the _Normandy_ would have the required parts for this sort of work. It is very..." she seemed to search for a word, "intricate."

"Oh," said Shepard after a moment's pause, "That's too bad. I figured if anyone could have worked it out, it would have been you. I suppose this means I'll need to have a talk with the _Normandy's_ quartermaster."

Tali nodded and handed the helmet back to Shepard.

"How's your side?" asked Tali after a few moments.

"My what?"

"Your side," Tali repeated without a hint of condescension, "You were wounded. I noticed it while we were underground."

Shepard glanced at Adams, finding himself relieved that the Chief Engineer along with the rest of his crew seemed to be making themselves busy.

"It's fine," Shepard replied slowly, not quite sure if he liked the idea that she was studying him from behind that inscrutable visor. It left him at a considerable disadvantage. Once again, he tried to peer past it and saw nothing except his reflection. "Chakwas said it will heal up, leave me with another scar."

"Oh," chirped Tali, "Do you have many scars, Commander Shepard?"

Shepard suppressed a small flippant smirk, but he was aware that it still tugged at his lips. "More than you can see."

Tali's helmet bobbed up and down slightly. She looked at the drive core for a few moments, its gentle hum providing background noise to the engine room. "May I ask you something, Shepard?"

Shepard nodded, "Sure."

"Why is the _Normandy_ so quiet?"

Shepard paused in his reply, and attempted to process it completely. No one had ever asked him that before. The answer was obvious. "It is the most advanced warship in the Alliance fleet."

"I know," Tali replied, "but... it's so quiet. I cannot sleep."

"How so?"

"Back home," she explained, "in the Migrant Fleet, there are so many things constantly humming. If there is silence it means that a drive has shut down, or worse still, that an air filter is no longer working. I suppose I'll... get used to this quiet." A slight pause, and then she was talking again. "And your ship is so... empty. Sometimes I wake up and, even though it is just for a few seconds, I think I am back home and that something has broken down, or that half the crew is missing..." She trailed off, perhaps too self-concious to continue. "It's not important."

"The well-being of my crew is very important, Tali. Trust me, however, you'll get used to it. I know I did." Shepard replied, "And, about the nightmares..." Shepard said, "Don't worry. I have them, too."

"About the _Normandy_?" Tali asked, curiously.

"No, not really." Shepard found himself saying before he could catch himself. Suddenly uncomfortable without really knowing why, Shepard caught himself tapping a hand on his helmet. "Well, I should let you get back to work..."

"Okay, Commander Shepard. See you later. Thank you for listening."

As he made his way to the bridge Shepard reflected that perhaps, just perhaps, talking wasn't so bad after all.


	18. Part III: Thesis, Ch VI: Matters

**Chapter VI - Matters**

"I'm just saying that this place is different to Chora's Den, Ash!"

Kaidan was busy attempting to explain the merits of a Citadel nightclub, apparently known as Flux, to Ashley who, by Shepard's reckoning, was less than impressed.

The Presidium was just as it had been when Shepard was last on the Citadel. Diplomats, traders, soldiers and wanderers of half a dozen different species all doing business. Most of them gave Shepard and his squad a wide berth, even though they were not armed and armored. The squad had decided to plan their next move in the shadow of the so-called Relay Monument, a scale representation of a Mass Relay and, as Liara theorised, a piece of Prothean art that symbolized their unity.

Ashley had promptly snubbed Liara's analysis and suggested that it was a gesture of hubris and vanity.

"Right, so, a club in the Wards." Ashley sighed, sitting on a bench that provided a great view the Presidium lakes. "And how many half-naked Asari will you be leering at this time, Alenko?" She pulled at her uniform jacket, seeming uncomfortable out of her armor.

Kaidan fought down a blush, and was about to stammer out a response when he found some unexpected help.

"None, actually," clarified Garrus, "It may be located in the Wards, but it is distinctly more... upmarket."

"They don't usually let Krogan in, that's for sure," grumbled Wrex as he studied a large statue of an armored Krogan that towered above one of the Presidium lakes. A plaque informed that it was commissioned to commemorate the Krogan contribution in the Rachni War. Tali stood nearby him, and seemed much less impressed than Wrex did. Shepard found it was an interesting contrast.

"This statue," Wrex was saying to the young Quarian, "represents the values of the Krogan. Honor, loyalty, courage, fortitude." He snorted, "If only my people would remember them."

"I don't understand," she said after a few moments, arms crossed. "The Krogan turn against the other Citadel races, almost conquer them, and they get a statue. My people create the Geth and, while that may be a mistake, we are removed from Citadel politics and forced to live in exile."

"The difference is that your people are still alive. In two hundred years or so, this monument may be all that is left of my people."

"Point taken," Tali conceded, "You are not like other Krogan, Wrex."

Wrex shrugged his massive shoulders and grumbled, "I'll take that as a compliment."

Garrus attempted to steer the conversation back towards something less likely to anger Wrex. "I think Flux had a Krogan bouncer, once."

"That's not my point, Vakarian," grumbled Wrex, "Every place has a Krogan bouncer, and you know why? It's because we're good at what we do. It's like some sort of status symbol for them."

Ashley shrugged, "Well, the LT's paying-"

"Get the Council to cover it," Wrex pointed out, "Claim it's a business expense."

Kaidan's face lit up with a rather sloppy grin, "Yeah, it's not like they'd know."

Garrus frowned, but said nothing.

As the group started to move out towards the elevators, Shepard decided to speak up: "You all go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"I told Joker and Pressly to not let you back on-board the ship without us, Commander," said Ashley, face breaking out into a wide smirk. Shepard imagined that Joker would take great joy in following those orders to the letter.

"It's not that at all, Chief." Shepard replied, having no intention of heading to the _Normandy_. "I just have something I need to take care of." Ashley stared at him in obvious disbelief, Shepard explained: "Citadel business. I'll meet you there. Have fun," said Shepard as he separated himself from his now-departing squad, "And that's an order."

* * *

It was funny that, even after all this time, Shepard felt as if he was eighteen once again, when he had first been dragged to a door that was quite similar to the one now in front of him. That was when he had his first real taste of military discipline. Of course, back then, the person behind the door had a different rank, and so had Shepard. A lot of things had changed since then. After a few pensive moments, Shepard stepped inside.

However, never once, not all those years ago and not now, had Shepard ever expected the office of a high-ranking Alliance officer to smell of cigars and coffee. He never once expected the rows and shelves of well-worn books and pieces of art. There was often music too, soft orchestral melodies, and Shepard never expected that either.

Rear Admiral Kahoku looked up from behind his desk as Shepard stepped through the door.

"Admiral," Shepard said and saluted smartly.

"We don't need rank, Commander Shepard," replied Kahoku with a smooth voice. A rich baritone, smoothly articulated. "We've known each other too long for that. Still, it is good to see that you retain your appreciation for protocol."

"You did drill it into me, sir." He took a second to properly inspect the room, "Although, I'd heard you had received an office in the Citadel Tower, I wasn't sure if I believed it."

"I think the Council decided they would give some sort of reward to the man who trained the first Human Spectre." Kahoku said with an enigmatic grin.

"How's the family?"

Kahoku smiled, "They're doing well. Earth's really something at this time of year. It would be snowing at home." He toyed slightly with his salt-and-pepper beard. As he did so, he placed a small object on his desk with another hand - and flipped it on. "But the reason I called you here is not a social one, Commander."

"Sir?" asked Shepard, puzzled. "Are these new orders? As a Spectre-"

Kahoku held up a hand to ward off Shepard's words. "Not new orders, but this is Spectre related. The Alliance needs soldiers who know what they're doing, and the Council needs Spectres who know what they are doing, not-" He broke off suddenly, unusual for the older man. "There are some people who will be watching what you do now very closely, Shepard."

"Sir, who do you mean? The Alliance? The Council?"

"Maybe," replied Kahoku somewhat enigmatically, "I have a few names, possible locations, but nothing that proves anything. My survey teams have been going missing, and any attempt to find out the specifics is stone-walled by elements within Alliance command. Something is happening Shepard, I don't know what, but I intend to find out. As such, I will perhaps require your crew, your vessel and yourself at some point in the future."

Shepard was hesitant, but he would not refuse one of the few people he truly considered a friend. "Understood, sir. Just give the word."

Kahoku nodded, and touched a button on the small object again. Shepard assumed, now, that it was some sort of jamming device. "I just thought I'd see what you were doing on the Citadel."

"Myself and some others are going to Flux, down in the Wards. I shouldn't keep them waiting."

"This is exactly the kind of behavior I encouraged in you, yes? Go," Kahoku smiled, "Spend time with your friends, for your own sake."

Something about that idea rankled Shepard. "They're just my squad mates, sir."

Kahoku looked oddly at Shepard for a few moments. "In that case, you know that you should go because it will make a good impression. Dismissed, Commander."

* * *

Flux was dimly lit and Shepard's eyes took a second or two to adjust to it. Holographic signs in a variety of languages listed directions to a casino, dance floor and bar. Throbbing music almost overwhelmed everything else, as the patrons - mostly Humans - moved and gyrated on the dance floor. A few waiters and waitresses, again, mostly human, flitted to and fro with drinks in their hands.

Shepard reflected that, among other things, Flux certainly smelled better than Chora's Den.

As soon as Shepard got past the bouncer - a human, surprisingly enough and one Wrex was either trading stories with or blatantly intimidating, Shepard was not sure - Ashley spotted him, her eyes shining like a pair of diamonds. She dragged him over to the table that Shepard's squad had co-opted. Wrex ambled over, and they all gazed at their commander rather expectantly.

"Here, skipper," Ashley said, passing Shepard a shot of some amber liquid. "Drink this."

Shepard eyed it with the dubious expression that he reserved for hostile Geth and Joker's quips.

Still, he threw his head back and it burned like fire on the way down. He spluttered and it almost came out through his nose. His squad mates - alien and human - laughed, but it was good-natured laughter, and then Ashley was pressing some sort of fruit into his fingers.

"Suck on this," she said, "It'll help."

And it did help, but his facial expression seemed only to incite further laughter - even from Garrus. It occurred to Shepard that he had never heard a Turian's approximation of laughter before.

"To Commander Shepard," said Kaidan, raising his glass.

His team cheered. Sure it was all an illusion... sure, happiness was temporary... but this time, the shot went down much easier.

The night continued. At one point, Tali - who had not been drinking - excused herself, and Shepard could see Tali practically climbing over the bar to get at the diminutive pressure-suited Volus behind it. He couldn't make out what they were saying over the music, but Ashley told him that Tali was harassing the Volus in order to obtain a copy of the music to 'take back to the Flotilla'.

Kaidan jerked his head in Tali's direction. "Ok, let's take bets, anyone know what a Quarian looks like?"

Shepard remembered a line of Kaidan's from a briefing just prior to Therum, "I didn't think you were taking part in that, Lieutenant."

"Figuratively speaking, sir." Kaidan countered smoothly.

"She should look like a Turian," Garrus stated.

"Excuse me, Garrus?" slurred Kaidan, "That seems like an odd thing to say."

"We are both a part of dextro-protein based species," the Turian replied with clinical precision, "I imagine there should be similarities. It is also why, Chief Williams, you could not just 'try my drink'. At best it would be tasteless, at worst it would poison you."

Ashley snorted, "I think I could handle anything you can drink, Garrus."

"I doubt that."

"Jeez, lighten up!" sighed Ashley, her eyes flashing to Shepard. "You're worse than the Commander sometimes."

"I do not need to 'lighten up'." He turned away from Ashley, mandibles twitching in irritation. He downed the rest of his drink. "It would just follow that, scientifically speaking, there would be similarities between our species."

"And, scientifically speaking, I have four testicles." Wrex rumbled, "Which is four more than you will ever have, Vakarian."

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Garrus, who was quickly drowned out by Ashley's exasperated, yet simple, question.

"Why is it that every conversation between you two inevitably revolves about your testicles?"

"Why do planets revolve around suns?" Wrex laughed, and the sound caused a few other patrons to glance over. "It's just how the world works. Admit it, Williams. You walked right into that one."

Ashley just sighed in frustration and dropped her head onto her arms. "You drinking, skipper?" she asked.

Shepard shrugged. "Just one. I like to keep my wits about me."

"And that's your problem, Commander," she huffed, "Always so serious. Just like Vakarian."

Tali returned then, clutching the OSD in her three-fingered hand. "I got it!" she beamed.

"So, that means your pilgrimage is done?" said Ashley, "You can return home to the Flotilla?"

"Of course not," replied Tali, "We have not stopped Saren-"

Ashley sighed, "It was a joke, Tali."

"You shouldn't joke about music, Chief Williams." she replied, either seriously or not, Shepard couldn't quite tell. "Dancers are highly revered in the flotilla."

Ashley was silent for a moment, seeming to take it as a challenge. "I bet they've got nothing on me." She grabbed Kaidan by the hand, "Come on, Alenko."

Kaidan flashed a sheepish grin and followed Ashley out to the dance floor.

"I'm going to... go play some quasar," Garrus suddenly declared, standing up from the table. He marched across the club and ended up almost falling back down the steps.

"He can't hold his liquor," Wrex declared as Garrus began scrutinizing the various gaming machines on the upper level. "Probably hasn't had a drink in his life."

"Doesn't seem the type," Shepard agreed.

"He seems like a good person," Liara added meekly, and Shepard found himself quite shocked that he hadn't really noticed her. A club didn't really seem like her sort of place.

Wrex nodded, "For a Turian." he conceded, "He's just as tightly wound as the rest of 'em, all duty and honor." He pushed himself away from the table, "I'm going to go find something to do."

The squad gradually dispersed throughout the nightclub. Ashley and Kaidan were dancing. Wrex was swapping war stories with a Krogan he had run into. Liara, the newcomer, hadn't really seemed to fall into the celebratory vibe and was analyzing a variety of Prothean texts on her omni-tool. _Oh well_, Shepard thought,_ if that's what she likes_. They really were becoming a team. It was taking time, and it wasn't perfect, but it was happening. And they were all so beautiful, alive, not like him.

It was precisely why he would protect them.

He sighed, took a sip of his drink. He was well aware that he always got like this when he drank.

And he couldn't shake the oddness of his meeting with Admiral Kahoku. The Admiral wasn't the sort of man given to flights of fancy. Something was happening, and if it was on such a level that would rattle an experienced Alliance Admiral...

No, Shepard definitely did not like that.

The night wore on and eventually the squad stumbled back to the _Normandy_. There were songs and jokes although Shepard was sure the tunes were off and that Garrus couldn't get his punchlines right. Maybe Turian humor was just different. Frankly, Shepard was surprised Garrus could remain conscious, especially since Ashley had - at one point - taken Garrus' challenge and drunk him under the table.

Literally.

"Remind me never to compete with you," Shepard muttered to Ashley as the squad made their way into the _Normandy's_ main deck. He watched as Wrex and Liara proceeded to drag and coax Garrus towards the medical bay. Some part of Shepard knew that Doctor Chakwas would not be pleased. Tali was lingering in the decontamination chamber.

"Noted, skipper," Ashley grinned wildly, "It doesn't quite make up for Shanxi, but it's a start."

That caused some part of Shepard's mind to wonder at Ashley's words, but it was quickly subsumed under an alcoholic fugue.

Ashley smirked, and it was a grin that, to Shepard, evoked the feeling of a cobra. "Never been drunk before, eh, skipper?"

"Well- no."

Ashley laughed, mainly to herself, and she seemed to size Shepard up in those moments. She cocked her head thoughtfully.

Shepard felt an embarrassed blush creep across his features, and he wished he could control his body as well as he could control his mind. She was definitely planning something.

She kissed him on the lips. It was intoxicating, far more than anything he had had at Flux. Her dark hair was like satin in his fingertips. It'd been so long... And just as suddenly, she abruptly broke away from it. Her eyes flashed dangerously with some sort of unspoken promise before she laughed and turned away, heading deeper into the _Normandy_. "Come on, Alenko." It took all of Shepard's willpower not to follow her.

Behind him, he could hear the decontamination airlock finish a cycle.

"Maybe the two of them will make enough noise so I can sleep." Tali said, and Shepard could hear Ashley and Kaidan give a rather raucous greeting to Pressly.

"It sure sounds like it," Shepard said, still shaking off the after-effects of Ashley's unexpected kiss, "Sleep well, Tali."

Shepard watched them all go, surprised at the sudden warmth in chest.

And maybe he could consider them all his friends. Well, almost-friends. People who seemed to like having him around.

* * *

_Well, the reason for this incredible delay, is that I injured my right hand a few weeks ago. Since I'm right handed this presented a huge problem. It has healed now (at least to a usable extent), however, and I'll be able to resume writing. I hope nobody thinks I've abandoned this! I wish had a way to basically post status updates for stories._


	19. Part IV: Echoes, Ch I: Frontier

**Part IV - Echoes**

_"What is history? An echo of the past in the future; a reflex from the future on the past." - Victor Hugo_

**Chapter I - Frontier**

On the way to their next target, Shepard thought.

He thought of Admiral Kahoku.

The Admiral had always taken a certain amount of pride in teaching Shepard to appreciate multiple viewpoints, to not only analyze but enjoy everything life had to offer. Sometimes the two would not be mutually exclusive. Sometimes it would be a piece of music, an artwook, a work of literature. Other times, Kahoku would present Shepard with - and these were his favorite - a war, a battle, a hypothetical scenario. Across all those analyses, Shepard knew one thing: No one waged war for the sole purpose of waging war.

Saren had to have a plan, an objective, something he was working towards. The Geth were supporting him for a reason. Perhaps it was directly related to the Reapers, perhaps not. He had to have a concrete objective, a step in his plan to facilitate the return of the Reapers. It was this thought that drove Shepard to Noveria, where there had been reports of Saren's second-in-command, Matriarch Benezia.

Shepard knew that he would be able to get answers from her.

Unfortunately, Noveria's spaceport was being less than co-operative.

Joker sighed as he toggled the communications array, "This is _SSV Normandy_. Again, requesting permission to land."

Noveria was a small frozen world. Nothing remarkable, no vital resources, barely habitable by conventional definitions of the word. No one wanted it.

Which is why, by Shepard's estimation, the Noveria Development Corperation had established itself there. Given Joker's ramblings as they had approached orbit, Shepard was now aware that the world was the source of many wild conspiracy theories.

"_Normandy_, your arrival was not scheduled. Our defense grid is armed and tracking you. State your business."

"Citadel business," replied Joker, "We've got a Council Spectre on board."

There was a pause before the terse voice returned, "Landing access granted, _Normandy_. Be advised: we will be confirming identification on arrival. If confirmation cannot be established, your vessel will be impounded. Welcome to Port Hanshan." The final four words were spoken with just as much venom as the their previous threat.

Shepard nodded, standing behind Joker. "Take us down, Joker."

"God, I was hoping you'd say that. If we'd come this far, gone through all that, just to go home? I don't know, sir, I think I would have shot myself."

The _Normandy_ dropped through the atmosphere and into a snowstorm.

"Well, here's something new!" laughed Joker, "Can't see a thing. Although, I'm pretty sure we're locked onto Port Hanshan's beacon."

"Just get us down in one piece, Joker."

The pilot snorted, "Who do you think you're talking to, Commander? I'm the best damn pilot in the fleet."

Shepard envied Captain Anderson's patience. He still couldn't really picture his former commanding officer working some desk job on the Citadel, probably working for Ambassador Udina. It got under Shepard's skin. If he could have taken any ship other than the _Normandy_...

_The past is the past, focus._

Joker maneuvered the _Normandy_ down into a frigate-sized hangar, built into the side of a mountain. Shepard found himself wondering if the docking bay was concealed for any particular reason, or if it was simply a better choice, considering Noveria's climate.

"Well, that was fun," Joker quipped as the _Normandy's_ systems cycled down, "They sound like a fun bunch, Commander. I think I'll take my next leave here."

Shepard's squad met him at the airlock. "You've got the deck, Pressly!" called Shepard as they stepped out.

Instantly, despite his armor, Shepard was hit by the cold. He should have expected it, given the aerial view of blizzards and endless snow, but it was still a shock. He was sure that outside, in Noveria's unprotected wilds, they would all freeze to death in a matter of seconds - regardless of their sealed armor. He wasn't sure if he preferred it to the magma-spewing intensity of Therum.

"I wonder which is colder, the weather or the bureaucrats..." Garrus mused idly as the squad began to march up the walkway towards the entrance to Port Hanshan.

"Either way," Kaidan shrugged, "I knew I should have listened to my mother and packed a sweater."

"A sweater?" asked Tali, "I'm wearing an environmental suit and I'm still freezing!"

"Yeah, well," Ashley remarked, "We'll be fine providing no one wants to lick any poles."

Wrex smirked and said nothing. He did speak up later, as the squad neared the entrance to the spaceport. "Well, well, well... looks like we have a welcoming committee."

Shepard's well-trained eyes could pick out three figures. Two humans - an Asian and a blonde - and a solitary Turian. By their weapons and their stance he assumed they were soldiers. A few recessed alcoves made him think that there were also a number of sentry guns awaiting deployment. It seemed Noveria did not want visitors poking around without proper authorization.

The Asian woman held out a hand as they approached, one of the oldest gestures known to man. "That's far enough." By the tone of her voice, Shepard knew she expected his unquestioning obedience. Too bad she fell outside his chain of command.

"Is there a problem here, officer?"

"Only because this an unscheduled arrival," her voice became more cordial, "Captain Matsuo, Noveria Security. I need to see your credentials."

"John Shepard, Citadel Spectre. This is my squad."

The blonde officer snorted, "Load of horsecrap, ma'am." Her armor was tagged 'Stirling'.

Ashley was quick to retort, "And just how many human Spectres are there? Are you blind or are you stupid?"

Matsuo stepped in, "We will need to confirm this, regardless. Also, I must advise you and your team that firearms are not permitted in Noveria. Sergeant Stirling, secure their weapons."

The blonde officer took a step forward.

"Step back," warned Garrus, laying a taloned hand on his sidearm. "Citadel authority supersedes your own."

Shepard nodded, "We are here on Citadel business. You won't be taking our weapons."

"We are authorized to use lethal force," stated Matsuo, "You have until the count of three to surrender your weapons."

"Unlucky for you," Wrex growled, and, for his part, the Krogan already had his shotgun out and ready. "You have two seconds to back off." It wasn't exactly the way Shepard had intended to handle this situation.

Matsuo's eyes narrowed. "I don't think so. One."

Shepard noted Garrus and Ashley going for their own weapons, a subtle corona of energy forming around Kaidan and Liara, Tali's hand dropping to her omni-tool.

"Two."

His hand strayed towards his pistol.

"Captain Matsuo! Stand down!" shouted a female voice over the PA system, "We have confirmed their identity. Spectres are allowed to carry weapons here, Captain."

Matsuo did not seem particularly fazed. Shepard made a mental note of it. "You may proceed then, Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit will be less... confrontational. Parasini-san will meet you upstairs."

The stairs behind Matsuo led to a lobby of benches, potted plants and tiles. It looked just as cold as Noveria's outside landscape. As Shepard's team entered a multitude of alarms went off.

"Sorry!" grimaced a dark-skinned woman who strode out from behind the main desk. "Just the weapon detectors." She wore a long pink-red dress, flared shoulders with a high neck and sleeves. Shepard thought it looked hideous. Still, the woman's overall demeanor meant that Shepard wasn't about to question it.

She introduced herself, "I am Gianna Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis." Shepard recognized the voice, the same one which had ordered Matsuo to stand down. "We apologize for the incident in the docking bay."

"I'm sure you do," Shepard shrugged, dismissing it.

"She takes her job seriously, she's a valuable asset to the company. One of my duties is the orientation of new arrivals. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, has anyone unusual passed through here recently?"

"Unusual?" Parasini frowned, thinking to herself. "An Asari Matriarch and her retinue passed through just over a week ago. A Lady Benezia."

Liara gasped softly, "Benezia... she is here?"

Shepard filed Liara's reaction away in the back of his mind, "She's a fugitive and a threat to galactic security. I'm here to bring her in."

"The board doesn't like having outside problems dumped in its lap, Commander," Parasini almost sneered, "She left for the Peak 15 research complex days ago. To the best of my knowledge she is still there."

"Good. Just give us directions and we'll be on our way."

"I cannot do that. You need to talk to Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port. His office is on the main level. Left at the top of the elevator. I have other duties I must attend to. Good day, Spectre."

Shepard sighed mentally, already regretting setting foot on Noveria.

"Bureaucracy, can't live without it," Garrus grumbled as they stepped into the elevator, "Can't exactly live with it either."

"They give us the third degree," Wrex growled, "And yet they let Benezia through with a bunch of Asari commandos!?"

"Commandos? Aren't you assuming a bit much, Wrex?" Kaidan asked,

Wrex shook his head, "No, I'm not. We've got a tough road ahead of us, Shepard."

The elevator doors opened into a rather spartanly decorated multi-levelled plaza. It seemed to be hewn from some sort of rock, decorated with sparse potted trees and decorative rocks. Shepard's eyes were drawn to the window that dominated one wall and the ceiling, showing the full fury of Noveria's raging blizzards. It was slightly warmer, but still erring towards the cold side of the spectrum. It seemed that the corporations on Noveria wanted their visitors to be uncomfortable.

It was a feeling that seemed to be matched by the various security guards and other patrons of the plaza. They quietened up as Shepard approached, or made it quite clear that they were observing him and his squad. Any excuse and they'd drill his squad full of holes, of that he had no doubt.

"Wow," muttered Kaidan, "Anyone else get the impression that they don't like us?"

"They're probably watching our every move," put in Garrus, "They probably don't like Spectres, just like my father. No offense, Shepard."

"None taken."

Ashley smirked, "Maybe Joker was right. Maybe they're hiding something."

"God, I hope not." Kaidan chuckled, "It'd go right to his head. Still, any idea on what they do here?"

"I heard they were working on a cure for the Genophage," Wrex stated, "But I don't put much stock in it. This place is full of secrets."

"Yeah, like what's with the big window anyway?" Ashley mused, mainly to herself. "The only thing you can see is snow."

* * *

The Administrator's office was just as spartan as the rest of Port Hanshan's central plaza, although it was quite large, larger than the _Normandy's_ mess hall. Despite this, there was nothing in the room excepting an expensive-looking desk and pair of decorative plants. The desk was entirely too big for the lanky Salarian sitting behind it, Shepard could barely see him over the mass of glowing computer terminals. Images from the terminals played across the Salarian's large dark eyes.

"You will excuse me if I don't stand up," Anoleis said quickly, not even looking up from his many screens and displays, "I have no time to waste on colonial rubes."

"Then make time," suggested Shepard, "I'm here on Citadel business."

"This greeting is a _courtesy_, Commander," Anoleis said, finally looking up. "I will cooperate _only_ as required by the Noveria Executive Board. Businesses come here to avoid the second-guessing of galactic law."

"And I represent the 'second-guessing of galactic law'. I've heard there's an Asari Matriarch here, Lady Benezia?"

Anoleis' eyes had already wandered back down to his terminal, "She arrived a few days ago, accompanied by a personal escort and some cargo. She is in Peak 15." He glanced up to focus on Shepard, "Just so we understand each other, I will not allow you to harass our clients. This world is private property."

Shepard wondered how it was possible to own an entire world. "Regardless, I'd like to see her - immediately."

"I'm afraid you cannot. Peak 15 is a private facility in the Skadi Mountains. There is also a blizzard in the area. Shuttles are grounded and surface access has been cut off. The roads are not suitable for travel."

"This is a matter of Citadel security-"

"Your word carries no weight here, Shepard. Don't make an issue of this."

"Forget this, Commander," Garrus broke in, "If he won't help us then someone else will."

"Good, whatever," Anoleis responded, waving towards the door, "I received a dozen urgent messages while you dithered about!"

"Bah," spat Wrex as the group trudged out of Anoleis' office, "We're wasting our time. We could have just beaten him into cooperation."

"No," replied Garrus, "We couldn't have."

"Yes, we could. Think he lifts anything heavier than stacks of data?"

Gianna Parasini was waiting for them outside, she shook her head as Shepard approached. "Never dealt with the corporate world have you, Commander? You can't just bludgeon your way through bureaucracy."

"I don't know," Shepard smirked, "Wrex here could bludgeon pretty hard."

Wrex gave his best impression of a genuine smile and Parasini, to her credit, did not flinch in the slightest.

"There's another way. Find Lorik Qui'in," she whispered, "Try the hotel bar. Can't say anymore, not within earshot of Anoleis."

Shepard didn't even bother trying to ask for an explanation and silently resolved to get off Noveria as soon as possible.

* * *

The Noveria Hotel was more hospitable than the rest of Port Hanshan, albeit only slightly. Shepard still would not ever have wanted to stay here for any extended period of time. He wondered if anyone ever came to Noveria for a vacation, or sight-seeing.

After Garrus had told him that Lorik Qui'in was a Turian name, Shepard had resolved to question every Turian he could find in the Noveria Hotel if it would get him off the planet faster. Garrus assured him that such measures would not be necessary as there was only one Turian in the bar.

The older Turian looked up from his seat as Shepard approached. It wasn't hostile, but a curious glance. "You are the Spectre that just arrived, are you not? What could an old Turian like me possibly help you with?"

"To be perfectly honest, I'm trying to find a way into the Peak 15 research complex. Gianna Parasini told me you could help."

"She did, did she? Ah, you humans, always sticking your fingers into other people's pies. Is that the phrase?" Before Shepard could answer, Qui'in had shrugged it off, "Well, how fortuitous. I'm the manager of the local Synthetic Insights officer. For the moment, at least."

"For the moment?"

"Mr. Anoleis closed my office." Qui'in explained, "He claims to be investigating reports of my corruption." He paused as if considering something, "Come to think of it, Anoleis is an interesting man. He has become quite wealthy ever since he took direct control of rents. To put it bluntly, Spectre, the administrator demands rent kickbacks from the companies on Noveria."

"That's awfully corrupt of him,"

Qui'in nodded, "Quite. However, I have acquired evidence of Anoleis' actions. He is not too pleased with this, his hired goons are ransacking my offices to find it. To use a phrase, I am the fly in his ointment. If you recover the evidence from my office, I will give you my pass."

"Sounds like a fair trade."

"Violence against his thugs may be necessary. I believe he has employed members of Hanshan's security team, paying them under the table."

"That makes them mercenaries," grunted Wrex, "We can kill mercenaries."

"Excellent," nodded Qui'in, "Here's the pass to my office. The evidence is on my computer." The Turian reached into a pocket and produced a small disc, "This OSD contains the encryption key to access it. It auto-executes."

Shepard turned to his squad, "We'll have to travel quietly. I want to avoid a shooting war."

"Why?" Wrex asked, and Shepard realised with no amount of surprise that Wrex was quite serious. He acted as if he didn't hear the Krogan.

He turned to the two members of his team who he thought would be the most useful, "Garrus, Tali, with me. The rest of you, wait here."

* * *

The Synthetic Insights offices weren't that far from the Noveria Hotel. A short elevator ride and walk across the plaza brought them to it. The offices seemed to be almost a grid-like layout of corridors, offices and pillars that Shepard assumed were more for a decorative purpose than anything else.

Shepard led the way, Tali just a few paces behind with Garrus bringing up the rear. He slowed when he identified Qui'in's office.

He turned, and was just about to relay final instructions to Tali and Garrus, when a burst of projectiles ripped past his ear.

* * *

_Sorry about the delay but life's been hectic. That, and I keep getting caught up in the stage where I keep polishing it. One update a month is terrible, but I think Noveria will become much easier now and quicker to update. Mainly, I think I need to remember I'm not really writing award-winning literature here, just 'net fanfic. :p Thanks to the people who have sent me reviews and messages, it really energizes me. :)_


	20. Part IV: Echoes, Ch II: Machinations

**Chapter II - Machinations**

Shepard's combat reflexes sent him diving behind a pillar for cover. His pistol was already out, sweeping left and right for targets. A second volley of shots - probably assault rifle fire - and then a third blasted holes in the polished tile floor nearby. Shepard noted a dark figure, brought his pistol to bear, and fired.

Garrus was kneeling behind another pillar, firing. Tali had ducked into a corridor, every so often snapping off a shot with her own sidearm. There were four figures in total that Shepard could see, one of them down.

Shepard fired again. The bullet took one of the men in the shoulder, staggered him, sent him crashing into an artistic mural. Shepard fired again. This time the shot took him in the chest and the man slumped to the ground. The other two shooters were taking aim at Shepard.

Garrus shot one of them in the head.

Tali shot one in the heart.

Shepard spun on his feet, came up into a crouch-

-and found himself staring into the barrel of Garrus' sidearm.

Garrus took a step to the left, swept the corridor. "Looks like we're all clear, Shepard." There were two bodies lying further down, oozing blood onto the pristine floor.

"I'm going in Garrus, cover me."

One of the shooters had stepped out of Qui'in's office, and so Shepard stepped inside. On the right side of the room, a Noveria security guard raised his hand, a pistol clenched in his grip.

Shepard leveled his pistol at the man, "Drop it."

"Drop yours first," came a voice. It was Stirling, to Shepard's left, just inside the doorway. He hadn't noticed her.

"You shoot me," Shepard began, keeping his voice even. He couldn't afford to be afraid. "My friends shoot you. I might even kill your squadmate. Why don't we just calm down and talk this over?"

"I don't talk with cop-killers."

"And you're corrupt. Just what exactly are you doing here, Stirling?"

"Like it's any concern of yours."

"I'm a Spectre, I just made it my concern. I'm just here doing my job, I can't imagine what you're doing here, interfering in a Citadel investigation, trying to kill me and my squad... Drop your gun, Stirling."

"Not a chance," she replied, "You think I'm going to let you walk? No way. Anoleis would throw you off-world for this. I won't. You know what we do to cop-killers on my world?"

Shepard didn't intend to find out, he moved. Stirling was almost ready for it, even managed to squeeze the trigger on her pistol, Shepard felt it penetrate his armor and graze across his right arm but by then he had hit the floor. Garrus was a blur streaking past him. By the time Shepard had picked himself up, Garrus had shot Stirling. The other guard had his hands raised in surrender.

"You could have subdued her," Shepard said.

"I could have," nodded Garrus almost reluctantly, "but she was armed and hostile. Besides," he said and his voice seemed almost pleased, "This was quicker."

"I suppose I can't argue," Shepard said, less out of any opposition he had and more out of the fact his arm was aching, blood coating his gauntlet. "Just be mindful Garrus, I'm a soldier, you're C-Sec, we've got vows to uphold. We're not killers."

"Of course not, Commander," replied Garrus, but he sounded almost cowed by it. "I understand." And even though Shepard knew Garrus did understand he sensed a lot of bitterness there. But at what?

He'd find out later. Shepard passed Garrus the OSD provided by Lorik Qui'in. "Let's just find the files. Get Tali to help you if you need it."

"That will not be necessary, I know my way around computer systems. She should see to your arm."

Shepard didn't argue. He disengaged the right gauntlet from the rest of his armor, peeled away the plating that protected his forearms. The projectile had penetrated the soft underlayer of Shepard's armor, right in the elbow joint. He was damn lucky the shot hadn't hit an artery or ruined a tendon. Either of those would have greatly hampered the mission. Tali crouched down beside him.

"All it needs is some medigel," Shepard said,

"Are you sure?" Tali asked,

"Positive. The gel will keep it together until we get back to the ship. It's not serious."

Tali nodded and slapped a canister of the gel on. It stung, but Shepard knew that discomfort was only temporary. He found himself wondering just how much medical experience Tali had. Much less than Shepard, that's for sure, especially when it came to Humans. Shepard knew everything the Alliance could teach, and more besides. So, why was he letting Tali, a young probably inexperienced Quarian, see to his injuries? He could do it himself, and he'd be less likely to make a mistake that could prove costly.

In a way, it felt nice to have someone take care of it. Maybe it was just that simple.

Shepard put it aside for the moment as he began to piece his armor back together. He was a soldier, he couldn't afford idle speculation, or weakness. They had a job to do. Garrus looked over from the console and spoke up, "We've got it. Let's see Anoleis try to get out of this one." Shepard could hear the pleasure in Garrus' voice, the fact that he was going to bring a small amount of justice to the world.

Shepard flexed his hand to test it. Everything worked. Perhaps Tali knew more about first aid than he'd guessed. "Let's go."

* * *

Lorik Qui'in was not alone when Shepard returned. The Turian was joined by Gianna Parasini, still clad in that ridiculous pink dress. Her demeanor had shifted, however. She stood straighter, held her head higher, scrutinized Shepard as he approached. She was no mere receptionist, Shepard could see that now. She waved Shepard over and rose to her feet.

"Commander," She extended her hand in greeting, "Allow me to re-introduce myself. Gianna Parasini, Noveria Internal Affairs." Her voice was clipped, deliberate, commanding.

Shepard eyed her but shook her hand. He didn't trust sudden changes in attitude. And no one seemed to be who they said they were on Noveria. "What's this about?"

"The Executive Board knows about Anoleis' corruption. I've been undercover for six months. With your evidence, and my... discussion with Lorik Qui'in, we can run this planet profitably again."

Qui'in shrugged, borrowing another human expression. "Not my original plan, but Ms. Parasini here is rather... persuasive."

Shepard nodded, "I don't doubt it. But I do need a pass to Peak 15, Ms. Parasini."

"And you'll get one, in return for the evidence."

"Then it's a done deal. But this is the last errand I'm performing."

"Absolutely," nodded Parasini as Shepard slid her the OSD, "Excellent. If you'll just accompany me to Anoleis' office..."

* * *

In the end, Anoleis shouted, screamed, fought. Shepard could hear Parasini struggling with the Salarian, and Wrex making bets. Eventually, however, Parasini emerged - dragging the Salarian with her, his voice rising by the minute, his threats becoming more and more ridiculous. As Parasini dragged him past, Anoleis locked eyes with Shepard.

"You! Shepard!" Anoleis was practically shrieking now, writhing like a madman caught in Parasini's grip. "I demand you place this bitch under arrest!"

"With what authority, Administrator?" Shepard called out as Gianna dragged Anoleis outside his office, "Noveria's private property, after all! My word carries no weight here!"

Gianna laughed, called back: "See you around the galaxy, Commander! I owe you a beer!" She managed to keep Anoleis subdued as she tossed Shepard a small keycard. "You have the right to remain silent, Administrator. I'd wish to God you'd exercise it."

As Gianna dragged the shrieking Salarian away, Ashley turned to Shepard. "So, you've got a sense of humor after all, skipper."

Shepard grinned at Ashley, "Right. Or else I might end up like you."

He was moving towards the garage before Ashley got a chance to respond, "Did anyone hear that?! Did you hear that Vakarian?!"

"Not a word," Garrus replied.

"Good," snapped Ashley, "Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I didn't get a transfer to somewhere on the Citadel."

As the squad marched towards the garage, Shepard began to lose himself in his thoughts. Had he done the right thing? Anoleis was corrupt, but that seemed to be the name of the game on Noveria. Gianna Parasini seemed strong enough and, more importantly, opposed to the Anoleis' brand of corruption, but Shepard knew she had to have her own agenda. Was this what Spectres did? Solve the problems that people couldn't do themselves?

A little effort against corruption here, take a few dozen lives there, sign an autograph, destroy some Geth, kill a crime boss, save an Archaeologist... A Spectre could do anything, go anywhere, sacrifice anyone, if it worked for the 'greater good'.

Did it all balance out in the end?

Maybe it wasn't even about right or wrong. Given their previous chat, Garrus seemed to think it was about justice and punishment. Shepard knew that the Turian's heart was in the right place, but it was a dangerous path to walk down. It could quickly turn to vengeance. The bitterness he'd heard in Garrus' voice worried him, something was eating Garrus from the inside. Something had Garrus believing that quick, brutal punishment was the only way to ensure justice.

Shepard mulled the thoughts over in his head, again and again before putting them away. He would have to figure them out, but later.

Shepard flashed the keycard to the security guard at the garage entrance. The door hissed open and the squad stepped inside. They'd need transport and Shepard was already scrutinizing the vehicles there. A few civilian vehicles which wouldn't hold his squad, much less survive in the roaring Noveria blizzards. There was a Grizzly IFV, however, the precursor to the Mako in the Normandy's cargo bay. They could use that.

"We need a vehicle," Shepard stated, "Let's co-opt that Grizzly. Think you can get us into it, Garrus?"

"Will do, Commander."

"Whoa, hold up," said Ashley suddenly, sweeping the room with her rifle, "We've got movement."

"I don't see anything," That was Kaidan.

"There," Ashley pointed, "Amongst the crates."

Something chittered in the darkness, like a mechanical insect, vaguely familiar to Shepard. "Geth!" hissed Tali, hand dropping to her weapon.

She was right.

* * *

_This is a short chapter, but that's just how it came, hope no one's too disappointed. I've picked up a lot of readers since the last update, it seems. I'm not going to lie, Mass Effect 2 made me put this fic on the backburner. :p An amazing game and I'll definitely continue into it once I finish up _Spectre_. Thanks for the reviews!_


	21. Part IV: Echoes, Ch III Justified Belief

**Chapter III - Justified Belief**

A trail of projectiles stitched their way up the chassis of a groundcar, one that Shepard had crouched behind. Ashley sprayed a burst of suppressing fire and threw herself towards Shepard.

"Looks like half a dozen Geth, sir," reported Ashley as she settled in next to him, "Four of the small ones, one of those big Destroyers. Another one I've never seen before, it's damn fast."

Wrex picked up one of the Geth troopers in both hands and then brought it down on top of a civilian groundcar, crumpling the top of the vehicle under the weight and strength of the blow. The Krogan roared in satisfaction and was already moving towards his next target.

"Garrus, take out that Destroyer!" barked Shepard, placing a burst of mass accelerator fire into the chest of a Geth trooper. It shuddered under the fire and dropped. "Williams! Cover me!"

Shepard surged from cover, raced to another set of crates and machinery. He and Ashley caught another trooper in a crossfire, filled it full of holes, while Liara brought a shipping crate down on another Geth, crushing it against the wall.

Shepard's eyes caught a glimpse of a fast-moving blur, leaping from wall to wall. It had to be the Geth that Ashley mentioned, and Shepard tried to bring his rifle to bear. But Ashley had been right, and its fast erratic leaps made Shepard unable to hit it. Shepard knew he had it when its next leap brought it almost on top of him.

The strange Geth turned its head down from the roof and towards him, already building up a sinister-looking charge around its optics. Shepard launched himself off his right foot, intending to dodge, but was too late.

Red energy played across his combat armor, his helmet HUD cracked with static and interference. He felt the systems in his combat hardsuit seize up, and he toppled to the floor. In spite of this, Shepard tried to fire his rifle - only to find that its heat sinks had overheated. He was paralyzed and powerless.

Electronic warfare.

"Shepard's hit!" That was Ashley, "Someone bring that Geth down!"

But the Geth was fast, much faster than any of the other synthetics. It was leaping from wall to ceiling to floor, compressing itself against any flat surface to give it the smallest possible profile. Ashley and Wrex succeeded in doing little more than blasting holes in the walls until Liara and Kaidan caught the agile Geth in a biotic grip. It was only then that Garrus was able to sight in and blow it away.

"Scratch one Geth," reported Garrus, satisfaction dripping from his words. "Finally."

In that time, Shepard's suit-mounted VI had restored power to most of the hardsuit's basic functions. Luckily the Geth's weapon hadn't shorted out any systems permanently. He managed to force the armor into a kneeling position and, gradually, his armor systems returned.

"You alright, sir?" asked Ashley,

"I'm fine. That Geth's an electronic warfare platform. I think we'll have to make them priority targets. If any of us get stunned like that in a combat situation..."

The deep throb and thrum of the Grizzly's engine announced that Garrus had been successful. "Williams," said Shepard, "You're trained on the Grizzly?"

"Well enough, skipper."

"Good. Let's mount up."

Shepard took a mental headcount. Garrus and Ashley were inside the Grizzly, followed by Liara and Kaidan. Wrex seemed to be making sure all the Geth were destroyed, ambling his way over to each smoking chassis. That left Tali. Where was she? Shepard turned his head left and right, couldn't catch a glimpse of her. "Tali, status?"

Her voice came back from behind a set of crates, "I'm here, Commander."

Shepard found her crouched by the corpse of the strange Geth. She was staring at it quite intently.

"What're you doing, Tali?" Shepard asked,

"Studying this Geth."

"Line 'em up, knock 'em down," came Ashley's voice over the comm. link, "Looked like any other Geth to me."

"I'm not so sure," The Quarian reached down and ran her hand over one of the wounds in the strange Geth. "This is odd," she muttered, "I have never seen a Geth like this before." Tali rubbed her fingers together, smearing the white ichor across the tips. "It looks almost... organic."

"That's impossible," Wrex looked up for a moment, his wanderings having brought him into their line-of-sight, still busy making sure that the Geth were dead. As if to emphasise his point, the Krogan wrenched the cranial case from one of the fallen Geth. It came free in a shower of sparks and white ichor. "See? Machines."

Shepard frowned slightly, recalling the strange musculature and architecture of some of the Geth he had encountered on Eden Prime. He'd thought then that the Geth were more than simple machines. "What does it mean, Tali?"

The hood that surrounded Tali's helmet shifted in a barely perceptible shake. "I'm not sure... If I could capture one for analysis..."

"We'll work on it, Tali," nodded Shepard in a half-lie, "But right now we need to get to that research lab."

He turned back to the Grizzly, "Everyone mount up!"

* * *

The drive towards Peak 15 was a slow one. The Grizzly wasn't the fastest vehicle and Shepard had insisted on caution. While Port Hanshan had a series of navigational beacons to point the way to Peak 15, Shepard didn't want to risk it, visibility was next to zero. An icy plateau, a hidden crevasse, a sudden avalanche - all were dangerous. If they lost the Grizzly they'd freeze to death in Noveria's blizzards.

However, it wasn't just the terrain Shepard was worried about. Benezia had evidently brought Geth with her. Geth could be lurking in the snow, stalking Shepard's team. A Geth Armature, like the one they had encountered on Therum, could damage the Grizzly enough to require the vehicle to be abandoned. There were too many unknowns, but Shepard knew this was the only road available to them.

Ashley turned the Grizzly up a slope, Garrus was riding shotgun and manning the gun turret. Initially Garrus had tried to make small talk, but Ashley had rebuffed him.

"I've heard that Quarians don't exactly have the best reputation, kid." Wrex began shortly after he had liberated the Grizzly's stores of grenades.

Tali looked up from her omni-tool and shrugged. "And some think all Krogan are mindless brutes."

Wrex's face twitched in a small smile, "Do your people ever talk about losing a war against their own slave race?"

"Do your people ever talk about starting a foolish war that resulted in the Turians sterilisng your entire people?" Tali snarked hotly, Wrex once more succeeding in finding a button to press.

Shepard tensed. He admired Tali's fire, but he remembered how Wrex had confronted Garrus on the Citadel over the genophage. Shepard was about to intervene when Wrex burst into laughter.

"All the time," the Krogan bellowed, drowning out everything else in the Grizzly, "I like you, kid. You've got fire."

Tali seemed to be stunned just as Shepard was. "I- thank you, Wrex?" She shook her head, "You really are nothing at all like the stories of Krogan I heard on the Flotilla."

Wrex shrugged in his seat, "I don't doubt it. When you're young, you go looking for every fight you can. You get older? You realise that the best fights find you. That before? That was a good fight."

Liara said nothing. She had said nothing since learning that Benezia was on Noveria and Shepard was worried about her. Reports indicated that Benezia was within the Peak 15 complex, but Shepard had no idea what they would find in the interior. An army of Geth? Asari commandos? Benezia herself? It was likely they would find all of the above.

How would Liara take to being ordered to fight against her own mother? There was only one way to find out.

"How're you holding up?" he asked Liara over a private comm. channel, hoping that their enclosed helmets would muffle their voices. He regretted not asking Liara about it before. He should have pulled her aside earlier, back in Port Hanshan, not having this discussion where everyone could hear. It was sloppy, and Shepard hated being sloppy.

Liara's voice was near-silent over the communications link, "I can't believe that she is here, Shepard."

"It must be hard for you, and I understand, if this was my mother-" Shepard dodged that and moved on, "We need to do this. Look, just stay close to me and keep your head down. If you see the chance to hit something with your biotics, take it. We'll keep you covered."

"Maybe I can persuade her to come peacefully..."

"With any luck she'll surrender," Shepard offered, "But, if it comes down to it Liara, I need to know that you're on my side."

It galled a part of him to think that he was only worried about her because it could impact the mission. Liara was silent for some time. "Benezia's actions are wrong, Shepard. I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to stop Saren."

"That's all I need to hear, Liara. Thank you."

Ashley's voice crackled into Shepard's ear. "We're approaching Peak 15, Commander."

Shepard switched back to the squadwide tactical net, "Any signs of hostiles?"

"Still have absolutely no visual, but there's nothing on the scopes."

"They could be running on minimal power," Tali suggested, "Or in a dropship?"

"Either way," said Shepard, "We won't survive long in the cold. Get us close to the complex, Williams. Can't afford to take chances with this weather."

* * *

They didn't have to go far. The Grizzly pulled up as close as Ashley could get and, after a few moments to verify that there were no Geth in the immediate vicinity, Shepard popped the atmospheric seals on the Grizzly's entrance hatch. For the first time, Shepard stepped onto the true surface of Noveria.

It was cold, to say the least, the freezing winds piercing right through his combat hardsuit. Environmental warnings burst onto his helmet HUD and he could feel the systems of his armor struggling to compensate. His squad couldn't stay outside in this for long.

"Turians don't like the cold," Garrus remarked as he stepped out of the Grizzly and into the howling winds of a blizzard, "Did I ever mention that, Shepard?"

"He's right," Wrex grumbled, "I need to warm up. Find me something to kill."

Shepard waited for a few more seconds, until he was content that there were no Geth waiting to ambush them. He'd much prefer to face them with the Grizzly's additional firepower.

"Williams, take point, move towards the facility entrance. We'll follow."

The squad followed Ashley to the door, and it slid open with an dull grinding sound.

"Door's open," remarked Ashley, "I was looking forward to using some explosives. Not that we have any. I guess that's a bit of an oversight."

"Then she's expecting us," said Shepard, "Anticipate Geth inside the facility." He thought of Liara, faintly remembered the pain of losing a family - it was little more than a phantom memory. "Let's try to take Benezia alive."

"Good," growled Wrex, as he primed a grenade and chucked it through the doorway. The charge detonated, almost impossible to hear over the roaring of Noveria's winds, but it satisfied Shepard that there were no Geth lurking inside. Shepard looked behind him to assess his team, hand out final orders, only to find Tali kneeling in the snow.

She was crouched down, almost on the edge of Shepard's suit-enhanced vision, running her hand through the snow. Had she never seen or felt snow before?

Shepard decided to give her a few more moments. After all, when else would any of them get the chance to see snow again? In a way, it was almost disappointing that they couldn't enjoy it.

After a few seconds, he spoke up. "Tali?"

She looked up, "Oh, right! Sorry, Shepard!" She jogged passed him, seeming almost-chastened.

They swept into the research complex with a gust of Noveria's icy winds. Ashley, Wrex and Garrus fanned out. Shepard waited for a few moments but all three of them sent back an all-clear signal. The place was cast in foreboding shadows from dimly-glowing emergency lighting. A variety of heavy machinery stood derelict and unused, along with crates and other components. Line of sight was shocking, except from the solitary catwalk up above. Any Geth up there could rain death down on Shepard's squad. It was the perfect place for an ambush.

_So why the hell aren't the Geth using it?_

"Looks like the power's out," muttered Kaidan as Wrex, Ashley and Garrus made their way back to Shepard.

"Geth don't need light to see," put in Tali, her fingers playing over the displays of her omni-tool. "But it seems like the majority of the installation's remaining power has been routed to one location."

"Sounds like where we need to be," growled Wrex.

"My thoughts exactly," nodded Shepard, "This is feeling more and more like a trap."

"Good, let's spring it."

"We probably already have," said Ashley quietly, "But I'm not seeing anything."

"Check for explosive charges," Garrus advised, "No idea what they'll have waiting for us."

"My omni-tool's not picking up anything like that," said Tali.

Kaidan nodded, "Me either."

"No soldiers, no explosives... Geth can get sloppy?" Wrex mused, "Doesn't seem right."

"Yeah, well, let's not-"

"Shepard! Movement!" Garrus' sniper rifle swept left and right, searching for something that only the Turian could see.

"Garrus, sitrep?"

"I- Something moved here, Shepard. I think it went up into the vents."

Shepard felt himself being uncomfortably reminded of Akuze. Of a team blundering into a situation with no intelligence. "Are you sure?"

"I didn't get a good look at it," Garrus admitted.

"Benezia's our primary objective," Shepard reminded them, partially to take their thoughts off what Garrus had said. No point in making the squad jittery. "Let's keep moving. Ashley, you're on point."

They moved deeper into the complex, and the lack of Geth resistance didn't serve to put Shepard at ease. There was the possibility that Benezia wasn't here, that Anoleis had duped Shepard, but then why would Benezia have left Geth in the garage? No, Benezia was here. So, where were her guards? Shepard didn't want to think of an Asari Matriarch as incompetent, but the lack of any sort of resistance was odd, to say the least.

Eventually, Ashley's hand shot up and the squad halted. "We've got gun emplacements, Commander."

"Number and size?"

"Two, pretty standard," Ashley stated, "The thing is, they're facing away from us, towards the interior of the facility."

"Huh," shrugged Wrex, "Guess this place wants to keep its own scientists in."

"Makes you wonder just what exactly they're working on here," Kaidan mused.

"Something they don't want anyone to know about. Something that they're willing to kill to keep a secret," Garrus shook his head. "I hate this whole damn place, whole damn planet, actually."

"It's not just that, Vakarian," Ashley said, tapping one of the turrets with her rifle. "Take a close look. These gun turrets have been damaged."

"Looks like some sort of acid," the Turian stated, "And we've got mass accelerator impact craters on the walls."

"Between these gun turrets and Saren's interest I'm willing to bet that whatever's here is nothing good," Shepard said, "Ashley, I'll take point." Like hell he was going to let a member of his squad blunder into the unknown first. Shepard settled into the lead position with a grim smile. People said he was lucky following Akuze and Mindoir, he was about to put that to the test.

"You would think we would have found some scientists by now." said Liara quietly as Shepard quickly checked a side room.

"The Geth aren't in the habit of leaving survivors," Tali remarked.

They made their way into a maze of workstations and desks, Shepard leading with Ashley. The Spectre had the definite sense of a noose tightening, a feeling that was somewhat vindicated by the metallic smacking of mass accelerator fire that lanced into a nearby desk. A pair of Geth troopers stepped from the hallway at the end of the room and raked the area with rifle fire.

"Geth! Cover!"

Shepard ducked into cover and waited for the next volley of fire.

It didn't come.

Shepard edged out of cover, aimed his rifle down towards where the Geth had been.

"What just happened?" asked Garrus, "Where did those Geth go?"

"Retreated?" offered Kaidan,

"Geth don't retreat," said Tali, "A tactical withdrawal, yes, but they wouldn't just stop."

Shepard threw a small item from a workstation down the corridor, there was no response. "Keep your eyes peeled, I think there's something here other than us and the Geth."

Wrex frowned, and took a few moments to examine a cluster of marks on the wall. To Shepard, they looked almost like they were made by some sort of claw. Some sort of native animal?

"What is it, Wrex?"

Wrex ran his hand over the marks and then shook his head, "Let's just keep moving. I'll be right behind you, Shepard."

This place felt like a bomb site to Shepard, with the timer ticking down to zero. Something was wrong here, very wrong and it was beginning to remind Shepard more and more of Akuze. Something was lurking here, something that didn't like the Geth. Something that probably didn't like them. Shepard felt like he was seeing Thresher Maws in every darkened corner, in every shadow.

When Shepard rounded the next corner, he came face to face with something he had never seen before.

It was like a bizarre insectoid hybrid. To Shepard it evoked the imagery of a spider, a lobster, a mantis, a scorpion. All orange carapace, claws and fangs. The creature seemed to size the Shepard up, and then proceeded to scuttle towards him. It screeched and began to pick up speed, claws snapping.

Shepard's savior came in the form of a particularly well-armed Krogan. Wrex's first shot blasted chunks out of the creature's thick carapace, and his second flurry of shotgun shells blasted the creature's head out of existence. Where the creature's blood hit the ground and walls it sizzled and popped on contact.

"I'm guessing we don't want to touch that?" asked Kaidan as the rest of the team rounded the corner.

"Great, genocidal synthetics and bug-eyed alien monsters." Ashley shook her head, "Everywhere we go, something tries to kill us."

"Rachni," growled Wrex, kicking the alien corpse over onto its back to get a better look. A small piece of a Geth dropped from one of its claws. "I knew it. You familiar with 'em, Shepard?"

The name rang a bell, but it wasn't anything that Shepard could recall off the top of his head. "Not quite. You?"

Wrex nodded, his expression grim. "Enough to know that they're serious trouble."


	22. Part IV: Echoes, Ch IV: In Visible Light

**Chapter IV - In Visible Light**

The Rachni were surging towards Shepard's squad, like an inexorable tide of chittering madness. They came out of air ducts, ventilation shafts, maintenance passages, the floors, the roof and were illuminated only by the strobing fire of the squad's weapons. Shepard sprayed fire with his assault rifle, raking the barrel back and forth over the horde.

It was a nightmare.

"Rachni!" snarled Wrex, given completely over to a bloodlust that Shepard had never seen before. The Krogan's shotgun and assault rifle had overheated and Wrex had resorted to crushing the heads of individual Rachni with the stocks of his weapons.

"Everyone fall back!" barked Shepard, "We need to find an alternate route! Kaidan, Tali! Find me one!"

"Commander! If we double back, take a right, there should be another way to our objective!" Kaidan called over the gunfire, "But it's probably filled with more of these things!"

"We'll take that chance! Garrus, Wrex, Williams! Covering fire! Rest of you, fall back!"

"Aim for the small ones!" snapped Wrex to Garrus. The Turian did so, and was rewarded with a green-tinted explosion, acids and ichor splashing over the other Rachni.

Shepard's rifle felt hot in his hands, the weapon rapidly (and close to) reaching its operational limit. He heard Ashley swear and switch to her shotgun. And the Rachni kept coming.

"We've got an open door here!" called Kaidan, "Get inside!"

The withdrawal continued. Garrus swore, and a burst of chattering fire informed him that the Turian had switched to an assault rifle. But Garrus was still an effective marksman, and each burst was expertly targeted at the legs of the Rachni.

"I'm inside," reported Garrus.

Wrex's shotgun boomed next to Shepard, the Krogan was hesitating by the door. His bloodlust was not yet sated and Shepard was sure that Wrex was going to make the Rachni pay for every inch.

"Wrex!" snapped Shepard, "Get inside!"

That was enough. As Wrex moved, Shepard primed a grenade and tossed it along the ground. The Rachni advance seemed to hesitate as many of the creatures turned to determine the nature of the fast-moving object. And then it detonated.

The doors sealed shut and locked. Shepard could still hear the Rachni outside, hissing and clawing at the metal. In the almost pitch-black atmosphere of the room it was a chilling sound. Akuze had sounded similar. "How long will it hold?" he asked.

"They'll leave," Wrex muttered, "Once they realize they can't get through. They'll try to find a softer target, or a way around." He limped slightly. The Krogan was favoring his left leg.

"Wrex," gasped Tali, "You're hit!"

The Krogan's only sound was a low bestial growl for a few seconds, "I'm fine, kid. Should've seen the Rachni." He shook his head, "I don't believe it. Rachni, here? My people wiped them out, Shepard." He paced back and forth, like a caged animal. Every few seconds a snarl would escape his lips. Shepard knew that Wrex was on the verge of losing it completely.

"We'll deal with it, Wrex. Tali, Kaidan, can we re-route some power from this room to our destination? I don't want to fight these things in the dark."

"Sure, Commander," nodded Alenko, "Give us a few moments."

Liara approached Wrex with some medi-gel, the Krogan was still pacing. "Here, Wrex, let me-"

"Save it, Asari, ten credits says you'll all be needing it more than me."

"What I would give for some shredder rounds," commented Garrus idly. His sniper rifle had cooled and was now trained on the door the squad had retreated through.

"Or a grenade launcher," muttered Wrex,

"Or that."

"We've got power," called Tali from the darkness, the light on her helmet providing a strange strobing illumination.

"Flipping the switch," remarked Kaidan.

The lights came on with an audible _fwoomph_, terminals and displays flickering to life, but none of that concerned Shepard. He had noticed something. A large observation window had drawn his attention, and he stared down into what seemed to be dozens of holding cells.

Cells that were filled with Rachni.

The beasts were swarming like mad dogs, hissing and clawing at their enclosures. Many had broken free already. Many were well on the way to doing so.

"Rachni," gasped Kaidan, "Hundreds of them."

"What the hell are they doing with them?" asked Shepard, "Breeding them?"

"That'd be the worst damn idea you Humans have ever had, Shepard," growled Wrex, finally bringing his pacing under control. He settled by the observation window. "This many Rachni means they have a Queen. We need to destroy it."

"We should blow the rest of the labs," Ashley put in, "Can't let a single one of these things out."

"This place has to have a central reactor," Shepard nodded, "We'll turn this place into one huge crater."

"How? I doubt those things will just let us walk down and overload the core."

"This base has to have a VI. All we'd need to do is override its security protocols."

"Easier said than done, skipper. This is Noveria. They'll have hundreds of the damn things."

"I don't doubt it," Shepard admitted, "But we'll take this one step at a time. Come on, let's keep moving."

"The room we're looking for should be just down this hall," Kaidan advised, "I'm not detecting anything on my omni-tool."

"Me either," put in Tali.

"We're not taking chances," said Shepard, "We've seen how the Rachni can ambush us. Let's go."

His squad nodded and followed him into the unknown.

* * *

Kaidan had been correct, and Shepard was thankful for the lack of Rachni inside the room. It was a mass of gantries and catwalks, small alcoves lined with a variety of lab equipment. Shepard noted a collection of containers - oddly enough, about Rachni sized - by the door they had come in from. The lights shone brightly and terminals and equipment hummed in the background noise. Someone had been here, someone could still be here.

If Benezia was here then she was trapped with them. The only way out, at least the only one known to not be filled with angry Rachni, was the one Shepard had entered through.

She was trapped.

A colossal holding tank dominated one side of the chamber, the glass not quite translucent. And inside the tank lurked something huge. It was the size of the Grizzly vehicle they had driven to the research complex in. Perhaps bigger.

And it was watching them. Shepard could feel its gaze upon him, almost as if it was weighing down on his mind. He had the strange thought of something... singing?

"That's the Queen," muttered Wrex, confirming Shepard's suspicions.

"Right," replied Shepard, "Then we'll just find some way to deal with it. We just need something powerful enough-"

A cold voice came from in front of them, and Shepard noticed Liara's eyes widening. That response told him all he needed to know.

"Really? You speak of power when you do not know the privilege of being a mother," came the voice of Matriach Benezia, "There is unlimited power in creation. To shape a life, to turn it towards happiness or despair." The Matriarch stepped out of the shadows, immediately obvious in her flowing robes. She was flanked by a pair of Asari clad in combat armor. The coldness of her voice was matched only by the expression of disdain on her face. "These Rachni were to be ours, to slay Saren's enemies."

"Hold your fire," Shepard said slowly. Benezia paused at the top of the stairs.

"I won't be moved by sympathy," Benezia sneered, settling her eyes on Liara. "No matter who you bring into this confrontation."

"Liara's not here because I forced her," replied Shepard, "She chose this. We don't want to fight."

"Oh? And what have you told them about me, Liara?"

Liara was silent, and then her voice erupted with more intensity than Shepard had expected to hear from her. "What could I possibly tell them, Mother?! That you're insane?! Evil!? What else could I say?! You have to stop this!" Tears were streaming down her face and the words cut Shepard deeply. Liara was suffering, he should have left her on the_ Normandy_.

Benezia just shook her head. "Have you ever faced an Asari commando unit before, Commander Shepard? Few Humans have."

"She's your daughter!"

"And now I realize I should have been stricter with her," said Benezia with a small shrug, as if she were discussing the weather.

Benezia's arm came up, the subtle biotic corona flared for a moment...

And that was when an angry God slapped Shepard aside like a ragdoll, sending his world into darkness.

* * *

"Get up, skipper!"

Consciousness came back to Shepard slowly. He just wanted to sleep.

"Get the fuck up!"

He opened his eyes. Shepard pushed himself up roughly, was hauled into a sitting position by Ashley.

Shepard couldn't tell if he had been unconscious for several minutes or only a few seconds. His breathing felt wrong. Could be a rib. He felt cold air on his neck, the hit had dislodged his helmet seal. Shepard clipped it back into place. His nose was bleeding, maybe one of his ears, and the blood was beginning to pool in his helmet.

Benezia could certainly pack a punch.

"Son of a bitch." Shepard groaned, feeling like a gong had sounded in his ears. If he could just lie down for a few minutes...

"Get the hell up, soldier!" snapped Ashley, her words seemingly indistinct and distant, not quite piercing the ringing that tortured his ears. "We've got Geth and Asari and that bitch Benezia! Move it, Commander!"

But that connected with some sort of instilled instinct that had been drilled into Shepard earlier in his life. Shepard couldn't disobey an order.

"Nice of you to join us, Commander!" That was Garrus, crouched behind the same set of crates, blasting away with his sniper rifle.

"What the hell happened?" Shepard asked,

"Benezia hit us with some biotic crap," Ashley replied, "We'd probably be dead if T'Soni hadn't deflected most of it! We've got Geth and Asari commandos all over the place and we're scattered to hell and back!"

He shouldn't have let Benezia talk. He was stupid to have expected Benezia to come quietly. Saren's right-hand woman would never do such a thing.

He wouldn't make that mistake twice.

"Fine, then the objective's changed." Shepard said, perhaps admitting it to himself. "We kill Benezia. Squad, status report?"

"This is Alenko, Liara, Tali and I are pinned down by Geth! We need support!"

"Tali here! Wrex was with us, but we lost sight of him!"

"Wrex can take care of himself," Shepard replied. The Krogan was the toughest member of their team, Shepard couldn't conceive of anything that could take him down. "Garrus, provide cover. Williams, with me."

"You got a plan, skipper?" asked Ashley,

"Yeah," nodded Shepard, his face grim behind his helmet, "Try not to get killed."

"Fantastic."

Shepard surged from cover, Ashley behind him. He felt rounds ping off his kinetic barriers, felt them drop just as he dove behind a research terminal. He traded shots with a Geth, and then was moving again. To slow down, even for a second, would be to invite Benezia's troops to lock them down with suppressive fire.

"Commander!" called Kaidan. Shepard's helmet HUD indicated his position and led him to his three squad members.

Kaidan, Liara and Tali had hidden themselves in a side room. Kaidan had lost his helmet somewhere, and was bleeding from a head wound. He was pale, and Shepard guessed that Benezia's attack hadn't done good things for the migraine-prone biotic.

"Williams, cover the door!" Shepard barked, before turning his attention to Kaidan. "Are you alright?"

Kaidan just nodded. "I'm fine, but I'm not so sure about Tali," Shepard doubted that Kaidan was 'fine', but let the man keep his pride.

"What do you mean?" asked Shepard, as Kaidan pointed the way.

A smoking Geth, most of its cranial case blown away, lay at Tali's feet. Tali herself was slumped against the wall, one three-fingered hand pressed over a wound in her upper left arm.

The sight of that chilled Shepard. Any wound that Tali suffered could be fatal. _If she..._ "Tali!"

"I'll be fine," she insisted, but Shepard heard her gasp slightly. "My suit has already sealed off the wound. It wasn't a bad hit. I just need to catch my breath, really."

"Stay down, we'll handle this." Shepard advised. "Where's Wrex?"

"I don't know! He ran off, and then I got shot."

"Probably dead then, Commander, if he's not with the rest of us," put in Ashley, turning back for a moment. She leaned back out into the doorway, and was suddenly firing. "Destroyer!"

"No!" snarled Shepard, but the Destroyer was suddenly through the doorway, charging at full speed. Its ocular sensor scanned back and forth, a quick backhand blow knocked Ashley back and it sprayed fire in the direction of Kaidan and Liara. It turned to Shepard, positioning itself between him and the only escape route.

And then Wrex was there.

The Geth Destroyer turned back towards the doorway, tried to swing its heavy weapon to bear on the advancing Krogan, but Wrex grabbed hold of the barrel and wrenched on it hard. The weapon came loose and Wrex threw it aside.

The Destroyer swung its fists at Wrex. A Human's bones would have been pulverized by the impact, as Shepard had found on Eden Prime, but Wrex had the toughness of a Krogan Battlemaster. He weathered the blows and grasped the synthetic's hands in his own. Krogan and Geth found themselves locked, grappling for supremacy. Every inch of the Krogan's muscles were holding the Geth back and then, slowly but surely, attempting to push the synthetic back - one inch at a time.

The two of them struggled out onto the gantries.

And then Wrex began to really push.

The effect seemed to be limited, the Destroyer matching Wrex's strength, until something popped in the synthetic's arm and shoulder, thick white ichor leaking out from somewhere inside the Geth.

The Destroyer abruptly shifted its tactics. It slammed one of its legs into Wrex's own.

Wrex snarled, and went down. He rolled to the side, evading the relentless stomping blows of the Destroyer. The Geth followed, and Shepard knew that Wrex could not prevail.

Shepard squeezed the trigger of his rifle, peppering the Destroyer with rounds. The Geth turned towards Shepard, seemed to sum him up, and then turn back towards the injured Krogan.

It was all the time Wrex needed. He heaved the Geth Destroyer over the edge of the catwalk.

"Shepard," nodded Wrex. Shepard wasn't sure if he was gawking or not, and silently resolved to never get on Wrex's bad side.

A volley of fire splintered a section of the catwalk into pieces, and Shepard ducked back inside. He lost sight of Wrex. Benezia's two Asari bodyguards had stepped out and were now spraying fire with high-powered assault rifles. Shepard guessed that even a single burst could drop his kinetic barriers.

He needed a distraction. Tali was injured, Kaidan was practically incapacitated...

"Liara!"

"Shepard?"

"Take out those hostiles!"

Liara nodded and poked her pistol around the corner before ducking back into place. She hadn't fired.

"What happened?" snapped Shepard, "Are they in cover?"

"They're Asari..." whispered Liara, cradling her pistol in her hands, "I can't..."

"They don't know that! Fire above their heads, suppress them!" Shepard ordered, and as Liara obeyed, he readied his rifle.

The two Asari were ducking and weaving for cover. Shepard leaned out and fired twice. Benezia's bodyguards dropped, their combat hardsuits shattered, blood fountaining from mass accelerator impacts. Shepard could certainly understand Liara's psychological block but, fortunately for him, he didn't have the same problem.

In some sense that disgusted him.

Shepard was already moving to a better firing position. He just needed to draw line of sight on Benezia.

_There._

He sighted in on Benezia and fired. A direct hit. But Benezia didn't drop, and Shepard realised that the projectiles had been slowed and stopped. A biotic barrier. Shepard had seen Wrex use a similar technique. But Shepard would bet good money that Benezia's technique was just as stressful as Wrex's had been. If they could just weaken that barrier...

"Focus fire on Benezia! Bring her down!"

Their weapons certainly couldn't do it fast enough, Shepard realised as Wrex and Garrus' weapons were defeated by the barrier. This was the control of gravity, of mass, of the very forces that bound the universe together. What could Shepard, a soldier with a rifle, hope to do against that?

And then Shepard realised that he didn't need to do anything.

"Kaidan! Wrex! Liara!" Shepard barked, "Rip down Benezia's barrier!"

"Yes, sir!" came back Kaidan's stoic reply. The almost invisible fields around Benezia shifted, but it wasn't enough. After a few moments, Wrex drew line-of-sight to Benezia and began his own biotic assault. And still nothing. They needed Liara.

"I can't!" was Liara's response. She'd faltered.

_God-_damnit_._

Shepard was about to reply when he came under Geth fire. He ducked back into cover as a burst of Geth fire raked its way towards him. Garrus sniped the final Geth before a biotic strike from Benezia sent Garrus sprawling, dislodging the Turian and sending him scrambling for cover.

"Do it Liara or we're all dead!" Shepard snapped. He sprayed a burst of fire in Benezia's direction, but it was for naught. Benezia turned and a powerful biotic attack ripped a section of nearby floor plating away, sending a section of catwalk down towards the distant ground.

It galvanized Liara into action. The young Asari's biotic field flared as Liara prepared to unleash her formidable talents, the same power that could crush a fully armored Krogan. Something rippled almost imperceptibly over Benezia's form, distorting and warping her image - but only for a moment.

Benezia seemed to realize what was happening, but far too late.

Now Shepard had a shot at Benezia, a real shot. He took it.

The Matriarch dropped to one knee, the burst of assault rifle fire having ripped through her kinetic barriers. She bit off a scream as Shepard advanced quickly, keeping his rifle trained on her.

"Stand down, Lady Benezia," he growled, "You're under arrest."

"This is not over," spat Benezia, trembling from what Shepard guessed was pain and exertion, "Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear." Blood was trickling from the wound. With time it'd be a mortal one.

"Any further resistance and I _will_ shoot you," Shepard said, not letting his aim drop for a moment.

Benezia groaned, clutching at her head, the groan turning into a shriek. "Shepard! You must listen. Saren still whispers in my mind, I can fight his compulsions briefly... but the indoctrination is strong."

Shepard didn't lower his weapon. "You'll understand if I don't believe you." It was awfully convenient, and Shepard never trusted convenient.

"I don't expect you to. People are not themselves around Saren. You come to idolize him, worship him. You would die for him. You sit at his feet and his words flood into you. I thought... I thought I was strong enough to resist, but instead I-"

"-ended up like everyone else. I don't care about that. What're you doing here on Noveria?"

"The Mu Relay," she gasped out, "A lost relay... a star went supernova, it propelled the relay out of its home system. Its precise speed and vector... impossible to determine. It is difficult to find a cold object in space, particularly one swathed in the hot radioactive clouds of a nebula."

"So who found it?"

Benezia weakly gestured to the Rachni Queen, still held in its (her?) tank.

"They used to inhabit this region of the galaxy. The Rachni can share memories across generations, in this way Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I..." she shuddered once, coughing. '...took the location from the Queen. I was not gentle."

"If you want to undo some of the harm you've wrought, you'll hand over the data on the relay."

"Of course." Benezia slid a small disc across the floor, "Take it, please, I don't know how much longer I can-" Benezia coughed, brought up blood. A detached part of Shepard's mind told him that she wasn't long for the living now. Another part knew he could save her. Benezia was still speaking: "You've always made me proud, Liara."

Benezia turned back from her daughter, to face Shepard. "You have to stop him! Head to Feros, you might still be able to-" she rasped, her voice was insistent now, spitting out words with a fierce fervor. "Shepard! Beware of Sovereign! It is the key! If you remember nothing else, remember that! His teeth are at my ear... fingers on my spine..."

At the word Sovereign, something seemed to form on the edges of Shepard's mind. A dark and terrible image, almost like some deep sea leviathan, buzzing with the insistence of the Prothean legacy. And then it sank into something and was gone.

Benezia brought her hand up, surrounded by a nimbus of biotic energy. Shepard flexed a finger and shot her without a second thought.

The Asari Matriarch slumped backwards against the Rachni Queen's containment chamber, blood smearing across the glass. "Thank you, Shepard."

"Mother! No!" screamed Liara, pushing past Shepard, weeping openly. "We've got medi-gel, we can-"

Benezia shuddered terribly, "No! No... I'm not myself, I never will be again." Her head turned to look at Liara, but her eyes weren't quite focused. "Good night, little wing. I will see you again... with the dawn." She reached out to brush her child's cheek, and the simple touch caused Liara to cry out, a wailing sound that rattled Shepard to his core.

Benezia's ragged breaths began to slow. "No light? There always... said there would be..." And Benezia's breath faded away with a rasping death rattle.

Silence.

* * *

_I didn't really enjoy writing this chapter, and I think it might falter a bit in the middle. Because of that, I got stuck in my usual endless revisions until I realised that, once again, I just wouldn't be that happy with it._


	23. Part IV: Echoes, Ch V: Reflexivity

**Chapter V - Reflexivity**

Liara's wailing eventually quietened down to mere mournful sobbing. The Asari clung to Kaidan's arm and couldn't look at her mother's corpse. Kaidan, for his part, didn't quite seem to know what to do with her.

The Rachni Queen was almost motionless in its prison, utterly silent. It was only the fact that its (her?) multiple sets of luminescent eyes were following Shepard that let him know it was even alive. He stepped close and further appraised the gargantuan creature, pulling his helmet off to get a better look. Behind him, his team bickered.

Ashley looked over the glass cage, a few steps behind Shepard. "People have been thinking the Rachni extinct for a thousand years. We'd just be finishing the job, sir, hell, it's not like anyone would know. We were going to blow the place anyways."

"It's not as simple as that, Ash," said Kaidan, "I don't think this is our decision to make."

"So, what? Just hand it over to the Council? They would just kill it anyway, Alenko. It's die now, or die later."

Liara was appalled. "She has done nothing to us, Shepard!"

"But the rest of her people did!" Wrex snapped, "How will the Council stop them again, now that they've crippled my people? End her, Shepard. Now."

"Genocide is illegal, Shepard," Garrus stated, "You can't just exterminate them! Genocide was one of the reasons we fought the Kr-"

Tali shot in quickly, "Illegal or not, sometimes it has to be an option!"

Garrus shook his head, "You cannot be-"

"The Geth must be eliminated! My people must reclaim our home, if we have to destroy the Geth down to the last synthetic, then so be it!"

"Completely different, Tali. You need to understand context."

Tali whirled on Garrus, "What? Are you saying that you're on the Geth's side? That it isn't an option?"

"I'm not having this conversation," replied Garrus.

Their bickering faded into the recesses of Shepard's mind. Something else probed at his mind, slipping around almost like an eel, before withdrawing. Once more, all he could consider was an odd sort of song.

His arm was starting to ache again, now that the adrenaline from the fight was wearing off. The medi-gel dressing wasn't designed for prolonged periods of heavy fighting and the wound throbbed. Shepard just wanted to finish this and go home.

Home, now there was a funny word...

He'd completed his mission, discovered intelligence on Saren, confirmed the rumors of Geth on Feros, and the destruction of this facility would surely ensure the complete obliteration of any and all Rachni - Queen or not. So, why was he lingering?

There were no standing orders for this sort of situation, and the Queen didn't seem to be hostile. What the hell was he supposed to do?

"Shepard!" That was Garrus' voice, "Behind you!"

Shepard spun on his heel, brought his gun up, and found himself staring directly into Benezia's eyes. She took a step towards him.

Acting entirely on reflex, Shepard fired, ignoring the pain that lanced up his arm.

Benezia's body jerked and staggered like a macabre puppet under Shepard's burst of fire, but she didn't go down, nor did she make any hostile movements.

"What the hell?" muttered Shepard.

Benezia's body and face twitched in small spasms, as if she was learning to talk and express herself once again. And, when she did, her face was oddly tranquil. "This one serves as our voice. We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless." Her voice had a strange almost otherworldly quality to it, and Shepard wasn't quite sure if it was his ears or his mind that were picking up on it. He was pretty sure he knew who was speaking to them.

"You're the Rachni Queen, aren't you?"

"We are the mother," she responded through the puppet, "We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We are Rachni."

"How the hell are you speaking through Benezia? I shot her."

"Our kind sing through touchings of thought. We pluck the strings, and the other understands. She is weak to urging. She has colors we have no names for. But she is ending. Her music is bittersweet. It is beautiful."

"A telepathic connection," Kaidan muttered, "That's amazing."

But Shepard frowned. He didn't like it. It was perverse, that the Rachni would manipulate someone's corpse into serving as their 'voice'. "Is there any possibility that you could speak through another... vessel?"

There was a pause. "We do not understand. The music of the others has already ended. We can no longer pluck the strings, touch their thoughts."

_Then I guess we have to deal with this._ "Lieutenant, do you think you can take Tali and Liara, find an active VI conduit? It's time we get ready to blow this place."

Kaidan nodded, "Will do, sir."

The Rachni Queen seemed to agree. "The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. They are lost to silence. Our elders are comfortable with silence, children know only fear if no one sings to them. Fear has shattered their minds. End their suffering. They cannot be saved. They will only cause harm as they are."

From behind, Wrex snorted.

"Before you deal with our children, we stand before you. What will you sing? Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?"

_My decision? Just how secure is that tank?_

"You need to understand that the only experience we have had with your species is through warfare," Shepard began, "This is a difficult decision. How can I trust you? What will you do if I release you?"

"We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return."

"And not on the warpath? You won't try for revenge?"

"We - _I_ - do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance. Songs the color of oily shadows."

Shepard rolled that thought around in his head. "You don't know what happened in the Rachni War?"

"We do not know. We were only an egg, hearing mother cry in our dreams. A tone from space hushed one voice after another. It forced the singers to resonate with its own sour, yellow note. Then we awoke in this place. The last echo of those who came out of the Singing Planet. The sky is silent."

Compulsion. Shepard thought of Benezia, of how what she had done wasn't of her own volition.

What if the Rachni had waged war under similar duress?

The Queen could be lying. The giant alien was obviously telepathic, could have perhaps picked up on Benezia's conversation with Shepard, could be now feeding him with a story that would ensure her freedom. It would be exactly what Shepard would do. After all, when imprisoned by the enemy, the first duty of a soldier was to escape.

But Shepard was also beholden to other duties.

Kaidan's voice came over Shepard's helmet. "We've cracked the station VI, sir. We'll be able to overload the reactor core at your word."

"Good work, return to my position. Let's get out of here."

Shepard needed to figure out what to do with the alien, and he had to do it now. He turned away from the Rachni Queen's prison, "We have to take this Rachni at her word. And, to be perfectly honest, I'm not content with leaving her to die when we send this place to hell. Alliance regulations oblige me to assist any person, be they human or alien."

"Not a Rachni," Wrex growled, his yellow eyes filled with an intensity that Shepard had never seen before, "Don't you get it? She's a Rachni Queen, Shepard. She has the capability to restore their entire race! Millions of my ancestors died fighting them! My people didn't go through everything they have in order to let them live! She's manipulating you into letting her out!"

"The war's over, Wrex. This would be murder, hell, _genocide_."

"It's _never_ over, Shepard. Not against something like_ that_."

"And that's purely how you'll judge her? She wasn't even involved in the war, Wrex! You've said you'd prefer it if people looked at your race as individuals, and that your own people could go beyond their own nature. This is that chance, Wrex."

Wrex shook his head and shot Shepard a glare that felt like it'd blast straight through his kinetic barriers, "That is completely different, Shepard."

Shepard knew that Wrex was different to the average Krogan, with an attitude that leaned (almost idealistically) towards thinking for the future. The discussion between them may be have been tense, but it was still a discussion. Any other Krogan would have attempted to crush his bones into dust for even considering the possibility of sparing the Rachni. Beneath Wrex's aggressive exterior lay a mind that was just as sharp as his teeth. All Shepard had to do was reach it.

And not got bitten.

"Is it, Wrex?" insisted Shepard, "Is it? I will not murder an unarmed prisoner based on what she may or may not do. Everyone is more than their species." Shepard paused, "But Kaidan was right - this is bigger than any one of us. So, we're going to vote for it. You want to commit genocide? Then you all damn well better be ready to push that button."

Silence reigned. Shepard found himself wondering if he'd made a mistake. There was no way he could stop Wrex if the Krogan wanted to - really wanted to - exterminate the last of the Rachni.

Wrex exhaled, vented some of his frustration. It didn't dispel any of the tension in the chamber. "You have a point, Shepard. But... if this is a mistake, I will rip your head clean from your shoulders."

"And I'll let you," nodded Shepard, he turned to his team. "Anyone else?"

"Murder... genocide... It's all illegal," stated Garrus, still as resolute as he had been. "And this is different to the Genophage."

"She's not a Geth," said Tali, "And she gave us her word."

Kaidan shrugged, "If it's a choice between killing her and letting her go, then I say we should just let her go, Commander."

"The Krogan went too far," said Liara, "Maybe this Queen can atone for what her ancestors did."

Finally, Ashley shook her head, "Sorry, sir, but I swore to protect my sisters from things like that. Not to release them. But..." She was hesitating, unable to pull the trigger this once. "You're the CO, skipper, it's not my call to make."

Shepard weighed up the information that he had the best he could and came to a decision.

He couldn't, in good conscience, annihilate a sentient creature. Self-defence, on the battlefield, that was completely different to what Shepard now faced. If the Queen had been alive in the war, had ordered her children to attack a multitude of worlds then it'd be different. But this would be murder, he'd be murdering a prisoner.

It wasn't just the fact that Shepard had regulations and oaths to follow. There was something utterly morally repugnant to Shepard about making someone pay for the crimes of their fathers or, in this case, their mothers.

It was the aspect of Shepard that Kahoku had nurtured, the appreciation of art and life, that wouldn't allow him to wipe out such a unique and oddly beautiful lifeform.

The Rachni had paid for their war, their civilisation has been extinguished by the Krogan, reduced to brief notes in history books. Shepard estimated that it would be years before they could ever become a threat - and that was only if the Rachni Queen wasn't being honest in her desire for peace. It would be more than enough time for them to learn how to co-exist.

And, from a pragmatic standpoint, having a powerful alien that essentially owed absolutely everything to him could become a powerful ally.

But the Rachni _were_ dangerous. In a way, Wrex was completely right. They'd waged a devastating war, once. If not for the Krogan they probably would have wiped out most, if not all, of the Citadel species. And a swarm of what seemed to amount to Rachni children had turned the Peak 15 research station into a charnel house. What if the Rachni Queen couldn't control her children? What would happen to Noveria?

As a Spectre, he got to have the final say. It was entirely his own prerogative. It was an intoxicating sensation, but one that he realised he could get used to. The Council had appointed him as a Spectre to deal with exactly this sort of situation, hadn't they?

He wondered how they'd react to this decision.

"We won't wipe you out," Shepard said finally, "You can go free."

The Benezia-puppet's face twitched repeatedly before speaking. "You... you give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children."

"Don't make me regret this," Shepard warned as he moved over to the controls. He tapped one and it gave an angry beep. "Tali, can I get a hand here with these controls?"

The Quarian practically bounced over, always eager, although she kept her distance from the Rachni Queen. After a few moments, Tali had most of the controls deciphered and unlocked. After a few moments more, she had the Rachni Queen's prison descending down towards the distant floor. Shepard could hear something opening with a hiss of atmosphere.

The Benezia puppet slumped to the ground, its telepathic connection severed. Shepard couldn't help but check her vitals, but her life had ended the moment the Queen had cut the conduit.

The Rachni Queen was free. Shepard looked down and could just make out the colossal creature.

He hoped he wasn't making a mistake.

"Great," sighed Wrex, who had moved far away to glower on the other side of the platform, "Bugs are writing songs about us. Mark my words, Shepard, you'll regret this. And my species will have to clean it up, just like we did for the Salarians."

Shepard tapped a few quick commands on the console, brought up a small map. If he was correct in his analysis, the Rachni Queen would find her way outside. The frozen wastes of Noveria would be a hard life for the insectoid alien, perhaps even fatal, but Shepard would be at least giving her a shot.

He regarded the Queen for a long moment, feeling the most profound sense of wonderment and that now somewhat familiar feeling of a mental touch. A surge of singing, of bright insects with scintillating carapaces and luminescent eyes, dancing behind his own.

"Maybe so, Wrex." Shepard said as he watched and felt the Rachni behemoth scuttle away into the darkness. "But everyone deserves a second chance."

* * *

_I wrote the vast majority of this chapter before attempting any other part of Noveria. I'm pretty happy with it. I'm curious to see how it compares. And happy Easter!_


	24. Part IV: Echoes, Ch VI: Listen

**Chapter VI - Listen  
**

"Doctor," Shepard began with a smile, "How're our patients?"

Doctor Chakwas looked up from her desk and smiled, pushing her grey hair back behind one ear. "We have three stubborn patients. Lieutenant Alenko is fine, some painkillers should take care of the worst of what he suffered down there, although he has a bump on the back of his head that is of an almost unbelievable size. Miss Zorah has a series of bruises, a gunshot wound and a bit of a fever. She tells me she can take care of it herself. And Wrex being Wrex refused treatment."

Shepard felt an odd surge of pride. "That sounds like my squad. Can I see them?"

"Certainly, Commander."

Inside, Kaidan was already pulling on his uniform shirt and boots. "Doctor, Commander, with all due respect, I'm going to lose it if I don't get out of here."

Shepard looked to Chakwas, "By the sounds of it you're fit to return to active duty."

"Certainly am, Commander. These headaches are nothing to be concerned about."

"That's almost definitely the painkillers talking," Chakwas said as she shook her head, "You were practically incoherent when Liara dragged you in here. But if I really can't convince you to relax for a bit, Lieutenant..."

Kaidan shook his head, "I can manage, Doctor."

Shepard nodded, "Then you can assist Pressly in plotting a course through the Attican Beta cluster to Feros."

Kaidan bent down to tie his boots, "We're heading there immediately?"

"Correct. We can't afford to give Saren any more time than we already have."

"Understood, sir. I'll get straight to work." Kaidan snapped a smart, regulation salute and departed the medical bay.

From behind him, Chakwas spoke up. "I have something I need to take care of, Commander." He could hear the gentle smile in her voice.

He didn't like that. She obviously thought that he'd strike up some sort of conversation with Tali. Well, he was only here to check on the members of his crew. They all had to be at their best, Human or alien. Shepard didn't know why so many people decided to poke and prod at his past, at his personal life. It was irrelevant to the mission. No one aboard the _Normandy_ needed to know the particulars.

Because how would any of them react to his past? Shepard didn't need - and certainly didn't want - the sympathy, or the pity. He'd survived this far without it.

Because what if they found out how little of him was actually left?

Still, in a way, it was fine. If Tali managed to pull some sort of secret out of him with that infectious enthusiasm of hers, then she'd be the only one to hear it.

That, Shepard reflected, wasn't so bad. It could certainly be worse.

"How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine," remarked Tali from the medical bed, "I'm just running a bit of a fever!" She pushed herself up so she was reclining against the wall. She was, as always, clad in her environmental suit. "And it's not even that bad, really."

Shepard smirked, "Nice to see you're still spirited."

"And there's things I could be doing! Adams needs my help, I know it. It wasn't even that bad a hit! I'd patched the hole even before we returned to the _Normandy_. Go on, check it! Good as new!"

Shepard slowly, and more than a bit gingerly, reached out and rubbed the newly-repaired seal on Tali's suit.

"Nice work," he said, "How often do you end up conducting suit repairs?"

Tali shook her head, "I prefer not to. My kinetic barriers can generally stop any stray shots, but we all saw what Benezia could do."

"It's just that, with your species' immune system, I figured it's better to be safe than sorry."

Tali seemed to just stare at him for a few seconds. "Shepard, if we were so vulnerable that a small suit breach could be fatal then we'd have all been wiped out a long time ago."

"Oh. Right." Shepard suddenly felt very stupid. It wasn't a feeling he was used to.

"But..." said Tali after a moment, her voice a slight touch quieter, "I appreciate the concern. Thank you."

There was an awkwardness now, or maybe it was just the first time that Shepard had really noticed it. He was unsure as how to proceed.

In the end, he decided to fall back on the familiar. "Well, we'll be taking the _Normandy_ to Feros within the next few days. Will you have recovered by then? If the Geth are assaulting Feros then we've got a tough road ahead of us. We'll certainly need your knowledge and expertise."

"Of course, Shepard. It'll take more than a few Geth to stop me."

Shepard smiled. "Good. There's no slackers on the _Normandy_, I promise you that. Get some rest."

And then Tali sneezed. "Oh, great. Now I've got to take this off and clean it again." She sighed and rested her head back.

"That's probably not as bad as dealing with the Council," Shepard grinned. "I should go,"

"Have fun with that, Shepard," Tali chirped as he made his way to the door.

In all honesty, Shepard knew he had been putting off his need to report to the Council.

They hadn't reacted well to the destruction of a Prothean ruin on Therum. How would they react to his treatment of the Rachni? They had fought a war with them, but Shepard knew why he had done it, and was more than ready to defend his choice. They needed him, just as he needed them. Shepard was cunning enough to realize that it gave him a certain amount of leeway.

Alienating the Council, however, was probably not the most sound move he could have made. Shepard was a soldier. He could deal with threats he could touch, see, feel and kill, but he wasn't an idiot.

The political battleground was far more fluid. And, perhaps, far more dangerous.

After taking a few minutes to establish a secure connection, the familiar three figures of the Citadel Council faded into life in the hologram suite. The Asari spoke first, "Greetings, Commander Shepard. I assume you have something to report?"

_Do I ever..._ "Benezia is dead," he stated, "Saren had brainwashed her."

The Asari Councilor looked to her two companions, "I see. This is most troubling."

"That's not all. In the Peak 15 facility my team and I encountered Rachni-"

"Commander Shepard, did you say _Rachni_?" The Councilors glanced at each other.

"I did. A research facility had been breeding them, apparently under orders from Saren. According to Benezia, Saren planned to use them as shock troops. I overloaded the complex's reactor core and destroyed the entire facility. The mission was a success and Feros is my next target, Benezia confirmed the rumors of Geth on the planet. I will be taking the _Normandy_ there as soon as possible."

"Good work, Shepard-"

"However, there is one slight complication." Shepard mentally steeled himself, now it was time to face the music. "There was an imprisoned Rachni Queen. In accordance with Systems Alliance regulations, I offered assistance to the Queen-"

The Turian Councilor exploded. "You _what_?!"

"-and secured her safe passage into the Noveria wastes. She had been experimented on by the scientists there, and tortured by Matriarch Benezia."

"You released the Queen!? Do you realize what you've done?!"

Shepard knew exactly what he had done. He had the orders and regulations of the Systems Alliance memorized. "'Systems Alliance personnel are required to answer distress calls and provide assistance to any vessel and/or organization not currently involved in hostilities against Earth.'" he quoted, "The Rachni War ended long ago, and we were never a part of it."

"Semantics. You answer to _us_, Shepard," growled the Turian.

"And you told me that any decision made during this mission is my sole prerogative. The Rachni Queen falls under that. You may not like it, Councilor, but morally and legally it was the right thing to do."

The Turian looked as if he was going to push the matter further, but the Salarian interrupted. "Perhaps we shouldn't criticize Commander Shepard's actions. He does have a point."

The Turian turned to face his counterpart, "Do either of you know how many generations it will be until the Rachni wipe us out?! And this time we won't have the Krogan!"

Shepard bit his tongue and didn't take the easy bait that involved telling the Turian what exactly he thought of the Genophage. That perhaps the Council should have considered the ramifications before unleashing their bioweapon. He just shook his head, "I don't think she will. I'd go so far as to say she won't. She understands why her people had to be wiped out. She'll keep her children in-line, or at least try her best to curb any expansion."

The Turian snorted, "'Try'. I hope you're right, Shepard. Otherwise, our children's children will be paying the price of your decision."

An uneasy, tense silence hung in the air before the Asari Councilor decided to speak. "We will be awaiting your next report, Commander."

The holograms of the Council faded away, and Shepard let out a breath that he hadn't been aware he was holding. It certainly hadn't gone badly, but it felt like he had done nothing more than bludgeon his head against a brick wall.

Shepard passed Pressly and Kaidan, analyzing paths and routes on the galaxy map, as he made his way to the CO's quarters, "XO Pressly, you have the bridge for the next hour. I am not to be disturbed."

"Aye, sir."

Shepard's quarters were only a short walk from the communications room. The familiarity of the place, even spartan as it was, calmed his nerves immediately.

Commander Shepard loosened his collar and unbuttoned his uniform. He sat back in the chair at his desk, muted the shipboard intercom, and closed his eyes. He wouldn't sleep, they had to reach Feros as soon as possible. He just needed to think, but he couldn't allow himself the luxury of relaxation. Not yet. The Council had left her flustered and filled with a familiar frustrated energy, one that Shepard intended to put to good use.

He knew that he and his squad had come too close to death on Noveria. Far too close.

While many people could let the matter rest, especially since no one had come to any serious harm, Shepard would not. He could not. It gnawed at him, the possibility that it could have gone differently. That they - the people under his command, the people who trusted and looked to him for guidance - all could have died.

Whether he deserved that trust and respect was a moot point. He wouldn't run that risk again. He wouldn't fail them.

And what to do about Liara? She was inexperienced, to say the least. His squad would only be as strong as its weakest link. If he could not count on her to do her job in their next combat situation then perhaps he would have to remove her from the combat roster.

She was practically a civilian.

She wasn't that different to how Shepard had once been, but that felt like it was so long ago. Almost another life. Still, she wasn't beyond saving. Shepard considered asking Garrus to train Liara. It would make Liara less of a liability, and give the Turian something to work on instead of letting him grow restless in the cargo hold.

That was one problem solved, and it would now let Shepard concentrate on a far more complex situation.

Liara needed basic combat training, hard and fast. Ashley's problems ran much deeper, and Shepard wasn't sure if they could be solved. He brought up her file on his computer terminal. He'd reviewed it before, when she had first joined the _Normandy's_ crew, but there was the small chance he had missed something.

Her record was impressive, to say the least. She underwent training in the Alliance Marines back on Earth, Brazil to be precise, with zero-gee training in orbit and hostile environment training on Titan. Shepard could best describe her scores as exemplary. A commendation for a field exercise against a Turian fortification and on top of that commendation (and promotion) were a host of glowing reports from her drill instructor, commanding officers and others she had served with.

Shepard paused for a moment. Her record was far too good for her to be relegated to a frontier world like Eden Prime. He noted numerous requests for transfer to another posting, always denied by Alliance command.

Something was eating away at Ashley Williams, Shepard knew, something that had been eating away at her for a long time. He could see it in her spotless record, her perfect regulation posture and hair, the clipped precise tone of her voice. Nothing in her file gave any indication of what that could be, but Shepard was not in the mood to let it continue for any longer.

He tapped a finger down on the ship-wide intercom. "This is the Commander. Gunnery Chief Williams is requested to report to the captain's cabin for debriefing."

A few moments later, Ashley strode through the doorway and paused just inside. "Reporting as ordered, sir."

Shepard nodded, and didn't tell her to be at ease.

"Williams, I'm getting the distinct impression that you don't look fondly upon certain members of this crew."

Ashley went to open her mouth, but Shepard continued. "Don't look so surprised, you're not the only member of the crew who feels this way. I can certainly understand how difficult Wrex can be. However, at best, unlike the others, you do not seem to be acclimatizing to them. At worst, you can be downright hostile. I've viewed your record, and this forces me to ask why there is such resistance."

"I don't like working with aliens, sir. Never have." That much was obvious to Shepard. Ashley was stonewalling.

"I see. But like it or not, Williams, this is a multinational vessel in the service of the Citadel Council. That means we work with the aliens, and that they are treated like any other member of the crew. If you don't want to treat them like crew members, then treat them like guests. I expect every member of this crew to uphold this standard, at least until the end of this current crisis. Chief Williams, are you able to ensure that you will be able to meet my expectations?"

"I'll try my best, sir."

Shepard drew himself up and placed himself directly in Ashley's eyeline. She met his gaze unflinchingly. "And is your best better than what I've seen from you?"

Ashley's face flickered slightly. "Sir, permission to speak freely?"

"Granted. Let's get this out."

"Alright," She seemed to compose herself, "Sir, I understand that things are different on the _Normandy_ but, with all due respect, should _they_ - the aliens - have full access to the ship?"

Shepard frowned. "Have any of the three given you any reason to think this, Williams?"

"Sir, this is the most advanced warship in the Alliance navy. I don't think we should give them free reign to poke around in the vital systems. We don't know what they could be doing. I know Adams' lets Tali work unsupervised. Garrus and Wrex have full access to the weapons locker and the Mako."

She had dodged the question, and had disregarded that the _Normandy_ was a joint Turian/Human design. Shepard filed that away. Maybe she had answered it. Whatever it was, whatever was causing Ashley to feel that way, it was buried deeply. If Shepard could just break through to it, then perhaps he could forge a real connection - and finally solve this problem. "Have the three aliens _on this vessel_ given you any reason to doubt them?" A pause. "I'm asking for your frank opinion, Chief."

Ashley hesitated slightly. "Let me explain. The Council's has had a grudge against us since the First Contact War, sir. They're not our allies. We, Humanity, I mean, have to learn to rely on ourselves. As noble as the Council members seem now, if their backs are against the wall, they'll abandon us. This isn't racism, sir, not really. Members of their own species will always be more important to them than Humans are."

Shepard still doubted that that was the real answer, but it was more than enough to cause concern. That was the rhetoric uttered by groups like Terra Firma, a dogma that played upon fear and ignorance. Shepard put aside just why Ashley felt that way for a moment. He was _not_ going to have that on his ship, especially not if he was a symbol of Humanity.

"If that's truly what you believe, Williams, then you are unfit to wear the uniform of the Systems Alliance." He took a step toward her, and she shifted, taking on a posture that'd leave her prepared for any assault. For a moment, Shepard wondered if she'd hit him.

"This uniform means something to me, Williams." Shepard continued, "The Alliance means something to me. It means doing your best every time, performing to the best of your abilities. It means you do not give up, no matter how tired, frustrated, angry or bored you might be. It means that you devote yourself not only to the Alliance, but to the ideals behind the Alliance." His voice lowered, but did not lose its edge. "It does not mean that we take a hostile view of those men and women who fight alongside us just because they look different. And that we don't let fear and ignorance cloud our judgments. I can arrange a transfer off the _Normandy_, if that is what you wish, and you can serve on a Alliance vessel that isn't in the service of the Council. However, if you choose to remain, and continue how you have been, I _will_ bring you up on charges. Those are your _only_ choices. Do I make myself clear?"

There was a gentle knock at his door.

"This better be important," snapped Shepard. Who the hell could this be?

The door slid open, and Admiral Kahoku poked his head in. That was the last person that Shepard expected to see. "It is, but if you're busy..."

"Sir!" Shepard snapped a precise salute, hoping his surprise wasn't too evident. Why had no one told them they had an Admiral onboard? "You're dismissed, Chief." After Ashley had left, Shepard turned to Kahoku. "I apologize. It's been a long day-"

"At ease, Commander," Kahoku waved a dismissive hand, "It's quite alright. I was just passing through the sector." The Admiral's gaze lingered on Shepard's spartan quarters, on the medals that Shepard had achieved which were the only real sign that someone lived inside the room "You don't have much here."

"No, sir."

"Somewhat cold, wouldn't you say?"

"Perhaps, sir. But I've never been very 'warm.'"

Kahoku's face fell at that, but only slightly. "Perhaps." Kahoku shrugged, "But this isn't a social visit, John. I hate to interrupt your mission, but I've uncovered something. Something that I could not afford to transmit over open channels. It involves my survey teams. My marines were lured to a certain, predetermined location. There, they were set upon by Thresher Maws."

"Similar to-" Shepard's words died in his throat as nightmare images played themselves out within his mind. He'd told himself that it was an accident, that no one could have known, that no one was directly responsible. It prevented him from dwelling upon it. What Kahoku was implying was simply impossible.

"Akuze, yes." Kahoku nodded reassuringly, "That means if something is happening, John, then it has been going on for quite some time."

"Someone was behind it..." Shepard's voice was low, and he felt the familiar almost-friendly feeling of cold anger, felt himself beginning to pace. It had been a while since he had felt it, having had it locked up behind rules and regulations. Revenge. "What do we do?"

"We don't do anything, Commander. Not yet. We need more information. If we move too fast, if we dig too far, I think they will move against us. They won't risk having their secrecy compromised. And, most of all, we're not ready. We need to be in a counter position, ready to intercept them when they make their move."

Shepard was puzzled. "Who is 'they'?"

"That is what I'm not sure about," Kahoku admitted, "Whoever they are, they have support from elements of the military, perhaps even in fleet command, some corporations... perhaps even within the Alliance Parliament itself."

Shepard paced for a few more moments before replying, the enormity of the situation weighing on his shoulders. "You're talking about a conspiracy, Admiral. On a huge scale. Perhaps even a military coup."

Kahoku nodded and admitted with a wry smile, "Probably. The trick is proving it, and then exposing it. We have to proceed very carefully. You are a Spectre, Commander. You have many more resources than I do to draw upon. You operate alone, without having to report to anyone but the Council. This puts you outside our chain of command and, with any luck, outside the influence of any 'conspirators'."

Shepard let out a long breath, and tried to truly consider the implications of it all. It seemed unreal, like a series of coincidences. But maybe that's how it was supposed to look. If there was some cancer festering in the Alliance, if the enemy was within and not without, then Shepard would be the one to cut it out.

After all, it was why he wore the uniform. "So, Admiral, what do you need me to do? Where do we go from here?"

"I'll continue my investigations on the Citadel, it's where I have the bulk of my resources. I just need you to watch and listen, Commander, for anything out of the ordinary. There is a spider in our web, John." Kahoku stated, "And I intend to catch it."


	25. Part V: Auctus, Ch I: Evasion

**Part V - Auctus**

_"There are some among us who live in rooms of experience we can never enter." - John Steinbeck_

**Chapter I - Evasion  
**

Shepard awoke with a shout, as he usually did.

The phantom images and voices of his nightmares lingered for a few more moments in the shadows and corners of his quarters before retreating into nothingness. He could never save them. Not his soldiers, not his family. Reality would mingle with imagination - he knew very well what the Batarians did to their captives. Visions of his family and friends, implanted with wires and circuitry to control them... to force them to obey.

He tried to banish the last remnants of imagery, scenes of Akuze and Mindoir, from his mind and - after a time - he succeeded. At least as well as he could.

Shepard pushed himself from his bed and made his way over to the small bathroom that he knew he was privileged to get on a ship the size of the _Normandy_. He splashed some water on his face and eyes, gulped more of it down. He stretched his arms and legs, ran through fitness exercises and hand-to-hand drills. For a moment he closed his eyes, wondering if the nightmare still lurked there.

It did.

That changed things. Shepard dressed himself in his uniform. He'd take a walk, find someone to talk to, something to banish the spectres that still clung to his mind.

* * *

A short time later, Shepard found himself on the bridge with Pressly as his sole companion, excepting Joker, whose head had long since drooped down against his chest. Given Joker's unique condition (at least on-board the Normandy) it was far simpler to just let him sleep in his pilot's chair. And while Pressly was a fine Executive Officer, he wasn't much of a conversationalist. Of course, neither was Shepard.

"Anything to report?"

"No, sir," replied Pressly, "Everything's quiet up here. Not a sign of Geth activity. We have approximately six hours until we hit Feros."

"Good, good. Mind if I take a look at that?"

"It's just some sensor diagnostics, sir. Nothing to be concerned about." But he handed it over. Shepard didn't quite understand the myriad of numbers and graphs, but he figured it all checked out.

They stood in silence for a few more minutes. Pressly finally offered, "You could go for a walk, sir. Everything's under control up here."

Shepard almost found himself wishing for Joker to be awake. Almost.

The thing about the Normandy at this hour, Shepard realised, was that it was running on a skeleton crew. Everyone else was asleep in sleeping pods. The Normandy had only been designed to accommodate a certain number of people. Shepard wasn't sure where the aliens slept. He imagined that Wrex just slumped up against some containers, and that Garrus slept in the Mako. Not the most comfortable of beds, but Shepard knew that neither of them would complain. But what about Tali? He wondered if she was finally sleeping better.

"Noted, but I figure the CIC will do for now. How's our course projection? You've accounted for our stealth systems?"

"Aye, sir. I'll pull up the data for you."

"Y'know what," Shepard said after he found himself staring into a monitor, caring little about what it actually said. "I think I'll go for that walk. You've got the CIC."

"Understood, sir."

As Shepard walked the halls and decks of his ship, his thoughts slowly came around to Liara, and how he had acted on Noveria.

Maybe he had been too harsh. He certainly couldn't expect her to be a soldier, hell, he was sure that an officer had yelled the exact same thing to him in the middle of a firefight. In his first combat situation, his trial by fire, Shepard had been unable to fire upon a Human target. He hadn't grasped the first rule of combat - you kill or you die.

Now... now it was just as easy as blinking.

Liara wasn't just some asset or some source of intelligence. She was a person. Shepard figured that he owed her an apology. Or, that he could at least talk to her, spend some time with her, try to come off as less of a hard-ass.

He found Liara in the medical bay, awake even at this early hour. She was typing away on one of the consoles, her back towards the door and to Shepard. He vaguely recognised what was displayed on the monitor behind her, felt something spark behind his eyes.

"Liara?" he began,

"Commander Shepard," Liara turned from the monitor. "I'm surprised you're still awake."

"I don't sleep as soundly as I'd like a lot of the time. Then again, who does?"

"I... understand, Commander. It must be difficult."

Shepard frowned. "Explain,"

"I was... curious, Commander, after Noveria."

"Curious? About what?"

Liara seemed to hesitate. "About you. Forgive me, Commander, but I accessed your files and learned much about you."

That familiar spark flared. Shepard exploded, "You did _what_?"

Liara's eyes went wide with shock, "Commander, forgive me! You have accomplished and overcome so much. You are fascinating, your history, your commendations, how you were able to survive on Akuze-"

Shepard's fist hammered down on the terminal's power switch, turning the system off and silencing Liara.

"And so you chose to go behind my back."

"I-" Liara stammered for several seconds, "I did not want to say anything stupid..."

"You just did. I am not something for you to analyze and dissect, Doctor. As much as I may understand your reasons, might have even allowed you to ask me any question you felt... You are a guest on my vessel, and I am in command of this ship. I do not like people digging into my past, Liara! And if I find you are accessing any Alliance files without directly consulting me, I'll turn you over to Saren and let him turn you inside out. Do I make myself absolutely, perfectly crystal clear?"

Liara flinched. "Yes," she responded meekly.

Shepard said nothing, he turned and stalked off, fuming and seething. Angry at Liara, angrier at himself. Maybe he hadn't considered the complete ramifications of allowing the aliens complete and total access to the ship and its databases. Maybe Ashley had been right.

In the end, he stormed back to his cabin to go over the information on Feros. He was too angry - at Liara, at Ashley, at himself - to sleep, he needed to concentrate on something.

Reports were much easier to deal with than people.

* * *

Feros was, at first glance, certainly an interesting planet. Fully two-thirds of the planet was covered by a crumbling Prothean megalopolis, all ruined towers and skyscrapers sticking up into the air like jagged metal teeth. The upper atmosphere was thick with dust, thrown into the air from some unimaginable catastrophe and very little sunlight penetrated through the grey clouds in the upper atmosphere.

They were approximately two hours out from Feros now, and Shepard had gathered his team into the briefing/communications room. The holographic display was alive with pictures of the planet and Shepard let his team get a good look at them before he began.

"Feros is an unremarkable planet, except for the fact that the vast majority of its surface is covered in crumbling ruins. The only population centre is the colony of Zhu's Hope and the colony has been out of contact for some time. There were sporadic reports of Geth before the entire colony went silent, although intelligence suggests that the colony is still there - just under siege. Our objective is to defeat the Geth and to gather intelligence on their objectives and what they are doing on Feros. We're the only ship in the area, we're all they get."

"The Geth are blocking almost all signals from the planet but, according to what data we have been able to gather, the colony is located here."

A small section of the holographic display was highlighted and, if Shepard didn't know better, his first assumption would be that something had gone wrong.

"Inside the skyscraper?" asked Kaidan.

Shepard nodded. "Yes, the ground is covered by dozens of meters of debris. It's the only place where settlement is possible. There's a docking bay located here, but if the Geth are sieging Zhu's Hope, then we have to assume they have blockaded it. Tali provided data on several heavy Geth siege platforms, designated Colossus, which could pose a serious threat to the Normandy."

"So, what's the plan, skipper?" Ashley was busy polishing the exterior case of her sidearm.

"We need to reach the colony before it is overrun by the Geth. We'll make our own hole, here, in the side of the tower. From there it is only a short walk to Zhu's Hope."

"Enemy disposition?"

"Recon indicates no orbital assets, but ground forces are unknown. So, we'll go prepared for anything. We'll be fighting in close-quarters in these towers, things will get confusing so be sure to check your targets. We're looking for civilians. They might be twitchy and running on adrenaline, so, if they fire on you, do not return fire." Shepard knew that such an order would create a risk to his squad's safety. If they came under fire from the colonists, Shepard would rely on their inaccuracy and the kinetic barriers of his squad members to protect them.

"We don't have any support, Normandy is the only vessel on station. We have to protect the colony and deny the Geth whatever objective they are aiming to accomplish. If we cannot hold the colony, the Normandy will be on-station to assist in an evacuation effort."

There was a problem with that, however, one that Garrus noticed. "But, Commander, I'm just checking the data... this report indicates there's three hundred colonists on Feros. They can't all fit on the Normandy."

Shepard nodded, "Then we can't let the colony fall."

* * *

A few hours later, Shepard's team had gathered in the airlock. The roles of the team were becoming familiar to Shepard now, after two successful combat operations. Wrex was the muscle, Garrus was the scout, Tali the engineer. They'd even managed to fit Liara with a suit of Alliance combat armor. It wasn't a perfect fit, but it was surely better than nothing, especially when combined with her biotic barriers. Her pistol, which Shepard hoped she was more comfortable with using now, was nestled in a hip holster. They were all parts of a well-oiled machine.

And now they were going to try and break a siege. Once, if someone had told Shepard that half a dozen assorted aliens and Humans were going to even attempt such a thing, he probably would have laughed. But he knew better now.

"You're welcome to stay on the ship," Shepard reminded his team as he began to cycle the airlock. "But that'll be the hardest part of the mission."

Not one of them objected. He hadn't expected them to.

"I want radio silence," Shepard continued as the airlock cycled through, "Tali says the Geth'll pick up on our communications like moths to a flame, let's avoid giving them any advance warning."

Now, the winds of Feros howled past the open airlock, almost completely dulling the low roar of the Normandy's engines. Joker had maneuvered the Normandy close to a gash in the side of one of the Prothean skyscrapers, saving Shepard the trouble of making his own hole.

Even through the occasional gusts of smoke and dust, Shepard could see that it was quite the jump. If any of them fell...

"Y'know," said Kaidan, "I'm not so sure about this..."

"I could throw you," offered Wrex.

"No, Wrex," put in Shepard, "You're going first. No telling what's on the other side and you're the toughest member of this team."

"That works."

"Remember," Shepard reminded him, "We're looking for colonists here. Be damn sure you've got the correct target. Humans don't have flashlight heads." It was a joke, but not a very good one.

Wrex jumped first and landed with a surprisingly amount of agility. After a few tense moments, Wrex gave the all clear signal and was quickly followed by Ashley and Garrus. Then Shepard, Tali, Kaidan and Liara.

The only light came through the cracks and breaches in the outer walls of the skyscraper, but it was enough. Even within the structure the air was thick with dust and smoke. Feros had already been hit by one hell of a cataclysm once, Shepard wasn't about to let it happen again.

"Switch to your internal oxygen supplies," Shepard advised, "No telling what this'll do to our lungs." Six green icons winked in acknowledgment on Shepard's HUD.

_No hostile contacts. Well, so far so good._ Behind them, the Normandy pulled up and away._ Time to get moving._

"Garrus, you're our best set of eyes. You're on point."

Garrus nodded silently as the team fell in behind him.

They had reached what appeared to be an ancient hydroponics bay, dozens of brown and dead plants in crumbling garden beds, before they encountered their first hitch. Garrus froze, his hand signals indicating possible hostile activity.

Shepard waved for his team to take cover and watched as, with exaggerated slowness, Garrus indicated the danger area by pointing.

A gunmetal armored Geth rounded the corner and stood in the doorway that Shepard intended for his team to proceed through. Its cranial case swept back and forth over the room. It had to be on a patrol route, and Shepard almost thought it'd turn around and leave. That was before it slowly, and almost completely silently, began to walk towards the mound of debris that Garrus had crouched behind. Shepard's mind was running through the variety of ways it could detect them. It didn't have direct line-of-sight to any of his squad. None of them were communicating or moving. That left only...

Thermal imaging. Body heat. _Oh, hell._

Shepard was already out from cover, and blasting the Geth trooper with a series of shots. The Geth's kinetic barriers flared brightly and it turned towards Shepard, only for Garrus to stand from cover and blast a hole in it with his sniper rifle.

"Didn't even know what hit him," Garrus smirked, "Not even a chance to call for help."

Tali shook her head, "The programs on the platform will download into a central hub," she explained, "And then all the Geth on Feros will know what happened."

"Then they have to know we're here," said Shepard, "Break radio silence, begin an active sweep for the Zhu's Hope distress beacon."

After a few moments, a small icon winked to life on Shepard's HUD.

"Got it, let's move."

"I'm picking up Geth data packets," Tali said as they moved down a ruined hallway, "They're conducting a sweep."

"For what?" asked Kaidan,

"Us, I assume," put in Garrus. "They're probably trying to disrupt our communications."

And then the icon designating the position of Zhu's Hope abruptly winked out, and reappeared in a different location. And then it began to move, flickering in and out, sometimes duplicating. Shepard toggled the navigation display off. Whether the Geth had cracked the protocols on their communications net or on the beacon itself was irrelevant, it was useless now. They were now effectively blind.

"Jamming. It was only a matter of time," sighed Shepard. "We'll keep moving in the direction of beacon, and hope we don't get turned around too much."

The colonists of Zhu's Hope had evidently tidied the skyscraper as best they could, but it wasn't perfect. Eventually the squad had to abandon the main corridors and take a side route, skipping through cracks and holes in walls in order to make some progress. When Garrus turned a corner and held his taloned hand up for the squad to freeze, and yet didn't indicate a hostile contact, Shepard stepped forward to examine what Garrus was seeing.

The bodies of colonists littered the next hallway, blood had been sprayed across the walls and floor. This place had been the site of some heavy fighting; some of the colonists had been dead for some time, but all were riddled with the damage that Shepard knew was the hallmark of mass accelerated small arms fire. The Geth had no doubt butchered them with mechanical precision.

Some still had smoking holes blown in their chests.

Garrus, Wrex, Ashley and Kaidan seemed to take it in their stride. Tali was unreadable behind her helmet. Liara, on the other hand, seemed quite sick. Shepard wondered when he had become used to the smell of death and the sight of people shot to pieces.

"Eyes up and forward," was all he said though as he stepped over a corpse.

"Look at all these pipes," whistled Ashley as the squad was forced to take another detour, this one through a maze of pipes. "What're they for?"

"These structures are riddled with aqueducts," said Liara, "The colony probably tapped into them as a source of purified water, providing they got the filtration system up and running."

"The Protheans certainly built their stuff to last," remarked Garrus,

"Think I could take some of it back to the Flotilla?" asked Tali.

"Maybe if you ask really nicely," drawled Garrus.

"Only if they're not using it of course!"

Shepard waved at them to be silent, "Are we heading the right way, Liara?"

"Yes, Commander."

"Good. Then we'll just-"

Suddenly, Shepard froze, a learned instinct to the sound of gunfire. A few short, frantic bursts of gunfire... and then a longer report, the strange high-pitched sound of Geth projectiles. Someone was under attack, and Shepard would bet good money that it was the colonists.

"Go! Go! Go!" Shepard hissed to his squad, raising his rifle and hustling forwards, towards the sound of gunfire.

He was right. A trio of colonists were bunkered down inside an outcropping of ruins and debris. Towards them, advanced two Geth troopers and a white-armored shock trooper. The weapons fire from the colonists was frantic and inaccurate and, as Shepard closed, one of the colonists was cut down by a burst of Geth fire. The colonists ducked their heads down and did not move.

Shepard's squad fell onto the Geth with practiced fury. The three Geth turned and fired with the quickness of a cybernetic viper, but the first volley of fire had already dropped their kinetic barriers. Garrus hit the deck as his kinetic barriers dropped, allowing Ashley and Wrex to combine their fire. The two Geth troopers staggered and fell under the repeated impacts.

Shepard drilled a trio of shots through the white armored Geth's cranial case. Mercurial fluids splattered against the far wall as the Geth trembled and dropped to the floor, twitching spasmodically.

"All clear," called Shepard as he swept the area with his rifle, "You can come out."

The two surviving colonists were dirty, hair matted with blood and sweat and what Shepard guessed was oil. They stared at his grey and red N7 armor, and one of them recognized him, his eyes wide.

"Commander Shepard?" gasped the wide-eyed colonist, "The Spectre? What the hell are you doing here?"

"We're here to stall the Geth advance and break the siege," Shepard stated matter-of-factly, "You can lead us to the colony?"

"Well, yeah, follow me." As they walked off, the colonist remarked, "You're seriously going to lift the siege? There's only six of you."

Shepard looked back towards his team, "Believe me, we're all you're gonna need."


	26. Part V: Auctus, Ch II: Stepping Stones

**Chapter II - Stepping Stones  
**

Zhu's Hope was a mess. It was the organized chaos of a pre-fab settlement, all boxy structures that were designed to lock together, only now it had been hit by some serious fighting. A large freighter, the paintwork scorched and armor dented, sat in the middle of the encampment. With the crane overhead, Shepard assumed they had been unloading, or loading, when the attack hit. Either way, it wasn't going anywhere now. Several small fires burned in the colony, larger ones in the distance, and the air was beginning to fill with smoke.

Shepard had removed his helmet, and was beginning to regret that decision.

"These colonists are tough," Garrus said as the team was led past a defense barricade, "I'll give them that."

"I'm surprised they've survived this long," added Wrex, "I don't see any serious firepower."

Kaidan nodded, "Makeshift defenses, untrained civilians. It's a miracle anyone's still standing."

"Miracles don't just happen," replied Shepard.

Their guide indicated a man in the center of the settlement, near the freighter. A woman stood next to him, hefting a large automatic weapon. Shepard guessed that she was a bodyguard of some description.

"You Fai Dan?" Shepard asked of the man, "In charge of this colony?"

"That I am, Commander," the man spoke, his voice charismatic and warm. "I'm glad they finally sent somebody to help us." He had the tanned, weathered skin of someone who spent their time on archaeological digs, and not in the halls of a starship.

The dark-skinned woman next to Fai Dan sneered, "They're a bit late, aren't they?"

"Arcelia, that's enough!" Fai Dan scolded her, fixing her with the glare of someone who was used to having his orders followed. "Sorry, Commander, we're all a bit on edge. This attack was the last thing any of us expected. Still, it seems like the colony is secure for now, thanks to you."

"Just doing my job. There won't be another Eden Prime, not on my watch."

Arcelia put in, "They've been slowed down, but they'll be back. They always come back."

"And if they do, my team will show them that crossing that Veil of theirs was the worst idea they've ever had. Fai Dan, I need a sitrep."

Fai Dan sighed, "The Geth hit us pretty hard, Commander. Everything was normal, until we lost contact with HQ. The Geth infiltrated the maintenance tunnels, and then the towers themselves. We lost a lot of people. Since then, we've been stuck here. We have no supplies; we're losing water, food and power at an increasing rate. No one goes out, no one comes in... at least, until you got here."

Shepard nodded, "So, we're under siege?"

"That'd be it, yes."

Shepard recalled the lessons that Kahoku had drilled into him. "Then we have two options. One, we retreat into the subterranean tunnels, await reinforcements and engage in guerrilla warfare. Or, two, we launch a precise and overwhelming strike against their weakest point. I don't suppose you know of anything that could be a vulnerable target?"

"Yes, in the tunnels, in fact. One of my people spotted the Geth assembling some sort of transmitter. I'd guess the Geth are using it to co-ordinate their attacks. It's giving off a huge energy spike, but we don't have anyone capable of-"

"You do now. My squad and I will provide assistance here, Fai Dan. Then we'll move upon the transmitter and knock it out. That will give us some breathing room. Once the Geth are off our backs, then we can plan our next move."

Fai Dan nodded, "Well, firstly, we need water. Macha's been trying to fix our water purification systems, some weird looking Geth hit it with something-"

"I should be able to repair their pipes, Commander," Tali chirped, "It'd almost be like working on a ship at home!"

"Davin says that there's some Varren in the lower tunnels we could use for meat, but-"

"I can hunt Varren," Wrex grinned, "I can kill Varren." The Krogan turned to Garrus, "Come on, Vakarian. Time for you to learn a thing or too about how the world works."

"This will be enlightening, I'm sure." Garrus grinned, "Let's make it a contest."

"We already have one going, Vakarian. One that you're losing.'

"Really? Here I was thinking that you lost track on Noveria. In fact, I distinctly remember-"

"Fine. We can start over. Not like it matters."

"We'll see, Wrex. We'll see."

"Your team doesn't mess around do they, Commander?" Fai Dan smiled.

"Not in the least. Kaidan, Liara, see if we can't get some first aid to the wounded."

"On it, Commander."

Fai Dan just shook his head, "Commander, I can't thank you enough for this..."

"Like I said, it's my job. If you'll excuse us, Fai Dan." Shepard turned to Ashley, "Williams, we'll walk the perimeter."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Nice place to visit, eh, sir?" Ashley asked as the two of them passed a defensive barricade, where colonists huddled, hoping that the barricades and scrap metal would protect them. "Not sure if I'd want to live here though..."

"It's certainly seen better days. The view's nice though."

"Commander, I've been thinking about something."

"Like what?"

"Just wondering why you haven't asked me."

"Why haven't I asked you what? I don't like playing games, Williams."

Ashley smirked, "Why you haven't asked me why I kissed you... sir?"

Shepard considered her words, and those feelings, for a moment. "Because it doesn't matter? Right now, our job is very simple. We protect this colony from the Geth."

"Or maybe it's because I hear you've been spending a lot of time with the Quarian? Tali, I mean."

Shepard frowned, "It's nothing like that."

Ashley continued, as if she hadn't even heard him speak. "I was just thinking about our conversation the other day. I mean, I can understand, being a Spectre, having to play nice with the aliens and all."

"That's ridiculous," replied Shepard, and immediately regretted his words. Kahoku had always told him to remember tact.

"I know. Exactly what I'm saying, skipper. On top of that, all the Alliance regulations concerning fraternization-" She was being borderline insubordinate, by all rights Shepard should have reprimanded her there and then.

"I believe it's an offense to quote regulations to a superior officer," Shepard said, only half-joking. This conversation was going down a path that Shepard didn't want to embark upon. "And I thought you and Kaidan..."

Ashley sighed, "I take what I can get, skipper. At least, that's the way I see it since Eden Prime, so, I can't really hold it against you - we could all be dead tomorrow."

"Concentrate on the mission, Chief. My personal life isn't up for discussion."

"Suit yourself."

They walked the rest of the patrol in silence.

* * *

Once Shepard was content that there was no possibility of an imminent Geth attack, he decided to check on his squad.

Kaidan and Liara had forwarded a small report on the health of the colonists. There hadn't been as many casualties as Shepard had first expected, but there were many injuries - and more still apparently suffering from headaches and general fatigue. Not surprising given that they had been fighting for days, if not weeks, without any real respite. Kaidan had stated that the colonists hadn't exactly been terribly co-operative. That made Shepard wonder. In a way, he felt sorry for them.

Garrus and Wrex were far more curt, the Krogan apparently deciding to handle communications, but they were making good time, to such an extent that they couldn't afford to talk. Then Garrus shouted and there was only the sounds of combat before Shepard terminated the channel. He didn't need to worry, Wrex and Garrus' lifesign indicators were still green in his HUD.

That left Tali. Shepard briefly pondered opening a communications channel, and then decided against it.

Something about Ashley's words still stung him.

It was simple enough, follow the pipes - the aqueducts, as Liara had called them - and he'd find her. He found someone else at first. A middle-aged woman with blonde hair, streaked with grease and dirt.

What had Fai Dan called her? Macha?

"I'm looking for one of my squad members," Shepard began, "A Quarian. She was working on the water systems?"

"I don't know," Macha replied, "I'm kind of busy here, if you don't mind. This headache isn't helping matters. And the only thing that makes it go away is if I focus on my work."

Shepard thought the least she could do was answer a simple question. It wasn't like there were any other Quarians on the colony.

He tried not to think about it, didn't let it annoy him. The people here were obviously stressed out, he couldn't count on them being polite. Sometimes, politeness was a luxury. He didn't need luxuries.

He found Tali in a particularly labyrinthine section of pipes and conduits. He called out, "Tali?"

Tali's head jerked up. There was a slight thump and she swore.

Shepard winced unconsciously, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. You just surprised me, Commander."

"How are the repairs coming along?"

"The pipes themselves are fine, but the Geth burnt out the electronic systems that control them. I think I can get it back to how it is, but it'll be temporary."

"Well, with any luck, we'll have the Geth off Feros by then. Feel free to continue working, if you want."

She did so, busying herself with the cables, pipes and relays. Shepard wondered why she was so good with machines and systems? A natural aptitude? Because they were easier to deal with than people? Both?

Tali's voice broke him out of his momentary thoughts, "No one deserves to lose their home."

"Yeah," Shepard said quietly, "That's why we have to stop them."

Tali poked her head out, looked him over for a few moments. "That's what is interesting about you, Shepard. You're a problem solver."

"Well, I am a Spectre."

"Not like that," Tali chirped, "It's more that whenever you find something you believe you can fix, you do so without thinking. Because it is a challenge and because you can."

Shepard didn't let on just how right he thought she was.

"It's a very Quarian way of thinking," Tali added when she next poked her head out. "In the Migrant Fleet, we have to put the greater good above our own desires."

Shepard shrugged, "Well, a very wise man once told me that aliens are 'jerks and saints, just like us.'"

Tali examined a tool for a few moments, putting it down and picking up another. "Who said that?"

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko," admitted Shepard with a sheepish grin. "Anyway, I didn't know you could repair pipes."

"Commander," Tali said, with mock seriousness. "I'm a Quarian. Give me a hunk of scrap metal, a circuit board and some element zero, and I'll have it making precision jumps! This is mundane in comparison, the sort of work that I'd be doing back home. Can you pass me that circuit bridge? I left it on one of the crates."

Shepard didn't have much trouble spotting the crate Tali had mentioned. It was covered in a variety of small components, all glittering black and silver, but no weapons. Tali obviously kept her pistol on her. All the small devices and items reminded Shepard why he was a marine and not an engineer. He picked one at random and handed it back.

For the briefest of moments their fingers touched. Five against three. Then the moment passed and Tali ducked buck into the mass of pipes.

"So, ah..." Shepard said, "I heard that some of the crew are taking bets as to what you look like under that helmet."

"Really?" Tali called from inside the mess of pipes and wiring, "Why?"

"Because they're curious. Even Garrus got involved. He insists that you have to look like a Turian."

Tali poked her head out, "Well, both of our species are based upon dextro-protein amino acids. I can see why he would think that." She hauled out a piece of electronic equipment that Shepard could not recognise, setting it down gently, almost reverently.

"And that means, what, exactly?" Shepard said after a moment's consideration, deciding it would be best to just ask.

"I look more like you than I do Garrus." And then she was gone again.

"And, again, I'm going to have to ask you what you mean by that."

"Chief Williams taught me a phrase," Tali said, "'A girl's got to have her secrets.'"

The communications bead in Shepard's ear chimed. Garrus' voice purred in his ear, "Shepard, we got the Varren."

Shepard turned away from Tali for a moment, "Good work. Meet me in the center of the colony, let's start to discuss our next move."

"Got it,"

"Tali, when you're done here, come find us."

Tali had, by now, crawled out of the pipe and stood facing Shepard. "Shepard, these colonists may be brave, but... the Geth are relentless. They won't stop. My people know that better than anyone."

"They won't lose their home. We'll make sure of that." He smiled, "Just finish up here and let me handle the counter-offensive, alright?"

As Shepard walked to meet Garrus and Wrex he realised that, for some reason, his steps felt lighter.

* * *

"Garrus, sitrep."

Garrus looked up from where he was cleaning his sniper rifle. His armor was splattered and streaked with blood, slight furrows torn in the plating, the mark of Varren claws. "We took out some of the larger Varren. The colonists should be able to deal with the smaller ones. And Wrex managed to sever the tunnel the Geth were using to bring in more troops and supplies. We've bought some time."

"Good work you two, anything else?"

Garrus nodded, "There were Krogan down there, with the Geth." While the Turian's voice was confident, his black eyes betrayed his unease. Garrus hadn't expected it.

Neither had Shepard. He raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding me. How many?"

"He's not, Shepard," growled Wrex, "Three of 'em, all in identical armor. I'm guessing Saren's hired some mercenaries. I don't think they're Blood Pack though, no Vorcha."

Shepard supposed this wasn't an unexpected surprise. Saren had seemingly appointed a Krogan to lead the team sent to recover Liara on Therum. Still, it meant that Shepard would have to approach their next combat situation differently. The mixture of Geth firepower and relentless Krogan close combat could prove deadly. Shepard had seen Wrex rampage, and he certainly didn't want to be on the receiving end.

"Then we'll just have to be a bit more careful." Shepard turned to address Fai Dan, "Fai Dan, it's time for us to plan our next move. Have there been any reports of Geth activity?"

"No, Commander. It's like they've gone quiet, or they're waiting for something before they hit us."

Shepard considered a sudden thought for a moment.

"Unless the colony isn't their target," Shepard said thoughtfully, "The Geth could've hit you much harder than this, or just brought the whole tower down. They haven't. They don't seem to want to destroy the colony, so, what's their objective?"

"We don't know," replied Fai Dan quickly, "But they've been swarming the Exogeni headquarters. You'd probably find answers there."

Shepard filed away Fai Dan's quick response in the back of his mind. It didn't seem right, although Shepard couldn't think of any reason why Fai Dan would lie.

"Then I think what we've been facing here is a diversion." Shepard stated, "The Geth keep probing at the colony, keeping you off-balance and focused on defence, preventing you from being able to investigate or launch a counter-attack. We need to get to that HQ."

"The skyway leads directly to Exogeni HQ. But there's any army of Geth between here and there. What about the transmitter?"

"Something about it doesn't feel right," Shepard said, "If it was vital to their efforts it wouldn't be exposed enough for us to attack it. No, I think they want us to focus on it. I don't suppose you have any idea as to the Geth forces in or around the HQ?"

"They've landed at least one ship at Exogeni," said Arcelia, "And there's been reports of large walking tanks on the road."

"Let's hope they're Armatures," put in Tali.

"What could the Geth be looking for?" Arcelia continued, "It's not like there's any Prothean artifacts here."

"Exactly," nodded Fai Dan in agreement, "There's nothing here, or, if there is, we've never found it. Of course, they could know something we don't."

"We won't get answers standing around, that's for sure. The Geth are probably counting on us remaining here, perhaps evacuating the colony." And Shepard was not prepared to let the Geth dictate the terms of combat, "Kaidan, get on the comm and tell Joker to drop the Mako in. It's time to take the fight to the Geth."

_Author's note: This was too much of a delay for something that just didn't seem to hit the right notes, so to speak. Maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist. I'm happy with certain parts of this chapter, but something about it just doesn't sit right with me. It's probably just a combination of being unable to write for long periods over the past month and just general fatigue - but I had to get it done or risk an indefinite hiatus. Your thoughts are, as always, appreciated. I'll always try to respond to a review. Also, I dislike putting these 'notes' here but I feel as if I had to make an exception.  
_


	27. Part V: Auctus, Ch III: Vicissitude

**Chapter III - Vicissitude**

The Mako rumbled up along the Prothean Skyway, one of the long bridges that connected the skyscrapers of Feros, heading towards answers.

They'd split up the squad. Garrus, Wrex and Tali were with Shepard in the Mako. Ashley had been left, with Kaidan and Liara, to monitor Zhu's Hope. Shepard wasn't happy with it, but had been forced to admit that it was the right decision. He couldn't afford to risk losing the colony for the sake of what really amounted to a recon-in-force mission.

He and his squad would just have to be a bit more careful.

The Mako's communication systems crackled suddenly. "The last batch went south..." said a woman's voice, "What are they looking for?"

"Tali," said Shepard, "lock down on that transmission. Where's it coming from?"

"According to these readings it's between us and the HQ."

"...Any sign of movement? ...Lizbeth could still be in there... It's only been a few days!"

"An open broadcast on an unsecured frequency," commented Garrus, "That's sloppy,"

"They're civilians, Garrus," shrugged Shepard, "We can't count on them to follow procedure."

"All it'll do is bring the Geth right down on their-" And then Garrus swore, "We've got a dropship inbound!"

"Two Geth signatures detected!" reported Tali, "We've got two Armatures between us and the HQ!"

"Probably going to head straight for that transmission!" Shepard frowned, "Damn! Everyone hold on, this is going to get rough! Garrus, fire at will!"

The Mako shuddered twice, as if a giant had tried to slap it aside.

"Direct pulse cannon hits on the hull!" reported Tali from behind, "Kinetic barriers down to 24%!"

"Another hit like that and we'll be torn apart like tissue paper!" Wrex snarled.

The Mako couldn't go toe-to-toe with a pair of Armatures. One, yes, the Mako could outmaneuver it and stay behind its head and, therefore, out of its direct line of fire. But two? No, Shepard knew that the two Geth machines would cover each other and catch the Mako in a pincer. And if that was to happen, no one would be getting out of the vehicle alive.

But there were other ways to even the odds.

"Garrus," said Shepard quickly as he turned the Mako directly towards the first Armature, "Take control of the Mako's thrusters. Fire them on my mark!"

"Got it, Commander. Mind telling me wh-"

"Now, Garrus!"

The Mako suddenly lurched upwards. A pair of glowing projectiles from the Armatures slammed harmlessly into the floor of the Skyway as the Mako suddenly found itself in flight. The Mako's forward momentum did not stop, however, and the armored vehicle slammed into the central chassis of one of the four-legged Armatures, forcing it to the ground in a shower of sparks and cacophony of tortured metal. The Mako hit the ground and slid wildly as Shepard wrestled to bring it under control. There was the acrid stench of burning circuitry, a klaxon wailed in the cockpit.

"One down!"

Tali was already checking status displays, "Reading a power signature. It's still active!"

"But it's out of the fight!" replied Shepard, "I'll get us behind the other one. Garrus, switch targeting to the Mako's VI, aim for the legs."

The Mako's mass accelerator cannon thumped twice in quick succession. "Target disabled," Garrus reported.

"Tali, damage report."

"Well, I think it'll take some time to repair the consequences of that... maneuver. We've still got power, weapons, mobility... kinetic barriers are performing at sub-optimal effciency."

"It'll have to do," Shepard stated as he turned the Mako back towards the ExoGeni HQ.

"That was completely insane, uh, with all due respect, Commander. Using maneuvering jets as an offensive maneuver? I'm not even sure if anyone in the entire Turian Hierachy has attempted such a tactic."

Oddly, Shepard was glad Ashley wasn't here, with the squad. She'd probably make some comment about the First Contact War. Not that Shepard wasn't tempted, but he had to remember tact. "Hold up, Garrus. We've got comms."

"We've got movement..." came the woman's voice, "Some kind of vehicle. It's not a Geth."

"They can see us," Garrus surmised.

"Then let's go figure out just what they're doing out here. Tali, track that comm signal. Maybe we can get some answers."

* * *

The beacon was still on the path to the HQ, in what Shepard estimated as a gatehouse between the Skyway and the HQ skyscraper. The path was blocked with debris, what looked to be the remnants of a small survey craft. They would have to proceed on foot. It'd certainly make things difficult if they came across Geth snipers or, worse yet, an Armature.

Shepard led his squad down a ramp and into a large, bare room. He could hear the woman's voice, the one from before, and the voice of a man. Arguing.

They came within direct line-of-sight. The room was filled with what Shepard assumed were scientists, civilians, a few security personnel. There was a smattering of tables and chairs, but not nearly enough for the amount of people. "Now that's far enough!" The man's voice came across as frantic, and not nearly as commanding as Shepard figured he imagined it to be.

"Relax, Jeong," said the woman "They're obviously not Geth."

"We're here to get rid of them, actually. Commander Shepard, Systems Alliance and Citadel Spectre."

"You see? You worry too much."

"And you trust too easily, Juliana." Jeong sneered.

"We're just glad to see a friendly face. I thought we were the only Humans left on this planet."

Shepard frowned, "Why would you think that? There's still people at Zhu's Hope. We thought they were the only ones left on the planet."

Juliana glanced over at Jeong, her face twisting into an expression of disdain. "You said they were all dead!"

"I said they were _probably_ all dead," he retorted.

"We're here trying to find out why the Geth are here. We'll keep them off your backs, but we need information. Is there anything at the colony that could have drawn their attention?"

"No," replied Jeong quickly, "And I must remind you that this is an ExoGeni colony and all information is the property of the ExoGeni board of directors."

It was like Noveria all over again. An experience that Shepard was not keen to repeat.

Juliana rolled her eyes, "And I'm sure that they'll care about their secrets in this situation. The databanks in the HQ would have any information you might need."

"And _those_ are private property," snapped Jeong, "Get rid of the Geth, _nothing_ else."

"Don't listen to him. He's paranoid. We have found nothing of value, something ExoGeni is keen to remind us of."

"We need to recoup our expenses. It's nothing personal."

"Regardless," Shepard interrupted, "You need to stay here. Once we hit the HQ, the Geth will focus on us. Stay here until we get back."

"Commander! Before you go... My daughter, Lizbeth... She's missing..."

"I'm not sure we have time to search for a missing person," said Garrus.

"We can try to keep an eye out," said Shepard firmly, "Where was she, Juliana?"

"She was working in the ExoGeni building when the attack came-"

Jeong snorted, "Oh, yeah, there are several places she could hide. For a short time."

"If she's alive," Shepard said, "We'll find her."

* * *

Outside, Garrus fixed Shepard with a particular look.

"You filled her with false hope, Shepard. Was that a good idea?"

"Maybe, Garrus," Shepard said as they trekked through the ruins towards ExoGeni HQ. "It makes it seem like you care about a person, even if you don't. And sometimes a false hope can be better than none."

Wrex grunted, elbowing Garrus roughly in the side. "Huh, I don't think our Commander is as cold as he thinks he is."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you two. Tali, any sign of the Geth?"

"No, Commander."

"They have to know we're coming," Shepard mused, "We knocked out their two Armatures."

"Maybe they got what they came for," Wrex put forth.

"Maybe, but I hope not. I aim to be one step ahead of Saren, not catching up to him."

There were two Geth at the entrance, a large portal that Shepard could have driven the Mako through had debris not made it impassable. The two grey-armored Geth stood rigidly at something approaching attention, their singular eyes scanning back and forth.

Garrus' sniper rifle barked twice, and Geth fluids were splattered against the wall. Despite that, Shepard allowed himself a small smile. There was no reason for the Geth to post guards unless they were still searching.

Inside, it was similar to the Prothean skyscraper that the squad had inserted themselves into from the_ Normandy_. Shepard figured that the Protheans weren't big on uniqueness, given their sterile designs on Therum and the skyscrapers here. Liara, however, was the expert. At the thought of her name he felt anger, shame, guilt. He pushed it aside.

The squad paused at what Shepard assumed was the personnel entrance to the ExoGeni HQ offices. The walls were cratered with gunfire, small specs of blood and gore. Shepard was surprised, however, to note that the doorway was filled with a glowing blue kinetic barrier.

"So," Wrex said, "Someone's alive in there. The Geth wouldn't have set these."

Shepard frowned, "Can we cut the power to them from here?"

"No, Commander," surmised Garrus. "Not in any acceptable time frame."

"I'm reading a lot of redundant systems, probable alarms," said Tali, "It'd bring every Geth in this place down on us."

"We'll have to avoid the Geth as much as possible. We're at half strength and we know they're packing some heavy firepower. All we need to do now is find another way in..."

The HQ had been damaged by heavy fighting. Walls were shattered and broken, mounds of debris, stone and twisted metal, piled up on each other. There was no way they could climb those, at least without exposing themselves to heavy fire.

Still, there were always other ways. A great gash had been torn in the ancient Prothean flooring. A light flickered from somewhere below. Shepard dropped a rock down there, found it to be an acceptable drop.

"...like this one."

* * *

Shepard dropped into the hole, rolled, and came up. He swept the room with his assault rifle.

"Clear!"

The ExoGeni HQ was similar to Zhu's Hope in many ways. Shepard wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but a rather messy and haphazard collection of crates, containers, computer terminals strung together with a lot of electrical wiring wasn't it. Perhaps the HQ was designed to be relatively mobile? An observation post?

But what would they be observing?

The rest of Shepard's squad had dropped in behind him now, and they advanced into the tower.

"Tali, are you picking up any power sources? Emergency beacons?"

Tali tapped away at her omni-tool.

"I think I've located the primary databank. It's still online. It's a few floors above us."

"Then let's move,"

Shepard brought Wrex up front and put Garrus and Tali behind. Any attack would come from their front, an attack from behind would mean that they were already cut off from the Mako and probably Zhu's Hope. They'd have to move as fast as possible to prevent that, and that'd mean using Wrex as a battering ram. Their booted feet eventually crunched onto dirt. They had to have walked onto what was once a decorative garden bed, not that was anything of it left bar the dirt now. And then Shepard spotted something in the dirt, and made the hand signal for his squad to freeze.

It was a footprint, one that was easily double the area of Shepard's own. One that wasn't human. The print had made a fair impression into the dirt floor, and they continued in the direction that Shepard had been meaning to travel. Shepard quickly checked his sensor readings. There was nothing to indicate that anything was with them, or in any of the nearby rooms.

Whatever had made this footprint had to be _huge_. At least twelve feet high by Shepard's reckoning.

Did Geth get_ that_ big?

Shepard indicated the footprint. "Tali, could you come check this out?"

She bounced over, eager to help.

"Geth Prime," she deduced quickly, "Largest and most deadly bipedal Geth platform. It co-ordinates the activities of other platforms. It's very smart, and very dangerous."

"What's all this talk of platforms, anyway? Seems a weird thing to call a Geth."

"Well," Tali started, "Geth are software. The platforms - their bodies, I suppose - are hardware. When you 'kill' a Geth, their 'mind' just downloads to a central hub. Of course, if you destroy the hub..."

"You get the actual mind."

"Exactly," Tali said happily, reminding Shepard of an old teacher. "Have I said this before?"

"Somewhat. I just have trouble wrapping my mind around it. It's such a different approach to life, war, everything." Shepard shrugged, "But this isn't the place for a philosophical discussion. Let's move."

The four of them advanced through the garden bed into a large open room, something like an interior courtyard, when Shepard thought he noticed something glinting on a nearby edge. He frowned suddenly, and felt his system snap into action when something exploded near his feet. At first Shepard thought of a landmine, hidden beneath the dirt, but quickly realized it was something far more precise and far more dangerous.

"Sniper!" Shepard yelled, "Get to cover!"

Another pair of rounds whizzed through the air, kicking up plumes of dust where they impacted. A round like that would breach Shepard's kinetic barriers and armor plating like it wasn't there, probably blow a large chunk of him across the room. The Geth were obviously in possession of some powerful mass accelerators.

"Garrus! Can you see them?"

"I've got a bearing on one of them," Garrus said, his voice surprisingly calm. "Scoped..." His rifle barked, "And dropped. Can't spot the second."

"We need to get out of this dirt! They've got the high ground! Wrex, give me some covering fire. I've got a grenade with that Geth's name on it."

Wrex obliged and Shepard stormed forwards under the Krogan's protective suppressive fire.

The Geth sniper came upwards, now that Shepard was between it and his squad. It loomed over the divider between the garden bed and the room beyond. At this range it could not miss.

Shepard lobbed the grenade, and ducked.

There was a dull thud as the grenade landed, a slight tinny sound as it rolled. A second later, it detonated, the scorched and battered top half of the Geth sniper coming over and into the dirt.

"Splash one Geth," Shepard reported, "Move up, let's check out their position."

The Geth sniper was still active. As Wrex went past, he bent down and tore its cranial case from its neck - the blue eye flickered and died. "Gotta be thorough, Shepard."

Shepard noted that the word 'Biology Department' was stenciled on the Prothean doorway. Inside was another bank of terminals, equipment and other electronic devices that Shepard guessed were for analysis. None of them seemed particularly valuable, all were empty of anything that resembled samples, and Shepard was quite sure that this wasn't what the Geth were after. Tali even demonstrated that the installation's data network had been severed before it reached this room.

So, when Shepard noticed the large thing that seemed to dominate one corner of the room, it was that much more of an enigma as to why it was there.

It was a reflective silver construct, larger than Shepard, a vaguely claw-like structure that seemed almost like a hand grabbing the floor. One which gave Shepard no idea as to its purpose.

Something was pulsing inside it, casting a bright glow over the rest of the room.

Shepard had never seen anything like it. Could it be a weapon? A bomb, even? Some sort of communications device? A generator? And yet it was familiar, he had seen this before, or something like it...

...somewhere.

"This is..." Tali whispered, running one of her hands over the smooth surface. "This looks like some sort of church!"

"Since when have synthetics had religion?" mused Wrex.

"Maybe it's a shrine?" Tali hypothesized brightly, and then Shepard could hear the frown in her voice. "But a shrine to _what_? Machines don't have ancestors."

"I'm pretty sure they don't have gods, either," said Garrus, covering the entrance with his rifle.

Whatever it was, Shepard found himself wanting to wire it with explosives. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves," he said as he toggled his communications link. "Shepard to Alenko, come in."

"Alenko here, what's the problem, sir?"

"We've found a structure, Tali believes the Geth are using it as a church. Transmitting image captures to your team, see if Liara can identify it."

"Hey, if they're looking for God, I'll be happy to send them on their way." Ashley quipped over the communications net, but Shepard wasn't really listening. He wasn't even really listening when Liara's voice came on, told him that it wasn't a Prothean construction. The Geth had to have built this in the HQ. Something had finally made some sort of connection and clicked in his head.

The structure resembled nothing less than the tentacle/claw of the gargantuan warship he had glimpsed on Eden Prime. Saren's flagship - _Sovereign_. And something about that really unnerved him, it set off that little section of his backbrain. What was it that Benezia had said? 'Beware of _Sovereign_'?

It didn't make sense. Why the hell would the Geth be worshiping a starship? _Could it be possible...?_

And nor did Shepard and his squad have time to ponder the spiritual leanings of genocidal synthetics. "Let's move on," he suggested.

He only felt properly at-ease when the 'shrine' was far behind them.

* * *

"We're coming up on it now, Shepard," Tali advised as she guided the squad into a stairwell. There had been no more resistance, and Shepard wasn't reassured by that. It kept pointing to one thing, and it was something that Shepard didn't want to admit. "The primary databank should be just up these stairs."

Garrus took point and the squad advanced, single file, up the angular stairwell. Halfway up, Shepard gave the gesture to freeze.

"Stupid machine!" came a deep, guttural voice. "Access encrypted files!"

Wrex recognized the voice instantly, "A Krogan."

"No! I _don't_ want to review protocol! Give me what I want before I blast your_ virtual_ ass into _actual_ dust!"

The squad moved up. The last Krogan they had faced had been crushed by Liara's biotics. She wasn't here now. They'd have to improvise.

Shepard wasn't worried, at least not enough to cause him serious concern, but they would have to approach this one carefully.

As they came to the top of the stairs, they caught a glimpse of the Krogan. Clad in the same silvery Geth armor, it was growling and almost raging at the primary ExoGeni databank. A VI interface, an orange tinted humanoid, was explaining that it couldn't provide access to the files without clearance.

Garrus stepped out to the left, Wrex went out to the right. Tali would hang back to provide electronic support. Shepard took central position, all three would focus their fire and, hopefully, knock the alien out before it could wreak too much havoc.

Shepard flicked an indicator on the squad HUD, and all three of them opened up.

The Krogan was rocked forward by the impacts, stumbling through the VI's image, before twisting back and towards the squad. Powerful kinetic barriers had stopped most of the shots, but the Krogan's armor was dented in many places.

However, a tactical error had caused Garrus to get in front of Wrex. The Krogan struck Garrus, sent the Turian to the floor, and then turned on Wrex. Shepard found himself reminded of a rampaging bull in a china shop.

"Fire at will!" he barked, hammering down his trigger.

His first burst stitched a line of blue impact points into the Krogan's formidable kinetic barriers, and the massive alien found cover behind an outcropping of stone debris. And, for a moment, the air around the debris seemed to shift.

"Biotic!" called Shepard, "Hit the deck!"

The outcropping exploded outwards, stone debris slamming against the walls and roof, sending great plumes of dust into the air. Shepard felt bits and pieces of stone impact his helmet, and he was more than thankful he was wearing it.

"Wrex! Take it out!"

Wrex thrust his arm out, and a biotic push took the enemy Krogan off his feet and into the wall. Stone splintered, fractured and shattered under the impact. Wrex's concentration wasn't as good as it could have been, however, and the Krogan found itself on its feet before Shepard could bring his weapon to bear. The Krogan, however, had brought its own rifle to bear.

Shepard braced for impacts that never came. The Krogan bellowed and tossed his rifle to the side, Tali had overloaded the heatsinks.

For a second everything seemed to pause. The Krogan eyed Shepard and his squad for a moment, seemed to sum them all up, and charged.

Cradling his assault rifle in his left arm, Shepard drew his pistol with his right. Heavier rounds might stand a better chance of getting through the Krogan's thick, natural armor. Shepard fired twice.

The first two projectiles slammed into the bone plates on the Krogan's head, shattering them and sending fractures and cracks down the rest. The Krogan stopped in his tracks, standing there woozily before it seemed to remember its rage and begin to stumble towards Shepard.

Shepard fired again, the shot bouncing off the Krogan's thick skull.

It was only when Shepard's next shot ripped through an eye socket, to pulp the brain behind it, did the Krogan finally drop to the floor.

Wrex made his way over to the body. "Redundant nervous system," he grunted, "Make sure he doesn't get back up."

"How?" asked Shepard,

Wrex wrenched open the Krogan's formidable jaws, "Like this." He forced his shotgun into the Krogan's mouth and, before Shepard could respond, pulled the trigger.

Shepard had seen people die. He had killed people, with a gun, a knife, his bare hands. But he had never seen that. "Jesus Christ, Wrex. Was that necessary?"

"Anyone who fights us is either stupid, or on Saren's payroll," Wrex added as if it explained his brutality, "Killing the latter is business. Killing the former is a favor to the universe."

"Tali," Shepard said, taking his mind away from wondering whether Wrex could get any more brutal. First Fist and now this. "Check the database. Time to find out why the Geth are here."

A few moments later, Tali gave her report. It wasn't what Shepard wanted to hear. "It's been purged. Evidently not by Saren if that Krogan was any indication."

"So, then who was it?" asked Garrus.

"Someone who doesn't want us to know what's happening here," said Shepard, finally feeling like his suspicions were confirmed. Fai Dan and Jeong had both directed him here, and why? "There's nothing for us here, and I think that was the point all along. I bet Jeong can give us some answers. Let's move."

The squad rounded a corner on the route back to the Mako. Suddenly, a projectile ricocheted off Shepard's kinetic barriers. Snarling for his team to find cover, Shepard brought his rifle to bear on the target.

It was only Shepard's well-honed mental reflexes that prevented him from blasting the target's skull to pieces. The shooter wasn't a Geth, but a young woman.

"I almost blew your head off," Shepard stated as he lowered his weapon.

"Yes," the woman squeaked, "Sorry. My name is Elizabeth Baynham."

"Juliana's daughter? Good. But what are you doing here? This place isn't safe."

"I know. When everyone started running, I stayed to back up some data. Next thing I know is that some kind of ship has latched onto the side of the building and the power's gone out. And all the kinetic barriers went up. ExoGeni really doesn't want-" She stopped suddenly.

"ExoGeni doesn't want _what_?"

Lizbeth shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not supposed to say. ExoGeni would have my head."

"I have to know. I'm here to stop the Geth. I have to know why they're here."

Lizbeth sighed, "I think they're here for the Thorian."

"Thorian? Huh." Wrex shrugged, his eyes flicking over towards Shepard. "Nothing I've ever heard of."

"Understandable. It's the only one of its kind. An indigenous life form. Well, it's kind of like a plant. Thousands of years old. ExoGeni was studying it."

"A plant?" That seemed odd and strange to Shepard, would could a plant possibly hope to give the Geth? They were a synthetic race, Shepard didn't imagine they took much interest in botany. "Where is it?" asked Shepard insistently, "Why would the Geth want it?"

Lizbeth shuffled her eyes between Shepard and his squad members, she was nervous and that only made Shepard more intrigued. Eventually, however, she began to speak. About the Thorian, about Exogeni, about Zhu's Hope, about _everything_.

It all painted one horrifying picture.

"My God," was all Shepard said.

* * *

_Since I don't like doing these 'notes' at the end of each section, I figure I'll add them as reviews every time I add an update - from this one onwards._


	28. Part V: Auctus, Ch IV: Null Breath

**Chapter IV - Null Breath  
**

The whole situation was far more dangerous than Shepard had previous believed.

The Thorian was a far different power, a far different resource, than anything Shepard - or anyone else - had encountered before. If Lizbeth had been accurate, then the Thorian didn't just pose a threat to Zhu's Hope or Feros, but to everyone in the entire galaxy. A threat to concepts and ideas that people took for granted.

And Shepard would die before he would let Saren obtain control of such an insidious power.

Even now, as Shepard pushed the Mako back towards Zhu's Hope as fast as the battle-damaged vehicle could manage, he knew he would be too late.

There would be no 'saving' Zhu's Hope. The mission directives had changed. Now, it fell to Shepard to minimize casualties as much as possible - and set the rest of it to the torch.

Shepard held a finger over the Mako's communication console. Kaidan would argue with the orders. Kaidan was a fine 2IC, but Shepard needed someone who would act on his orders without question. Time was of the essence.

"This is Commander Shepard to Chief Williams, sitrep."

"Good to hear from you, skipper. Situation is quiet down here. No sign of Geth activity. How is it on your end?"

Shepard frowned. How could he phrase this next part? "The situation... is fluid, Chief. I need you to find Kaidan and Liara and immediately isolate yourself from the Zhu's Hope colonists. Get your helmets on and switch to internal oxygen supplies."

"Sir? Did I hear right? Are you absolutely sure about this? They've been acting a bit weird, I know they're sick, but-"

"Weird? Explain."

Ashley sighed. "A few of them tried asking questions about you, the_ Normandy_, a few other things. I figured I'd give them the basics. They were wondering when the _Normandy_ would land-"

"You have your orders, Chief. Get the colonists inside and establish a defensive position."

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't see the-"

"You don't have to understand, Chief, just obey. The entirety of the colony has been compromised. Fall back to the parking garage. My squad and I are en-route with the Mako."

"Skipper... what are you planning?"

"I don't know, Ash. But be prepared for anything. Things are going to get real ugly real fast. Shepard out."

"Shepard, we should be coming up on the ExoGeni camp now-"

"-anybody reading this? Can anybody hear me-" It was Juliana's voice.

And Jeong. "Get her away from that goddamn radio!"

Lizbeth gasped, "That's my mother! Stop the rover!"

Shepard shook his head. "We can't afford to-"

"Stop the damn rover!" she demanded, "She might be able to help! And she's my mother, for God's sake!"

Briefly Shepard wondered what it'd be like to feel such an attachment towards another person, and stopped the Mako. He popped the atmospheric seals, wondering how dangerous that was now. The world felt poisoned.

But he had a job to do. "Alright, everyone out!"

Lizbeth had already broken into a run, towards the sound of raised voices. Shepard swore and went after her.

Down in the ExoGeni camp, pandemonium seemed to have broken loose.

"Get her out of here!" Jeong was snarling. "All you had to do was sit down and stay away from the goddamn radio! Just shut up and let me think!"

Lizbeth rounded the corner. "Get away from her, you son of a bitch!"

"Lizbeth!" That was Juliana.

Shepard paused at the corner. He needed to know the situation. Walking into a powder keg wasn't high on the list of his priorities, especially not when a man like Jeong was holding the match.

"And you sure as hell aren't alone. Come out! All of you!" called Jeong, his voice mad and panicky. "Come out where I can see you!"

Shepard knew that Jeong was aware that control was slipping, and that he was now scrabbling for every little piece of it. Exogeni's control of Feros, of their secret knowledge, and of Jeong's own control of the scientists in the room; it was all rapidly falling away from him. Shepard knew how unpredictable that made him, and just how dangerous. Jeong was an annoyance before, now he was a threat.

"I knew it was you, Shepard. God-" He threw his arms up, "It was just too much to hope for that the Geth would kill you." Jeong snapped to his security team, "Take their weapons!"

Shepard's pistol came out. The security team paused, awaiting an order.

"We don't need any of that, Commander," Jeong said, "We've got it all under control."

"Doesn't seem that way to me. What the hell did you do, Jeong? What the hell is ExoGeni really doing here?"

Jeong sighed in irritation, "So you know. Then you know it's not a simple thing. ExoGeni wants this place purged."

"An entire colony?" That was Garrus.

"But this is a Human colony!" cried Lizbeth, "You can't just repurpose us."

"Assets are to be... liquidated," Jeong continued, "This colony belongs to ExoGeni. You belong to ExoGeni. The Thorian belongs to ExoGeni and the Thorian is more valuable than a few colonists!"

"Which is why you used them in your experiments. And now Zhu's Hope has been compromised. You wanted to understand what that thing was capable of? It has enslaved the minds of everyone there and they are now endangering my crew, if they haven't attacked them already. Think very carefully now, Jeong. I'm rapidly losing my patience here."

"Well, I'm just doing my job, Shepard! Zhu's Hope will be purged and all evidence of it will be erased! I don't know what you're doing here, chasing the Geth and sticking your nose where it doesn't belong! Just like Noveria!"

"Why?" asked Juliana, "What's so goddamn important that you're going to go this far, Jeong?"

Shepard didn't let Jeong answer. "It's a telepathic life form living under Zhu's Hope. The colony was a control group. The Thorian has taken over their minds, they'll go completely berserk the moment it feels threatened. All because ExoGeni wanted to know what that thing's capable of. The Geth are looking for it, it's why they're here. They'll tear up the whole planet to find it-"

"I'm not the only one in the wrong here!" shrieked Jeong. His eyes were frantic, mad. "Your daughter knew about it as well, Juliana!"

"-and I'm going to deal with it before they get it."

"You'll what? You'll do no such thing! Guards!"

"I'm not asking anymore, Jeong," Shepard growled, staring towards Jeong over the barrel of his own pistol. "I'm telling. I'll burn the Thorian down, rip it out of the ground, anything to ensure that Saren and the Geth don't get their hands on something that powerful." His eyes narrowed, "Do not do anything that you'll regret."

"Like you're in any position to be making threats," snarked Jeong.

"You misunderstand me. It was a warning. My team and I have kinetic barriers and battleplate. Your security team might, you don't."

"I have my orders. Same as you. I've read your file, followed the news. You won't risk lives unnecessarily. That's not your style. You can just leave, tell the Alliance that the Geth destroyed the colony, I'm sure ExoGeni will reimburse you."

"I'm not leaving. Take your best shot. You won't get another."

"Well..." muttered Jeong, "if that's the way it has to be."

It was the small things that Shepard noticed. Posture, inflection, body language. Jeong broadcast his intentions a moment before he fired. In that moment, Shepard took a breath.

Shepard shot first. A trio of blasts took Jeong in the chest and knocked him to the floor. Shepard spun, shot two more security guards in their legs. Some threw up their hands and dropped their weapons. Others joined the civilian scientists in howling with fear and trying to get away from the sudden explosion of violence.

"Garrus, Wrex." Shepard said slowly, "Police their weapons. The ExoGeni security team is hereby relieved of their duties by my authority as a Spectre. Use your discretion if they resist."

Shepard exhaled.

"Are you alright, Commander?" asked Tali.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. It had to be done," Shepard said, as much to himself as to Tali. He turned to the two ExoGeni scientists. "Now, Lizbeth, Juliana, I'm going to go back to Zhu's Hope - but I need a weapon. Is there anything else you can tell me about this Thorian? Can its mental compulsion be undone?"

Lizbeth looked to her mother. "We don't know. Maybe if you kill the Thorian they'll snap out of it. We don't know if that'll even-"

"It's still a start," Shepard said, "But I bet the colonists won't let us anywhere near it without a fight. I want to avoid killing them. This isn't their fault."

Juliana frowned thoughtfully, "How does the Thorian exert control, Lizbeth?"

"It spreads spores throughout the target body and hijacks control of the nervous system. It uses pain, headaches, nausea, that sort of thing to exert control-"

"Spores?" gasped Tali, seeming to reflexively check her suit. "Eurgh."

"Don't vomit inside your helmet," Wrex commented,

"I'm not going to vomit inside my helmet!" Tali shot back rather petulantly.

"I have, once. Real fun."

"That's disgusting, Wrex." Garrus said, shaking his head behind a T-shaped visor.

"You say that like it was a conscious decision for me." He shrugged it off as he usually did, "But I don't have a phobia of the outside world."

"I do not have a phobia!" hissed Tali. Wrex had finally found just what button to press.

"Well, at least this spore stuff explains Kaidan's migraines," drawled Garrus. "Sorry," he said after a moment, "Bad joke."

"If you're finished?" asked Juliana imperiously.

"Oh. Sorry."

"Now, Liz, if it's controlling them via these spores, then all that has to be done is-"

"-to nullify the spores, yes!" Lizbeth frowned, "We could try a nerve agent. There's an insecticide we would use in the gro-labs on samples of the Thorian. It contained trace amounts of tetraclopine."

"Tetra-what?" asked Shepard.

"Tetraclopine," Lizbeth repeated, "It's a neuromuscle degenerator, it affects the nervous system. It may act as a paralytic agent."

Garrus looked uncomfortable. "Nerve gas, Shepard? Are we sure about this?"

"It's that or we kill them. We're out of options."

"And if they survive, physically or mentally impaired?"

"I'll take full responsibility, Garrus. Next question is, how do we hit them with the gas?"

"Can either of you provide me with schematics of the deployment systems of this gas?" Tali asked, flashing her omni-tool. After a few moments of careful consideration, she nodded. "We could perhaps adapt our standard grenades to make use of the gas as a payload."

"And hope it doesn't go off in our hands," sighed Garrus.

Shepard handed over his grenades to Tali, Lizbeth and Juliana. Wrex and Garrus followed suit. "Do it. Get started, I want them ready fifteen seconds ago. It's a risk, but we don't have much time."

* * *

Armed with weapons, the Mako was proceeding to Zhu's Hope. Shepard, in the rear with Wrex, cradled one of the modified grenades in his hand. It certainly didn't seem any different.

Garrus' voice came from the front compartment. "And we're sure this won't affect us?" he asked.

Shepard remembered what Lizbeth and Juliana had told them. "It shouldn't, in theory. But you might want to wear your helmets."

Garrus was eying his grenades dubiously. Shepard knew this because Garrus hadn't stopped eyeing them since Shepard had pressed several into the Turian's hands. Garrus still wasn't sure about it. Neither was Shepard, but there was simply no other option.

"I just..." Garrus shook his head, "Malevolent planet-wide intelligences were not in the C-Sec handbook."

Wrex grunted. "Welcome to reality, kid. Try to keep up."

"Neither was an Elcor organ thief. Can you believe that? Doesn't mean I couldn't bring him in."

Tali had taken the opportunity to ride shotgun. If the situation wasn't so dire, Shepard might've taken the opportunity to familiarize her with the Mako's systems. Of course, she may have done so already. "We're five minutes out," she reported.

Shepard thumbed his communication toggle. He paused, waiting to hear a voice - any voice. "And no contact from Ashley's team."

A longer pause. Tali's voice. "I hope they're alright."

"Williams is a fine soldier," replied Garrus, "I'd be worried if I was facing her."

"Either way, we can't waste time. Our team might not want to kill them, but I bet the colonists don't have the same reservations. Our objective is to push to the centre of Zhu's Hope and locate the Thorian's primary neural node - whatever that is. According to Baynham's data, it is located beneath the colony."

"So, what," said Wrex, "We tear it out?"

"We're putting a gun to its head," said Garrus. "It might choose to negotiate."

"We don't even know how intelligent it is. And if its controlling people like puppets... I wouldn't count on it. And there's one final thing. Let's avoid civilian casualties but..." Shepard frowned, trying to make this sound better in words than it did in his head. "Remember, the job of a soldier is to destroy the enemy and come home alive. To that end, do what you have to do."

"Commander?" asked Tali, "We've got a problem. The access codes to Zhu's Hope must have been changed. We can't get in."

"We could blast our way in," offered Wrex. "This vehicle has a powerful cannon."

"No," Shepard replied. "I told Ashley to rendezvous with us in that bay. We can't take that risk." Shepard smiled behind his helmet, "And I bet our electronics specialist here can get us past any defences they've set up." The Mako stopped and Shepard was the first one out.

"Just be ready for anything," he warned. "I don't think even ExoGeni had anticipated this."

It was quiet. No colonists, no Geth. Shepard appraised the heavy door that separated Zhu's Hope from the skyway. Did the Thorian have enough intelligence to know to lock it and disable the access codes? Did that mean it could access memories?

What exactly was it?

"We're locked out! Tali, get this door open. We'll cover you."

Tali went to work, pulling open panels and exposing conduits and wires. It was always intriguing to watch her work, Shepard realized. He didn't understand electronics. He didn't really understand Tali, either. For a moment, as he watched, he wondered which one he was trying to figure out. Those fleeting pleasant thoughts vanished when something shuffled in the dirt behind them.

"Uh, Shepard?" said Garrus, "We've got something here."

Shepard turned and found himself looking at, as best as he could determine, a walking corpse.

It reminded Shepard of one of the Geth Husks he had encountered on Eden Prime. Its skin was an ash-gray, with hands that seemed to resemble talons more than anything else. Shepard was willing to bet it was no less deadly, and no less hostile.

_A scout, perhaps? To see how we react?_

"I think we've found the previous control groups..." said Shepard, filled with a powerful sense of revulsion at the thing in front of him. It had been human once, it had had a life once. Not anymore.

Now it existed to serve the Thorian.

"What do we do, Shepard? Is this a colonist?"

"I hope not," replied Shepard as the thing took one creeping step towards the squad. "Kill it."

Garrus and Wrex opened up. Thick yellow ichor sprayed across the walls and floor.

"It's still coming!"

"Its nervous system is hijacked," Shepard realized. "Shoot it in the head!"

Garrus' next bullet blasted the thing's head apart like an overripe melon.

"No brain," said Shepard, "No system to hijack."

But more of the corpses had appeared from somewhere. Given the debris strewn nature of the skyway and Feros, Shepard wasn't sure if he'd even be able to spot where they were coming from. They shambled towards the four of them. Suddenly, Shepard realised a terrifying detail - not one of them had eyes.

They were all a part of the Thorian now. Shepard checked his rifle and fumed. What ExoGeni had done here was inexcusable. He took aim and raked his assault rifle back and forth over the cluster of Thorian servitors.

It seemed to work, holding them back. For a moment they didn't seem so fierce. Then, as one, they charged.

Wrex met them head on. He threw one to the ground and blasted its head into streaks of messy gore. Garrus slammed his rifle into another, following it up with a backhand blow from his armored gauntlet. Shepard estimated he had fractured the creature's spine.

Destroying the brain or severing its ability to send impulses throughout the body. Either tactic seemed to work.

One of them managed to make its way through Shepard's fusillade, its body leaking several unidentifiable fluids. It latched onto Shepard's outstretched arm.

It was strong, stronger than any dessicated corpse had any right to be. The thing opened its mouth, and a thick green substance bubbled and frothed there, drooling out of the corners of its mouth like some rabid beast. Suddenly fearful, Shepard attempted to jerk his arm back, but the creature held tight.

Upon contact, the green goo hissed and popped against the thick armor plating on Shepard's forearm.

For a brief moment, Shepard almost panicked. Kinetic barriers were only designed to stop fast-moving projectiles. They weren't designed to stop something like that.

He brought a leg up and lashed out. The corpse creature loosened its grip for a split second, and that was all Shepard needed.

With a grunt of exertion, Shepard threw the creature off himself and slammed his helmet into its face. It reared back to swipe its claws at him, and Shepard shot it in the head.

And with that, it was quiet. Easily a dozen of the Thorians... slaves? Servitors? Zombies? had been slain - for good, Shepard hoped.

"Watch their mouths," Shepard said as he kicked the corpse, half out of frustration, half to make sure it was actually dead. "They spit some kind of acid. A poison, maybe. Don't let them grab you."

The doors came open with a grinding noise, as if they protested against Shepard's team. The whole planet felt hostile now. As such, it was that much more of a relief when Shepard spotted Ashley, Kaidan and Liara only a short distance away. At the sound of the doors opening Ashley had looked back, towards Shepard, and leaned out of cover.

Ashley fired a burst, the colonists scurrying for cover as bullets scythed through the air above their heads.

Seizing his change, Shepard broke into a run and slid down across the dirt, a few stray rounds bouncing off his kinetic barriers, and into cover with Ashley.

"Nice of you to finally join us, skipper!"

"Sitrep!"

"Alenko and T'soni have been holding them back with biotics! They're not going to last much longer sir, and I'm feeling really trigger happy!"

Shepard passed her a batch of grenades, "Try these instead! Nerve gas! Theyll knock the colonists out. I don't want a bloodbath!"

"Wish they were just as reasonable, sir!"

"Knock the colonists out if at all possible. Gun down the walking corpses."

"Walking corpses, sir?"

"You'll know them when you see them!" Shepard poked his head out, and tossed a grenade towards the rifle-armed colonists.

The grenade gave a small pop, and a thick noxious looking gas suddenly swamped the colonists. Almost immediately they collapsed, as if tranquilized or a switch had been turned off in their brain.

"Outstanding," muttered Shepard, grinning at the sight, feeling a slight surge of relief. "Let's keep the momentum up, we're dead if we get pinned down!"

The reunited squad met resistance almost immediately. As the squad moved into the perimeter of Zhu's Hope they found themselves swarmed by the Thorian's creepers. They broke like water on Shepard's squad, but some of them managed to get close enough to force hand-to-hand combat. An ocean was a good way to describe them, Shepard realized. It was like fighting one entity, they all moved in perfect co-ordination. Colonists with firearms would lay down suppressive fire, allowing the creepers to get close enough to pin down Shepard's squad.

"Watch each other's backs," Shepard said, "I think these things are smarter then they seem."

They moved into the prefab habitation units. The fighting would get bloody now, Shepard knew. Urban warfare was a meat grinder and while boxy prefab units didn't quite compare to some of the battlefields Shepard knew about or had served on, it was still a situation he would have liked to avoid. Shepard tossed a grenade through a window and peeked around a corner. They were close to the center of the colony, and close to the heaviest of the Thorian's defenses.

He didn't like what he glimpsed.

The creepers had immersed themselves within a small crowd of colonists. Human shields. Shepard couldn't risk firing into the crowd.

Shepard leaned back. "It is intelligent," he reported, "It's adapting to our strategies. Goddamnit."

Garrus was still looking down his scope. His armor was streaked with ichor. "Then what do we do?"

"Be more accurate. Garrus, Williams, take out the zombies. I'll have a grenade ready."

Garrus and Williams swung out, their sniper rifles barking in rapid fire. Several of the creepers fell, but sniper rifles weren't made for such abuse. Heat sinks began to chime and flashing warning symbols. Garrus was quick, his hands switching out the heat sink with a spare. He leaned out again and...

...was rocked back by several powerful shots.

"Barriers down! It's Arcelia," he reported, "If we try to move she'll cut us down!"

Shepard remembered the mean-looking weapon that Arcelia had been hefting. It'd be able to punch holes in the Mako, Shepard didn't like the idea of what it could do to someone in heavy battle armor. Much less someone in an environment suit.

They were his responsibility. He pulled a grenade.

"Fire in the hole!" Shepard exclaimed.

The grenade clattered to the ground near Arcelia. One of the creepers seemed to look at it.

And then it did something Shepard did not expect.

The creeper threw itself onto the grenade.

"They're protecting her, they know that we're pinned. We need to get moving right the hell now. Wrex, you're easily the toughest one here. Find a way through the hab units, outflank her. Otherwise we'll get ripped to shreds. By that gun or the Thorian's monsters."

"On it, Shepard."

Shepard slammed the butt of his rifle into a Thorian beast that rounded the corner. Kaidan and Liara thrust another two into the sides of a building, crumpling the side under the force. Every shot Garrus fired found a head. If any made it into close quarters, Tali and Shepard opened up with their weapons and cut them to ribbons. But it was all irrelevant if they could not advance. Shepard knew that they couldn't keep this up forever, the Thorian seemed to have an unlimited supply of corpses. Just how many people had ExoGeni sacrificed to it?

Then, a roar. Wrex.

Shepard yelled, "Now!" and his squad moved.

Only a few dozen meters away, Shepard could see Wrex throw a pair of Thorian creepers aside as he dashed towards Arcelia. Distracted by a rampaging Krogan, Shepard had the perfect opportunity to grenade a cluster of colonists that were supporting Arcelia.

Arcelia swung her heavy weapon to bear, but Wrex was already on top of her.

Wrex pistoned a mighty fist into Arcelia's stomach, and another blow into the side of her head. Arcelia went down, curling around her abdomen. Shepard could see that she was bleeding from her mouth.

"Wrex!" Shepard barked, "Do you remember what I said?"

Wrex looked down, pressed his three thick fingers against Arcelia's neck. He shrugged his massive shoulders.

"She's just unconscious. She'll live." He kicked Arcelia's weapon well away from her.

"She better, Wrex. Or I'll find some way to hold you accountable for it."

"If I wanted her to die she'd be dead already." Wrex grinned that dangerous grin of his, "Trust me."

Turning away from the Krogan and towards the centre of the colony, Shepard took a quick count. By his rough estimate that seemed to account for most, if not all, of the Zhu's Hope colonists. However, Shepard was sure there was one missing - Where was Fai Dan?

In the end, it didn't matter. Destroying the Thorian would break its compulsion and, theoretically, restore the men and women of Zhu's Hope to their former selves. Lizbeth had stressed 'theoretically'.

And, of course, unless Fai Dan was one of those things... Shepard tried not to think about it as he took stock of the colony.

The freighter in the center of Zhu's Hope had been moved. It had been hiding a stone staircase that led down into the dark recesses of the tower, and perhaps beneath Feros itself. If Lizbeth was correct, the Thorian would be down there. Shepard had no intention of being ambushed.

"Garrus, Williams, give them a grenade."

They obliged. Shepard was about to descend into the threatening darkness when he heard a voice. It was one he recognized, despite the intense pain behind it.

"Fai Dan?"

"Shepard... Shepard, it is in me. It wants me to stop you... so much pain."

"Just hold on. My team and I are going to put a stop to this."

"No! No, no time. I need to stop you to end this... but I won't."

Shepard knew that there was no way he could reach Fai Dan in time. He could only watch as Fai Dan placed the pistol against his temple.

"I won't."

"Don't do this!"

"I _won't_!"

Shepard was still looking when Fai Dan pulled the trigger. The squad moved on without a word, Shepard wouldn't let Fai Dan's sacrifice - or the sacrifices of anyone within Zhu's Hope - be in vain.

* * *

The stairway seemed to proceed downwards for eternity. The air was thick with dust - spores, Shepard had to remind himself - and Shepard suddenly had the strange feeling that he might've been out of his depth.

"Everyone stay frosty and watch your intervals," he cautioned as their footsteps crunched onto dirt. Just how deep were they? "No telling where those things will come from, or when."

"Got it. Skipper, might I ask what your plan is?"

"Well, apparently the Thorian is intelligent, so, we'll try reasoning with it first. I don't know if that's possible, if it's enslaving people..."

"Well, really, how much of a problem could a plant pose? I mean-" Ashley's voice trailed off as her eyes focused on something. Shepard followed them with his own and found himself staring at...

"This is..." Kaidan said. "This is..."

"Keelah..." gasped Tali,

"We..." Garrus' voice trailed off, "...are going to need bigger guns."

They had found the Thorian.


	29. Part V: Auctus, Ch V: True Madness

**Chapter V - True Madness**

"These things are never easy," muttered Shepard as he tried to come to grips with the colossal _thing_ that loomed above them. It hung suspended over an infinite chasm, tentacles and tendrils (perhaps roots, would have be better?) kept it anchored to the caverns around it. It breathed/pulsated grotesquely, dripping with a viscous moisture, and although Shepard couldn't see any eyes he was sure it was scrutinizing him and his squad.

It radiated malevolence. This was the Thorian. This was the cancer at the heart of Feros.

Talking with it had seemed so logical on the trek down but now Shepard wasn't so sure.

As Shepard and his squad took a few tentative steps forward, the Thorian vomited/birthed a figure onto the ground. Slowly, the figure rose to a standing position between Shepard's squad and the vast bulk of the Thorian. Shepard was oddly surprised to come face to face with an Asari.

The Asari, if that is what the figure truly was, was beautiful enough - even with a sharp, almost-predatory cast to her features. However, it wasn't the bizarre green skin, or even the odd carapace which covered most of her body that shocked Shepard. It was the eyes - they simmered with an intense rage.

"Invaders!" she spat, "Your every step is a transgression! A thousand feelers appraise you for meat, good only to dig or decompose! I speak for the Old Growth as I did for Saren. You are within and before the presence of the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe!"

There was awe here, Shepard felt it, but it was a weird awe. A perverse awe. The awe one feels when one stumbles upon roadkill. Knowing that you're seeing something disgusting, but being unable to look away. Still, it seemed intelligent, sentient even. That meant Shepard could negotiate with it.

"We are here to negotiate," he said, "I need you to release your control of the people above us. We are willing to make a deal."

"Unacceptable. The flesh cannot be trusted."

"We're not here to fight. Why can't you trust us?"

"Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone," the Asari/Thorian stated, "The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in the long cycle. Trades were made. And then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. Flesh fairly given."

"Saren betrayed you?" Shepard asked, received no response. "I am hunting him. There is no reason for us to continue to fight-"

The greater bulk of the Thorian twitched like a sleeping giant, "The Old Growth sees the air you push as lies!" snarled the Asari. "It will listen no more!"

"Wait!" snapped Shepard, "All I need is information, I can find the one who hurt you!"

The eyes on the Asari puppet narrowed, "No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long!"

Shepard went for his weapon, when his feet suddenly left the ground and he was flung backwards into the rocky walls of the cavern. The impact knocked the air out of his lungs, yet he pushed himself to his feet. Liara canceled the next biotic attack with one of her own, giving Garrus the time to blast a hole through the puppet Asari.

"I think we have a problem!" remarked Ashley, as a wave of Thorian Creepers came climbing up and over the threshold of the abyss.

"Everyone fall back! Get away from the Thorian!" barked Shepard, "Liara! How do we kill this thing!"

"The Thorian appears to have a central mind but, given its size, it must have secondary neural growths connected by neurofibers. Almost like miniature computers-"

"I don't care what it is! Just tell me how to kill it!"

"Its mind is distributed through a variety of neural nodes! Damaging them should disrupt its consciousness!"

"I could just shoot the tentacles," Garrus said. "If we remove those it'll fall."

"No," replied Liara, "If it really is similar to a plant then we need to remove the root structure itself! Otherwise it will regrow!"

Shepard eyed the criss-crossing tentacles over the abyss. Now, they had a roadmap to kill the Thorian with. "We'll do both, and work from the bottom up. I want this thing dead. Team, on me!"

They were barely three steps back into the tunnel system when a horde of Thorian creepers descended on them.

* * *

The subterranean caverns quickly became a charnel house. The minions of the Thorian came in pairs, groups, an unending stream, but they seemed to have no concern for self-preservation. Illuminated only by gunfire, helmet lights and ancient Prothean equipment, it had all the properties of a nightmare.

The tunnels and passages opened up onto an open cliff that looked over the immense bulk of the Thorian. There was a large growth amongst the rocks, like a fleshy semi-transleucent sac. It was pulsating grotesquely in a manner similar to the Thorian. It had to be a neural node. Above it, a thick tendril/root was anchoring the Thorian to the rocks of the cavern.

As if the creature sensed their presence, a humanoid figure dropped from the ledge above. Impossibly, the Thorian's green Asari - the one Garrus had shot - came out of her crouched landing and brought her arm back for a biotic attack.

_How the hell?_

"Take it out!" ordered Shepard, "I'll deal with her!" Shepard closed in two long strides and grappled her before she could let loose with another biotic attack.

The squad opened up, their weapons blasting holes in the fleshy sac, spilling thick clear fluid down the wall. The screech from the Thorian told him they were right.

"You may destroy one node," the Asari snarled, "But the Thorian is a piece of this world. It extends across the land and back through the ages. You can no more kill it than you could cut the sky!" Green goo, the same as what Shepard had felt on his arm, bubbled in the corners of her mouth.

"We'll see about that," replied Shepard. He pulled his neck back and slammed his helmet into the Asari's face. There was a hideous sounding crack, but the Asari did not scream. And then, before she could recover, Shepard shoved her back and over the edge of the cliff.

The Thorian screamed. It was the only way Shepard could describe it, an unearthly shriek that echoed into the darkest recesses of the caverns.

"Sounds like we can hurt it, Shepard," Wrex nodded.

"That means we can kill it. Let's find the rest of those nodes, right now!"

Ashley was bringing up the rear. "Whatever you did, Skipper, you certainly pissed it off! We've got more of those creepers coming up from behind us! A lot more!"

"Wrex! Liara! Drop back into a rearguard with Williams! Cover our backs!"

"Damn, Shepard, it's like you woke the whole place up!" snarled Wrex, "They're coming right up our ass!"

"Rearguard team, remain for thirty seconds and then follow us!" Shepard ordered, "We need time to find and sever the remaining neural nodes!" He turned to his remaining squad - Kaidan, Garrus and Tali. "Let's move! Don't stop for anything!"

A roar from Wrex accompanied by a roar from Ashley's rifle were like whips on their back.

* * *

The creatures were advancing from below, perhaps from the depths of the abyss the Thorian itself was suspended over. The Thorian would surely have servitors in the above passages, but all that meant was that the rearguard would be facing almost the entirety of the Thorian's wrath.

The squad had blasted almost half a dozen neural nodes and severed many more tendril-roots off the Thorian. The few remaining improvised tetraclopine grenades had proven a wonder at destroying the flesh of the Thorian, but they were long since gone. Now, they had resorted to severing them with bullets, or knives. Garrus was hacking away at one as Shepard covered the route they had taken.

"Kaidan! Try to raise Ashley and Wrex!"

"On it, sir!"

A moment passed. "Kaidan, we don't have a lot of time!"

"I-" Kaidan's usually steadfast voice was tinged with alarm, "We've lost contact with our rearguard! Sir, it might be the caverns or it might be..."

The communications network had failed on Therum, after all. Shepard didn't want to consider the alternative - but he had only told them to wait for thirty seconds, and where were they?

"So that's it," said Garrus, "We can't outrun the thralls if they're gone. There's way too many of them."

"Yeah," Shepard admitted, "The moment we lose our heat sinks..." He shook his head, "We can still finish this. Kaidan, I need you and Tali to continue towards the final anchor point. Garrus and I will hold this location until you accomplish the objective. Kaidan, I'll need some of your grenades."

"Understood, sir," replied Kaidan.

But Tali shook her head fiercely, "No! You and Garrus-"

"The Thorian will send that Asari after you the moment it realizes what we're doing. You'll need a biotic, and Kaidan will require support."

Kaidan nodded, "The Commander's right, Tali."

"I always am. Everything is secondary to completing the mission. Now, get moving. Garrus and I will-" _sell our lives to_ "-buy you some time."

"We'll get it done, Commander. Leave some zombies for us, hey?"

And then the two of them were gone, breaking into a run.

Garrus placed his sniper rifle down, pulled his assault rifle from its hard-point. "Funny," he said, "At a time like this, I wish I'd taken up smoking."

"It'd be a stupid move," replied Shepard as he checked his own weapon.

"Yeah. Yeah, it would be at that. You honestly think she can do it, Shepard?"

Shepard shrugged, "I trust her, which is more than I can say for a lot of people. But it's up to us to keep the Thorian off them." He placed his remaining grenades in the door way, covered them with bits of shrapnel and debris. With luck, it'd shred at least some of the thralls. "Setting grenades to remote detonation."

Garrus sighed, "We really should have grabbed that Arcelia's weapon. That level of firepower would be welcome."

"No use wondering about that. We have the weapons we have, and they'll have to be enough." Shepard pointed behind himself, "Garrus, we'll fall back to the stairwell if this position becomes untenable. It'll funnel them right into a killing ground."

"How many do you suppose we'll face?"

"I think it's impossible to tell. We don't know how many people ExoGeni have sacrificed to this thing. Hundreds, maybe thousands."

"Maybe only dozens. We might get lucky."

"Don't count on luck, Garrus. When idealism meets reality, it's rarely reality that backs down."

A terrible scream, almost an animalistic roar, cut off Garrus' reply. And then Shepard would swear that the floor began to shake as the Thorian launched its attack.

"Here they come!"

The first few creepers through the doorway were scythed down by automatic fire from Garrus and Shepard. For a moment, it seemed as if the confined space would prevent an effective advance. But the thralls kept coming and the moment one broke through the whole defensive line faltered. And yet the creepers never attempted to widen their formation or surround Shepard - the Thorian didn't seem to have a strong grasp of military tactics.

Or perhaps it knew its thralls had the numbers to simply outlast the two of them. They were tools for it, after all. Why would the Thorian care if a few more of them were broken?

Shepard heard Garrus' rifle overheat.

"Garrus! Fall back for five seconds and then cover me!" yelled Shepard, "Detonating grenades!"

In the confined space of the caverns, the detonation seemed impossibly loud. Debris pinged and bounced off Shepard's combat armor. The Thorian thralls weren't so lucky. Fragmentation shards and bits of shrapnel tore and ripped through the soft skin of the creepers, killing some and crippling others.

Shepard and Garrus picked off the few remaining creepers in short order.

"Tali!" Shepard barked as he and Garrus fell back, spraying sporadic fire at the few creepers who had made it past the explosions. "Tali, come in! Alenko, do you read? Report!"

There was nothing but static.

Desperately, more than anything, Shepard wanted to hear Tali's voice. If he could just hear it through the static then everything would be alright.

He heard nothing.

The numbers of Thorian thralls had diminished and had seemingly backed off as Garrus and Shepard retreated up the stairwell. The Thorian had demonstrated its power, and Shepard was sure that the colossal entity was toying with them.

And if it was truly telepathic then it would know the torment that was wracking Shepard.

Garrus sighed, an oddly Human gesture. "My father always said that the Spectres would be the death of me."

"And my... mentor said that I'd probably recklessly throw my life away. I'd say this counts."

Odd, Shepard found himself wanting to say 'father'.

"Hah," replied Garrus, "Never figured anyone would call you reckless. Tightly wound, perhaps."

"And you're not? I was a different person then."

Garrus just nodded and went back to watching the route that he and Shepard had just taken. "They're taking their time."

"Who? Tali, or the Thorian?"

Garrus gave a slight chuckle, "Both, but I was meaning the Thorian."

"Probably massing their numbers," Shepard mused, "In case we pull a similar stunt with explosives. Listen, Garrus, I'm sorry about this."

"Don't be. We're doing good - real good. More than I would ever do at C-Sec."

"I've thrown seven lives away for nothing, Garrus. I'm not happy about it. Shit, this is it!"

"It's been an honor, Commander!" Garrus snapped as he sighted down his rifle.

"Likewise!"

They fired into the tide of surging corpse-creatures. Dozens fell to the floor, riddled with holes from full automatic assault rifle fire. Dozens more stampeded over the corpses. Line after line of them fell. The stairs acted as an effective strong-point, slowing the Thorian's advance as corpses tumbled down the stairs and into the charging horde.

And yet the gray tide would not end.

Shepard had never considered death. He had a mission to complete, he had to stop Saren. He could not die until it was completed. It had all seemed so simple.

But now, as Shepard realized that his gun was rapidly close to shutting itself down to preserve its integrity, that the Thorian's minions were rapidly advancing, he had the strangest sensation that this was it.

He'd cheated death twice. A third time was, perhaps, too much to hope for.

And then a wave of invisible force slammed into the front rank of creepers, sending them crashing into the walls, over the edges.

Kaidan and Tali were there, suddenly by his side.

"Mission accomplished, sir!" Kaidan announced, "Garrus! Sniper! Tendril! Three o' clock, high!"

Shepard turned to see what Kaidan had called for. Garrus was quick, lined up the shot, and severed the final tendril.

The Thorian fell into the abyss. And, as the Thorian fell, its servants immediately broke off their attack, hurling themselves over the edge, as if to aid their master. As if they sensed the irrevocable, inevitable nature of what had just happened and wished to share in the Thorian's fate. As if they were all one.

Maybe the Thorian was dead, maybe it wasn't but, for the moment, it was dealt with. It wouldn't threaten the colonists, not for a while at least. Shepard would put forth a recommendation to return here with more well-equipped soldiers, burn the place to cinders, just to ensure it.

Shepard realized he was laughing. "You never told me you had a sense for dramatic timing, Lieutenant."

Kaidan just shrugged, "And I didn't even have any acting classes at Brain Camp, sir."

"I think you missed your calling," said Garrus.

And Tali... Shepard just stared into that reflective faceplate, trying to discern something to say. Something that wouldn't sound poor and inadequate.

In the end, he didn't say anything. Shepard just drew Tali into his arms and embraced her tightly.

After a moment, suddenly aware at what he was doing, Shepard pulled himself back. There was one more thing.

"Come on," Shepard said, "Let's go see if we can find any... survivors."

* * *

The cavern floor was covered in a layer of rapidly-decomposing corpses, but not one of them was wearing Alliance combat armor, and not one of them was Krogan. There were a few Asari corpses, but not one of them was blue.

It, however, did not alleviate Shepard's grim thoughts.

"Commander," said Kaidan, "Perhaps we should return to the surface and hail the_ Normandy_?"

Shepard kicked a few corpses over, to check under them. He scanned the immediate area with his helmet lights. No luck. "We're not leaving, Lieutenant. Not until we find Liara, Wrex and Ash, alive or dead."

"Sir, with all due respect, we know the Thorian took-"

"That's _enough_, Alenko." Shepard's tone left no room for argument.

The next bend brought them face to face with someone familiar. Wrex raised his arms over his face, "Shepard, stop shining that damn light in my eyes." Liara seemed tiny behind the Krogan's immense, armored bulk.

Shepard did so, "Wrex? Liara? Where's Ashley?"

The Krogan shrugged, "I don't know, Shepard. We got separated."

"You were supposed to stick together."

"That's easy for you to say. She was behind me and then she wasn't. All I know is, I haven't seen her either way - dead or alive."

They trudged further into the darkness. At least, now, they would not have to worry about a horde of Thorian slaves screaming down the tunnels towards them.

Then, Shepard caught a glimpse of something that wasn't a dead Creeper or organic detritus. Something that, despite the discoloration of grime and other materials, reminded him of Alliance combat armor.

"There!" called Shepard, "There! I see something!"

It was Ashley, face down, left leg twisted at an odd angle, completely unresponsive. Her suit didn't seem to have been breached by claws or acid, but...

"Kaidan, vitals, now!"

Kaidan's omni-tool came to alive, interfacing with the medical computers on Ashley's suit as he took a reading of her vitals. "She's alive, sir. I'll get her back on her feet."

As if on cue, Ashley let out a long, prolonged groan as she rolled herself onto her back. Slowly, gingerly, Ashley reached up and pulled her helmet away. She smiled weakly and snapped a sloppy salute, "I think I took a bit of nasty fall, skipper. Think you can help me up?"

"You sure you can stand?"

"No, but it beats lying here in this crap. And I think Kaidan's pumped me full of enough painkillers and adrenaline to kill Wrex."

Wrex grunted something incomprehensible as Shepard and Kaidan hauled Ashley into a standing position. She winced as she found her feet, attempted to take pressure off her left leg.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should carry you out?"

"No Williams has ever been carried off the battlefield. I can stand, sir, it's not broken. Just hurts like hell." She stretched and moved the limb for emphasis, "It's good to see you, skipper."

"You too, Ash." Shepard extended his hand, and then realized the horrible awkwardness of such a greeting. But Ashley grasped his hand and pulled him in close. "You too. I thought you were-"

"Dead?" Ashley smirked, "It'll take more than a few horror rejects to put a Williams down, sir. I just took a bad fall is all. But... it's nice to know you care, sir. Think we can get the hell out of these caverns?"

"I hate to break this up," interrupted Garrus, "but there's something moving in that thing on the wall."

Garrus was right. Shepard couldn't think of what to call what he saw. A pod, a cocoon, a membranous sac, a fleshy growth. But there was something inside it, something moving.

An arm pushed through the membrane of the sac with a disgusting popping sound, a thick clear liquid splashing down onto the dirt.

"Hold your fire!" barked Shepard.

The form within pushed again against the membrane, rupturing it further. Then, once the split was wide enough, a humanoid figure tumbled free of the sac and onto the rocks.

Seven weapons came up.

It was the green-skinned Asari clone, although the tone of her skin was now a far more conventional blue. Even though she was coated in what Shepard supposed was a sort of amniotic fluid, he recognized the armor of Matriarch Benezia's elite commandos instantly.

She coughed and spluttered and shivered but did not rise.

"Get up," growled Shepard.

The Asari climbed to her feet, wiping slime off her face and suit of armor. She eyed Shepard's team somewhat suspiciously, "I suppose I have you all to thank for freeing me," When no response was forthcoming, the Asari sighed. "My name is Shiala, I am a follower of Matriarch Benezia-"

"_Was_, actually," said Ashley.

"Ash!" snapped Shepard. No need to turn this Shiala against them. "How'd you end up here?"

"Benezia believed that Saren could be turned from his destructive goal. But Saren is compelling, to say the least. The Matriarch lost her way, as did I. We underestimated Saren, came to believe in his cause and his goals. The strength of his influence is... _troubling_."

"Benezia told us the same thing. And she mentioned a word, _Sovereign_. That's his ship, isn't it?"

Shiala nodded, "Yes. An enormous warship unlike anything I've ever seen. Saren calls it _Sovereign_. And with it, he can dominate the minds of his followers. The process is subtle, it can take days or weeks but, in the end, it is absolute. I was a willing slave when he brought me here-"

"Until Saren offered you up to that thing."

"Yes. I was a... sacrifice to secure an alliance between them. The Thorian's knowledge was incredible. My purpose was to communicate with it, to learn all that I could."

Shepard frowned, "Okay, then there's something I don't understand. I thought Saren was here to gain control of the Thorian's mental compulsion abilities. But if his flagship can perform the same function then it would be redundant, and Saren doesn't strike me as the type. He would not have come all the way out here for that. There has to be another reason."

"Saren knows you are searching for the Conduit, and he knows you follow his every step. The Thorian holds the Cipher, which is what Saren obtained in the... trade. After that, the Thorian became a liability."

"That explains the Geth. The colonists were never their target, the Thorian was. Zhu's Hope was just in the way. Liara, have you ever heard of this 'Cipher' before?"

"No, Commander. I cannot imagine what it is."

"The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions," Shiala explained, "I know that they are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind. The Cipher is the... essence of what it is to be a Prothean, a viewpoint to make sense of the vision."

Shepard gazed down into the abyss. "And how did the Thorian get it? It doesn't seem like any Prothean I've seen in history books."

"It was here for thousands of years, probably more. It observed the Protheans during their time, and it absorbed them into itself when they died. Their knowledge, their memories, it all joined the Thorian's own."

"You make it sound so benevolent, so harmless. You were part of it, you have to know what it was doing up there."

Shiala winced, "Yes. But the Thorian was a rare lifeform, one that perhaps the galaxy will never see again. I know I played my part in hindering your efforts, Commander Shepard. I wish to atone. As I transferred the Cipher to Saren, I can transfer it to you."

Ashley looked over to Shepard. "Skipper, she worked for Benezia. She's one of Saren's troops. How do we know she won't turn your brain inside out?"

"We need the Cipher, Ash. I need to know what that vision was. Shiala just regained her freedom, I don't think she's keen to lose it - permanently, this time." He nodded at Shiala, "Do it."

Shiala nodded, "Try to relax, Commander," she advised, "Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell, reach out to grasp the threads that bind us to one another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit. We are all connected. Every single being united in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander."

With each word, Shepard find himself feeling oddly entranced by Shiala's stare and her voice. Those green eyes that had simmered with rage were no less intense now. He felt his breathing slow, gradually becoming in a rhythm with Shiala's own. His eyes suddenly felt heavy, his limbs felt like dead weights, Shiala's voice was all he was aware of. And there was a cool presence within his mind now, a rush of something he could not describe.

His rifle fell from his fingers as she placed her fingers on his temple.

"Embrace eternity!"


	30. Part V: Auctus, Ch VI: Confessions

**Chapter VI - Confessions  
**

"Not again."

Shepard had awoken in the Normandy's medical bay, his head thrumming with pain. It was familiar, that familiar sensation of Prothean technology and minds from Eden Prime was scratching at his hind-brain. However, it was different now - there were layers upon layers of meaning, threads of ideas that would only slip from his mind as he tried to grasp them, like eels in dark waters-

"Afternoon, skipper. Nice to see you're still with us."

Ashley was standing by the door. Shepard didn't know how much time had passed, but obviously enough for Ashley to dress herself in her naval fatigues.

"How long was I out?"

"About six hours. We dragged you up here once we stopped yelling at the Asari."

"I hope you weren't too hard on her. Given what happened on Eden Prime this wasn't exactly unexpected."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it." Ashley's voice softened, "How're you feeling?"

"Like someone jammed a stunner into my head. Everything's ringing."

Ashley nodded and held up her right hand, "OK. How many fingers am I holding up?"

Shepard forced himself up onto this elbows and squinted in the direction of Ashley's hand, "Four."

Ashley looked at her hand and the five splayed fingers. She looked back at Shepard.

"I'm joking, Ash."

"You'll forgive me if I don't find the humor in this situation."

"You should cultivate a sense of humor, it's an important skill to have." Shepard sighed, his ears seemed to be ringing. "Why is it so loud in here?"

Ashley quirked a skeptical eyebrow, "That's the drive core, skipper. It's always this loud on the ship."

"I know," Shepard moaned, "That's the problem. I feel like my head's going to split open. Thank God that the Normandy is the quietest ship in the Fleet."

"After what Shiala did to you, that would not surprise me."

"Well, it had to be done. Speaking of Shiala, what happened with her?"

Ashley shrugged, "Well, to be quite honest, we had a bit of a debate, sir. Wrex and I weren't quite happy with what she did to you, but Garrus began talking about justice. Figured we might leave it up to the colonists, when they wake up."

"I'm surprised you could all agree on that."

Ashley grinned dangerously, "Well, there's no ships left to take off planet, so, she can't escape back to Saren if it was just a ploy. And Garrus had a point, she'd hurt the colonists more than us, it's only right that they get to determine her fate."

"I might talk to them later, she did co-operate with us after all. I think she's on the level. Still, sounds like you and Garrus are getting along."

"As well as we can, sir. He's not bad, just got a stick up his ass - but he's a Turian, it's to be expected."

Shepard sighed mentally and began to push himself out of the medical bed. "Right. Time to get down to business, assemble the squad in the briefing room. Shiala was right about one thing, Ash. I think I'm beginning to understand."

Ashley helped him up, but looked at him oddly. "Understand _what_, sir?"

"_Everything_."

* * *

It was completely bizarre, Shepard realized. He'd always thought that he had a good memory and a sharp mind, and yet the Prothean information that was scratching incessantly at his mind continued to elude him. He continued to try and piece it together - it had seemed so clear when he had woken up! - but he was beginning to become aware that he was rambling.

To his team's credit, they hadn't said a word.

"I can't express it with my..." Shepard trailed off, realizing that Human language wasn't quite able to capture this specific idea. "...my words. And if I can just... complete the circle? If I could... pick up the fragments of glass." He sighed, "It feel like I'm trying to explain... colors to a blind person."

"Great," said Ashley tersely. "Our Commander's babbling nonsense."

"No, no, not nonsense." Shepard couldn't blame her response, but if she could just give him five more minutes... "I can figure this out." He turned to Liara, "I need you to touch my mind. You know the Protheans better than anyone here, you'd be a good... reference point. We could figure this out."

"Commander," Kaidan interrupted before Liara could respond, "Are you sure you're thinking correctly? This is a lot of stress."

"Shiala said it'd take time for the... message in the... bottle?" He shook his head, "Beacon to become clear and comprehensible. We don't have that luxury. We need to know what it is, now."

"With all due respect sir, I think Doctor Chakwas should okay something like this."

"Noted, Kaidan. Worst case scenario, I'm spending more time in sickbay. Liara, do it."

Liara looked over to Kaidan, "I may have to agree with Lieutenant Alenko. In your current state I do not know how the melding will-"

"I'm not in the mood for arguments and I really don't want to invoke Spectre authority. Just do it."

Liara nodded, "Then, relax your mind, Commander. Concentrate on slow, steady breathing. Focus only on my voice. I will be your guide." She placed her cool hands on either side of Shepard's head. "Embrace eternity!"

And then, there was a-

_-war. A war on a scale beyond imagining. The Darkness, the Enemy, the Reapers, dark and terrible and magnificent. Whole worlds fell before them and were destroyed. Whole races were extinguished. They were ravenous on a scale beyond comprehension, they were the end of everything, malevolent creatures that were old when the stars were young, the combined thought of every nightmare experienced by a sentient mind._

It was an explosion of thoughts and images, memories of things that had never actually happened to him, too much for Shepard to comprehend. There was fear, pain, sorrow, a glimpse of organic life's frailties. And... hope? Liara was there, directing him towards the information from the Beacon, preventing him from slipping away.

Could she see how much of him had already slipped away?

_-and then the enemy was gone, but not destroyed. They were not gone, the Reapers, but waiting. They were inevitability itself, they had all of eternity to bide their time. Their plans would not-_

He was floating above the galactic plane now. Something was different. Something was _wrong_.

It was like there was something here with them.

"Liara..." he began, "Something's wrong..."

Fear began to creep up and through his skin like a chemical burn. His brain began to buzz with that familiar sensation.

"Don't fight it, Shepard. Go with the currents."

And yet, he didn't want to go with the currents. He had to fight it, more than anything else, he had to fight it.

"There's... something here, Liara..."

Shepard felt his mind being wrenched back, down towards infinite darkness.

And something waiting in the dark.

Something waiting, to be reborn.

Something that was now, in the vision, aware of him.

It could see him.

It knew his name.

"Liara! We need to go!"

The buzzing was insistent now: _Wake up, Shepard._

"Calm yourself, Commander!" Liara's voice was strong in his mind. "This is just a vision!"

Screaming in the back of his mind: _SHEPARD, WAKE UP._

And then, out of the darkness,_ Sovereign_ loomed before them in all its dark magnificence. The monstrous construct turned to him, reached for him-

Shepard shuddered violently, his body spasming and jerking away from Liara's hand as if he'd been shocked. Eyes wide with fear, Shepard first became aware of his own breathing - harsh and frantic, like he'd been running for his life. He felt cold, and not just from the sweat that coated him and stung his eyes.

"Shepard!" Liara was calling his name.

"What the hell did you do!" snapped Ashley.

"I did not expect that! It was so-"

"I'm here," murmured Shepard. "What did you see?"

"You were correct, Commander," Liara began, "The Protheans were destroyed by a race of machines, the Reapers. The Conduit is definitely connected with the Prothean extinction, although I cannot determine its location, purpose or the exact role it played."

Something wet and sticky touched Shepard's lips. He brought his hand up and it came back red. He was bleeding from the nose.

Shepard wiped at his nose, "What do you mean?"

"The Beacon on Eden Prime must have been damaged or the data corrupted. The information is incomplete. "

"That's incomplete?" snapped Shepard, "It felt complete! It felt like I was going to die! How do we make it complete?"

"We would have to find another Beacon."

Ashley said incredulously, "Providing Saren hasn't destroyed any others he's found, like he tried to do on Eden Prime."

"If a long shot's the only one we've got then it's the one we have to take," Shepard replied. "Kaidan, I want you to monitor the extranet for any more signs of Geth activity. If Saren shows his face then I want to know about it. Shiala said Saren's worried, we have to be getting close. If he slips up, I want to be there."

"Will do, Commander."

"Dismissed."

The crew filed out in an orderly fashion. Tali, however, lingered by the door for a few seconds more and then was gone.

Shepard took a few breaths before going about his next task. He tried to compose himself quickly, washing the blood off his hands and face, he couldn't risk looking and sounding like he did when he reported to the Council. Soon enough, he felt ready enough to send them a message.

The three alien figures blinked into existence in the holographic communications projector. "Greetings, Commander," began the Asari councilor. "We have received reports from patrol vessels in the Attican Beta cluster that the Geth are in full retreat. I assume this means you were successful?"

Shepard nodded, "The Geth invasion of Feros has been repulsed. There was a complication, however, the Geth were not there for the colony. It appears Feros was home to a lifeform called the Thorian, located directly underneath Zhu's Hope. The Thorian had brought the colonists under a form of mental compulsion in order to protect itself from the Geth. I will send a data package containing a full report to the Citadel as soon as possible but, in the end, I was forced to destroy the Thorian in order to protect the colony. The Geth are withdrawing because they have no further objectives on Feros, Councilor. I believe the planet will be secure but I recommend a full inspection of the catacombs to ensure the Thorian has been dealt with."

The Councilors looked to each other, but Shepard couldn't determine whether it was a gesture of shock at the idea of the Thorian... or that Shepard knew about it.

"I see..." The Asari said, "Excellent work, but ExoGeni should have told us about this Thorian. It would have made your job much easier."

The Salarian nodded in earnest, "An interesting specimen. Perhaps you might have been able to capture it for study instead of destroying it."

"Believe me, Councilor, the only reason to study a creature like that is to figure out how to kill it. I skipped that middle step."

"Yes, kill it." The Turian councilor sneered, "That is, after all, how you Humans deal with things you don't understand."

Shepard opened his mouth, but the Asari spoke first. "Tt is good that you managed to save the colony, Commander. We will consider your recommendation as soon as resources become available."

"Of course it was." The Turian Councilor all but rolled his black eyes. "After all, Shepard would certainly go to any lengths to protect a Human colony."

The Turian Councilor had no right to say such things, but Shepard knew that bringing the war onto this battleground would be a loss. This was a politician's arena. "Councilors, intelligence gained in the field suggests that any more information on Saren's operations will only be found at his headquarters. Have there been any attempts to locate it?"

The Asari smiled, "We have Salarian Special Task Groups scouring Citadel Space and the Terminus Systems as we speak, Commander. If we receive any information we will transmit it to you."

"Thank you, Councilors."

"We look forward to your next report, Commander. Citadel out."

Shepard wasn't sure if the headache he now felt had been caused by the vision he had experienced, or from dealing with the Council. He wasn't entirely sure just why he reported to the Council. In a way, they might've preferred it if he didn't report, it'd allow them to maintain that extra bit of deniability and, yet, seeming to evade protocol wouldn't reflect well on the first Human Spectre.

Still, that didn't mean that Shepard had to tell them the whole truth.

He hadn't mentioned the Cipher, or the disturbing vision. The Council didn't believe in the information (Shepard could no longer consider it a mere vision or prophercy) the Beacon had transmitted into his mind. The last thing he needed was more of the Council's skepticism. When it came to stopping Saren, the Council didn't need to know about the Cipher and Shepard wouldn't give them any more ammo to use against him.

What Admiral Kahoku had said, about conspiracies and unknown dangers, had struck a powerful chord with him. Shepard had always cultivated a healthy amount of paranoia, but he wondered if he was falling into a trap. The Council certainly wasn't perfect, but they had given him no reason (except for the words and deeds of one particular councilor) to believe they would ever act against him - at least while they believed he was of sound mind.

No, he couldn't afford to let his misgivings with the Council get the better of him.

He decided to take a walk. All this brooding wouldn't do him any good.

* * *

Shepard walked the command deck, passing Pressly at the navigation console, before deciding to take a quick view from the cockpit. The vastness of space was dominated by the swirling clouds of a bright green nebula, impossibly huge despite the many light years of distance.

In a way, Shepard disliked space travel. There was something about the fact that he couldn't see all approaches which unnerved him - sure, the Normandy had a very advanced sensor suite - but that feeling remained. On the ground, he could always rely on his own eyes. 'Machines break, eyes don't' was the adage that had been drilled into him.

He missed the ground, even though it hadn't been a day since they had left Feros. Starships were not the same. He had grown up with grass and trees and oxygen that wasn't processed and scrubbed through a variety of environmental systems. No matter how hard the Alliance - or the Citadel - attempted to capture the natural state of things, it was always missing some subtle hint of reality. Hell, how long had it been since he had felt rain upon his skin?

And yet he loved the stars. Always had. He thought about the books he had read - the classic science-fiction novels, in particular - and wondered just how often the future had been dreamed of.

It was always an odd sensation to realize that you were living in that future.

After a moment, Shepard realized another fact - that Joker was talking to him.

"Noveria and Feros," Joker whistled, "I don't know which one was worse. Feros, I suppose. I mean, they both have zombies, but Noveria would freeze your balls off. Actually, sir, _do_ corporate zombies eat your brains?"

"You know I'm not the man to ask, Joker."

"Hmm," mused Joker as he stroked his beard, "I'll have to check the literature."

"Sometimes I wonder if you actually do any work."

"Hey, hey, hey, who hauled your asses out of the literal fire and lava on Therum? And got you inserted - undetected, I might add - onto Feros? Yours truly." Joker leaned back in his seat, satisfied with himself. "Oh, Commander, speaking of hot asses... Ashley says she wants to speak to you. Just thought I'd let you know, it'll save me from having to blab it over the PA system."

"Can't imagine you enjoying that."

Joker looked almost hurt. "Commander, perish the thought. I would never do anything to disrespect this uniform and the ideals behind it."

Shepard grinned, "Good. That'll save me having to 'blab' what you just said about Chief Williams' rear over the PA system."

Joker turned as red as Wrex's bone crest. "Well, good. Now that we've come to a gentleman's agreement... then, well, I better get back to it - this ship won't fly itself, y'know."

* * *

The elevator took Shepard down to the cargo hold and engineering deck. Shepard knew that, if Ashley was anywhere, she would be down there.

Ashley had perched herself on a storage crate, and had conscripted another to work as a makeshift table. A few odds and ends had been placed on it, among them a pistol with its innards exposed, but what caught Shepard's eye was the bottle and shot glass in Ashley's hands. She spotted Shepard's approach and waved him over.

"Interested in a drink, sir? It's a special occasion. Well, for me anyway. Armistice Day."

She was toying, gently, with the shot glass.

Armistice Day, the day that marked the end of the First Contact War between Humanity and the Turian species. "No, Chief. I don't drink while I'm on duty. That, and my head's still aching."

Ashley snorted, "You're always on duty. And who knows, it might make you feel better..."

"You said you had something you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes, sir." She looked down towards the bench, "I'd like to apologize for my performance, Commander, in regards to how I operate with this crew and... other things I've said."

"I may have been a bit harsh, Williams, but I've certainly cut you a lot of slack."

"I know, sir. It's just... this isn't easy for me to deal with, not after the First Contact War, after Shanxi."

"Shanxi?" Here it was, the heart of Ashley's issues. "What happened there?"

"Well, it was pretty much the scene for all the fighting in the First Contact War. You know the history, we opened a relay, the Turians took offense to it. The Alliance stopped them at first, but the Turians just kept coming. It got out of control quickly, and soon enough the entire Shanxi defense fleet was gone. It became a guerrilla war, and the Turians were forced to leave their starships in orbit and come down to the ground. And it worked well, because the Turians can't eat the food we can due to their weird proteins, so, their logistics were shot to hell and back."

Ashley looked down at the shot glass, "The thing is, skipper, it worked_ too well._ The Turians, they don't fight like we do. I don't think they have the same concept of civilians as we do. So, they resorted to orbital bombardment, levelling whole city blocks to take out single marine fire teams. Troops started to starve and civilians were dying every day. And, so, Shanxi surrendered. What else could they do? It was that, or get wiped out completely and utterly."

"I'm not sure if I'm understanding the point of this, Ash."

Ashley smirked, without any humor. "Don't tell me you don't know about my family. My COs always find out. It's not in my files or something?"

Inwardly, Shepard cursed at himself. There just hadn't been time since Eden Prime to check out every single detail of Ashley's background. The mission had taken priority. Her parental details had seemed so minor, so minor that Shepard had allowed himself to skim over them.

Shepard just shook his head and Ashley let out a breath. "Well, alright. I'm General Williams' granddaughter, he commanded the Shanxi garrison in the First Contact War. 'The only human to ever surrender to an alien race.'"

"It completely destroyed my grandfather's career, skipper. He never had to face charges, but it destroyed his reputation. He had to become some construction worker out in the colonies. My father never rose above serviceman third class, Commander. And it's why I've never received a posting in the Fleet. It's like a poison, sir, one that's killed any chance of me being an officer."

"And so you blame Garrus?"

Ashley sighed, "Not him specifically. But he is a Turian, and they certainly didn't seem to care about our civilians. If Shanxi had never happened..." She trailed off, shook her head. "We'll never be friends. And, look, skipper, if that's what you want, I don't know if I can be that sort of soldier. I'm just here to put hyper-velocity rounds in the heads of bad guys. I'm not very diplomatic."

"Well, Chief, if you've been poisoned then spit it out and get on with it. I'm not going to let you take the easy way out and throw your life away."

"I'm not-"

"Not what? Suicidal? Because that's what it looks like, Ash. It's not just an act, chief, it's also a frame of mind - 'I'll show them'. Show them what? Fact is, longer you sit here and brood on the past, the worse it'll get. You're not the only one who is bitter about their past. And, ultimately, you only confirm the suspicions of those in the Alliance who are biased against you, that you're unfit for any command opportunity. Crusade for your grandfather all you like, but don't take it out on the people who serve on this vessel."

_Tact, John, tact!_

Shepard sighed, and sat down next to Ashley. "Look, Ash. You want to prove yourself, you want to make yourself the best soldier the Alliance has ever seen. It never works out, it's an ideal that can't be attained. But you want to prove them wrong, the officers who sidelined your family. And yet every time you say something about this, about how all Turians are to blame, then they're proven right and they're given an excuse to keep you as a Gunnery Chief. Getting yourself killed won't prove your worth to the Alliance, and neither will holding a grudge. The war's over."

"Hell of a lecture, skipper."

"Williams-"

"No, I mean it. I just... don't know if I can do that."

"You're going to have to learn how to, Williams. I'm not going to let you take the easy way out. I don't want to have to inform your family, your sisters, that you sacrificed yourself for such a foolish reason. Would you want to hear that from anyone in your family?"

"I... guess not."

"Help me stop Saren, Ash. And do it by demonstrating how you can work with aliens, that you're not beholden to your past. I guarantee that'll send a far more effective message than a perfect operation result or weapons test." He smiled, "And, well, if we can stop Saren and his Geth then a few obstinate officers shouldn't be that much of a problem."

And Ashley laughed. "I'll drink to that."

Shepard, mentally, let out a long breath. He felt uneasy, like he'd dislodged something inside himself. He knew what it was - once, just after he had joined the service, Shepard had had a very similar conversation with Kahoku. Kahoku had revealed to him so many errors and had perhaps - no, definitely - saved his life.

Shepard hoped he could do the same for Ashley Williams.

The elevator doors hissed open and Garrus emerged, carrying his weapons over to the storage racks. Ashley watched him for a few moments.

She said nothing. Garrus locked up his weapons with efficient precision and began to move back towards the elevator.

"Hey, Va-" Ashley caught herself, "Garrus. Do you want a drink? It's Armistice Day."

Garrus turned around, his black eyes watching Ashley dubiously, hesitating for a few seconds. "I can't drink Human alcohol. But," he pulled up a crate and perched on it, "I appreciate the sentiment. Thanks."

So did Shepard. He gently took Ashley's hand in his own, and worked the shot glass out of her fingers. "Pour me one, too."

Perhaps Ashley couldn't change, wouldn't change. Maybe she was only showing Shepard what he wanted to see. Either way, the past continued to hound them, echoing through the present, preventing anyone from being able to forget and move on. Akuze, Mindoir, Shanxi. The Protheans, the Reapers. It was dominating their lives.

How could Shepard fight the past?


	31. Part VI: Splinters, Ch I: Tilt

**Part VI - Splinters**

_"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it."_ - Michel de Montaigne

**Chapter I - Tilt**

Conrad Verner leveled his weapon of choice at Shepard's face.

"Perfect..." he said in a voice which tight-roped the thin line between reverence and obsession.

Shepard felt himself tense up. While Conrad's weapon was nothing but a camera, Shepard felt just as much unease as he would if Conrad had leveled a gun.

Perhaps more.

The camera flashed. Shepard tried not to wince against it.

"The vids are all talking about 'Commander Shepard, fighting for all of us back home'..." Conrad said, "Oh, man, I can't believe I got your picture!"

Shepard went to move away. "Think nothing of it, Conrad."

Conrad followed him closely, "I'm going to hang these in my living room! My wife will love it!" Conrad continued eagerly, "So, what is the first Human Spectre doing on the Citadel?"

"I'm here on..." Shepard considered, "...very important business."

It wasn't completely true. The _Normandy_ had returned to the Citadel, ostensibly for resupply. The fighting on Feros had established one thought in Shepard's mind - they needed heavier firepower if they were going to stop Saren.

The Council would not handle it, however. They had said they didn't want to get involved, that it was Shepard's responsibility to acquire his own ordinance. As such, Shepard's squad had spread throughout the Citadel, acquiring weapons, medical supplies, ship components. Unofficially, however, Shepard had other motives for returning to the Citadel. This little milk run would give him some space to maneuver.

Currently, however, he was just killing time.

"Sounds like dangerous saving the galaxy stuff," Conrad nodded, "Hey, Commander, do you think there's a chance I could get a picture of your ship?"

"I don't know," Shepard replied, "You might have to ask Lieutenant Alenko. He's handling some business at C-Sec Headquarters. He could show you up to the docking bay."

Conrad's eyes went wide, "Oh, man! That'd be amazing!"

Shepard smiled, "Just tell them I sent you. I need to keep moving, duty calls, Conrad."

"Oh, yeah, sure." Conrad snapped what he probably thought was a smart salute, "I'll see you around, Commander!"

And then he was off, bounding down the Wards, like a puppy on a mission to brighten the day of some unfortunate soul.

"He's a strange one, isn't he?" remarked Tali, "And I don't think Lieutenant Alenko will thank you for this."

Shepard smiled broadly. "Well, it's good to be the Commander. Besides, who else could I refer him to? Ash?"

"Point taken."

The two of them kept moving.

Shepard asked, "You've never been to the Citadel before, have you?"

"Apart from the time we met? No. And that wasn't exactly a sightseeing tour."

"Exactly. I've never had a good look through the Wards either. Come on, it'll be fun."

"Providing we don't get shot at again, like last time. Of course, knowing you, we'll find some way to endanger our lives."

"Are you saying I attract danger?" Shepard remarked incredulously.

"Commander, I wouldn't dream of besmirching the reputation of my commanding officer!" Tali replied, "I am just aware that I seem to find myself fighting for my life on a more than usual basis." She shook her head, "In the Flotilla I would be_ airlocked_ for saying such things."

"Tali, are you serious?"

She nodded gravely, and then laughed - a pleasant, musical trill. A type of laughter that Shepard hadn't heard in some time. "I'm joking, Commander."

They pushed through bustling crowds of humans and aliens, looked through vendors of wares from a hundred worlds. Shepard was quite sure he could find anything he wanted here. Whether any of it could assist the mission, however...

"This reminds me of home," Tali said as they browsed a few small kiosks.

"The Fleet is this claustrophobic?"

"Perhaps more so. The Normandy has more space than I've ever seen on a Quarian ship!"

Shepard had never really had a home - Mindoir had ceased being a real home in his mind many years ago. He enjoyed hearing about Tali's.

"I'd go mad," he said, "I had a lot of space growing up."

"Well, we have the liveships, massive agricultural and botanical vessels, which we can volunteer on... but it's not the same as being planetside."

"You don't keep animals on those ships, do you?"

"No," replied Tali, "Just crops. We tend to them during our volunteering. It's enjoyable, a nice break to working on drive cores and oxygen processors." Tali cocked her head quizzically, "Commander, have you been studying the Migrant Fleet?"

Shepard smiled, "Yes, I have actually. And you're missing one of the best aspects of farming."

"Maybe, but animals are just too much of a risk, they could carry bacteria which could pose an unacceptable risk to our food supplies. Maybe when we find a world of our own..."

Shepard nodded, "I'm sorry for your loss. It's a terrible tragedy. My readings included your history, although the Alliance files aren't clear on certain details-"

"The Geth started it," Tali snapped rather vehemently, "They hid their intelligence, their true capabilities. I've said how Geth gain enhanced processing power when in proximity to each other, well, on Rannoch they reached a critical mass and became actual artificial intelligences. We _had_ to deactivate them, they would be too unpredictable otherwise." Tali's voice became dark, "Turns out we were correct, they cost us our homeworld."

"Aren't artificial intelligences banned by Citadel law?"

"Yes, exactly, which is why we tried to deactivate them."

Shepard had a thought then. One he felt he should stray away from, but didn't. "I may not be an expert on synthetic life but isn't that the same as trying to kill them?"

"No," replied Tali, hotly. "Life and death are organic concepts -_ our_ concepts - they can't be applied to a machine. The Geth don't_ think_, they don't_ feel_. They don't have the same wants, drives or needs as we do. They have no use for our races, Shepard. You've seen them, you've _fought_ them, they don't display mercy, they don't attempt negotiation, they just kill."

"I know," Shepard said, "I'm sorry for bringing this up."

Tali sighed behind her helmet, "Don't be. You have your demons, I have mine." As if to change the subject, she scrutinized a large, holographic shop sign. "How about this one? It looks interesting."

The sign read: _Morlan's Famous Shop. Many Good Supplies, Yes?_

Shepard was dubious that the shop was as famous as it professed to being. It seemed to be a collection of various oddities, enigmas and trinkets. The Salarian behind the counter was frantic, speaking at what seemed a thousand words a minute, making exorbitant promises and guarantees. Shepard would never have checked out a shop like that of his own volition, but Tali...

"Well," Shepard said and checked the time. He was waiting on a call. "We've got some time. Want to take a look?"

Tali nodded and, with some discomfort on Shepard's part, took him by the hand.

The texture of her environmental suit felt odd in his hand, and her three fingers felt stranger still. He found himself oddly surprised by just how tightly he wanted to hold her, at the power of the ancient instinct he had never truly considered. It would be a completely reflexive action, one he couldn't control, one he actually had to fight against... but how would Tali react?

Of course, he could easily check her personal files - it was well within his capabilities and rights as a Spectre, and he knew that Tali was keeping detailed logs. But it seemed wrong, somehow, like a violation.

_No. That's not it. You're just afraid of what you might find. That she likes you, that she respects you as her Commander, but has no interest in you as a man._

All it was, after all, was simple physiology and psychology. He wasn't really attracted to her, and she certainly wouldn't be attracted to him - they were from completely different species!_  
_

Shepard frowned and banished those thoughts from his mind. He was getting distracted from the mission. Hell, this whole little excursion was a distraction - but he had to kill time. He browsed Morlan's stalls until a certain item caused him to be struck by a sudden sense of familiarity. It was a stuffed teddy bear, yellow-furred with a red bow.

Tali looked back at him. "Is something wrong, Shepard?"

"No," he replied quietly "It's just... I had a bear like that one, just like that one, on Mindoir. I think my dad gave it to me. I know I had it for my whole life until..."

Tali examined it closely, "I don't think my father would ever have approved of something like this."

"I must sound like an idiot but, when something's been a part of your life for so long, it's hard to let go."

Tali looked up at him, "You could always buy it."

Shepard almost-laughed, "And where would I keep it? I don't exactly have much space."

"Please, Commander, you're acting as if you've lived on the Flotilla."

"It doesn't have much place on a military vessel," he protested.

"Lieutenant Alenko, Chief Williams and Lieutenant Moreau all have personal keepsakes. Especially Lieutenant Moreau."

Shepard scowled. He wasn't going to be able to win this battle.

"Fine, if you want to be difficult... You can buy me the bear, on one condition."

"What would that be?"

"That you let me buy something for you."

He couldn't read her face behind her mask, but her voice said it all. "Commander, you can't-"

"I _can_. That's the condition. I insist."

Tali looked as if she was going to protest further, and then she took a credit chit from her belt. "Alright. If that's how you want to play it."

Tali bought the bear and passed it to Shepard. Even though few people seemed to be paying attention to Shepard, he still felt oddly self-conscious. Tali browsed the store, working through everything at a brisk pace. She spent much of the time examining various omni-tools and technical equipment. She wanted to fool him into thinking she was only interested in what was cheap and practical.

But when she stopped and paused at an item of fabric, Shepard knew she had found something.

It looked similar to the usual Quarian veils, Shepard surmised, yet it was something far more exquisite and intricate than the practical light violet veil Tali was currently wearing. Tali held it in her hands, held it up to the light, the deep purple fabric glistening something-like silk, revealing intricate patterns and designs. He could tell - even through the mask - just how much Tali wanted it.

And it was expensive.

In the end, he bought her a software upgrade for her omni-tool.

"Not quite a pilgrimage gift," he said as they began to wander again, "But I'm sure we'll find something for that soon enough."

Shepard's comlink beeped. He quickly ran through the message, it was one he had been waiting on. And yet, he sighed.

"Tali, I'll have to cut this short. I've got business to attend to."

"Anything important?"

"Important enough to drag me to the Presidium. I need to meet with some Alliance officials. Take the bear for me, will you?"

"Sure. Then I'll see you on the _Normandy_?"

"Definitely."

Physiology and psychology. It was good to feel needed or wanted, even when you didn't want to be.

* * *

Shepard stepped out of the elevator onto the Presidium.

It galled and frustrated him that he couldn't be entirely honest with his crew, especially Ashley and Kaidan. He was sure they were as loyal to the Alliance as he was and yet he couldn't afford to take the chance that they weren't.

He found the official at the pre-determined location they had decided upon. Admiral Kahoku was looking out over one of the Presidium lakes.

"Ah, there you are, Commander. I heard the reports from Feros."

"We were too late, unfortunately. Saren got what he was there for."

"But you saved a lot of lives. That's perhaps more important than what... certain people may try to tell you, in the future."

Shepard frowned. Something was up. "Sir?"

Kahoku stroked his salt and pepper beard, "Mind taking a walk, Commander?"

"Right now, sir?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"Not at all, sir."

* * *

They strolled through the idyllic parklands of the Presidium, past the Krogan and Relay monuments, and away from the Embassies and ambassadorial sectors.

"You know why I've called you here," Kahoku stated, breaking a somewhat uneasy silence.

"Yes, sir. I've been awaiting more information, in fact."

"And you? Have you uncovered anything?"

"No," Shepard admitted, "And I'm relatively hamstrung until I can bring my crew into the fold."

"Your mind says that. Your heart?"

"I believe my crew is as loyal to Earth as we are, and the others will follow me. I don't like spying on them, Admiral."

"Neither do I." Kahoku noted Shepard's shocked expression, "Yes, I took the liberty of going through your files - I hope you can forgive me. I do not mean to disparage you or your crew but the situation is becoming increasingly... fluid, and events are moving at a rapid pace. They threaten to spiral out of control."

This uncertain speech was not like the Admiral at all.

"The name of our foe - the illusive man within the Alliance - is Cerberus, John. I do not know what they want, but I know they have an interest in you."

Shepard thought back to Conrad, and wondered now whether his motivations were as pure as they seemed. "It seems most people do, these days."

"This interest is one of an enemy, John. This illusive man has a personal interest in many figures within the Alliance military - in you, in me, and in those we associate with. Cerberus has spent years putting its people in positions of power, especially amongst the Alliance brass. Others just get reassigned, or..." Kahoku shook his head, "It goes far beyond anything we could have expected."

"Sir, but you're still here."

Kahoku nodded and seemed almost sad, "Indeed."

Shepard tried not to frown at every person, be they human or alien, who wandered past them. "Sir, may I ask, why didn't we meet aboard the _Normandy_?"

"Like I said, while I do not wish disparage your crew, Commander, I cannot be sure of their loyalty. Cerberus' reach extends further than I can completely account for, but it does not extend to two areas - alien governments and the Shadow Broker. The Presidium is probably one of the safest places for us to talk," Kahoku frowned and Shepard felt a strange twinge of dread, "But I cannot be sure of how long it will last. If we take too long, we will be missed. We should get down to business."

Shepard nodded as Kahoku pulled an small disc from his jacket.

"Your first task is to head to the co-ordinates on this OSD. I've arranged for you to meet with an agent who is sympathetic to our cause. From there, this mission will be able to proceed into its next phase."

Shepard took the OSD into his hand and slipped into into a pocket, "Understood."

"Which brings me to the second task, and this is one that you must follow - no matter how difficult it may seem."

Shepard didn't understand what Kahoku was saying. This was so unlike him. He should've known that Shepard would obey him unquestioningly, not just because he was an Admiral, but because he was a friend.

"If you ask me to do it, sir, I will."

"Good. Because I am asking, John. Until your mission is complete I do not want to hear from you. I don't want any extranet messages. I don't want you to call me. I do not want you to return to the Citadel. Please, respect my wishes in this."

"I don't understand, sir."

"I don't expect you to. I have deliberately not given you all the information so you cannot predict the consequences. I just want you to know that, whatever happens, I am - and always have been - proud of you. You have learned so much, and you'll be a perfect student if you obey me now."

Shepard felt a hollow open within his chest, and felt it crystallize over with cold dread.

Shepard wanted to say that he was only a soldier, only a Spectre, because Kahoku had taught him how to be one. He was only strong in both mind and body because the Admiral had made him so. Kahoku had given him purpose. He wanted to say that he was more than prepared to defend against this new threat, just like he was prepared to defend against Saren. In a way, Shepard owed his life to this man. How was he unable to find words?

Kahoku extended his hand. Shepard fought down the urge to salute and took his friend's hand in his own.

As he did so, Kahoku took Shepard's other hand and pressed something small, cool and hard into Shepard's palm. "There will come a day, Commander, I'm certain of it, where you will be able to wear these. And, at that time, I would be proud to see them on your uniform."

And then Kahoku abruptly pulled away, leaving Shepard's hand closed around the whatever-it-was that he placed there.

"You'd best get started, John. You have a long road ahead of you." The Admiral, for a brief moment, looked as if he was going to say something, but then he just shook his head. "Good evening, Commander Shepard."

It was only when Kahoku was well and truly gone from the Presidium did Shepard open his fist and look down to see what had been placed there - the silver and gold insignia of a Systems Alliance Admiral.

* * *

Later, as Shepard made his way back to the_ Normandy,_ he fought to control his breathing and heart rate.

Something felt terribly wrong. It had been bothering him since the night at Flux, but now it felt like something tangible. Admiral Kahoku was in danger, of that Shepard had no doubt, and it was a danger that would be passed by association. And it was a danger that was close by.

But why? Kahoku was the Alliance. In Shepard's mind, he represented everything good about it. What would be gained by targeting him?

He flipped the disc between his fingers, it probably held the answers to Shepard's questions - all except one, at least.

Kahoku was in danger, how could he - as an Alliance soldier, as a Spectre, as a friend - do nothing?

He could stay, of course, he could watch Kahoku covertly. Shepard estimated that there were very few things in the galaxy that could get past his squad.

But Kahoku wouldn't have warned him away if he didn't believe that there was a real, palpable danger. If the Alliance was compromised then they wouldn't need to resort to direct violence to get at Shepard.

Kahoku had asked him to perform a mission. Shepard would not disobey that order.

He had to follow what was on the disc. Kahoku would be okay. Cerberus would never move against an Alliance admiral - especially one so respected.

And yet that thought didn't do much to dispel the dread he felt.

By the time Shepard was standing on the command deck, his heart rate had not slowed. He looked down at the OSD and made up his mind.

"Joker, I'm forwarding you a set of co-ordinates. Undock us from the Citadel and set course immediately, best possible speed."


	32. Part VI: Splinters, Ch: II: Spiral

**Chapter II - Spiral  
**

Two days later, Shepard was staring at an obituary.

He couldn't believe it, could hardly imagine it. It seemed so surreal. He couldn't picture him slumped down on a desk, a neat bullet hole in his brain.

It just didn't fit. Admiral Kahoku had always hated suicides.

Rumors were already circulating through Alliance circles, Shepard had already heard some of them even though he had barely left his quarters since he heard the news.

They said - whispered - that Kahoku had done it as they watched. That he was given a choice and he preferred to take his own life, rather than be charged with treason and disgraced.

They differed on the cause of death. Self-inflicted gunshot wound, lethal injection, hanging, 'natural causes'.

Others believed it was nothing more than a freak random occurrence. A bizarre decision, but not completely hard to believe. After all, Kahoku has been behaving oddly.

Shepard knew it had to be the former. Cerberus had gotten to Kahoku, and the Alliance had failed to protect him.

He wondered if he would live through this - much like he had at Akuze and Mindoir. He wondered if it was possible for a human heart to suddenly split in half, or to be vomited out of his chest, to have his life just suddenly end.

_I need you, _Shepard found himself thinking. _I can't do this alone if it means taking on the Alliance. Why couldn't you tell me everything? Why did you have to go and betray me by_ dying?

The display didn't answer, of course. And Shepard knew that Kahoku would never have obliged a question of that sort with one, regardless.

Shepard's mind was a whirlwind. _Where did they get you? Your stories, your philosophies, your jokes, your music, your lessons? What did they do to stop Cerberus?_

The anger came easily. All he could picture was Kahoku's slumped form, a hole in his head, his beard still neatly trimmed.

But there was one thing Cerberus had probably not anticipated, Shepard knew. They hadn't gotten to the Admiral before he had been able to pass the torch to Shepard.

It didn't comfort Shepard, however. It didn't reassure him. It was nothing more than a Pyrrhic victory, and it certainly didn't absolve him of his failure.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you - even if you didn't want me to._

And yet the pain continued.

Tali had once told him that Geth couldn't feel pain. They would re-evaluate their combat efficiency, their physical integrity, but that was not pain. A machine couldn't feel pain. Machines were creatures of purpose.

Rage. That was all Shepard felt. A white-hot surge that felt like it suddenly erupted in his chest and set his scalp on fire, stinging his eyes with the heat of it, bringing with it a clarity of purpose. The people who had done this had to be brought to justice. They were Humans and that only seemed to madden Shepard further. Geth were one thing, Saren was one thing, but the fact that this Cerberus - these people - had done this just defied Shepard's sense of order. So, he would stop Cerberus, completely and utterly. And if it required a machine to do so then a machine Shepard would become.

Shepard re-assessed his physical integrity. He was unharmed.

Shepard re-assessed his combat efficiency. He had an objective, and he would complete it.

Kahoku had, with his death, provided the perfect starting point.

Shepard walked to his basin, splashed water over his face, anything to wash the tears from his eyes.

Then, he set his jaw. It was time to get to work.

* * *

"Sensors report no contacts, sir."

"Then keep scanning," Shepard replied testily, "There's got to be something out here."

"Yes, sir," Joker sighed, "Initiating sensor sweep, count whatever. Mind letting me understand just what we're looking for?"

Shepard frowned, "You don't need to understand, Joker, just obey."

"Aye, aye, sir. I suppose you are a Spectre and all."

Shepard turned his eyes away from Joker and to the void outside.

The stars were certainly beautiful, yes, as was the gas giant that hung in the distance, but Shepard's eyes were focusing on something else - anything else. Beauty was a distraction and Shepard let his mind pull away the magnificence of the scene outside, letting his analytical mind process the information it was seeing.

This was the location Kahoku had given him, his parting gift. There had to be something here, but four sensor sweeps had revealed nothing out of the ordinary; a few anomalous signals of long-dead ships that had been caught by the gravity well of the gas giant, but there was certainly no sign of Kahoku's associate.

Maybe Shepard had thought wrong. Maybe Cerberus had known, had gotten here before Shepard did, but that didn't seem believable to Shepard's mind - nor would he let himself believe that was the case. He knew that, if he was to let go of his fervent objective here, he would collapse and implode completely.

Joker looked up from his instruments, "Got something! Picking up a distress beacon, sir, hidden in the shadow of that gas giant."

"A distress beacon... from what? Identify!" Shepard snapped, "How sure are you that it's not one of those hulks?"

"Identifying now. Configuration indicates an Alliance shuttle. Registration..." Joker paused, and turned to look up at Shepard. "Sir, registry indicates it belongs to your... friend, Admiral Kahoku. We've got an incoming transmission, for your ears only. I'll put it through to the communications room."

Shepard was already turning away from the cockpit and practically bounding down past Pressly, who was busy calculating navigational vectors. "Keep us on station, Joker," he called behind himself, "And continue monitoring the area!"

Shepard tried not to give too much weight to what he was feeling, if only to avoid odd remarks and glances from his crew. Although every part of his conscious mind knew to warn himself against certain disappointment, there was something inside him now, an odd feeling that was so unusual and alien - hope. Hope would always defeat pessimism and cynicism, and that was why, in this moment, Shepard hated it as he continued to hold onto it. It had all been a ploy, surely. A ploy intended to distract Cerberus and lull them into a false sense of security. A ploy so powerful and of such vital importance that it required Shepard to be kept unawares. That had to be it.

As Shepard went to communication room, he continued thinking that had to be it.

* * *

Kahoku was there in form, perhaps even in spirit, but it wasn't him. Even though hologram flickered spasmodically from some sort of interference, Shepard could easily see that the Admiral looked just as haggard, just as stressed, just as worn as he had looked on the Presidium.

It wasn't how Shepard wanted to remember him.

"Commander Shepard," the wraith of Kahoku began, "if you are seeing this then it means I am dead. I have left copies of this message with other members of our cause, under strict instruction to only disseminate them in the event of my death, but...

"They've already got them, John, my contacts. They have all met with accidents or killed themselves. I lured you and your ship to this distress beacon to protect you. The Citadel is no longer safe. If you had ever returned you would never have left - except as a traitor and a corpse. I hope that, one day, you will forgive me for my subterfuge.

"Cerberus must be stopped, John. They threaten everything the Alliance has worked for, everything the Alliance _is_. I have been putting this effort together for a long time now. Encrypted within this message is all the information on Cerberus that I have managed to uncover, buy and, yes, steal. It was almost impossible to find, and harder to verify."

The image of Kahoku flickered as the Admiral broke off, frowned. "Listen, John, Humanity's place in the galaxy is nothing like it was even only twenty six years ago. Before then aliens were little more than fantasy. Now we live alongside them in almost all aspects of our lives. There's a lot of questions now, of just what Humanity should do on the galactic stage, what our place should be and what we should do to obtain it.

"Cerberus may believe they have found an answer, but it's the wrong answer. _Incredibly_ wrong. We may only be in the beginning stages of being a galactic civilization but things have a tendency to get set in their ways if not quashed quickly. We need to prevent them from continuing their plans, or many more people - both Human and alien - will suffer, and the Alliance will suffer with them.

"Therefore, my final order for you, Commander, is this: I want you to use this information to destroy Cerberus. Find their bases, and eliminate them. Remove any possible threat they could pose to the Alliance or anyone else.

"I know you'll do me proud, John, go get them."

* * *

The next day, Shepard called a briefing. His squad and Joker sat within the communications room. Filled with a sudden sense of odd paranoia, Shepard had kept the impromptu briefing as small as possible. The people here were the only ones that Shepard had estimated he had to inform of the task ahead of them. Chakwas, Pressly, Adams, they would all follow orders, and it was perhaps best that they weren't privy to Shepard's plans. Even if they agreed, they'd try to dissuade him from his present mission. They'd fail, of course, but Shepard wouldn't, couldn't, risk instability.

"Weeks ago," Shepard began when they were all finally seated and expectant, "Admiral Kahoku informed me of a terrible cancer at the heart of the Systems Alliance. Apart from myself, everyone else privy to this information has been murdered."

"Murdered, by who?"

"A group called Cerberus. Due to recent events, I have decided that you are all to be made aware of this information. Lieutenant Alenko, Chief Williams, if you wish to leave the room before you hear anything further - anything you may need to report me for - you are free to do so. Nothing will be filed or go on record. However, if you stay, then none of it must leave this room."

Neither of them budged. Kaidan spoke first, "If it's that dire, sir, then I'd like to hear it."

"Me too, skipper. If they killed an Alliance Admiral then we'll make them pay."

And so, Shepard told them.

He had spent the past day analyzing Kahoku's data package until he felt that he understood his enemy. He told them about the beginning - that Cerberus was the brainchild of an individual or individuals following the First Contact War, but also that Cerberus didn't really exist until an Alliance black operations unit went rogue. It had been nothing more than a rumor until recently. He told them that while the initial goal of Cerberus was ostensibly to protect Earth against unknown threats, it had transformed into something _else_, something that threatened galactic stability. He told them about the present - that Cerberus was obsessed with that goal and ensuring a place for mankind in the stars, regardless of the damage they caused. He argued that they had killed an Alliance Admiral and covered it up. He argued that that they had done the same to squads of Alliance marines on several worlds, all because they believed it was a required step in order to protect Humanity.

It was just a machine, an unthinking and uncaring machine concerned only with the protection of Humanity, completely blind to the problems it was causing until they came into direct conflict with its goals.

And, finally, Shepard told them that they were going to stop them. For the moment, that was their future.

"But what about Saren and the Reapers?" Liara asked as the squad tried to mentally digest what he had just told them.

"The Council has no new information on Saren's location," Shepard half-lied. Shepard did not know this was so, but, as the Council had not contacted him since their last conversation, Shepard was sure he could assume that. "So, we are free to follow any leads and engage whatever threats become apparent. Cerberus threatens both the Alliance and the Citadel, I can't just sit idly by. We're still doing a lot of good."

His squad still seemed to stare at him, he quickly added: "If any new intelligence on Saren is delivered to me then that will take priority, I promise."

He wasn't sure if he had lied, again.

With no further questions or comments, Shepard addressed Joker.

"Lieutenant Moreau, I want you to set an immediate course for the Yangtze star system, Voyager cluster. The second planet, Binthu, is our target, however, I want you to keep the Normandy in the shadow of Patajiri, the fifth planet. Data suggests that they will both be on the same side of the sun by the time we arrive and relatively close together. I haven't been able to locate any sign of orbital defenses in Kahoku's data packet but this will cut any chance they have of seeing us before we hit them down to almost zero."

"Understood, sir."

"To the rest of you, I have forwarded all relevant data on the mission. You have until we arrive at Patajiri to familiarize yourselves with it. Dismissed."

But there was one more thing, Shepard knew. Something he had to tell the the Alliance men and women in the room. He spoke just before they reached the door.

"There's one final matter... Cerberus predates the Alliance. They may have even had their hands in forming the initial Alliance parliament. They may still have influence there."

Kaidan was halfway to the door, he frowned. "But, sir, that means... if we're really going to follow this to the end..."

"Yes," replied Shepard coolly, "It means we may be going down a very dark path. And I hope to God it doesn't lead where I think it leads. We have a job to do, people, let's get to it."


	33. Part VI: Splinters, Ch III: Meltdown

**Chapter III - Meltdown**

The _Normandy_ hung silently in the shadow of Patajiri for an almost-excruciatingly long twenty-four hours, probing the surface of Binthu with low-level scanners, before Shepard felt ready to proceed.

"Preliminary scans corroborate Admiral Kahoku's intelligence, there's definitely someone here." Shepard said in the mission briefing, "Binthu has an atmosphere of carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide and chlorine. So, we'll be in full breathing gear and sealed hardsuits. Gravity is under one standard gee. The world is unpleasant with nothing of interest."

"In other words," said Garrus, "the perfect location for a secret base."

"Exactly," Shepard replied, bringing up a map display. "There's four facilities on the planet, confirmed by data from the _Normandy_. The primary objective is the central one, here." Shepard indicated a cluster of networked structures, "And the specific objective of this mission is data retrieval. The base must have a mainframe of central data or, better yet, connection to a wider network. We need that data."

"I can handle that, Commander," Tali chirped.

"What about opposition, sir?" asked Kaidan.

"Unknown. Data indicates that Cerberus personnel are well-trained and well-equipped but there's no indication of their numbers, so we'll take a full weapons load. Either way, in this atmosphere, we don't want a stand up fight. We get in, we get the data and we get out of there."

Ashley looked down at the map, her face twisting into a frown. She indicated three identical seeming facilities located at equal distances from the central base.

"It's going to be hard, skipper," she commented, "If those outposts can get off a signal then the primary facility will purge the data and evacuate. They could even just decide to blow the base before we get there."

"Exactly, so we'll need to do this quietly. We will be split into three teams and each team will be allocated a breaching explosive. The _Normandy_, at full stealth, will drop a team at each of these coordinates."

Three green icons blinked to life on the map display. Ashley frowned at them.

"That's one hell of a hike to the targets, skipper."

"Yes, but we can't risk the _Normandy_ being detected visually. It's the only way it can be detected when it's running silent. We will proceed on foot. Luckily, Cerberus doesn't seem to dispatch any patrols - the bunkers are all we have to worry about. When the charges are in place the _Normandy_ will start providing electronic warfare support to disrupt the Cerberus communications network. However, even with that advantage, you may only have a few seconds to detonate your charge and dispatch any and all combatants in the bunker. You have to make them count."

"Seems awfully risky, Commander," replied Kaidan, "If even one of our teams gets caught or is delayed it'll derail the entire operation."

"I know," said Shepard, "But it can't fail. I won't let it."

* * *

On his stomach, in the dense atmosphere of a poison world's night, Shepard pulled himself inexorably along the ground, towards his target. Even on his elbows and knees, centimeter by centimeter, he knew he was making good time.

Every few minutes he would pause, the systems in his armor warning him of the outpost's sophisticated scanner array. When that happened he would freeze and silently indicate to his two companions - Wrex and Liara - to freeze as well. Then, once Shepard was satisfied that the sweep had passed, they would resume moving.

Garrus and Ashley were leading their own teams, Shepard knew, although they were invisible to him. Any radio communications would alert Cerberus and then the whole mission would be in vain. Shepard could only assume that they would rendezvous as planned. If they didn't then Shepard would have to abort, they had to hit the three outposts at the exact same time.

The whole mission had to proceed at an exacting schedule. Nothing could be left to chance. Shepard wouldn't let it.

Then, he was under a dozen meters from the closest reinforced wall of the bunker. He noted the large, multi-barreled weapon on the roof - easily capable of punching through even the Mako's armor plating, Shepard surmised - and wondered if it would open up once the soldiers inside were sure of a kill shot.

It didn't. Shepard took a deep breath and gave the signal for Wrex to move.

Wrex, despite his size, could move silently and swiftly if it was required of him. In his hands he held a large device, affixing it silently to the outside wall of the bunker.

"Charge in place," rumbled Wrex.

Shepard's order was instantaneous, "Blow it."

The explosion was loud, almost deafening due to the close proximity, seeming almost surreal in the low gravity.

Inside, through the breach, Shepard could see Cerberus personnel in black and white uniforms scrabbling for breathing masks.

He shot three of them before they could react, charging into the bunker. The fourth, he took the man's breathing mask from his face, let him suffocate in the toxic atmosphere.

Shepard just stared and watch the man die.

He felt... nothing.

And in that moment, Shepard wasn't sure what he had expected to feel.

He raised a hand to his communications link, "This is Shepard to breaching teams, report."

"Garrus here, we're in. No resistance."

"This is Williams, we're inside their perimeter. No casualties."

"Continue moving," Shepard ordered, "Rendezvous outside the command and control center. Expect fierce resistance. Take no prisoners."

Kaidan's voice crackled over the link, "Sir, that order violates-"

"Objection noted, Alenko. You have your orders." Shepard cut the link.

In a usual mission, prisoners could be immensely valuable, as bargaining chips or sources of intelligence. But Shepard knew that he did not wish to bargain with Cerberus and any information they would give to him would also be present on their servers.

He readied his weapons, checked their conditions and heat sinks for the dozenth time, finding them satisfactory. He'd kill them. He'd kill every member of Cerberus on this planet if he had to. He was, after all, a soldier. He'd killed before and he knew that he would kill again. What were a few more deaths?

* * *

Cerberus organized a defense almost as soon as Shepard's squad began their three-pronged advance. They didn't move on the bunkers, however, where the heavy weapons and defenses could be used against them. As Shepard and his team made their way towards the main base, through a network of twisting sealed tunnels, they came under fire.

The Cerberus soldiers wore black and white heavy combat hardsuits, their helmets dominated by a gold Y-shaped visor. They moved in orderly teams and fought with deadly precision. Three of them were laying down a rain of suppressive fire with rapid-firing assault rifles, a continuous spray which was taking the heat management of their weapons into account. Shepard knew that, while they were keeping him suppressed, he had seen a pair of them split off and try to flank his unit.

Shepard could easily believe that they had black ops training but he was N7 and a Spectre - the best of the best. And Cerberus would pay the price for what they had done to him.

"Liara, biotic suppression! Wrex, focus on the three keeping our heads down!" Shepard ordered as he caught a glimpse of the Cerberus pair that had swung out to flank them. He trained his assault rifle on one and squeezed the trigger.

Suddenly, the clear roof of the tunnel above their heads shattered. There was a loud crack and one enemy stumbled to the left, their legs jerking on random impulse, before crumpling in a heap against the wall. Garrus was out there and his aim was as true as ever.

The other called out, "Sniper!" Just as Garrus fired again, ending the alert with a bullet.

Shepard and Wrex took the opportunity to move. A biotic wave from Liara knocked the Cerberus forces back as the heavily-armored pair closed with their three opponents with long, powerful strides.

Wrex tackled his with full force, Shepard heard something snap and caught a brief glimpse of Wrex slamming the armored figure into the ground, head first. Then, Shepard was upon his own enemy and he swung his assault rifle high, like a club. It connected with the soldier's helmet, cracking the golden visor and twisting the soldier's neck. A hardsuit fist came at Shepard but Shepard had already pulled his pistol and emptied half a dozen shots into the man's abdomen at point-blank range, inside the effective range of the combat suit's kinetic barriers.

The third man struck Shepard in the head. Without a helmet, the strike would probably have been fatal, with it it was just disorientating. Shepard fought down the vertigo and turned, snapping off a few shots - but he was only greeted by the blue corona of a kinetic barrier.

He was just about to grapple the Cerberus soldier when Wrex blasted the third figure in the back with his shotgun.

"This is Alpha team," Shepard called over the communications link, not even pausing to catch his breath. "We're inside. Status?"

Ashley's voice crackled back, "Ran into a group packing a heavy missile launcher, sir, but our advance has not slowed. ETA five minutes!"

"All enemies neutralized along our path," That was Garrus, "Providing covering fire to Williams' unit."

Three more Cerberus soldiers came racing out of a side corridor, laying down a fusillade of firepower. Shepard leapt back from the shots that impacted his weakened kinetic barriers. One of the soldiers had evidently misplaced his helmet, wearing only a breather mask. It was a fatal mistake, Shepard's next pistol shot blasted the man's teeth down into his neck.

Wrex just bellowed and opened up with his rifle, a nonstop storm of bullets. The other two crumpled in a bloody ruin.

Gunfire sounded from further down the hall.

"Think it's them or us?" Wrex asked, training his weapon towards the noise.

Shepard drew a mental map. "Us," he said and was vindicated by the arrival of Ashley, Kaidan, Garrus and Tali. None of them looked injured.

"Situation, sir?" asked Ashley.

Shepard nodded, "I think we've bled them. Let's keep up our momentum. Williams, you and I will take point."

Another breaching charge and the inner facilities had been thrown wide open.

Almost unbelievably, the rest of the base seemed abandoned. The inner rooms seemed to be a mixture of laboratories and specimen chambers - although Shepard couldn't determine what for. A lot of it had evidently been destroyed, whole rooms were set aflame, pumped full of acids or rendered otherwise impassable. Shepard felt a pang of anger - what sort of information had they hidden from him with those acts? What had they been doing here? He hastened his steps in response.

In his mind, Shepard had pictured the Cerberus base as something akin to a hive. He had expected a much longer firefight. The base didn't seem to be manned by more than approximately four dozen people, based on Shepard's estimate. He had envisioned hundreds of people, a vast network of soldiers and agents, something completely unlike this base - one that hadn't seemed to even truly acknowledge the possibility of attack.

As Shepard passed the next doorway, he felt a trio of heavy shots hammer into his back. At the third there was an explosion of pain and the force of the shot penetrating his kinetic barriers and armor plate stumbled him.

But he did not fall.

Shepard turned, snarling, and let his pistol talk for him.

It barked twice. The Cerberus soldier's helmet visor shattered in a spray of blood and metallic shards and the man dropped.

Only then did Shepard gasp, placing his hand to his side. His gauntlet met slick resistance. The bullet had penetrated his armor, perhaps not that deeply - but it hurt like hell.

He'd make Cerberus pay for that as well.

"Medic!" he barked. Kaidan rushed over, ever obedient. "Medigel, now!"

Kaidan pulled a canister from a hardpoint on his hard suit. "Sir, are you sure about this?"

"Pump it full of medigel. Now, Kaidan!"

Kaidan obliged. The medigel stung as it entered the wound did its miraculous work, but it'd keep him in the fight. The pain would just keep him focused. Their objective, the Command and Control center of the facility, was just ahead and Shepard wouldn't let himself give up now. Not when he was so close.

"We've reached the central CnC. Tali, hack the door and get us inside. Wrex, you're in first."

They both nodded in the affirmative. Tali gently coaxed the door open, and Wrex charged inside with powerful strides.

Shepard followed, spraying his assault rifle at a Cerberus soldier who had gone into cover behind a series of holographic display terminals. The air suddenly seemed to warp and the terminal bank went flying towards the other side of the room and through the panoramic window - taking the soldier with it. Two more remained, discounting the one that Wrex proceeded to break on the floor.

Shepard heard one of them call out, "Purge the-" before Garrus' rifle cracked and blasted her helmet into shards of scrap. The other, to their credit, seemed to realize the order she had tried to give. The armored soldier managed two steps before concentrated fire put them down.

Then, it was quiet.

"Tali," began Shepard, "Check the security system. Is there anyone else in the facility?"

"No, Commander. It's just us."

"Good," Shepard remarked quietly.

Kaidan took a look around the command center, "I'd say that's mission accomplished, sir."

Shepard just shook his head. "No. We're just getting started. We had the element of surprise this time, Lieutenant, next time it'll get a lot harder. Garrus, Kaidan, Ash, make sure the area's secure and that Cerberus didn't leave us any surprises. Make sure all defenses are down and then call in the _Normandy_ for retrieval."

"On it, sir."

"Tali, I want all the information we can get off these databases."

"Got it, Shepard. Leave it to me."

Shepard took a few steps towards the panoramic window. The view wasn't impressive, Binthu was just as unremarkable and poisonous as the data had indicated, but it wasn't what Shepard was focusing on. The first blow had been struck. One Cerberus base had been wiped out, dozens of soldiers and personnel dead and there would be enough data in the computer networks to hopefully confirm the data that Admiral Kahoku had already supplied.

For some reason, however, Shepard didn't feel any sense of satisfaction. Part of him wondered if he had truly expected to. It was only the memory of Kahoku's message - and of his death - that served to both reassure him of his task and keep that fury burning at enough of an intensity to allow him to see it through. He couldn't risk growing complacent now; even with the element of surprise Cerberus had been quick to muster a coordinated defense. The fight had only just begun.

They'd certainly be ready the next time Shepard came for them.

Suddenly, Tali cried out. "They're purging the data!"

"What?" Shepard barked. "How?"

"Some sort of viral scrubber! It's fast!"

"How fast?"

Tali's hands were moving frantically over the haptic interface, she shook her head. "_Fast_!"

"Be faster!"

Kaidan looked over from the task he was occupied with, "Sir..."

"Either help her or stand aside, Alenko!"

Kaidan glanced at Ashley, seemed as if he was about to say something but then resumed his duties. Liara, however, seemed to take the instruction to heart and began to tap away at another terminal. Shepard hoped she knew what she was doing.

Time passed and Shepard was all-too aware of the fact that every second meant more and more answers were slipping away from him. He did his best to control his breathing. Panic wouldn't serve him now, if it ever would at all, he could only trust Tali and his squad to follow his commands.

And he knew they would. Yet, with so much seeming to ride on the next few moments, it seemed impossible.

Shepard heard someone approach him from behind. He recognized Tali before she spoke. A Quarian had a slightly different gait to a Human.

"I have the Cerberus database, Commander," she said, her voice slightly hesitant, "I managed to isolate the majority of their scrubber program but I think-"

Shepard sighed. He knew what she was trying to say and he was only concerned with one thing. "How much of it did you get?"

Tali was silent for a few moments. "The scrubber program was fast, faster than anything I've seen - except the Geth, of course. I think they managed to wipe some of the smaller databases but I can't-"

Shepard turned back from the shattered window, to link his eyes with where he imagined Tali's were behind her helmet. He let his voice drop down into that dangerous tone. "I said, _how much of it did you get_?"

"Some of it," was all Tali could get out.

"Some?" Shepard shook his head, his face disbelieving and incredulous. "Some of it isn't all of it! We need all of it!"

"With all due respect, skipper," Ashley broke in suddenly and hotly, "She did the best she could, and even if it's half the database it's still a fair bit of data!"

"A fair bit? Goddamnit, Williams, we didn't come this far for a 'fair bit', we came this far for _all of it_! We don't know what we just lost or the significance of it! What if it was proof?" Shepard was aware his voice had risen like a thunderstorm, booming with a sudden and unexpected ferocity and he found himself not caring.

Shepard didn't know what to say to them - either of them, probably the two women he valued the most in his life. They could never understand what had driven him here, just why it was so important to have all the data, to have all the answers. How could he expect either of them to understand? How could he even start to explain it? Ever since Akuze he had known that something didn't add up and, now, to have the proof so close and yet so far away? He needed these answers, more than anything else in the universe.

And if either of them had cost him that...

He would _never_ forgive them.

At that abrupt moment, Shepard realized that the mission had concluded and in something that wasn't quite success or failure. He gave a curt command to overload the base reactor core and then just turned and stalked his way out of the complex.


	34. Part VI: Splinters, Ch IV: Crucible

**Chapter IV - Crucible  
**

Shepard didn't rest, even as the planet Binthu receded behind the _Normandy_. There was too much to do and it didn't feel as if there was nearly enough time to do it in.

All the information they had acquired from the Cerberus database had been uploaded to his personal terminal and Shepard had wasted no time in going through all of it.

There was an old saying: 'knowledge is power'. And, with what felt like the entirety of Cerberus' data network at his fingertips, Shepard felt quite powerful indeed. It was an extensive list to say the least and surprisingly complete - Cerberus appeared to be keeping tabs on much of the known galaxy. Their records went back years, covering any topic Shepard could want and he realized that this was everything he had wanted to find. With that in mind, and feeling an odd sense of trepidation, Shepard braced himself and ordered the _Normandy_'s VI to search for anything relating to the planet Akuze.

For a few eternal-seeming moments, the VI was silent and Shepard wondered if they had all been incredibly wrong. That there was no conspiracy, that it was just an accident, but then dozens of files ran down the holographic display of his terminal. Shepard picked one at random.

At first, Shepard wasn't sure what he was hearing. It was a melange of voices, men and women speaking over the top of each other.

Suddenly, he realized he was hearing the sound of his own voice amongst it all. And then screams, gunfire, roars made by giant creatures that were all fangs and acid and nightmares.

For a few seconds it all came back. Shepard closed the file and shut his eyes, controlling his breathing as Kahoku had taught him. It was one thing to only believe that Cerberus had been responsible for the massacre on Akuze. It was another thing to see it staring him in the face.

It was a terrible sense of vindication. It would motivate him to do what needed to be done. Shepard's mind had turned to dark things; subterfuge, sabotage, betrayal.

If the strikes against Cerberus were to proceed then there was one thing Shepard had to confirm.

Shepard sent a quick message for Kaidan to report to his quarters and then went back to examining the Akuze data until he arrived.

Kaidan stepped through the door. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"I did, Lieutenant. I have an assignment for you, it may be difficult. I've just uploaded a certain set of information to your omni-tool. I want you to read it and make sure you understand what it contains."

If Kaidan thought it was an odd request he didn't let on. "Is that all, sir? May I ask what it contains?"

"Screening parameters. I want you to start screening the crew against the information Admiral Kahoku provided us with, along with the information we obtained from the facility on Binthu. All of them."

"For what?"

"Anything suspicious, anything out of the ordinary. There are certain markers that can point to possible Cerberus influence if you know what to look for. If you find anything, bring it to me in person. I will take care of it from there. I don't think I need to add that this is strictly confidential."

Kaidan blew out a breath between his teeth. "Sir, with all due respect, isn't this going a bit far?"

"A bit far? The security of this ship is paramount, Lieutenant. If we're really going to go after Cerberus then we cannot afford - under any circumstances - to have one of their agents in our midst."

"Commander," Kaidan began kindly, "Perhaps you should rest. You haven't slept for almost twenty four hours."

"I've got work to do."

"And we're willing to do it for you, to take some of this weight off your shoulders."

"I can't rest yet. Not until I'm sure."

Kaidan went to protest again but Shepard was tired of it. "Lieutenant Alenko, I am now making this a direct order. You will perform these screenings or I will find someone else who can. Dismissed."

"Commander, let it be known that I have extreme reservations about these orders."

"Objection noted, Lieutenant. You have your orders, carry them out."

Kaidan left without another word.

Shepard went back to the data. It was surprisingly complete. He found himself regretting his outburst on Binthu, he had overreacted, drawn conclusions about the data without going through it first.

He made a mental note to go find Tali at some point, thank her for her efforts. He had been a bit harsh.

But he could do that later.

For now, he had work to do.

* * *

Shepard wasn't sure how much time had passed when Joker's voice crackled through the shipboard intercom. "Commander? The Council is requesting to speak to you."

"Tell them to go to hell."

There was a pause in Joker's reply. "Uh, gladly, sir, but they say they have information on Saren."

Shepard sighed. "Fine, put it through in the communications room. I'll be there momentarily."

He hesitated for a few more seconds, finishing off the file he had been engrossed in before throwing on his uniform jacket and making his way to the communications room.

The Council was already waiting for him. If they were displeased with the fact that he had made them wait they gave no sign. The warm glow of their holographic projections seemed especially harsh, perhaps Shepard was more tired than he thought.

"Commander Shepard," began the Asari, "We have received information that may be critical to your mission against Saren."

"Councilors, can we make this quick? I'm in the middle of something important."

The three Council members looked at each other. Finally, the Salarian spoke up: "Very well. We've received an urgent message from one of our infiltration regiments in the Traverse."

"What was their assignment?"

"They were investigating rumors of Geth activity on the outskirts of the Terminus Systems, in particular, anything relating to Saren. They were instructed to maintain complete radio silence unless they encountered a significant problem. We received a transmission from them only a few hours ago but, unfortunately, the message we received was little more than static. Whatever trouble they are in it must be jamming their interstellar communications."

"Considering your interest in Saren," put in the Asari "We thought you might want to investigate this."

"My current investigation is taking me along a different path. It may be some time before I'm able to head out to the Terminus."

"They had been investigating the Hoc System in the Sentry Omega cluster, just outside the Terminus Systems. The message came from the planet Virmire. Given your interest in Saren, we would appreciate it if you could contact our team and determine their status."

"I'll see what I can do. Is that all?"

"There's one more thing, Commander Shepard," the Turian said, "We've received odd reports in regards to the your whereabouts, reports that roughly coincide with a substantial explosion on the planet Binthu. Has there been a new development in your efforts which we have not been made aware of?"

"I do not wish to say over an open channel. It is a sensitive matter."

"Commander Shepard-"

"This is well within my rights as a Spectre. You, the Council, have granted me unlimited jurisdiction when it comes to hunting down Saren."

"And what purpose does this serve? That's what I want to know," growled the Turian, "How is this helping us find Saren?"

Shepard frowned. "I haven't decided yet. Good day, Councilors."

He terminated the communication.

* * *

Shepard was halfway back to his quarters when he heard Ashley come up behind him.

"A moment of your time, sir?"

"Not now, Ash." Shepard kept walking.

She continued anyway. "Kaidan told me about your screenings! This is bull-"

Shepard frowned. He had thought that Kaidan would have known to utilize his discretion.

"It's a Council investigation into the crew of an Alliance warship," Shepard explained, "I'm perfectly within my authority here."

"Like hell it is, John! You know as well as I do just what this is! It's a goddamn witch hunt!"

Shepard kept his voice level. "If you have a problem with my recent actions then feel free to submit a written complaint to the Council, Gunnery Chief."

"Really? All of them? What about Binthu? I doubt the Council would care about that, nor is it worthy of their time, unless you want me to take all matters concerning our guests to them. Especially when it concerns certain people that you're fond of. And, granted, it may not be me, and I may never understand why it isn't, but if you truly cared about Tali then you wouldn't be snapping at her like that!"

That stopped Shepard in his tracks. "So that's what this is about, Ash? Jealousy?"

"Jealousy?" scoffed Ashley, "What would I have to be jealous of? You're jeopardizing our mission against Saren on this quest for revenge and, what's worse, is that you're taking it out on us! The same man who saw fit to lecture me on the importance of getting over my past-"

"Don't you_ dare_ tell me what _my_ mission is or how to run_ my_ ship!" Shepard snarled, "Cerberus threatens the integrity of the Alliance! The anti-alien sentiment of Cerberus is probably being espoused by the exact same people who've held your family down! I thought, of all people on the _Normandy_, you'd understand that. And don't let your personal feelings get in the way of the mission, you should be a better soldier than that."

Ashley's face darkened then. "You can never be with her, y'know," spat Ashley suddenly, "You're chasing some dream!"

"A dream?" replied Shepard, his voice low and harsh, "Well, chasing a dream is better than a goddamn death wish!"

Instantly, Shepard knew he had gone too far. He was only mildly surprised when Ashley struck him with a right hook. She was strong, pain lanced through Shepard's jaw. Then, his reflexes kicked in and he jabbed her right back.

"Nothing stings like the truth, eh, skipper?" muttered Ashley, checking her face with the back of her hand. It came back clean. He hadn't hit her hard.

"I could say the same thing to you," replied Shepard.

"Goddamnit, John. _Goddamnit_. I know why you're doing this, because of Kahoku, because of Akuze, I understand that, but the Alliance crew of this vessel will be the ones brought up on charges if this goes wrong."

"No. I won't stop, not when I'm this close."

"Our orders were to stop Saren-"

"-interpreting orders for a superior officer could be considered an act of insubordination, Chief Williams. I'm sorry, Ash, but I can't let Cerberus go."

Ashley shook her head, sadly. "Well then, I'm sorry too. I refuse to serve under an officer who has no respect for his men and women and questions their integrity."

"Then you will be struck from the combat roster and you are to confine yourself to non-essential areas of this ship until further notice. You are dismissed, Gunnery Chief."

Ashley didn't say anything. She snapped a tense salute and turned on her heel, leaving Shepard in the corridor, alone.

* * *

Shepard was still trying to push the confrontation with Ashley out of his mind, even two hours later.

He was disappointed with Ash. He had expected her, of all the crew of the _Normandy_, to follow him against Cerberus, wherever it took them. He hadn't expected her to get as heated as she did. He hadn't expected himself to get that way either but what's done was done and Shepard knew that he would have to endure the consequences.

He had already drawn up their next target - the volcanic planet Nepheron. If the information from Binthu was correct, that planet was where much of Cerberus' comm. traffic was being routed. Shepard could safely estimate that it was one of their major installations, if not their primary base of operations itself. And yet, even though he had survey data and tactical readouts up on his screen he found himself unable to concentrate on the task at hand.

He decided to go for a walk. He found that he always thought better while moving.

The strike against Nepheron would be more difficult to plan, now that Ashley was no longer part of the combat roster. It would necessitate a change of plans and of tactics, probably forcing Shepard to operate a two-unit squad. That could risk compromising the efficiency of everyone involved but Shepard had fought without Williams prior to Eden Prime and he was sure he could do so again.

And, besides, Ashley would come around. Given enough time, she'd understand why he had to do this. Shepard knew she would.

Kaidan found Shepard as he was passing the mess hall. "Commander, I've completed the task you gave me."

Shepard made a gesture to indicate for Kaidan to lower his voice, leading him to a more secluded area. "What have you uncovered?"

"Nothing that seems to corroborate with the criteria I was given, sir. As best as can be determined everyone on this ship is who they say they are."

"Double check the data, Lieutenant. We have to be sure."

Kaidan sighed, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

Shepard snorted, "That hasn't stopped you before now. Go on, get it out in the open."

"How sure is sure?" Kaidan asked, "Sir, I may not know how much the Admiral meant to you, I may never know. I may never know what happened to you on Akuze. But, sir, we've all been through situations that still haunt us - I killed a man during my biotic training, snapped his neck with a biotic strike. I'm not saying it compares, sir, but in my experience there's just no point in dwelling on it. The past is the past, it's made us who we are and there's nothing we can do to change it. After a certain amount of time, sir, there's no option other than to let go."

Shepard whirled on Kaidan. "Really? Just let go? Kaidan, you have no idea what this means to me! I almost died on Akuze! I spent years wishing that I had because, on that planet, the best part of me went with my squad when they died. I survived all these years by telling myself that it was an accident, just like everyone said, that no one could have known. We'd never encountered Thresher Maws before. But someone did know, Kaidan. Someone did know and they sent my unit there, figuring we would make the perfect weapons test. Maybe these secret bases will provide an answer, allow me to bring those responsible to justice. If you were in my position, Kaidan, could you just let it go?"

Kaidan couldn't look Shepard in the eyes. "No."

"Neither can I. Because if this was a calculated operation, and I'm alive, then maybe there are other survivors." He turned away from the biotic and strode down the corridor, calling over his shoulder. "I have to know, Kaidan!"

* * *

In the end, Shepard decided to stop going for walks, at least until he had dealt with Cerberus. He could feel a headache coming on, both Ashley and Kaidan had provoked something inside of him. No, he could think just as well if he paced by his terminal.

And it meant he wouldn't have to risk running into Tali.

Shepard opened the cabinet in his private bathroom, pulling out a small bottle of pills. Painkillers. He used to take them frequently, had stopped just after becoming a Spectre, but now, with everything, he just wanted that little bit of throbbing stress inside his head to go away. There was just too much to deal with. He swallowed them and ran a hand over his stubble - he would have to shave that. When had he last done so?

He settled back at his desk. He thought again of going to find Tali but realized he had no idea what to say or how to say it.

He would go see her, but once this crisis was over with.

For what seemed like the hundredth time in the day, Shepard's door chimed. All it seemed to do was enhance his irritation.

"Yes?"

The door slid open and Garrus stepped inside. "Shepard," he said, "I wish to talk with you about recent events."

"Then get in line, Garrus."

Garrus gave an odd little chuckle, "I'm not actually here to criticize you, Commander. I'm here to pledge my support."

Shepard looked up at the Turian, "Your support?"

Garrus nodded, "Shepard, have I ever mentioned Doctor Saleon?

"I don't believe you have. What's the relevance?"

"You may be a Spectre, I may be C-Sec, but our job description is the same - we fight injustice and protect the people. Back when I was on the Citadel I had been tasked with tracking black market trade. Most of it is harmless, the sort of thing that if you know about it you can regulate it - no point in pushing it further underground. But during the course of my investigation I noticed a strange increase in the trade of body parts. Organs, mostly. I wasn't sure if there was a new black market lab or if we had some sort of freak who was harvesting organs amongst the civilian population."

"I'm still not seeing it, Garrus."

"It all led back to a Salarian geneticist, a Doctor Saleon. However, the problem was that we still could never figure out what he had been doing. In many cases, the organs we would recover would lead back to healthy men and women who had never lost any. We found nothing of substance when we raided his lab. No Salarian hearts, no Turian livers, hell, not even a single Krogan testicle. As best as C-Sec could determine, he was clean.

"So, we brought in one of his employees for interrogation. I was interviewing him when he just started to bleed on an incredible scale. He freaked out when we tried to patch him up, so, one of our medics did a full examination - the man was covered in incisions." Garrus frowned and shook his head, "Saleon's employees weren't just employees. They were test tubes. Walking, living test tubes. He cloned their organs right inside their own bodies. Then harvested and sold them right off. Sometimes an organ wouldn't grow properly so he'd just leave it in them. Most of them were a mess, but only on the inside, too much packed into too little space. All hidden, so nobody could see it."

Shepard felt as if he understood what Garrus was saying, what he was trying to say without actually stating it. Much like Ashley's crusade for Shanxi, this was the past that Garrus couldn't escape from, why he was so fixated on justice. Something had happened here and it was something that Garrus couldn't forgive himself for.

"What happened to him?" Shepard asked.

Garrus looked away, shaking his head, his mandibles twitching. "And that's the worst part. We never caught up. He ran, blew up his lab, grabbed some of his employees and headed for the nearest space dock. By the time I found out, his ship was already leaving. He threatened to kill his hostages if we tried to stop him. I ordered Citadel defense fleet to shoot him down but C-Sec HQ countermanded my orders. They were worried about the hostages, worried about civilian casualties if the ship was destroyed so close to the Citadel. I told them the hostages were dead anyway, he'd just use them to make more organs... They wouldn't listen."

"I can see why you had so many disagreements with Executor Pallin."

"Pallin said I could quit if I didn't like it. I almost did." Garrus shook his head and remarked bitterly, "All they had to do was disable that ship. Stop Saleon from running. Maybe the hostages die, maybe they don't. But at least we stop the bastard responsible for it all. What I'm trying to say is, Shepard, we both know that there are some people who have to die in order to protect others. Dr. Saleon was one of them, and he got away. Your 'Cerberus' is similar, we both know we can't let them get away with what they've done - especially when they have so much influence. I spoke with Wrex before coming here, we're with you to the end, wherever this goes."

"Then we continue," Shepard was what said, "And God help anyone who gets in our way."


	35. Part VI: Splinters, Ch V: Viscosity

**Chapter V - Viscosity  
**

The Mako was falling.

The hull of the small infantry fighting vehicle began to hum and vibrate in a warning tone. Garrus choked out something that Shepard didn't quite catch but could guess at the meaning. Garrus hadn't liked the drop on Therum and this one, Shepard knew, was much worse. Shepard had ordered the Mako dropped from the absolute maximum possible height that it could endure a landing from - Shepard didn't see any point in giving Cerberus an easy shot at the_ Normandy_.

The fall didn't bother Shepard. As always, it would be the sudden deceleration at the end of the journey that'd be the problem.

Sometimes being frightened had utility but, most of the time, it was a hindrance. As such, Shepard kept his breathing steady and let Garrus do the moaning for both of them. There was nothing he could do now to alter his eventual fate - the Mako would hit the ground and Shepard would either walk away from it, or he would not.

It was oddly comforting.

The Mako slammed into the ground with surprising lightness. The mass effect fields and retro jets had done their job.

"Status?" Shepard asked.

"We've made groundfall," reported Kaidan from the driver's seat, "We are on target."

Shepard took a quick check with his eyes. Outside the Mako's viewports, the dark, barren and volcanic world of Nepheron stared back at him.

"Take us towards the primary objective."

The _Normandy_ had deep-radared the objective in question - another Cerberus facility - the day before, finding it to be almost-completely underground, a maze of twisting tunnels and corridors. The plan was simple, simpler than on Binthu, but it still had its snags.

Shepard's team was divided, in more ways than one. Ashley and Tali had remained on the _Normandy_. Ashley had been barred, but Tali had wanted to remain behind of her own volition in order to continue data analysis - and, since she fell outside Shepard's chain of command, he could not order her otherwise, even if he wanted to. Her absence felt odd, like a dull ache in Shepard's chest, but he tried to concern himself with the pragmatic realities of the next few hours. Not only was the squad without one of its strongest front-line combatants but they now lacked the technical know-how to detonate the reactor at the base's heart - at least without catching themselves in the explosion.

Nepheron had delivered the answer to that, however. The unstable, volcanic subterranean landscape would provide the perfect weapon, once it was appropriately directed. Shepard's team would blast their way in, shoot anything that resisted and secure the database. After that, clean-up was simple. Precise detonations with explosive charges would flood the entire complex with magma. It would level the entire base.

This time there was no need for stealth.

This time Cerberus would know they were coming.

The Mako crested the ridge overlooking the Cerberus base - a small, squat, vaguely-cylindrical structure. The only solitary indication of any life amongst the hellscape of Nepheron.

Kaidan reported, "No contacts, Commander."

That was what Shepard had counted on. Nepheron was too hot for any sort of prolonged engagement, at least outside. The heat would interfere with the heat dissipation of standard weapons. "Acquire target with the main cannon," he ordered, "Give them a volley."

The Mako's cannon barked three times in quick succession. One section of the Cerberus base's wall collapsed in a fiery explosion - a short-lived flare in the carbon dioxide atmosphere.

"Fire again, Lieutenant. I don't want anyone waiting for us just inside."

The cannon fired again, and again. Once Shepard was satisfied, he and Garrus stepped out of the Mako.

"We'll move in from the primary entrance. Beta team, head to the secondary entrance, we can't let any of them escape."

Wrex responded in the affirmative, and Shepard and Garrus trekked their way down the slope, towards the devastated entrance.

The two of them crept into the ruins. Shepard kicked over a pile of detritus as they made their way towards the airlock. "You see anything, Garrus?"

Garrus swept the debris with his scope. "Negative, Shepard. Good money says they'll be waiting for us inside."

"Then let's not keep them waiting." Shepard cycled the airlock - which led into an elevator - and they stepped inside.

As the elevator dropped down into the subterranean base, Shepard realized just how bad a position this was. Cerberus could easily stop the elevator and trap the two of them there where they could then dispatch them at their leisure. And when the elevator stopped and Shepard heard the doors began to hiss and open he wondered why they hadn't done anything.

The elevator opened into sterile-seeming, antiseptic white corridors. It reminded Shepard of a medical facility.

The door sealed shut behind them. "We've got pressure seal," Garrus reported. The two of them removed their helmets.

"I really hope you didn't take us this far to blow up a hospital, Shepard," Garrus drawled.

"It's really not the time for humor, Garrus. Let's stay focused."

As they moved into the base, Shepard had the distinct impression of invading an anthill. Cerberus personnel swarmed to meet Shepard, people who seemed to be nothing more than scientists in flimsy lab coats without even basic kinetic barriers. Some of them wore the impressive Cerberus combat suits they had encountered on Binthu but they were few in number and seemingly caught flat-footed, as if they weren't quite sure which direction the attack was coming from - Kaidan's team had evidently begun their push. Shepard and Garrus gunned them down with impunity.

The rampage continued. Shepard chucked a grenade past a door and was rewarded with an impressive explosion.

On the other side of the room, however, Garrus hesitated. "Shepard?" he called, "We've got something here."

Garrus' room was dark, but Shepard trusted his eyes. If Garrus was hesitating then it would complicate things, whatever was in here.

"What sort of something?"

"Not Cerberus, that's for sure."

Shepard found himself wondering the implications of that statement. Cerberus had been doing experiments with Thresher Maws... could it be possible they had some in holding? The subterranean beasts could live on almost any planet, a planet like Nepheron wouldn't be out of the question. "Bring up the lights," he ordered, "I want to see what's in here."

When Garrus did, pulling off a wall panel so he could re-rout a power conduit, Shepard found himself perhaps wishing that he hadn't. The room was less of a room and more of a corridor, lined on either side with holding cells protected by thick glass and mass effect fields. As Shepard passed one, a red blur of fangs and claws slammed against its prison.

"Rachni!" Shepard almost-shouted. Noveria came back to him then in a rush of memories - _fighting in the dark, the captured Queen, Liara's mother, Tali in the snow_ - and Shepard felt quite glad that he had put Wrex in the second team.

He was also glad that it wasn't a Thresher Maw.

Garrus had advanced further down. "It gets worse. We've got those Thorian creatures down here. And you won't believe what's in the last one."

Edging away from the berserk Rachni, Shepard made his way towards Garrus. The Thorian creatures seemed completely inert without the guidance of their grotesque world-brain, but the final cell was full of vaguely cylindrical silver objects mounted on squat tripods, glowing with blue light.

He recognized them, too.

"That's Geth technology," Shepard stated immediately. "I saw them on Eden Prime. All the after-action reports called them 'dragon's teeth'. The Geth would place people on top of those things and impale them. It'd turn them into some sort of disposable shock troop. I saw it happen."

"If that's the case, then how did Cerberus get their hands on them?"

"I don't have a clue, Garrus. I don't like it. Set a charge in this room, I don't want any of it left which they could recover."

As Garrus laid out a series of charges, he made a hypothesis: "This Cerberus organization believes it is protecting Humanity. Perhaps they are designing weapons systems?"

Shepard nodded, "A good theory, but it doesn't seem to follow. We've killed the Thorian, those husks aren't exactly hard to deal with and the Rachni are, well, pretty much extinct. There's no point in developing specialized weaponry systems to use against any of them."

"There has to be a reason. All criminals have one. These guys are just criminals on a larger scale."

"Yeah," Shepard agreed, "And their files will tell us all we need to know."

"I hope so," Garrus said as he set the final charge, "But we'll be hanging them either way, right, Shepard?"

In that moment, Shepard felt something that could have - maybe - been doubt, as if this clashed with an ingrained instinct or some nearly-forgotten drive, but it quickly seemed to vanish. As he and Garrus strode back out into the madness, guns blazing, blowing up everything in sight, Shepard wondered if he had felt anything at all.

* * *

They met up with Kaidan's team in the vicinity of the command center, as planned.

But outside the command center, in what appeared to be a guard post, half a dozen figures in Cerberus uniforms lay around the room, blood splashed across the walls and floor. One of them had clearly had their brains bashed out against a terminal.

But, by Shepard's reckoning, no one had come through this area - no members of his squad at least.

He had to confirm. He asked Kaidan, "Did you bring your team through this area?"

Kaidan shook his head.

Shepard looked over the corpses. "This is a whole lot of dead Cerberus personnel. They've been shot or beaten to death. And Cerberus doesn't seem the type of turn upon itself. Stay alert, I think someone may have gotten here before us." Shepard thought back to Rachni and decided not to tell Wrex. Instead, he asked Kaidan: "Did you encounter anything out of the ordinary on your way here?"

"Just a lot of warehouses and storage areas," Kaidan replied, "A few ground vehicles. We placed the charges at the designated points."

They paused by the door to the command center. "Then that's the first part of the mission done. Now, like Binthu, we just need to grab the database and get out-" At that moment, something caught Shepard's attention. He could hear shouting on the other side of the door.

Shepard raised his hand for his squad to pause and go silent and then for Garrus to examine the door and glimpse what lay beyond it - his C-Sec combat suit was equipped with a variety of advanced sensors. "Garrus," he whispered, "What've we got?"

"Heat sensors say two people, probably Human."

"Right. Hold you fire until we know what we're dealing with. If someone's killing Cerberus personnel then I want to know who they are."

Kaidan began to brute force the door lock. He held up his fingers, silently counting down. Three... two... one.

Wrex went in first, "Freeze!" he barked, followed by Shepard and Garrus and Shepard took a good, long look at the two people they were sharing the room with.

A shiver ran up his spine. Shepard had never truly understood what someone meant when they said that someone had walked over their grave, until now. He knew that man.

But that was... impossible.

The man's face was haggard and covered in scarring. His skin was pale, his cheeks gaunt. The other was definitely a Cerberus scientist, the only one left in a room that almost resembled a charnel house.

"Stay back!" screamed the scarred man, holding the scientist in a headlock, pressing a gun against the his head. "I've got no grief with you! All I want is this bastard!"

"Don't listen to him!" gasped out the scientist, "He's insane! Please, Mister Toombs, you need help!"

_Impossible._

"Shut up!" he screamed into the scientist's ear, "You don't get to lie! Not now! Not anymore! My name is Corporal Toombs! _Corporal Toombs_!" Then it was like a cloud moved over his face and the man blinked, his eyes squinting in Shepard's direction. "Shepard... My God, Shepard, is that you?"

"Toombs?" gasped Shepard. "But you're dead..."

Toombs laughed hollowly, "I wish, Shepard! I wish! Every single day they kept me here I wished for that! Every day since Akuze-"

Akuze. That nightmare of fangs and acid, of the ground shaking and collapsing beneath whole squads, of titanic, chthonic beasts. Toombs had been the first to vanish.

And he had been the only one who felt something was up, before all hell broke loose.

"How did you-?" Shepard couldn't finish the question. He couldn't find any words.

Toombs shook his head, "They took me, Shepard! The scientists! They lured the Thresher Maws to attack us, Shepard! That's why the whole mission was weird! And then they just watched! They wanted to know what makes them tick, how they'd react to us!"

"This man is delusional!" cried the scientist, "You have to help me!" For the moment, Shepard ignored him.

"I woke up in a holding cell," continued Toombs, "They were delighted I survived. Because now they had someone to run tests on."

Everything seemed to fall away from Shepard. This was everything he expected to find and yet... and yet... He half-whispered, "What did they do to you?"

"They injected me with Thresher Maw acid! They wanted to see what it could do! It was like every part of me was on fire, Shepard! But I got out... They were so busy preparing for you, Shepard, I think, that they didn't notice me. And now I'm going to make them pay."

"This is crazy!" interrupted the Cerberus scientist, "You can't possibly believe him! I demand a fair trial!"

"Shut up!" snarled Toombs, "Shut up, you bastard! He was there, he knows what you did! He knows the truth!" Toombs giggled madly and ground the barrel of his pistol into the man's head, hard enough to draw blood. "This man deserves to die, Shepard! For you, for me, for everyone else in the unit! Are you with me?"

"You can't do this!" snarled the scientist in reply, his fearful facade crumbling away, "You have no idea who you're dealing with! Killing me won't change anything!"

Shepard wasn't aware of finding his sidearm, just that it was there and in front of him. The Cerberus scientist was saying words, words Shepard couldn't hear.

Shepard pressed his finger down, and the Cerberus scientist jerked back violently. His eyes went wide as he stared back at Shepard, not quite comprehending what had just happened.

Shepard pressed the trigger again and again and again. He tried to fire once more, but the heat sinks were exhausted, the alarm chiming loudly in his ear, and the pistol was incredibly hot in his hand. He tried, and tried, and tried.

The next thing he knew, Garrus was kneeling beside him, attempting to pry the overheated pistol from Shepard's grip. "Shepard?" murmured Garrus, "C'mon, Shepard. He's dead, let's go."

But Garrus didn't seem to understand that Shepard couldn't let go. He could _never_ let go.


	36. Part VI Splinters, Ch VI Timing the Rift

**Part VI - Timing the Rift**

"I don't remember anything," Shepard lied.

Doctor Chakwas looked at him oddly, and Shepard was sure she didn't quite believe him. "Nothing at all? Lieutenant Alenko's report indicates that you were in a pretty bad state upon taking the command center, and given your recent actions-"

"I said I don't remember," Shepard broke in, keeping his voice even despite how uncomfortable he felt.

He wasn't sure if the Doctor believed him. Eventually, she just sighed. "Then you should submit yourself to a full examination, you may have suffered a nasty blow to the head."

"I'm fine."

"Then perhaps it is the stress of losing a close friend?"

"Soldiers die in war. I'm used to it. This is just a different sort of war."

"And yet you've hardly slept, barely eaten. This has the appearance of an obsession, Commander."

"It isn't," Shepard replied tersely, "And I resent the implication. Are we done here?"

"_Commander_," Chakwas' voice had the intensity of a firm reprimand, "We are trying to help you - but we can't do that unless you let us."

"I don't need help," Shepard replied as he gathered up his uniform, shrugged his uniform jacket on, realizing that he had to be somewhere - anywhere but where he was. "I have everything under control."

* * *

On some level, Shepard realized he was spending a lot of time in his quarters.

But he had to. He needed to work without distractions. The amount of information that they had uncovered from Nepheron was simply astounding. Using Alliance worlds as testing grounds for Rachni and Husk shocktroops, wiping out the entire civilian population of at least one newly colonized planet. It all went beyond using simply dubious or unconventional methods to protect Humanity.

How many people had died in the pursuit of that goal? How many more would die if Shepard didn't stop them?

And how many more had been left broken, like Toombs? He was already gone from the Normandy, Shepard had arranged for a shuttle to return Toombs to Arcturus Station, where his scars - both physical and mental - might one day be healed.

Everything seemed to be worth it, however, and it galvanized Shepard. Cerberus seemed to be reeling from the recent strikes. Now, Shepard just had to keep up the momentum and prevent himself and his crew from growing complacent.

Suddenly, the door chimed and opened. Kaidan came past the threshold, alone. He brought himself to attention in front of Shepard's desk.

"Lieutenant," Shepard stated.

"Sir," Kaidan's posture didn't relax. "I was just going over some reports and data with Pressly, checking the communications logs..." His eyes flitted away from Shepard, then came back. "Were you going to tell us about the update from the Council?"

"It was irrelevant to the mission."

"The Council wouldn't contact you with irrelevancies, Commander. We both know that. It had to be about Saren." Kaidan pressed onwards, "It was, wasn't it?"

No response.

"You said any information on Saren would take priority!"

Shepard didn't look up from his reports. "Leave it alone, Alenko."

"Sir, I have every right to-"

This time, Shepard looked up. His voice was a low, dangerous growl. "I said leave it alone, Alenko."

Kaidan went silent.

"Now, the logs here indicate that they had Rachni in containment on a space installation in the Gorgon system, that they've seeded worlds with those Geth spikes, they used both of them on various planets as a weapon. We need to deal with that."

"Do we, Shepard? I know what this means to you, but we have already lost over a week's worth of time pursuing Cerberus. We've destroyed their bases, now we need to focus on Saren. We have a lead on him now, we can't risk losing that."

"We've already accomplished the most difficult part of the campaign, Lieutenant. All that remains is the clean-up operation."

Kaidan shook his head, "With all due respect, sir, that's not nearly quick enough. The Council-"

"_Can wait_. We must see this through to the end. There are no other factors to consider."

"Sir, if this continues, I will have to recommend that XO Pressly takes control of this ship pending a psychological evaluation by Doctor Chakwas. Your behavior has become erratic."

"You will do no such thing. I fall outside Alliance command structure. I have maintained the existing rank structure of this vessel as a _courtesy_, don't make me reconsider that."

"If that's how you see it," Kaidan positively seethed, "Then I can't be here while you do this."

Anger. "Then, you can _leave_. Inform XO Pressly that you would like to be removed from the combat roster. Get out."

"Do you even see what you're becoming, Shepard? What you've already become?"

"I said, _get out_!"

If he was anything, Kaidan was always the obedient soldier. But he didn't salute this time, as he always had, Kaidan was just suddenly gone.

Shepard waited until he was sure that Kaidan would be out of earshot. Slowly, deliberately, he stood out of his chair. Then, with an angry shout, Shepard kicked it over, sending it skittering into the wall of his quarters.

He moved to the basin in his bathroom, gripped the edge of it so hard that he thought it might buckle. Shepard splashed water over his face, over the uncharacteristic stubble that had accumulated there, and rubbed at his red eyes.

It didn't calm him as it once used to. The anger was all too familiar now.

Ashley, Kaidan, even Pressly... couldn't they understand why he had to do this? Couldn't they see why it was so important?

Couldn't they understand just how close he was?

And yet he felt that niggling sense of doubt again, in the back of his mind, just like he had felt it on Nepheron. Could he be wrong?

No, even if he was wrong, he couldn't go back. No matter how much he wanted to. If there was doubt, he'd just have to excise it.

* * *

"Garrus," Shepard asked, a few hours later as the two of them planned out their next plan of attack. "Do you ever wonder if we're going about this the wrong way?"

The Turian looked up from the Cerberus notes he was contemplating, "The wrong way?" Garrus seemed to think for a moment, "I don't think so. It may not be ideal, but there are times where you need to go a bit further to ensure that justice is done."

"But is this justice?" Shepard asked, "Real justice? Can you imagine if we had've got that scientist up on trial?"

"It also depends on the system being impartial. We have enough evidence to believe it is anything but."

"Perhaps amongst the Alliance. But on the Citadel? Could the Council get involved?"

"I'm not sure if they'd agree to rule on it..."

"Maybe, but it would have been worth a shot. We could have used his testimony... and I shot him. Everything he knew died with him."

Garrus' mandibles twitched, "But we did stop them."

"No," Shepard admitted, "Garrus, we didn't. Some of them, yes, but the machine that is Cerberus still exists. It'll continue, maybe hide itself that much better. We need clearer heads if we're to take on something like that."

"If you're wrong, Shepard, then they'll get away - just like Saleon did. If we don't act now they will go into hiding! We don't have a choice."

"We do, Garrus. We always do. It always comes down to making a choice. But I want to be sure I'm making the right one. Admiral Kahoku once told me: you are who you choose to be. I don't think I realized exactly what he meant until now."

Garrus let out a frustrated sigh. "I like to think that we're friends, Shepard, so, while I may not understand your sudden reluctance I will follow your lead."

"I just... need more time, that's all."

"Well, once you've made your choice, Shepard, I'll be ready," Garrus took a few moments to finalize something on his omni-tool and then stood up. "If you want to talk then I'll be down in the Mako bay. I figure we'll need it repaired either way. But, Commander, don't take too long - hesitation invites failure, just like with Saleon."

Failure.

He had failed, hadn't he?

Shepard had been so caught up with preventing a failure like Mindoir, avenging his failures on Akuze, that he hadn't realized there was a different kind of failure. And that this kind of failure was all the worse because it came back to his actions; there were no other circumstances. His actions had let his squad - the closest thing he had to a family - fracture and risk falling apart.

Feeling suddenly ashamed, Shepard realized that he was going too far, if he hadn't gone too far already.

And yet, Cerberus was reeling. If their campaign continued Shepard could undoubtedly disrupt - if not outright end - their operations in this sector, if not the entire Traverse.

Revenge was a powerful motivator, but Kahoku was dead and nothing could change that. Shepard knew this.

There were many other people, still alive, who counting on him to stop Saren. Shepard also knew that his failure to stop Saren from obtaining the Conduit and utilizing the destructive power of the Reapers would have dire consequences, although he wasn't quite sure how he knew this.

But the Reapers, the Conduit, those were just concepts to Shepard. Things he thought of in abstract, in having to stop Saren before he obtained them.

Cerberus was something he could find right now, something he could see, touch and kill.

It came back to a single thought. On Noveria, Shepard had made Wrex choose between revenge and what was best for his people and their future, he realized, now, that he would have to make that same choice.

Would he sacrifice his present to avenge his past?

* * *

Later, Shepard found Kaidan and Ashley on the engineering deck, in the cargo bay. There was no salute when he approached them, no greeting - informal or otherwise. The silence was icy and felt, perhaps, more threatening than facing down a gun barrel.

At last, Shepard said: "I've purged several comments I made over the duration of the crisis from your records. You're both welcome to return to active duty."

Ashley broke the silence and briefly stopped cleaning her rifle. She was perched on a crate. "And if we don't want to?"

"Then I'll be going into battle without the two most skilled soldiers I know. And maybe, later on, without anyone else. We're a team. Nepheron made me realize that, and how much I'd damaged it. I failed you, as your Commander and as your friend."

"Because you're a stubborn bastard who's convinced his way is the right way. And, to be completely fair to you, sometimes it is. But this time?" Ashley shook her head. "I don't like apologies, skipper, as far as I'm concerned you never should have forgotten your responsibilities in the first place. That's not what a soldier does."

Ashley always seemed to know just where to strike to find his weak points and, more to the point, she was completely right.

"I know, Chief. I'm just glad that you two tried to reign me in, acted as my conscience even when I'd stopped listening to the one in my head. If we're going to be catching up to Saren then I'd like that advice with me in the fight ahead. I'd like you two to come back, but the choice is yours."

Kaidan shrugged, "I'll be ready if you need me, sir, and I'll take you at your word. Stopping Saren's more important than any misgivings I might have. But after this? I don't know, Commander."

To Shepard, that was acceptable. What he needed at the moment was soldiers and officers, acting out of duty or otherwise. Their friendship would return over time, but only if they continued to serve together.

But Ashley? Shepard wasn't sure where she would go from here. Despite everything, Kaidan and Shepard had served together on the Normandy long enough for this to only be a rough patch in their career relationship. Their familiar routine would return, albeit slowly. Ashley, on the other hand, was still something of a newcomer and could easily leave if she so wanted.

But that was acceptable too.

"Fine," Ashley said at last, standing up. "My father always said that we're all entitled to one big screw up - this one can be yours, John, but you'll have to promise me that you won't ever go that far again."

"I promise."

"Next time, you'll listen to us?"

"There won't be a next time. We are who we choose to be, and I've made my choice. You have my word."

"Sounds like you spent some time rehearsing this little discussion, skipper," Ashley said with a slight grin. "Listen, sir, I don't mean to rain on this parade but I think I'd like to talk this over with the Lieutenant here. But we're back on board-" She shot a quick glance at Kaidan, "-at least for now. But whether we bring this up for external review or not? That's another matter."

Shepard was more than fine with that. He left the two of them there and went to find the last member of his squad.

* * *

Ashley's angry words still circled around inside his head. Sure, the two of them had begun to walk along the path of reconciliation, but the words couldn't be simply forgotten and they still held their power.

Chasing a dream, that was what Ashley had said. And on some level, Shepard knew she was right. There were far too many variables when it came to himself and Tali - even discounting the simple biological differences and the protective environmental suit, either one of them could get shot and killed.

Ashley hadn't even mentioned that most damning point, Shepard knew, perhaps because Ashley knew she didn't need to.

It was just a simple fact: Tali was on her Pilgrimage. At the end of the current crisis she would leave the Normandy.

At the end of it all, Shepard knew he would probably never see her again.

However, if that was the case and he knew those facts, then why was he still noticing the sleek lines of her suit, the way her fingers ran across her omni-tool, the way she idly brushed at the veil/cowl that covered her helmet?

Maybe it was because he was an idiot who was placing too much stock in simple physiology and psychology, nothing more. Tali was young, perky and exuberant - his body was just responding to that. Anything else would be far too complicated. The incident with Cerberus had proven one thing, that the mission had to come first - regardless of what he personally wanted.

And so, Shepard made himself busy by talking to Adams and the crew, despite the obvious reason why he was in the engine room. Eventually, however, Adams left and Shepard was forced to confront Tali.

"Shepard," she said, turning towards him as he approached her. "Do you need something?"

"Not really. Just checking in, seeing how things are doing."

"I saw you talking to Adams. He didn't tell you?"

Shepard grinned a little, "Well, I was meaning more about yourself. Adams informed me of all the technical shipboard details."

"I've been busy. I uploaded the most recent batch of Cerberus data to your terminal. And I've been meaning to knock some irregularities out of the drive output. I don't mean to be rude, but I'd like to get back to that. Do you mind?"

"Not at all, but before you do... I got you something, a present. A way to make up for how I acted." A half lie, he had acquired it well before the outburst on Binthu, but this seemed as appropriate a time as any.

He handed her the box, wrapped in plain wrapping paper. Tali just looked at it.

"What is this?"

"Unwrap it. It's a gift." Shepard paused, realized something. "You don't wrap your gifts on the fleet?"

Tali shook her head and slowly, delicately began to unwrap the present. "No. It would constitute a waste of resources." Then she opened the box and gasped.

It was the deep purple Quarian veil.

"I saw you looking at it," Shepard offered, by way of explanation.

Tali was silent for some time. She stared at the garment, turning it around in her hands as if to examine it from every angle. She looked up, "Commander, I can't-"

"You can, and you will. I've made certain that you can't return it. Listen, Tali, I've never been good with apologies and I don't think kind words can ever really make up for poor actions, but I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say."

"I would have followed you, Shepard, because you're my Commander and because I..." Tali trailed off suddenly and turned her gaze back to the veil, "But this? I just... I never..."

Tali's three fingered hand traced over some of the intricate patterns and Shepard heard an odd sound. Was she crying behind that visor?

There was that awkward feeling again. "Well, we've both had several long days. Time for me to turn in. Good night, Tali."

He was halfway to the door before Tali spoke up, "Commander, no one's ever given me anything like this before."

"Then perhaps someone should have," Shepard said, quietly. "Good night."

"Good night, Commander Shepard. And thank you."

_Commander Shepard_. It didn't sound right. That was what subordinates called him. It sounded as if Tali was thanking someone else.

Shepard hesitated by the doorway, turned back towards Tali. "Next time we talk... call me John?"

Behind the polarized visor, Tali nodded.

* * *

It took Shepard some time to push everything out of his mind.

Had Cerberus given him a license to screw up? It felt that way. It was like an addiction, like the alcoholism following Mindoir and Akuze, because then he could relax his self-control, lash out at the people around him and reassure himself that it wasn't his fault. He could make himself as powerless as he felt he had been. So, had Cerberus been his new addiction? It seemed like it, to Shepard. Cerberus had hurt him, had hurt many people he had cared about, responding in kind only seemed proper, especially when he had made himself believe that he no other choice.

And yet if he had continued down that path, chasing down every last bit of Cerberus, they would have harmed him once again, taken another part of his life away from him.

And the cycle would begin again. In fact, it would never end.

He had to be better than that. He had choices. He'd crawled out of that bottle a long time ago and wasn't about to go crawling back in, regardless of whether it wore a black and gold uniform or not.

Akuze, Cerberus, it had already taken enough of his life. He had a new one now. A life with friends, and maybe something more.

He wouldn't let them down again. He wouldn't risk losing them. Shepard had made his decision - to hell with Cerberus, at least for the moment.

"Joker," Shepard called over the intercom, "Take us on a vector towards the nearest Mass Relay and tell the crew to standby for relay transit."

"Will do, sir, but what's our destination?"

"Lay in a course for the Hoc system," Shepard smiled to himself, "Next stop, Virmire."


	37. Part VII: Tempest, Ch I: Blind

**Part VII - Tempest**

_"Self-preservation is the first law of nature." _- Samuel Butler _  
_

**Chapter I - Blind**

"So, that's Virmire."

"Looks like paradise, skipper."

"Right on the edge of the Terminus. Paradise on the edge of hell."

"Either way," Ashley said, almost gawking at the planet outside the _Normandy's_ bridge viewport. "It's beautiful. I can see why the Alliance wants it."

Shepard could, too. Crisp blue oceans, vibrant green terrain that spoke of forests and grasslands, an atmosphere perfectly suited for Human life. Terminus systems or not, it was an outstanding prospect for colonisation. A beautiful garden world.

"Yeah, well, you know my feelings on beauty-"

"-like a cobra, sir?"

"Like a cobra. We'll just have to try and not get bitten."

Shepard turned from the viewport and towards Joker; the two of them would have plenty of time to take in the sights once the mission was done. Maybe he could even make time for a slight stop over. "Are we picking anything up? Any distress beacons?"

"Aye, Commander, one distress signal. It corresponds to Salarian ident. And there's several more that appear to be Geth in signature, probably heavy anti-air guns, given these readings."

"There's our first complication. We'll insert a ground team and knock out enough of those guns to create a corridor. When that's done, Joker, bring the _Normandy_ in and we can start to evacuate the Salarian team. Chief, prep the Mako."

Ashley just laughed, "On it, skipper. Garrus is going to love this."

* * *

Virmire was just as beautiful on foot as it was from space.

Shepard, however, had little time to enjoy the view. The Geth had dug themselves in and dug themselves in _hard_. The grey-armored synthetics had set up a network of bunkers and listening posts around their anti-air batteries, using thick gates to blockade the canyons that would lead Shepard to the Salarian distress signal. Shepard's squad had brought down two already, and this final one would allow the _Normandy_ to make landfall, but the Geth had realized this and had redoubled their efforts to defend it.

Sand erupted around Shepard as a volley of fire from the Geth narrowly missed their mark. He threw himself down into cover and retaliated with a quick burst of assault rifle fire. "Williams!" he barked, "Bring the Mako up!"

The Geth turned their firepower towards the Mako as it came over a sand dune and began loudly opening up with its main cannon and coaxial machine gun. As that happened, Shepard made his move, surging his way up the slight incline towards the final Geth AA tower.

A Geth Destroyer loomed up in front of him as he crested the rise and Shepard fired twice with his shotgun, shattering the kinetic barriers of the synthetic warrior and blasting internal components out of the Geth's torso chassis. A third shot sent it permanently offline.

"Tali! Get inside and shut this thing down. We just need enough of a window to get the _Normandy_ on the ground!"

"Can do, Shepard! Watch my back!"

Wrex laughed, "I bet he'll watch more than that," as he hosed a ramp down with assault rifle fire, breaking the Geth counter-attack and sending the synthetics into cover. One never made it, its cranial casing blasted into splinters by an expert shot from Garrus. The Turian was running the perimeter, an outrider with a killing eye.

As if on cue, Garrus' voice echoed over Shepard's helmet link. "Incoming, three Geth drone fliers!"

"Eyes up!" Shepard barked, catching a glimpse of the metallic craft as they skimmed over the top of a cliff and dove towards the squad. Shepard had almost forgotten that the Geth made use of aerial support, Eden Prime seemed so long ago. He had faced something similar there but these ones were bigger, more angular... and two of them packed rocket launchers.

Two missiles slammed into the Mako, detonating in bright red flares, and slewing the light vehicle to one side. Shepard could hear Ashley curse over the radio as she brought the vehicle's turret to bear, the storm of slugs shredding one of the fliers, and her yelling at Kaidan to get the Mako moving.

Garrus brought another down as it came around for another pass, sending it into the waters. It was then that Shepard realised that the drones were making fairly predictable attack runs, he let his rifle lead the final drone and pulled the trigger.

The high pitched whine of the drone's engine only seemed to intensify as it death-spiraled into the ground, buried itself into the sand and exploded.

Tali's suddenly chirped into Shepard's ear, "Turret is down! It'll be some time before the Geth can reactivate it!"

"Good work, Tali!" Shepard called and ducked back as he triggered the _Normandy's_ frequency, "_Normandy_, Shepard. The path is clear, you've got a corridor. Come in low and fast! We'll see you at the Salarian beacon!"

"On it, sir. See you there!"

Shepard stepped out of his cover and around into the open - only to bring himself face to face with a Geth Destroyer.

The black-armored synthetic seemed almost as surprised as he was and Shepard thought to bring his gun up but, even then, he knew he would be too slow.

But the Geth didn't fire. It seemed to twitch and spasm and then it...

...turned away from Shepard.

The twitching Geth went back the way it came, spraying its rifle at its synthetic 'allies'.

Then Tali was there and her omni-tool was glowing brightly and Shepard suddenly understood what had happened even though he had never seen anything like it.

The rogue Geth, while a surprising distraction, didn't last terribly long. The remaining Geth recovered in short order and, with a few short bursts of fire, absolutely dismantled the lone synthetic. However, it gave Ashley and Garrus enough time to catch the remaining Geth in a crossfire and shred them into pieces of shattered, twisted metal and broken components.

Shepard ordered a status update and turned from the destruction. "Tali, how the hell did you do that? I didn't think Geth could be hacked."

Tali nodded, "That's true, Geth are quite good at detecting foreign intrusions in their high-level processes. However, their combat abilities, algorithms and subroutines are generally run by their low-level processes. Those ones are much easier to influence." She shook her head, "It's never permanent though but I suppose it works as well as it should. That, and there's something satisfying about watching them shoot at each other."

"Low-level processes..." Shepard mused, "Would those be like their base instincts?"

Even under the mask, Shepard could tell that Tali had just shot him a look.

"Right, sorry. They're machines. I won't forget again. Let's get moving, we've got quite a hike before we hit the Salarian camp."

* * *

The Salarian encampment didn't seem nearly as far as Shepard's HUD indicated, perhaps thanks to the magnificent vistas and views of Virmire. Even inside the Mako, through armored viewports and tactical displays, the planet was a beautiful, bountiful paradise.

But, for some reason, that didn't seem to reassure Shepard. The beaches of Virmire that now seemed so inviting had been crawling with Geth. Now there were none and hadn't been any since they had brought down the last AA tower. The sound of their absence was almost as worrying as the sound of their weapons. Tali had once said that the Geth never retreated, they only regrouped and Shepard was given to trusting her information on the Geth more than anyone else's. Shepard intended to be off the planet before they got the opportunity to launch a counter-attack.

The Mako crested a dune and the Salarian camp came into view. It wasn't sophisticated or pretty, just a mess of tents and a prefab shed clustered in the shadow of a rocky outcropping. There was only a sparse few meters of sand between the tents and the ocean. If Shepard had to guess, they were attempting to evade the attention of the Geth. Briefly he wondered if the the _Normandy_, on its landing gear in the water, had compromised that.

Not that it mattered, Shepard supposed. They would get the Salarians off the ground soon enough.

Shepard's squad exited the Mako - and found themselves quickly confronted by half a dozen Salarian soldiers. The others lingering in the camp were just as alert.

A bright green-skinned Salarian wearing the markings of a Captain pushed his way through the crowd, waved his hand and the rifles dropped down to a relaxed posture. "Captain Kirrahe," he said, "Third Infiltration regiment, Special Tasks Group. I must say I'm surprised, we thought only Geth could be found on this world."

Shepard nodded, "It certainly seems that way. Commander John Shepard, Spectre. What's the situation?"

"I wish we could have met under better circumstances, Commander Shepard. You've landed in the middle of a hot zone. Every AA gun within ten kilometers has been alerted to your presence. Your ship may have made it down but it certainly won't be getting back to orbit any time soon. I suggest that your team makes themselves comfortable, they may be here for some time."

"So, we're not leaving unless we take them out," Shepard replied, waving his squad into the camp while he remained with Kirrahe. "I trust you have a plan?"

The Salarian nodded, "Simple. We stay put and wait for the Council to send us the reinforcements we requested."

Shepard grimaced and waved a hand towards his squad, the eclectic mix of Humans and aliens who were now entering the camp. "Then there's a snag. We_ are_ the reinforcements."

"What?" the Salarian's already large eyes widened further, "You're all they sent? We advised the Council to send a fleet!"

"Your transmission was unclear, the Council sent us to investigate."

"That is a repetition of our task," Kirrahe scowled, his voice tinged with bitterness. "I have lost two thirds of my men 'investigating' this place."

"What is it, exactly? What're the AA guns for?"

"They're to protect what we believe to be Saren's primary base of operations," Kirrahe stated, "But it also appears to function as some sort of research facility. It is crawling with Geth, and very well fortified."

"Have you seen Saren?" Shepard asked, "The Council tasked me with bringing him down. If we can do that..."

"No," Kirrahe admitted, "But his Geth are everywhere and we have intercepted some communications referring to Saren by name with positive voice ident. This is his facility, there is no doubt about that." Kirrahe nodded, "He's here."

"A research facility?" Shepard said, pondering it to himself. "Do you have any idea what he's working on? Have you heard any references to a Conduit?"

Kirrahe shook his head, "We have heard nothing that matches that description. What Saren is doing-" And at that moment Shepard noticed Wrex had ambled up and Kirrahe distinctly glanced at the Krogan. There was a pause and the air seemed to become thick with tension as Kirrahe took a few more moments to respond. "He is using the facility to breed an army of Krogan."

Wrex replied first, "How is that possible?"

"Apparently he has discovered a cure for the Genophage," Kirrahe said quickly to Wrex, as if deflecting any further questions. "This poses significant problems, Commander Shepard."

Shepard nodded and tried to put the fact that Wrex was looming behind him out of his mind. "That's a definite complication."

"Yes. Given these factors, we must ensure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed."

"Destroyed?" Wrex shook his head, "I don't think so. My people are _dying_. This cure could save us."

"And if that cure leaves this planet then the Krogan will once again become unstoppable," Kirrahe remarked adamantly, "The Genophage was a necessary measure to curb their growth rate. We cannot make that mistake again."

Wrex took a step forwards, his lips twisted in a snarl. "We are_ not_ a _mistake_!" he growled out, stabbing the Salarian with a finger. Shepard almost moved to intervene but, seething, Wrex stalked away before it went any further.

Kirrahe watched Wrex go, the massive Krogan stalking his way out into the water, his shotgun in his hands. There was a pause as Kirrahe seemed to take this in. "Is he going to be a problem, Commander Shepard? We already have enough angry Krogan to deal with."

"Your tact could use some work, Captain. But he will be fine. I'll talk to him. He won't do anything rash." At least, that's what Shepard hoped - he could hear Wrex's shotgun firing into the water behind him.

"Tact? I'm here to win this battle and hold the line, Commander, but I would appreciate that. I must rethink the plan of attack, now that your team is here. This may allow us a unique opportunity."

"Good. I'll meet with you shortly to plan out our strategy and tactics."

"Just placate the Krogan, Commander Shepard," Kirrahe replied tersely, "I'll be in the command tent."

Ashley made her way over to Shepard as he strode out towards the water. Her helmet was off and her dark hair was flowing in the breeze. She looked good like that. "I think we've got a problem," she stated plainly, her eyes pointing to Wrex.

"I know, Chief," Shepard replied and he was already reaching up to pull his various weapons off his armor hardpoints. "Take my weapons, I'm going out there."

"Skipper, are you sure that's wise?" Ashley asked as Wrex's shotgun continued its steady rhythm, "He's shooting into the water."

"Just letting off steam... I hope," Shepard said, "But if Wrex wants to hurt me I don't think I can do much to stop it, weapons or not. Maybe he'll relax if he sees I'm unarmed."

"And maybe he'll snap you in half, sir."

"It's certainly possible," Shepard admitted, "Fine, if it makes you feel better, then find a good vantage point and give me some cover. Just make sure Wrex can't see you."

"Sounds like a plan, skipper. Good luck."

With that, Shepard handed over his weapons, took a long breath of the clean, crisp air, and strode out into the water.


	38. Part VII: Tempest, Ch II: Endurance

**Chapter II - Endurance**

Shepard approached Wrex with a mounting sense of trepidation. Wrex's shotgun barked the Krogan's fury into the water, scattering sea life in every direction, and Shepard kept expecting Wrex to turn the weapon on him as he approached.

However, it was only Wrex's eyes that turned in Shepard's direction. They were still just as incensed as they had been when he had snarled at Kirrahe. "This isn't right, Shepard," he managed, "If there's a cure for the Genophage, we cannot destroy it!"

Shepard stopped more than an arm's distance away in ankle-depth waters. "You need to calm down, Wrex. Saren's the enemy here."

"Is he? Really? Seems like Saren's created a cure for my people. And you..." Wrex turned towards Shepard and, for some bizarre reason, this was the first time that Shepard really felt confronted by Wrex's size. "And you want to destroy it-"

"Kirrahe may have gotten his information wrong, Wrex."

"He's a Salarian, Shepard. Special Task Group. They don't get things wrong. The Krogan are aware of that all too well. So, you better help me out here, Shepard," Wrex growled out, "The line between friend and foe are getting pretty blurry from where I stand."

"What is there to explain?" Shepard asked. "Saren doesn't care about these Krogan!"

"He cares more than the Council!"

"Don't you remember Noveria? What he did to the Rachni?"

"Rachni aren't Krogan, Shepard. We beat them. We're better than them. Don't you dare compare us." Wrex paused then and Shepard could see that he had realized something, "And you gave them a second chance. Why can't you do that for my people?"

Shepard shook his head, his voice rising. "That's irrelevant! All Saren cares about his is own power! This isn't altruism, Wrex, it's a way for Saren to create an army! You want your people to become slaves to him?"

"At least they'd be born, Shepard! At least they'd be _alive_!"

"Wrex, you have no idea what this means-"

"No!" roared Wrex, easily drowning Shepard out, "_You_ have no idea what this means to _me_, Shepard! It means only one thing! It means my people could be saved! That is all it means!"

"Saved? _Saved_?" And Shepard almost found himself laughing, "Saved for what purpose? To fight and die for some Turian? To eventually be completely wiped out by the Council or the Reapers? This isn't up for discussion, Wrex. Fall in line!"

"So, this is what it comes down to, Shepard?" Wrex asked, stalking forwards until their eyes were only inches apart. "An order?" The Krogan was trembling. "I followed you because I wanted to fight for something other than credits. If you can't give me a better reason than that to destroy the hopes of my people, then I'm done with you."

Shepard's hand itched and he wished for his sidearm. His brave words to Ashley seemed foolish now. But she was still out there, providing cover with a weapon far more powerful than Shepard's pistol, thinking she was protecting him. He hoped she wouldn't fire.

"Wrex, these are not your people!" Shepard gasped, exasperated. "They're tools, they're slaves, to be used up and discarded once Saren finds the Reapers or the Conduit - whatever he's looking for! Is this what you really want for the Krogan?"

Even as he argued and railed against Wrex's viewpoint, Shepard knew that the Krogan was right on one thing. Shepard didn't understand what the cure could mean.

Yes, Shepard had suffered, endured more than most people would ever go through, but he had never seen his_ entire species_ suffer. An entire race of sapient life paying for the sins of their forefathers - forever. It was a ghastly response to a war that would have continued without end, despite Kirrahe's proclamations of necessity. Now, instead of a war that would never end, the Krogan had to endure an unending wake.

Wrex was right, Shepard could never understand.

"No..." Wrex finally said, letting out a long breath and closing his eyes. "We were tools of the Council once... In exchange for wiping out the Rachni they neutered us all. I know Saren won't be as generous."

"Trust me, Wrex, please. Inside the base, we can get Tali to check the databases for any information on this cure and we'll see what we can find out, you have my word, but it is a secondary objective, do you understand?"

"Alright, Shepard. You've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. Just one thing... when we find Saren, I want his head."

"You'll have it. Wrex, thank you."

The Krogan said nothing and turned away.

* * *

As Shepard stepped out of the water, Ashley came to meet him.

"Nice job, sir. I'll admit I had my finger on the trigger, though."

Shepard groaned, "Ash..."

Ashley quirked a grin, "I'm kidding, skipper. Listen, Kirrahe sent me to find you."

"I told him I'd find him once I'd calmed down Wrex. Does he think I forgot?"

"I don't think so but he seems all agitated. I think he's planning something big."

"I won't keep him waiting then. That little prefab's functioning as the command center, right? While I'm there, would you mind checking on our operational status?"

"Not at all, skipper, have fun." She leaned in close and added in a conspiratorial whisper, "Just... if you suddenly decide to go shotgun fishing afterward, let me know, ok?"

* * *

Kirrahe waved a hand towards a three-dimensional projector which was displaying an incredibly detailed map of the exterior of Saren's fortress. Wrex was right, the Salarians certainly didn't leave anything to chance. "Unfortunately it is as we suspected, Saren's facility is fortified far beyond our initial estimates, making us unable to proceed with our original plan."

Shepard looked up from the map. "Which was?"

"We are preparing to convert our own vessel's drive core into a twenty kiloton ordinance. Crude, but effective."

"That's enough to wipe a city off the face of the planet."

"Yes. We would drop it on Saren's fortress from orbit and await retrieval from the Council. However, due to the anti-ship defenses, it appears we must place the bomb inside the facility ourselves. Your ship can deliver it, however, we will need to insert teams in order to infiltrate the base, disable the local anti-air defenses and pacify any ground forces first."

"On foot?" Shepard cast a quick glance back towards the tactical display, "I don't believe we have the manpower."

"No, we don't," Kirrahe replied resolutely, "But we shall work around that. I'm going to divide my men into three teams and hit the front of the facility, directly up this slope." A relevant area on the display was highlighter as Kirrahe tapped his omni-tool and Shepard tried not to shake his head. "With this distraction you, Shepard, shall be able to sneak your own 'shadow' team inside the fortress from behind."

Shepard shook his head. "Those towers look to be filled with Geth and heavy weapon emplacements. They'll cut you down before you can even make it half way up that slope." Shepard pointed to an area on the map, a small canyon that seemed to cut right through to the facility. "How about there?"

"That area is mined," Kirrahe replied, "and there are snipers equipped with electronic warfare suites to ensure that we cannot remove them without a substantial loss of soldiers and time. We don't have enough of either."

"Captain, I must state for the record that any frontal assault on this facility will be a suicide mission. You will take _significant_ losses."

"Indeed, which makes what I'm about to ask you all the more difficult. I need one of your people to accompany me and assist in coordinating the teams."

Shepard felt his face twist slightly, "Absolutely not. We're a team, we work as a team. You'll be risking our unit cohesion."

Kirrahe didn't miss a beat. Perhaps he had expected Shepard's response. "Sacrifices must be made for the sake of the mission, Commander. You know what is at stake."

Shepard turned his eyes back towards the tactical map, the sterile criss-crossing lines and angles that represented the brutal reality where people were to lose their lives. "Captain, with all due respect, perhaps we should call this assault off. We can wait, plan a better attack strategy."

"We have no time," Kirrahe replied firmly, "Your arrival has compromised our location. We have intercepted data that we believe relates to attack orders from Saren to the Geth. Saren will flee, taking his Genophage data with him, or this camp will fall under siege. We will not hold against that. We have a very narrow window here, Commander Shepard, we must make use of it."

Shepard cursed the fact that Kirrahe was right and, after a moment, asked: "Then who do you want?"

"Either of your officers Alenko and Williams will do, Commander. I had your pilot forward me their service records - both seem willing to sacrifice their lives if necessary."

"They will not be required to do that, Kirrahe. I'll make my decision and get back to you within the hour."

Shepard was almost outside when Kirrahe replied, "If we are lucky."

He hesitated for a fraction more and decided not to turn back. "We will be, Kirrahe, because we'll make our own luck."

* * *

Outside, on the crystal shores of Virmire, with sun's light slowly dimming, Shepard sat on a crate and thought.

Despite everything, the Cypher gnawed at his hind-brain. Shiala's words hadn't seemed to be accurate and he was still unclear to him, like fragments of a dream. There was something near them, he knew that however, something threatening and terrible, looming in the shadows. What that was, however, the Cypher would give no concrete details. Perhaps Shepard was imagining the threat, confusing it with the reality of Kirrahe's plan.

Running up a hill, right into dozens of weapons, Kirrahe had to be mad. And he had to be even madder still to ask Shepard to send one of his most valued friends into that killing field. But without time to reconfigure the STG and Alliance communications protocols, there was no other option. There simply had to be a liaison to relay information.

A liaison. In that sense, Kaidan was the perfect choice. He was diplomatic, he was calm, he was an officer. He had led men and he had seen men die. The complication was that Kaidan's substantial electronics experience made him the most obvious choice - except Tali, whom Shepard would need to assist him inside Saren's fortress - to arm Kirrahe's improvised bomb.

When it came right down to it, Ashley was just as qualified as Kaidan to lead a unit. Officer or not, she had commendations from scores of simulations and wargames that demonstrated her ability. She would never surrender until the mission was complete. And she wanted a chance to prove herself, not just to the Alliance, but to the Council as well.

But realistically, pragmatically, honestly, there was only once choice he could make. And so he made it.

Ashley's voice came from behind him. "First time you've ever taken a lady to the beach, skipper?"

In spite of everything, Shepard grinned slightly. "Actually, yes, Chief."

"You'll have to do better than that to get me into a bikini, sir."

He turned to face her. Her hair was still down - definitely the first time he had seen that - and she was beautiful. "Wouldn't that be a sight," Shepard said quietly.

Ashley moved closer and sat down beside him, "Are you okay, sir? I was chatting to some of the Salarians, scuttlebutt has it that you and Kirrahe are planning some big op."

"Not planning, planned."

So, Shepard laid it all out - all except his personal misgivings with the plan. Kirrahe would lead an assault against Saren's fortified positions in order to distract the Geth and buy time for the rest of them to infiltrate the fortress. They'd gather what information they could, hopefully track down Saren himself but, regardless, there wouldn't be an installation by the end of it.

Ashley took it as well as Shepard had expected. "There's something you're not telling me, John."

Shepard nodded slowly, "You'll be leading one of the Salarian teams when we assault Saren's fortress."

There was silence for a few moments as Ashley mentally digested what Shepard had just said. "I'll be going right up the gut?"

"Right through the front door, apparently."

"Not saying I haven't trained for this, haven't done simulations of fortification assaults but, sir, are you sure about this?"

"Fairly sure." He smiled for a moment before he face fell back into its usual hard demeanor, "Listen, Ash, you told me you'd gotten past your prejudices. You didn't lie to me."

"No, I-"

"It wasn't a question, Chief. I know you didn't. I know you wouldn't."

Shepard's face was hard, trying to put a facade over the nausea he felt in his stomach about the whole situation. They needed more time, more men, more _anything_, so he didn't have to do this. But the choice was made.

Ashley's face was dead-set too, "I'll do it, sir."

"Trust me, Ash, I don't want to throw you into the fire like this. But Kaidan-"

"-has to oversee the activation of the bomb. I get it, John, and that's a good thing because I really don't know the first thing about improvised nuclear devices anyway."

Shepard looked back out to the waves, to the horizon and wished for something in Ashley's file that - even just a little bit - would have allowed Shepard to alter the choice.

But there wasn't, and he couldn't risk the operation because of what he wanted. He'd told Ashley he wouldn't do that again.

The crate creaked as Ashley moved closer. She cracked a wry smile, "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, okay? I won't be around to bail your ass out of the fire like on Eden Prime."

"Nor I you, remember the beacon? No heroics, Williams, nothing beyond the call of duty. Let's just do this, get out and go home. We can end this right here and I intend to see you at the victory celebrations."

Her dusky skin and vibrant eyes so close to him, once again. He was all too aware of his breathing, how loud and hard it felt. Ashley said at last, "I'll be sure to wear a dress... sir."

They kissed, first hungrily, grasping at each other through combat armor, running armored gauntlets through hair and over shoulders and then they slowed. Now, it was for comfort.

They parted almost-reluctantly and Ashley dropped back onto the sand.

He had to say something.

"Good luck, Ash."

"You too, skipper. I'll see you on the other side, you'll see."

He wanted to follow her. The sun was dropping low and Shepard had the thought that maybe, just maybe, he could spend it doing something other than planning for an almost suicidal assault. He could get to know Ashley Williams, truly get to know her, they could throw off their armor and their rank and just run through the sand and the surf because what if this was the last time he ever saw her?

He pushed those thoughts away. They would be fine. John Shepard would see Ashley Williams again.

They were lucky.

He wasn't sure how long it was until he heard footsteps in the sand behind him again.

"I told you, Ash, the decision is final." Shepard turned to face the footsteps and found that it wasn't Ashley Williams at all but, rather, Tali.

She regarded him curiously. "What decision, John?"

Shepard just shook his head, "Probably one of the most difficult I'll ever have to make. Kirrahe requested that I send him a liaison to help co-ordinate our activities. Chief Williams will be going with Kirrahe. They'll be leading a frontal assault, right into the heart of Saren's fortifications. We're going over the top, Tali, and soon."

"Over the top?"

"An expression, from old Human warfare. You'd have soldiers lined up in trenches with guns pointed at the opposing side. To go 'over the top' would be to leave your trenches and charge across a flat plain towards the enemy's defensive position. Usually, they all died."

"Be that as it may, John, I'll fight beside you, with fire and steel."

"I don't doubt that, but..." Shepard sighed loudly, "We're not equipped to assault a fortified position of this scale, the Salarians aren't either." Shepard shook his head, "I don't like it. Something feels terribly wrong."

"We've beaten the Geth before. Many times."

"Yes, but circumstances worked to our advantage on Feros and Noveria. This will be our first major engagement with them and we'll be fighting an uphill battle." Shepard snorted. "At least for us it won't be literal."

"You don't like Kirrahe's plan."

"There has to be a better way. He can hold whatever line he wants, but he'll be doing it in a meat grinder." Shepard shook his head and looked into the reflective visor of Tali's helmet. "Well, we can't change it now. He's set on it and if we don't go with him then it'll be a guaranteed slaughter as opposed to a possible one. Listen, you ever been out in the waves? Seen a sun set?"

Tali turned her head away from Shepard and looked out at the ocean. "No, I- On the Flotilla-"

Despite the looming battle and everything that would come with it, Shepard smiled. "Come on out into the water, let's get our feet wet. Figuratively speaking."

He reached over and took Tali's hand in his own. She squeezed it tight, harder than he had expected her to. He had no doubt she was just as worried as he was.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Tali, or anyone else on this mission." His free hand caressed her bicep through her environmental suit as the waves caressed her shins. She kept looking down, as if she expected the water to suddenly swallow the both of them up. Eventually, slowly, she rested her helmet against Shepard's arm.

That was how they stood, hand in hand, standing in the shin-depth waters, as they watched the sun go down.

Everything would work out, Shepard reassured himself, he was lucky, after all.

Wasn't he?


	39. Part VII: Tempest, Ch III: Static Charge

**Chapter III - Static Charge**

At midnight, Kirrahe gave the order to move out.

They had abandoned the camp, and left enough electronic decoys and fake comm. chatter that it would hopefully make the Geth believe that the area was still, in fact, filled with people. After a rousing speech where he, once more, reiterated the importance of holding the line, Kirrahe had divided his remaining soldiers into three teams - Aegohr, Jaeto and Mannovai - and Ashley had gone with them.

Shepard's team, designated Shadow, had been slipped, undetected, into what appeared to be an old canal or river that had dried out at some point in the past. The sediment crunched under Shepard's feet as nervous tension compelled him into movement. From his vantage point he could see Saren's installation and, if he looked hard enough, thought he could even make out the single ocular sensors on each Geth's head.

There were _a lot_ of them.

Even though Tali had assured him that their distraction at the camp would hold long enough for them all to get into position, Shepard leaned back until he was well out of any possible line of sight. No point in giving the Geth any easy shots.

"How many?" Kaidan asked, his voice low.

"I approximate a dozen," Shepard replied. "None of the bigger platforms."

"I can get three of them right now," Garrus stated, "Let's say that there's nine. That enough for you, Wrex?"

Wrex said nothing, didn't even look at Garrus.

"I'm sure there'll be more than enough Geth for all of us," Shepard said, responding before Garrus tried to push the issue "Providing Ash doesn't get there first."

"She's certainly thorough," Garrus nodded, "But at least Kirrahe might slow her down, let me get a shot at Saren. I'll put fifty credits on it."

"I didn't think you were a betting man, Garrus."

"I'm not, but I figure I could break the rules just this once."

Shepard's comlink crackled and the light mood gave way to reality. "Comms check," came Kirrahe's voice, "Do you read me, Commander Shepard?"

"Loud and clear, status?"

"We're starting our push now. We'll try to make it to the AA guns, but it might be up to you to finish the job. And, Commander..." Kirrahe's voice sounded quiet, as if he was finally admitting something to himself. "If you see any way to undermine their defenses... we could definitely use the help."

"We'll do what we can," Shepard nodded, "See you on the other side."

From now there would be radio silence between the two units, at least on Shepard's end. For Ashley Williams and the Salarians who were about to throw themselves against the walls of a fortress, all Shepard could do was listen and hope.

"Shadow's on the ground," Kirrahe reported as Shepard waited for the final signal to move. "Shadow is on the ground. Chief Williams, move up with Aegohr team. Mannovai and Jaeto teams, move up! Time to get their attention!"

In the distance, gunfire began to sound out - rapid reports of small arms fire, and the heavy thump of larger batteries. Shepard nodded to his team and steeled himself.

"Showtime."

* * *

In the end, Shepard noted that Garrus did manage to pick off three Geth soldiers and it was enough to throw their rearguard into sudden disarray. The Geth has been occupying a small bunker outpost, one that Shepard assumed was there to watch over the route that they had just used to launch their attack.

Kirrahe's voice came over the communications net as Shepard and his squad secured the Geth structure. "-must have some kind of spotter or- satellite uplink! They're calling sat-strikes! Jaeto, watch for any uplinks or spotters! Chief Williams, can you see anything?"

"No!" came back Ashley's voice, harsh and loud, and Shepard was glad to hear it. "Negative! We're pinned down and cannot advance!"

Even over the com-net, Shepard could hear the explosions. Whatever was keeping them pinned down, it was producing quite the barrage.

There had to be something Shepard could do. He wouldn't let Ashley die like that. He wouldn't let her die at all.

"Tali!" Shepard called over the silence, "Geth sat-strikes, what are they and how do I stop them?"

Tali trotted over, "Geth aren't tied to their bodies, as you know, they're just platforms which they can load themselves into. They would have satellite platforms in orbit, filled with thousands of Geth minds, all devoted to analyzing trajectories for barrage fire and then transmitting that data at the speed of light. So, they don't need spotters-"

Shepard tapped his wrist and hoped Tali would understand. "Going to need you to skip the history lesson."

"Blow the transmitter. It'll be directing fire from a rearguard installation some distance from the front line..." The moonlight reflected off Tali's visor in a different way and Shepard realised she was looking around, searching. "...There! That looks like it."

Shepard turned to see what she had pointed out. It was a small, unassuming pylon on top of the bunker. He began thinking of ways that would best bring it down-

_Aw, to hell with it._

He chucked a grenade at it. The resulting explosion rained small pieces of metallic shrapnel and electronic components around them.

"That's one was to deal with it," Tali drawled.

"By far the quickest," Shepard replied, "Let's just hope I've got enough grenades. The Geth will surely provide enough targets."

* * *

Shepard kept up the pace.

He leapt up an embankment, charged down a slope and across a small inlet, smashed his way through undergrowth. He had to move fast.

Ashley was out there, with a team she had never commanded, with enough mental baggage to ground the _Normandy_. He had to trust her to see it through, and trust that Ashley would be alright.

But he couldn't. There was just too many variables. He could - _did_ - trust Ashley, but the rest of the situation? It had rankled him on the beach, frustrated him as he enjoyed Tali's nearness, and now threatened to drive him to complete distraction.

"Drones are breaking off!" Ashley's voice. "They're bugging out! Bunker up before they come back!"

Shepard paused by a small cave, waited for his team to catch up.

"Kirrahe, this is Williams! I'm down two people, we're completely exposed to that air support!"

Something dark and metallic flitted in Shepard peripheral vision. A drone, perhaps heading back to regroup. This was his chance. "Garrus, double time! With me!"

Kaidan snapped, "Where the hell are you going, Commander?"

"Lieutenant, hold this position! Taking some of the heat off Ash!"

Garrus moved with him. The Turian was fast, Shepard realised; his long, muscular limbs allowed him to keep Shepard's frenzied pace and he did it without complaining.

The two of them crested a rise and both quickly dropped to their stomachs. Shepard's lungs were burning now, his legs ached, powered combat suit or not, but he knew it was only temporary.

Shepard indicated the drones and their refueling station, "We need all of them, Garrus. I want all of them."

"One shot, many kills." Garrus raised the rifle to his eye, sighted down the scope. He went completely still.

Shepard's eyes turned on the target. They flitted about the storage tanks like cybernetic birds, hovering on retrofire jets, setting down at various pre-determined places on the station.

"Wait for it..." was all Shepard said.

There was the possibility that the drones could suddenly leave, that these drones weren't the same ones that were supporting the Geth's main defense, and that this would be wasted. That he would be wrong.

He wouldn't be.

He couldn't afford to be wrong.

"Wait for it..." Shepard repeated, letting the words crush his doubts. They had to get all of them or either themselves or Ashley would be cut down by the retaliation.

Maybe even all three of them. And then, the rest of his squad.

Then, finally, the opportunity presented itself. "Okay, _now_!"

Shepard heard Garrus squeeze the trigger and, a second later, was rewarded by the first of three fuel tanks going up in a brilliant red flare. Garrus turned quickly, before the drones could detect his position, and fired twice more. Even from their vantage point, where he was able to notice that every single drone had been swallowed up inside the inferno, Shepard could feel the heat of the blast.

Not a single drone escaped the conflagration.

Shepard slapped Garrus on the back, "Nice work, let's move!"

* * *

Kirrahe's voice crackled over the net as Shepard's team began their final push, "Air threat has not rematerialised. We may be receiving some help from Shadow."

But then that was the last thing they heard from Kirrahe for some time and, as Shepard's team pushed further and further into Saren's outside perimeter and towards the interior, the voices on the battle net grew fewer and fewer. Kirrahe's assault was growing more bloody and desperate by the second. By the time they were at the rear entrance and Tali was hacking their way inside as Garrus and Wrex laid down a fusillade of gunfire Shepard realised that he hadn't heard Ashley's voice for quite some time.

The door slid open. Kaidan poked his head in, "Clear."

"Perimeter breached, we're in," Shepard reported and he hoped that Kirrahe and Ashley were still alive to receive it.

There was certainly no response as they moved inside the facility. That left Shepard with some assurance that at least one of them was alive and that their strategy was holding.

"Garrus, point," Shepard ordered, "You've got the best eyes."

The facility had to be of Geth construction and design, it was too spartan to belong to any other sapient race. It was so empty and so barren that it was oppressive in its sterility, just walls and floor and corridors with nothing in them. Thankfully, that included little sign of any hostile activity - presumably Kirrahe was still holding his own.

Given that information, Shepard found it strange when Garrus suddenly asked, "Commander, has Kirrahe reached the interior?"

"Not as far as I'm aware. Is something wrong?"

"I... don't know," the Turian admitted. "Take a look."

Shepard did. Maybe half a dozen Salarians, in what seemed to be standard military fatigues, seemed to be milling about in the open room ahead. They were babbling away in a language that Shepard assumed to be Salarian, that his combat hardsuit translated into "It never sleeps, it calls and I must follow." And some were utterly immobile, staring vacantly ahead, as if their sight could pierce the reinforced walls of the facility.

It disconcerted Shepard when he realised they were all staring upwards, towards a single point.

Shepard hesitated for a moment and then called out to them, "Report!"

The Salarian closest to them whipped its head in their direction with remarkable speed. It twitched, spasmed, spat out a thick wad of drool and yelled something unintelligible.

And then they charged.

Shepard didn't even have time to process the reason behind their berzerk charge. He was already squeezing the trigger of his rifle, well-honed mental notches taking over his body, and his squad opened up with him. Blue Salarian blood arced and splattered over the walls, floor and ceiling as hyper-velocity rounds ripped through their uniforms. It was over in a matter of seconds.

The silence must have lasted twice as long.

"Someone mind telling me what the hell just happened?" Kaidan was the first to speak.

"Kirrahe mentioned losing some men," Shepard remembered, "But I didn't expect that."

"Did they defect?" Garrus asked.

"Why? What'd be the point?"

"It may not have been of their own free will," Liara suggested and she had paled from the slaughter. "Perhaps they were indoctrinated, as Shiala was."

"Looks like holding cells," Shepard said as they entered the space, stepping over the broken Salarian corpses, their boots becoming slick with gore.

"Prisoners, then," said Kaidan.

"Yes!" came a voice from one of the cells ahead, "Something like that! Ganto Imness, Lieutenant, Third Infiltration Regiment! So nice to hear a friendly voice!"

Shepard waved Kaidan and Tali to watch over the door they had just come through and had Garrus monitor the one that would lead deeper into the facility. He eyed the Salarian in one of the cells. "Lieutenant Imness, I'm Commander John Shepard. How'd you end up here?"

"Captured during recon. I recognise your name. A Spectre, hmm, were you sent to destroy the base?"

"Not as such."

"I see. Then, if you'll permit me to make a suggestion, you must make that your objective. There are breeding grounds here for Krogan, yes, but the indoctrination... that's a far greater threat, far more horrifying."

"I'm beginning to sense a pattern. We've encountered it before."

"I saw good people reduced to mindless husks," Imness stated, "Nothing left, as if their minds had just been scooped out. The ones who died during the experiments? They're the lucky ones. I envy them."

"What's with the experiments?" Kaidan asked, "Saren seems to know how indoctrination works. He's put some powerful people under its effects at least, why experiment on soldiers? Why keep doing it?"

"That's the thing," Imness nodded behind the transparent barrier, "I don't believe Saren understands it. He uses it as a method of control, but he seems to have been searching for its progressive effects and symptoms. His information must not be complete. There's no need for experiments if you believe your information is complete."

Despite Imness' apparent status as a prisoner, Shepard felt suspicious. Benezia had been coherent enough, and the very idea of such powerful brainwashing... "And you're fine?"

Imness hesitated for a moment then, his large dark eyes squinting as he appeared to scrutinize himself internally. "I... think so. They kept telling me 'not my time'. If it's all the same to you, and I know this is going to sound crazy Commander, perhaps I can get out of here?"

It wasn't a decision at all. They'd already killed several of them. What would one more be?

"I'll unlock your door, Lieutenant, but you're likely to get gunned down if you leave. If you can sit tight we'll have you out of here when our ship arrives. It's the best I can do."

Imness nodded, "Part of me would like to run screaming from this place, Commander. Just never looking back back and hoping to outrun anything that decides to chase me. I'll wait here. It's a better chance than I had before you showed up. Thank you, Commander, and good luck. You'll need it."

That last part was more ominous than Shepard would have liked.

"What could drive Saren to do this?" Liara asked quietly, her eyes fixed on a third cell - this one packed with another half a dozen Salarians, all babbling, drooling, staring up through the ceiling at something Shepard could not see but now had the strangest feeling he knew what it was.

He hoped he was wrong.

"Are they even aware of us?" Tali wondered. She rapped her fist against the glass before Shepard could tell her not to, but the soldiers inside didn't respond.

"If we destroy this place," Liara was saying, "We will be killing them. Is that right? Even if they are what they are? We should let them out."

"Commander," Garrus spoke up, "They'll be a danger to themselves. And us."

"Not to mention Lieutenant Imness," Kaidan put in.

"I don't think so," Liara said and her gaze hadn't wavered, she was always the scientist. "I don't think they can work a door. There's just nothing there."

Shepard just shook his head. "We've got to give them the chance. Set the door to open remotely once we're out of the room. Then they're only a threat to themselves."

They left quickly, leaving the test subjects behind them in their own private hell. Shepard half-expected to hear joyful shouts and ecstatic cries or the thump-clang of insane Salarian fists on the door behind them when Tali announced that the cell door had been opened.

He heard nothing.

* * *

A large, particularly leathery looking Krogan twisted towards the sound of the door opening. "Intruders!" he barked, "Get the guards! They must not interrupt my work!"

The work in question was immediately obvious to Shepard. There were tanks, filled with some sort of thick, opaque fluid, lining the walls. And, inside them, Shepard thought he could see things moving. Twitching.

Alarms began to sound inside the facility. A squad of Geth troopers burst into the room with implacable precision. The briefest of lulls and then the squad plunged back into the storm.

And Wrex most of all. He was clearing a path towards the closest Krogan.

Knocking aside his opponents rifle, Wrex stepped inside his enemy's guard and hammered his fists against their face. The leathery Krogan fell back under Wrex's onslaught before Wrex brutally shot his opposite number in the face. A second was already on him, but Shepard lost sight of Wrex in the melee as a wave of Husks entered the fray.

And then, just like that, it was over. Shepard planted a shot from his pistol in the head of the final Husk, just to be sure, when he noticed that Wrex was standing out by himself, utterly immobile, and staring down towards two particular bodies on the floor.

"He's not curing them..." Wrex said quietly, staring with wide eyes at the pair of dead Krogan on the floor.

And he was right. Shepard could see it now, his eyes drawn down to the pair of corpses on the floor, found himself remembering Saren's enforcer that they had encountered as far back as Therum. Despite the damage that Wrex had done, Shepard could still perceive the remarkable similarities. Thick, leathery yellow-brown skin. A deep grey series of head plates. Yellow eyes that now saw nothing at all.

They were identical.

"He's... _cloning_ them."

Shepard could barely notice it but Wrex was trembling. Maybe he had never stopped since the confrontation on the beach.

"Wrex..." Shepard said, but Wrex was somewhere else now and he didn't seem to hear him. "Wrex!"

And then, Wrex_ roared_. He threw his head back, bared his teeth and uttered such a noise that it caused Shepard to flinch. In a second he was gone, charging out of the room, leaving the rest of the unit behind.

It took them all a moment to recover.

"Damnit!" Shepard snarled, "Keep up with him!"


	40. Part VII: Tempest, Ch IV: Darkness Colli

**Chapter IV - Darkness Collides**

Wrex left a trail of destruction in his wake. It was easy enough to follow the sounds of Wrex's carnage, and the trail of brutalized Geth that lay cast aside and strewn about the squad's feet. Some of those Geth had been dismembered.

There was no doubt about it. As Ashley would say, Wrex was _pissed_.

They caught up to him just in time to see Wrex clothes-line a Geth Destroyer as it rounded a corner, tearing the cranial case free in a shower of sparks.

"Wrex!" called Shepard, "Wrex!"

He wasn't sure if Wrex heard him over the sounds of carnage. He didn't seem to. After 'subduing' two more Geth, the Krogan slammed his fist into a door control pad. He wrenched the door aside and then was gone, out into the open, across a walkway gantry that left him very exposed. Bullets were pinging off the walkway and off the Krogan's formidable suit of armor - his kinetic barriers had depleted at some point - as Wrex sprinted across, paying no heed.

"He's going to get himself killed at this rate!" Garrus said in exasperation, "Why doesn't he just slow down for a minute?"

"He'll have to burn himself out," Shepard replied, "Get ready, we're going after him. Keep your heads down and get across."

Shepard consulted his on-board map, he was that little bit relieved to notice that Wrex remembered enough to head in approximately the right direction. Then, he took a breath and ran for it.

The Geth, from whatever vantage point Saren's fortress had allowed them, tracked him and opened fire almost immediately. Shepard tried not to flinch against the projectiles that peppered the air around him, bounced off the gantry below him, rippled off his kinetic barriers. Halfway across he stopped, sprayed a burst from his assault rifle to cover for his team, and kept moving.

The door into the next section of the fortress had been similarly mauled and torn open. Inside there seemed to be little more than an elevator (locked), a desk (overturned) and Wrex. He had nowhere to go and Shepard hoped that might calm him a little.

Of course, there was a phrase about backing an animal into a corner.

Shepard entered first, keeping his squad just inside the door. "Wrex?" he asked slowly. The Krogan was looking away from him and that made it that much harder to judge him.

"Found this," A deep, guttural voice emanated from somewhere in the room ahead. It almost surprised Shepard to hear Wrex speak once again. The now-calmer Krogan turned towards the squad and suddenly tossed an Asari to the ground. She took a step away from Wrex, stumbling, and regarded Shepard warily, seeming to understand that Shepard was the one in charge. The fact that she was still in one piece seemed remarkable to Shepard.

"This job isn't worth dying over..." she seemed to say to herself, "Or worse!"

"Worse than death?" Garrus nodded, "Indoctrination, knew it."

She looked at Garrus and then at Shepard curiously, "You've heard of it? My name is Rana Thanoptis, I'm a neurospecialist. Listen though, sooner or later though, Saren'll want to dissect my brain too! It doesn't just affect the prisoners!"

"Yeah, we ran into them, too." Shepard explained, "Neurospecialist... Odd, I figured you for a geneticist. This whole place seems to be more like some sort of breeding ground."

"Not this level," Rana said quickly, sparing a pointed look at Wrex. "We're studying Sovereign's unique properties. Well, I think that's where it comes from. Saren isn't exactly forthcoming."

Garrus seemed incredulous. His mandibles twitched back and forth before he stepped forward, close to Shepard's back, and asked, "You helped him without even knowing the specific why?"

"It's not like I had the option of negotiating!" Rana shot back, "This position is a little more... permanent than I expected, do you follow? Listen, I don't know why you're here and I'm in no hurry to have my brain cut out and examined, so how about we cut a deal? The elevator behind me goes to Saren's private lab. I can get you in, full access, all of Saren's confidential information." She looked at the squad hopefully, "Are we good? Can I go?"

Shepard nodded, "You want to know why we're here? We're going to send this place on a twenty kiloton highway straight to hell. You might want to start running."

Whatever Rana had thought she had expected, Shepard was sure that his answer was not anything she had considered. Rana choked out a barely audible "What? You can't-" and then she was running.

Shepard turned to Wrex, the massive Krogan had stopped shaking at least. "You okay, Wrex?"

"Never been better, Shepard," he rumbled. "Just had to get the blood rage out of my system. I still want Saren's head."

"And you can still have it." Shepard pointed to the door that Rana had unlocked, "Maybe we'll find him napping."

Wrex grunted, "Good. Better than he deserves."

"You know, I almost expected her to pull a gun," Garrus remarked as they stepped into the elevator.

Tali seemed to agree, "With the way everyone else is on Virmire, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Still, I'd rather not have to kill a receptionist."

* * *

The elevator was a very short trip. The doors opened into an odd room, a room made from stone, with metal gratings for the floor. A ramp led down to what Shepard guessed was a second level, but from his perspective it seemed just as bare as the level they were now on.

This place, it didn't seem to be anything like a lab at all. It resembled something closer to a private sanctum.

And it was old. It had to be older, far older, than the rest of the complex.

"Fan out," Shepard ordered, "There doesn't seem to be much here, but that just means what little we can find is that bit more vital."

"Unless Thanoptis lied to us," Garrus remarked.

"Well, good luck to her, then. There's nothing we can do about that now."

But there was very little that was worth uncovering, it seemed. Saren's sanctum was seemingly just as uninviting as the man himself. The only indication that someone spent any time in the room was a small shelf, stacked with a variety of items in an orderly fashion.

Garrus held up what seemed to be a shard of Turian battleplate, he read the nametag aloud: "Desolas Arterius." He looked back down at the shelf, indicated a stack of papers. "Says here he was KIA 2157. Strange, I didn't know Saren had a brother."

There was that date again.

"2157," Shepard nodded, "the First Contact War, figures. That might just explain the animosity. Watch the door, Garrus, I'm heading down to the second level. Kaidan, Tali, with me."

The First Contact War truly had sent ripples throughout the galaxy. He wondered how Ashley would react. Would she hate Saren more? Or would she understand that he was a creation of the war, just as she was?

The three of them went down the ramp and came across the reason why Saren had his sanctum here. Made of stone, like the rest of the room, it was almost like some sort of plinth, or perhaps an altar, and it was dominated by a Prothean Beacon.

"Another Beacon?" Kaidan asked, "Where did he find this one? And what's it doing here?"

"Better yet, why didn't he destroy this one?" Tali asked.

"I don't know," Shepard admitted, taking a single step towards the softly glowing device. "Let's find out."

He heard Tali take a step behind him, felt her reach out to touch his shoulder. "You sure about this, Commander?"

Kaidan nodded, "Have to say I share her concerns, sir. The last one knocked you on your ass."

"No. Right, so, if the Cipher doesn't work then I'll be in a lot of trouble. Here goes nothing."

Shepard took a small series of steps towards the Prothean device. The beacon ensnared Shepard, wrenched him into the air with an invisible hand on his spine, as it had done on Eden Prime.

This time, however, there was no ancient screaming. There was only a message there, a warning against an ancient and inexorable enemy. An enemy who destroyed entire worlds, devoured entire species, an enemy whose hunger was beyond comprehension or reason, whose power seemed infinite. And a warning against their inevitable return, a secret hope to give whoever followed in the ashes of the Protheans a fighting chance against the enemy who seemed to be the very force of entropic inevitability itself. The terrible loss of a million lifetimes and the hope for a million more. Fear. Pain. Sorrow. Loss.

And Shepard _understood_.

There was a momentary flash of something dark and terrible and ancient. Something that was now, in the bizarre vision, aware of him. Shepard locked eyes with it (or, perhaps, was drawn to it and its impossible malevolence), felt it scrutinize him for the briefest of moments, and then vanish completely as the Beacon powered down.

Shepard's breathing was loud and hard, his head pulsed but it wasn't as painful as he remembered. His gasps for air seemed far too loud, however, and that was when Shepard realized that everything was silent. Dark too, the Beacon must have shorted something out. But at least, this time, it hadn't exploded.

And the Cipher had worked! It had worked!

He was just about to tell Tali and Kaidan of what he had witnessed, seen, felt and _known_ when a voice rang out in the darkness.

"Shepard?" Garrus' voice, sounding oddly disconcerted, from the platform above broke the silence. "I think we've got a situation here."

Shepard instantly recognized the unmistakable silhouette of Saren's warship, Sovereign. Now, hanging in the suffocating darkness, rendered in blood red light, with a variety of 'legs' splayed out behind its central shell, it even more than usual resembled a madman's nightmare interpretation of a mollusc. What was this, a technical readout?

But those legs. They were moving in a rhythm, as if it were...

..._breathing_.

**"YOU ARE NOT SAREN."** The voice boomed with the intonation of a dead god, echoing in the small chamber to form a terrifying cacophony. It was a voice that took the ancient fear-causing parts of Shepard's brain and squeezed them, making him want to run and hide, pull the very ground over himself to escape it. It was a voice that Shepard could feel echoing inside of him. It was a voice that had ended worlds. It was a voice that inspired worship of the most dreadful kind and Shepard finally understood why the Geth had built the shrine on Feros.

"What is this?" asked Garrus, "Some sort of VI?"

A sense of terrifying realization crawled up Shepard's spine and snatched his mind into a vice grip, freezing all thoughts except one.

"No," whispered Shepard, "This isn't a VI. This is-"

**"RUDIMENTARY CREATURES OF BLOOD AND FLESH, YOU TOUCH MY MIND, FUMBLING IN IGNORANCE, INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING. THERE IS A REALM OF EXISTENCE SO FAR BEYOND YOUR OWN YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE IT. I... AM BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION. I... AM SOVEREIGN."**

And Shepard finally gave voice to the fear he had felt ever since learning of Sovereign. Ever since seeing it for the first time on Eden Prime. "Sovereign's not some Reaper ship Saren found! _It's an actual Reaper_!"

**"'REAPER.' A LABEL CREATED BY THE PROTHEANS, TO GIVE VOICE TO THEIR DESTRUCTION. IN THE END, WHAT THEY CHOSE TO CALL US IS IRRELEVANT. WE SIMPLY... ARE. ORGANIC LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A GENETIC MUTATION, AN ACCIDENT. YOUR LIVES ARE MEASURED IN YEARS AND DECADES, YOU WITHER AND DIE. WE ARE ETERNAL, THE PINNACLE OF EVOLUTION AND EXISTENCE. BEFORE US, YOU ARE NOTHING. YOUR EXTINCTION IS INEVITABLE. WE ARE THE END OF EVERYTHING."**

"Like hell!"

**"CONFIDENCE BORN IN IGNORANCE, THE CYCLE CANNOT BE BROKEN. THE PATTERN HAS REPEATED ITSELF MORE TIMES THAN YOU CAN FATHOM. ORGANIC CIVILIZATIONS RISE, EVOLVE, ADVANCE AND AT THE APEX OF THEIR GLORY, THEY ARE EXTINGUISHED."**

Liara spluttered out, "What are you talking about? What cycle?"

**"THE PROTHEANS WERE NOT THE FIRST, THEY DID NOT CREATE THE 'CITADEL', THEY DID NOT FORGE THE 'MASS RELAYS', THEY MERELY FOUND THEM. THE LEGACY OF MY KIND."**

"Your legacy..." muttered Shepard, and as Sovereign replied, Shepard could already feel the pieces falling into place inside his head.

**"YOUR CIVILIZATION IS BASED ON THE TECHNOLOGY OF THE MASS RELAYS, OUR TECHNOLOGY. BY USING IT, YOUR SOCIETY DEVELOPS ALONG THE PATHS WE DESIRE. WE IMPOSE ORDER ON THE CHAOS OF ORGANIC EVOLUTION. YOU EXIST BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT, AND YOU WILL END, BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT."**

"We?" Shepard scoffed, and tried to appear braver than he felt. "I only see one of you. I don't care how powerful you are, you can't take on the whole galaxy by yourself."

**"WE ARE LEGION. THE TIME OF OUR RETURN IS COMING. OUR NUMBERS WILL DARKEN THE SKY OF EVERY WORLD. MY KIND TRANSCENDS YOUR VERY UNDERSTANDING, WE ARE EACH A NATION, INDEPENDENT, FREE OF ALL WEAKNESS. YOU CANNOT EVEN GRASP THE NATURE OF OUR EXISTENCE. WE HAVE NO BEGINNING. WE HAVE NO END. WE ARE INFINITE. MILLIONS OF YEARS AFTER YOUR CIVILIZATION HAD BEEN ERADICATED AND FORGOTTEN... WE WILL ENDURE."**

"Good thing that I don't need to grasp the nature of your existence to kill you."

**"YOUR WORDS ARE AS EMPTY AS YOUR FUTURE,"** Sovereign's voice intoned with a sense of definite finality, **"I AM THE VANGUARD OF YOUR DESTRUCTION, THIS EXCHANGE... IS OVER."**

Something - possibly the communications array - exploded, shattering the panoramic windows and throwing shards of glass through the air. Instinctively, despite the helmet, Shepard covered his eyes.

When he moved his arm away, Sovereign was gone. The communications array silent and dead.

_And so are we..._

"Commander?" Joker's unusually frantic voice was shouting in his ear, "We've got trouble! That ship, Sovereign? It's moving! I don't know what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half! It's coming your way, and it's coming _hard_! You really need to wrap things up in there, like, fast! Five minutes ago fast!"

"How fast, Joker?" Shepard paced, "How much time have we got?"

"I- I-" Joker spluttered for a few more seconds before repeating, "_Fast_!"

"Be faster! We need that nuke on station, now!" barked Shepard as he shut down the link. Joker was the best pilot in the fleet, now he'd get the chance to prove it.

"We are out of time," Shepard said to his team, checked his rifle. "We need to move, and we need to move now! Let's blow this place to hell!"


	41. Part VII: Tempest, Ch V: Chaos Prayer

**Chapter V - Chaos Prayer**

Back outside, amongst the threateningly sterile battlements of Saren's fortress, they advanced. It was a slow process, but, in slow and precise ranged combat, Garrus held the advantage.

"So, Garrus!" Wrex called as Garrus knocked down two more Geth platforms, "Does this beat C-Sec?"

A lull ensued. "Hunting a rogue Spectre across the galaxy, facing down total annihilation?" Garrus replied, examining his heat sinks. He snapped his rifle closed and said with a dangerous smirk and a nod: "Yeah, I'd say this beats C-Sec."

Wrex laughed, "Good. Maybe there's hope for you yet, Turian."

Shepard took the moment of respite to catch his breath - ever since the conversation with Sovereign his lungs had felt short of it. "Final stretch, ladies and gentlemen. Let's not get sloppy now. We-" His communications link crackled suddenly, on the frequency that Kirrahe was making use of.

Ashley's voice spoke suddenly into his ear. "Commander!" The relief was almost palpable. "You dropped out of contact! We've gotten inside the walls but we've taken heavy casualties. Final tower is down, The _Normandy_ should be able to make it in, but there's some huge Geth watching the crash site - they must've figured out what we're trying to do!"

"We're almost there. We'll clear it, see you on the other side!"

* * *

The hulking humanoid figure, much like the regular Geth who swarmed around its feet in profile but covered in thick armor plates, had to be at least twelve feet in height, with a large, multi-barelled weapon in its grip. He'd seen the evidence of this variant of Geth before, on Feros, where he had been amazed by the size of its footprints. Tali had called it a Geth Prime, she had called it the most intelligent and the deadliest Geth platform.

Advancing on it slowly, Shepard could certainly see why.

The Geth Prime swung its huge weapon, one that Shepard now realised was a rocket launcher, in the squad's direction.

Shepard yelled, "Everyone, take cover!"

He was either just quick enough or a second too slow, Shepard could not tell, as the explosion slammed him down to the ground, onto his side. He heard his team grunt, yell and shout as they too were knocked aside.

He forced himself to his feet, before the Prime could finish him off, scrabbling across the ground for a few moments on his hands and knees, and hoped the rest of his squad were able to do the same. The Prime's gun tracked him as he ran, shells blasting huge chunks out of the stones beneath his feet.

"We need the Mako to take that thing out!" From somewhere else Kaidan was trying to yell over the sound of the Prime's weaponry, "It's too heavily shielded!"

"If we don't take it out now then we've come all this way for nothing!" Shepard replied, "We can't bring the _Normandy_ in while it is operational! That launcher could hole the frigate's plating!"

"Small arms fire will not be enough to crack its plating, Shepard!" Tali called from somewhere.

"Every enemy has a weakness!"

And all Geth had the same one. A big, glowing bulls-eye.

"Aim for its eye!" Shepard yelled again, "Take it out! Blind it!"

His whole team opened up with their weapons. Garrus would be able to take the Geth's eye, but there wouldn't nearly be enough firepower in his single rifle to knock through the Prime's kinetic barriers.

The Prime returned fire as well, not even appearing to notice the incoming fire from Shepard's team. Except for the blue halo of flaring kinetic barriers, Shepard was almost unsure if they were even hitting it. The Prime leveled its rocket launcher once again.

"Incoming!" Shepard barked, "Hit the deck!"

The rocket streaked out on a fiery plume, exploding near Tali, Liara and Kaidan's position. The three of them darted out into the open, Kaidan spraying suppressive fire, but the Prime was beyond such trivialities. It was simply too big to be suppressed.

And the Prime wasn't interested in Kaidan, it was tracking someone in particular. Shepard knew, with rising horror, that it was Tali.

The Prime was firing before they were even close to cover. He saw a round clip Liara in the leg, heard her cry out, and watch as both she and Tali dove behind some sort of sealed container.

Before the Prime could advance upon them, sparks were flying from its armor plating and Shepard seized his chance.

"There! Now, Garrus!"

A sharp crack rang out and a great gouge appeared on the Prime's cranial casing. It twisted inhumanly fast, seeming to realise that the sniper was now the greatest threat.

Impossibly, it brought its considerable forearm up to deflect the next shot, but the impact knocked the limb out of the firing line and Garrus still had one more shot in his heat sinks.

The third shot blasted its cyclopean eye out the back of its head, trailing wires like malignant tentacles.

The Prime stumbled, weapon firing wildly, but its aim was off now - incredibly off - and Shepard was going to take his chance to put it down for good.

"Wrex, let's go!"

Wrex roared and rose up after him.

Evidently the Prime had other ways to sense their presence than its primary eye. It sprayed fire now at Wrex and Shepard as they charged. Shepard felt the disturbing reality of an impact on his chest and forehead, but his kinetic barriers held against the sporadic fire.

How many times had he cheated death in his lifetime?

The two of them, Krogan and Human, were close enough now, close enough to put the Prime out of action with their combat shotguns.

But they weren't aiming at the Prime's head. Even at this range, the thick cranial armor would be too much of an obstacle to crack.

Their aim was low.

Shepard rapidly pulled the trigger on his shotgun at point blank range, cracking through the weakened kinetic barriers and severing the synthetic's legs at the ankle joint.

The Geth stumbled, balanced itself out with its weapon and a hand, and continued to spray fire.

Dozens of the rounds bounced off Shepard's kinetic barriers in quick succession, then they broke through. An alarm sounded in Shepard's ear and he felt the impacts almost rocking him off his feet, at least one penetrated his armor and bit into his flesh but he was this close now - so close - and adrenaline blotted the pain away.

Shepard jumped back, spraying his assault rifle wildly. He simply could not miss, not at this range. "Grenades! Grenades! Use them if you've got them!"

They detonated one after the after, a continual stream of thrown explosions, an unending storm of smoke, heat and shrapnel. And the Geth Prime was weathering it, weathering it with dents and scorched plating, but weathering it fine all the same.

That was until one finally landed in just the right, precise location, the gorget plating beneath its neck, and took the Geth Prime's head clean off. The huge construct collapsed forward onto its chest and finally went still.

It took a few seconds of stunned almost-disbelief but Shepard finally laughed and thumped Wrex on the arm. "Shepard to _Normandy_, begin your final approach! LZ is clear, I repeat, LZ is clear!" He reached up and, despite the fact that they were still in a warzone, removed his helmet, sucking in a long breath of salty air.

"Did you see that? Did you see that!" Garrus whooped, pumped his fist in the air. "Took that thing's head right off!"

"We'll split that one, Vakarian. We both know you're only good at hitting stationary objects."

Shepard smiled, "Is everyone alright? Report in."

"Alenko here, Liara's hit bad, sir. I've applied medi-gel, but we should really get her onto the _Normandy_."

"Understood. She'll have priority, and Tali?"

Tali's voice came back instead of Kaidan's, "I think I'm just going to... sit for a bit. Keelah."

"Think she took a nasty fall, sir, head first when that rocket went off. A bit disorientated but all right."

Again, Shepard let a peal of laughter escape. "Good! You did well, all of you. I'm going to petition the Council to see if they can hand out some commendations. A whole bucket of them."

"Bringing in Saren's enough for me," Garrus replied.

"Then we're going to have a problem there, Vakarian." Wrex leveled a powerful finger at the Turian, "I've still got a head to claim."

"Hey, I never said I wanted him alive."

Shepard let out a long, exhausted sigh, and sat down on one of the many rectangular, glass-fronted containers that littered the ground. His booted feet slipped on the stones, and it was then that Shepard noticed that something was leaking from the pod.

A thick, clear liquid was leaking from somewhere inside. Going against his better judgement, Shepard looked through the glass panel.

Inside the pod he could see a Krogan. Identical in appearance to the others they had seen throughout the complex. Whether it was asleep or dead, he could not tell. But here it was, the possible salvation of Wrex's species. But what salvation could there be in an identical identity? In complete and total homogeneity? In being the footsoldiers of a man serving dark stellar gods?

None of it changed the fact that he was going to kill them all, however. He was going to end their lives because they had the temerity to be cloned by a madman.

He tried not to think about it.

Tali was crossing the plaza now, towards him. She seemed unhurt but Shepard could quickly see why Kaidan believed she had fallen head first - a series of thin, rather intricate seeming cracks, ran down her visor.

"Hey," Shepard smiled amidst the broken debris, "You ok?"

"I'm... I'm alright," Tali replied, in a bit of a daze. "I hit the ground... and then..." She paused, "I think my face hit my visor?" she finished, lamely.

"Well, we'll have enough time to rest once we're gone from here. I reckon this will put Saren on the backfoot for a while. I could use another trip through the Wards."

The _Normandy_ screamed in from over the water, its engines emitting a high-pitched whine. The frigate came in low and hard and, incredibly, seemed to stop instantaneously, hovering above their heads.

"Good to see you, Joker!" Shepard called.

"Hah, like I'd miss this party! We're going to give Saren one hell of a going away present! Boom! How's he going to like those apples? Opening the bay doors now, let's get this fuse lit!"

Joker was certainly enthusiastic about it.

The cargo bay hatch slid open and four members of the_ Normandy's_ crew hefted the Salarian drive core-turned-impromptu nuclear device out onto the stonework. It was an unimpressive looking thing, a hemispherical device that didn't seem to possess anything that could be considered threatening.

Still, appearances could be deceiving and Shepard hoped they didn't drop it.

The moment they had placed the bomb in the exact location, Shepard pointed Liara out to two crewmembers, "Get her on the ship, now!" He toggled the secure link to Kirrahe's teams, "This is Shadow Team. Everything's in place and we're prepping for extraction. Withdraw!"

Kirrahe's response flicked back as affirmative.

Shepard turned to Kaidan, "Lieutenant, get to work on that bomb. Someone try and raise that Salarian, Ganto Imness. I gave him my word we'd get him out of here. The rest of you, stay sharp. The Geth'll surely be here any second."

But then they didn't come.

All that came was Kirrahe and less than half a dozen Salarians, all wounded and bleeding. One of them was Imness, the prisoner, supported by another Salarian. But there was no sign of Ashley's combat armor. Shepard confronted them immediately, a sudden chill running down his spine: "Captain! What the hell- Where's Williams?"

Kirrahe's large eyes went wider still and, despite the wound in his chest, turned to look behind himself. "She was just- She said she was right behind us!"

Shepard activated the general broadcast frequency, throwing caution to the wind. "Chief? Where the hell are you? We're ready to go! Get your ass to the rendezvous point!"

"We can't!" snapped Ashley and there was something Shepard had never heard in her voice - desperation. "We're pinned down on the AA tower! We're going to need some help or we'll never make it!"

"But Kirrahe-"

"Aegohr and I drew fire to get them out of here! Then the Geth brought up more units and we're goddamned pinned! I think they're trying to bring the tower back online!"

"We're on our way!" Shepard replied instantly and turned to Kaidan, "Lieutenant, can you handle things here?"

He nodded firmly, "I'll have the bomb set and ready, sir. Go get her."

He remembered the words, everything that he had said about his crew being expendable but he would not, could not, abandon Ashley.

"Chief, I'm on my way. Hold tight!"

* * *

Shepard estimated that they were halfway there when the familiar wasp-like shape of a Geth dropship hummed overhead, and the chill in Shepard's gut told him, more than visual estimation, more than anything else, that it was heading in the direction of the bomb site.

"Heads up, Lieutenant!" Shepard barked into the com-link, "You've get a Geth dropship inbound!"

"It's already here!" came back Kaidan's response, and there was the telltale sounds of weapons fire in the background. "We've got Geth pouring out all over the bomb site!"

"You have to hold them, Lieutenant! Just for a few-"

"Negative, sir! There's too many! I don't think we can hold them off! We have to set the bomb, now!"

"Kaidan!" snarled Shepard, that dangerous tone edging into his voice, "I order you not to arm the warhead!"

Garrus turned to face Shepard, "Shepard! The mission-"

"Damn the mission, Garrus! I'm not going to let Ashley die!"

"You'll jeopardize our entire mission! We must destroy this facility!"

"We are not leaving her behind, Garrus!" Shepard barked, and his voice would brook no argument. "We have time! Fall in!"

Shepard was moving towards the AA tower, barely two steps towards it, when he heard Kaidan grunt over the link. Shepard heard him spit something up against the inside of his helmet. "Fuck," Kaidan gasped out, "I'm hit. There... it's done."

"What the hell are you doing, Alenko?"

"Just... making sure... the bomb goes off." His breaths were coming in ragged gasps, "No matter what. I've given you time! Go get Williams," he gasped out, "And get the hell out of here!"

"Fuck that!" growled Ashley, "We can handle ourselves! We came here to turn this place into a crater, we all knew the risks! Someone has to keep those AA guns from firing!"

Kaidan was still trying to talk. "With all due respect-"

"Why is it when someone says 'With all due respect' they really mean 'kiss my ass'?" Ashley shouted over the link. "You're the officer, LT, that's the way it has to be! Commander, go back and make sure that bomb goes off!"

_No._

_There has to be a way_, Shepard thought, his mind working hard, working through all possibilities. He could split his team, but that plan died quickly. If they couldn't reach the rendezvous point in time then he'd lose more than just Ashley. And without his squad he may not be able to prevent the Geth from disarming the bomb, and that would make everything for naught. But the bomb was set, a timed detonation that'd go off regardless - surely the _Normandy_ could reach the top of the AA tower and they could evacuate from there... But if the _Normandy_ couldn't...

_No._ There was only once choice Shepard could make.

* * *

It was done, just like that. Shepard had made a choice.

Anger and bitterness and self-loathing welled up inside him and he wanted to scream.

Damn Saren for having his base here!

Damn Kirrahe for coming up with the plan!

Damn_ himself_ for making this decision!

But there was nothing that could be done now. The choice was made and he would survive while another friend would die. Like Akuze, like Mindoir, and he would have to shoulder the guilt.

But this was still different. This was different because he had practically pulled the trigger.

Because there was no other way. None of it, however, dispelled the madness that felt as if it was crawling up his spine.

Shepard rounded the corner and locked his eyes on the person he had decided to save.

Kaidan lay against the hemispherical bomb, hand over a wound in his side, the armored limb covered in red blood. The Geth were striding towards him, but not firing, perhaps too afraid of hitting the makeshift explosive device. But Kaidan was firing, and the bursts from the assault rifle he cradled were causing the Geth to seek cover instead of advancing. The rest of the_ Normandy's_ ground team were dead, lying in pools of their own blood.

More dead. Shepard couldn't even remember their names.

Shepard and his squad hit the flank of the Geth advance. Shepard fell upon them with a terrible fury and the Geth just melted away before him and his squad. A dark blur streaked across the sky and split the Geth dropship in two; fire support from the _Normandy's_ torpedo battery.

Kaidan was incredulous, words slurred and difficult, as Shepard extended his hand to help him up, "Commander- what the hell are you- I told you to-!"

Shepard didn't have the chance to reply. When he heard a door open, he turned towards it. He hoped for it to be - wanted it to be - Ashley Williams, but it wasn't Ashley. Knew it could never have been Ashley.

He knew who the figure was, even if he hadn't met them.

It wasn't a Geth at all. The newcomer transfixed Shepard with a hateful glare. It was Saren.


	42. Part VII: Tempest, Ch VI: Reverse Sight

**Chapter VI - Reverse Sight  
**

Wrex roared his challenge, and charged.

For a few seconds it looked almost as if Wrex would simply run over Saren. That was until Saren raised a hand, the limb surrounded by the subtle corona of a biotic. Saren threw Wrex into the air, and then brought him down again. Wrex did not rise.

Garrus went next, fists out. Saren sidestepped Garrus' over-eager blows, yanked the younger Turian's arm behind his back and even at that distance, Shepard heard something pop out of its socket. Garrus went down, howling.

Saren's gun blasted away at Shepard. The human felt himself rock back on his heels from the multiple impacts, his kinetic barriers flaring brightly. Saren fired as he closed, and then cast his firearm away. He struck out at Shepard, who dodged.

Shepard's launched a punch with his right arm, felt it connect. But it was all wrong and Shepard only narrowly avoided breaking his own wrist.

Saren grabbed at Shepard's extended limb, hauled it out and to the side and slammed his elbow into Shepard's solar plexus. The blow was strong enough that Shepard felt it through his hardened combat suit. The next blow never came and Shepard found himself abruptly released, stumbling back from his opponent.

"You are outclassed, Commander John Shepard, as are your people," said Saren, "But I admire your resolve. Leave now and I'll let you all escape with your lives."

"You know I can't do that. Besides, I'm not the one running. I stopped you on Noveria and Feros, I'd almost guess that you were afraid. What's wrong, were you afraid to do your own dirty work? I've been waiting to do this since Eden Prime, all you had to do was oblige me."

"Empty bluster. Shepard, I expected better from Anderson's protege. So be it."

The Turian former Spectre and now servant of the Reapers closed the gap in a few quick, long strides. Shepard battered aside a pair of blows but Saren twisted and something hard suddenly met the side of Shepard's skull, right near his temple. Stars danced in front of his vision and Shepard forced himself to blink rapidly in an effort to clear them. Without vision he was as good as dead.

Shepard felt Saren's leg lashing out to sweep his legs out from under him and found himself unable to evade. He fell onto his side and a bright bolt of pain seared up his shoulder. His head stopped spinning long enough for him to make out Saren bringing his armored foot back.

"You have to work for revenge, Shepard." snarled Saren, his boot catching Shepard in the stomach. He tasted blood. "Did you think this would be easy?"

Shepard felt, rather than saw, the next kick coming and he took it. This time, however, he wrapped himself around Saren's foot. Saren tried to twist out of it, but, despite the pain in his chest, stomach and shoulder, Shepard pulled.

Saren went down.

The two climbed to their feet at the same time, and they circled each other warily.

"I applaud you, Shepard." Saren began, "My Geth were utterly convinced that the Salarians were the real threat. An impressive diversion. Of course, it was all for nothing. I can not let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's really at stake!"

"Why the hell are you doing this, Saren?"

"You've seen the vision from the beacon, Shepard." Saren pointed with a talon as they circled, "You, of all people, should understand what the Reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped. Do not mire yourself in pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms. The Protheans tried to fight, and they were utterly destroyed. Trillions dead. But..." Saren's talon was now raised in a thoughtful gesture, "What if they had bowed before the invaders? Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?"

Behind Saren, Shepard could see Garrus begin to move. He just had to keep the bastard talking.

"You're being a fool, Saren! The Reapers will - kill - everyone! I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees!"

Saren sighed, "Now you see why I never came forward with this to the Council. We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We fight, even when we know we can not win. Sovereign is a machine, it thinks like a machine - if we work with the Reapers, make ourselves useful, think about how many lives could be spared!" It sounded as if Saren was trying to convince himself as well as Shepard.

"Once I understood this, I joined Sovereign, though I was aware of the... dangers. I had hoped this facility could protect me."

"Indoctrination," Shepard nodded, "You're afraid Sovereign is influencing you, controlling your thoughts, just like everyone else!"

Saren gave a small nod, "Yes, but I've studied Sovereign's effects on sapient minds. The more control Sovereign exerts the less capable the subject becomes. That," Saren raised a finger, "is my saving grace. Sovereign needs me to find the Conduit, my mind is still my own, for now."

"If Sovereign is relying upon you to find the Conduit, then stop this! We can find a way to stop them!"

"It is inevitable, Shepard!" snarled Saren, "The Reapers will return! The Conduit is the key to our salvation. Sovereign needs me to find it. It is the only reason I have not been indoctrinated! If I do not find it, someone else will - it is inevitable!"

But the words Saren was speaking were the complete opposite of rational reason. "You already are!" yelled Shepard, "You don't even realise it!"

"No!" Saren roared, and he was suddenly moving. "Sovereign promised me, promised us all, a reprieve from the inevitable! This is my only hope!"

A backhand blow from Saren sent Shepard stumbling, another punch from Saren took Shepard in the shoulder, pain flared through the joint, and Shepard's rifle clattered to the ground, his whole arm suddenly numb. It was all the chance that Saren needed. With a bestial snarl, the Turian wrapped a hand around Shepard's throat and hauled him into the air. "You would undo my work, Shepard," growled Saren, "And for that you must die."

Shepard's lungs struggled for oxygen. His feet struggled to find some purchase on the water-slick ground. Saren slowly, gradually, intensified his grip. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, and Shepard saw nothing in Saren's baleful black eyes. Saren's face was completely impassive as he strangled Shepard to death. Shepard's good arm struck Saren weakly on the head and shoulders, but the Turian didn't even seem to acknowledge the blows. Now, with his arm down by his hip, Shepard scrabbled for something - anything - he could use.

He found something.

Shepard shot Saren in the stomach.

At such intimate range, Saren's kinetic barriers were unable to stop the projectile from tearing through his armor and into his flesh. However, Saren made no sound and simply cast Shepard aside - how much of that was Saren's own endurance, how much of it was Sovereign's influence? Shepard rolled for a few meters and tried to push himself to his feet. His oxygen deprived lungs couldn't do so, and Shepard was left on his hands and knees.

"This has been an interesting diversion, Shepard," growled Saren, holding one hand to the wound in his abdomen. "But I do not have time for this."

Shepard gasped out, lack of oxygen making his words and aim worsen. He couldn't keep his pistol steady. "I will kill you, Saren. Make time for that."

"I have no doubt that you would," Saren smiled, a shark's predatory grin, as a Geth dropshop arrived overhead. A blue light appeared around Saren's form. "I imagine that we will meet again, Shepard. Give my regards to Captain Anderson."

Something stirred in the corner of Shepard's vision. Garrus, cradling his sniper rifle in the crook of his good arm.

Shepard could see Garrus aiming, tracking Saren even as he was lifted into the belly of a Geth dropship. "Good bye, Saren."

A single shot rang out, and Saren noticed it too late.

Almost.

Saren's left shoulder vanished in a spray of gore. It gave Shepard no small amount of satisfaction to hear Saren roar in pain, his arm almost completely severed by Garrus' shot.

But then Saren was gone, swallowed into the Geth craft. The wasp-like craft was already pulling up and breaking for orbit.

"We've got a dropship leaving the area, sir! Do you want us to pursue?" Joker asked, voice crackling in Shepard's ear.

"No," Shepard croaked hoarsely, and he coughed up a small dot of blood. "No! We need immediate evac, Lieutenant! Wrex's down! Garrus... wounded..."

"Shit!" Joker replied, "We'll be there in under a minute! This is going to be touch and go!"

Shepard returned to Kaidan, managed to get the younger combat medic to hold onto him. Garrus was on his feet, face grimacing. Tali had managed to rouse Wrex, but the Krogan's movements were slow, sluggish. And Ashley...

What about Ashley?

The _Normandy_ touched down. A few crewmen and women met them at the cargo bay door, taking Kaidan from Shepard as the squad climbed aboard. Shepard refused their assistance, waving them away with a curt remark, and jabbed his finger on a holographic display.

"We're on! Break for orbit!"

Shepard staggered his way into the elevator, and then towards the cockpit once it reached the command deck as the _Normandy_ screamed upwards through Virmire's cloud cover.

"Step on it, Joker!" barked Shepard, standing over the pilot's shoulder, gripping his chair, "Get us the hell out of here!"

"Already on it, sir!"

The leviathan that was Sovereign loomed as a malevolent reading on the rear sensor display as the _Normandy_ entered the void but Shepard could easily determine that it wasn't pursuing. For whatever reason, Saren and the Reaper seemed to be letting them make good on their escape. Shepard didn't know why they would let them get away like this, Sovereign could easily outpace the _Normandy_, but, knowing Saren...

Knowing Saren, the Turian knew exactly how much damage he had done with only a single death.

Ashley Williams. A single death.

Lurching towards a display monitor, pain flaring through his shoulder, Shepard toggled one of the rear cameras and did his best to focus on Virmire. Despite the magnification, the planet continued to recede rapidly as Joker poured on the heat. He wasn't even sure what he was looking for, his head was still throbbing and bleeding where Saren's talons had caught him and his vision wasn't quite right, but Shepard just knew that he had to see the end result. Because if fate was cruel and capricious then perhaps, just once, it could also be kind?

Just once.

But all Shepard could do was shut his eyes as the crystal beaches of Virmire were suddenly engulfed in the light and fury of an atomic sunrise.

By the time they hit the Relay, he wasn't even conscious.


	43. Part VIII: Silence, Ch I: Breathe

**Part VIII - Silence**

_"And behind it was a cold blackness; and it was not heaven or hell that I was looking at, but only emptiness." - Margaret Atwood_

**Chapter I - Breathe**

Virmire had left the entire ship stunned.

After the successful conclusion of so many other battles against Saren's Geth forces, how could the death of Ashley Williams make the destruction of Saren's headquarters feel like such a pyrrhic victory? Other members of the _Normandy's_ crew might have fallen, Shepard had sent the notices to their next of kin, but it was Ashley's face that he kept seeing every time he closed his eyes.

Shepard had thought himself used to death, used to losing friends.

He had been. Once. But now, after getting to know Ashley, Garrus, Wrex and Tali... all he could feel was a sense of weakness. He had led himself to believe that their loss wasn't inevitable.

He had been wrong.

He had been wrong about other things. On Noveria, Shepard had once thought that everything balanced out in the end. But Ashley was gone now, completely and utterly vaporised by an exploding drive core. How could this balance out? How could anything balance out?

Fuck it, he reached for the lowest drawer in his desk and took out a bottle.

Then, he hesitated. Shepard placed it down, but onto the desk - not back into the drawer. He looked at it for a good long while, at the amber liquid within, and then stood up and left.

No, that wasn't the right way to cope.

And he had a briefing to get to anyway.

* * *

Shepard's crew sat around the communications room, all in varied states of confidence and injury. Virmire had left its mark on them, too. The chair that Ashley would lounge in, leaned back with one ankle over her knee in a challenging pose that spoke of immense self-assurance, was empty. It was a stark, ever-present reminder of their loss.

Hunched forward, Kaidan occupied his chair more than sitting in it. His face was still pale, his eyes heavy, and Shepard knew that the Lieutenant had to be struggling with what he himself had fought with on Akuze and Mindoir - survivor's guilt. The medic said nothing and kept his eyes on Shepard, as if he was afraid to even look at Ashley's seat and see that she wasn't there. Shepard knew exactly how he felt.

And yet, what could he say to Kaidan? 'I'm sorry that I picked you? I'm sorry that I made the choice to save your life?'

Maybe a few weeks ago, he would have known what to say. But not now.

Garrus had seemed to take it the worst, perhaps excepting Shepard himself. The Reapers, Saren's endgame plan, the use of vat-grown Krogan... it all seemed to be too much for Garrus' law enforcement world view. The sheer enormity of the crime was just beyond his experience, beyond his training. Who could Garrus arrest when the crime was genocide? What was the proper punishment for such an injustice?

Shepard couldn't answer him, either.

Wrex was silent and stoic, as usual. The Krogan had weathered the Virmire storm well, Wrex was hardened and used to war. But Shepard still didn't feel as if he could face the hulking Krogan, not after what had transpired on Virmire. It wasn't that Wrex had come close to losing it, Shepard could understand that, it was the shame that Shepard felt - that, in the chaos, he had forgotten to see if there was any information they could have recovered.

On one hand, Shepard knew that Wrex would understand. On the other, Shepard felt as if he had let him down.

He hadn't seen much of Liara since the battle, not that he had seen much of her before. Due to the fact that she had been shot in the leg, Liara had been spending more time than usual in the medical bay with Doctor Chakwas. Liara had been so unused to war that she had frozen up on Noveria, and now someone she knew was dead. It was his duty to say something, as the CO of the _Normandy_ and as her friend. Much like Kaidan, Shepard knew the words to say... and yet they felt hollow. Everyone knew that Ashley's death was a tragedy, words were inadequate.

And Tali? She had repaired her mask, recovered well enough, but Shepard didn't feel comfortable around her. Not with the reminder that she could die during the hunt for Saren or that she would leave soon after. His heart felt like it would tear itself in two because, despite the fear of loss, Shepard now - more than ever before - wanted to hold her slim form in his arms and never let go.

His team felt divided, like a series of yawning chasms had opened between them, and Shepard felt powerless to close the gaps. And so he ignored them, moving on with the briefing.

"The message I received on Eden Prime was a warning," Shepard explained, "A warning about the Reapers specifically. It just... came too late to be of any good to anyone. The Reapers killed everyone, wiped everything out." Shepard could feel that sorrow, feel the terrible sadness of billions of lost lives, perhaps thanks to the Cipher, or his natural state, and combined with the loss of Ashley... "There's also images of a planet where the Conduit is. I'd say they were going to use it against the Reapers but they were just too late."

Liara replied, "This planet... Can you describe it for me, Commander?"

Shepard tried to sum up his mental image of the planet, but found it harder than he expected. "Stone. Statues. Old. Very old."

"Commander, with your permission, I might be able to help you with those details."

"Knock yourself out."

Shepard stood and let Liara place her hands on him once again. Amongst his mental maelstrom, Liara's mental presence was cooling, calming-

"Ilos!" Liara shouted suddenly, bringing him back to reality. "The Conduit is on Ilos! That is why Saren needed to find the Mu Relay - it is the only way to get to Ilos."

"And where's the Relay?" asked Kaidan, voice quiet, "We can get Joker to lay in a course immediately."

"The Hawking Eta system, or in that general vicinity, according to the data we recovered on Noveria."

Tali spoke up, "There's a problem - that puts the Relay inside the Terminus Systems. Alliance ships are not welcome there, neither are Spectres."

"Long story short," Garrus said, still recovering from the beating that Saren had inflicted upon him, "Any sign of Council activity could risk provoking a war. Stealth systems or not, I think we will need to be careful about this."

"Not just that, Garrus." The fact that Wrex used Garrus' first name wasn't lost on Shepard - perhaps the Turian had earned himself some more respect from the Krogan after taking on Saren, "But I'd place good credits that Saren has based most of his fleet there while he looks for this Conduit. We'll need support."

"Support? From the Council?" Garrus asked, incredulous, "They haven't given us much direct support up until this point. They won't start now."

"They might," Shepard replied, "And we're going to need more ships."

"They're a governing body, Shepard. They specifically want to maintain deniability about their Spectre operatives."

"They have to know about Sovereign."

"They won't believe you. If it is that necessary then we can inform them as we head into the Terminus. Saren has enough of a headstart as it is."

Shepard shook his head, "Not necessarily. You shot him Garrus, almost amputated his arm. He won't be going anywhere for at least a few days. With that leeway..."

Garrus' mandibles twitched, "Then, yes, as much as I hate to admit it, we can afford to inform the Council and request support. A fleet to distract Sovereign while we get ourselves down to the surface."

"I think this debriefing's over," Shepard announced, "We're all very tired. Get some rest. Joker, get me a priority link to the Citadel Council."

When the three Councilors faded into view, the Asari spoke first: "Commander Shepard, excellent timing, I am pleased to see that the mission was a success."

The Turian nodded, "Saren is formidable enough without an army of Krogan serving under him."

"Made that much worse by who - or what - Saren's serving, surely," Shepard replied, "Sovereign, his ship, is a Reaper. Sovereign wiped out the Protheans and we're next."

"Yes," the Salarian said with a cautious note, "We noted your mention of that in your report. Sovereign. A sentient warship. A true artificial intelligence. The news is quite alarming... if it turns out to be accurate. Be that as it may, Commander, you saved the STG team and severely hampered Saren's operations."

"Not without cost, Councillors. I lost many good people, including a member of my ground team."

The Asari nodded, "With that in mind, Commander Shepard, we would ask you to return to the Citadel. If Saren is truly gathering his agents and marshaling his forces, it is very likely he plans to move soon. Therefore, we have prepared a plan to ensure he will no longer pose any threat."

"But Saren isn't the real threat," Shepard insisted, "He's Sovereign's puppet."

"It's highly possible Saren is using false information to throw you off balance. Our own intelligence gathering has turned up no corroborating information."

"I tried to warn you about Saren, you didn't believe me then and look how that turned out!"

"I believe you humans have a saying: even a broken clock is right twice a day."

"Yeah? We've also got another saying: go to hell!"

The Turian councilor frowned, and he growled: "Maybe we were wrong about you, Shepard. Maybe Humans are too hot-headed to be Spectres."

"_Enough!_" The Asari Councilor had raised her voice, and the shock silenced the venomous exchange. "Commander Shepard has performed admirably so far. This... discussion... is only a minor disagreement."

"Sooner or later you're going to have to take something I say on faith, Councilor."

"Try to see this from our perspective, Commander. Saren is a threat we can recognise. However, as far as we know, the Reapers only exist in your visions. Our hands are tied. Returning to what we said earlier, we have a plan to deal with Saren."

"And that is?"

"A multi-species fleet which will stop this from going any further and finally put an end to Saren Arterius. Commander, this is a sensitive topic. We would request to meet with you in the Citadel Tower and co-ordinate our next move."

"I'll be there, Councilors, but I'm going to see results or I'll be going after him myself. End." At Shepard's command, the communications link went dark.

After a few moments, Shepard was aware of someone behind him. Kaidan had remained behind. He looked up at Shepard with his tired eyes and asked, "Commander, why was it me?"

Shepard didn't turn from the long-range communicator. "Lieutenant, I want to make this very clear. I'm not going to discuss what happened back on Virmire. I don't want to talk about Williams. I don't want to think about her."

Kaidan's voice wavered, "But- Sir, I-" He needed Shepard to keep him on the level, keep him grounded, but it was impossible - Shepard himself felt as if he was about to collapse completely.

"You survived. That's the end of it. I will no longer allow a degree of attachment to compromise my command; if the squad survives the next few days, you will all be transferred. I will not watch another friend die."

Kaidan said nothing and Shepard didn't even realise the exact moment he had left. Perhaps it was a good thing that Tali would be returning to the Migrant Fleet after all. She - all of them, actually - would be safer, happier, if they weren't serving with him.

The chasm yawned below him, mirrored by the hole that felt as if it was rending open his heart, and all Shepard felt was the urge to fall into it.


	44. Part VIII: Silence, Ch II: Forsaken

**Chapter II - Forsaken**

Shepard took the steps up towards the Council's podium two at a time.

"Good job, Shepard!" remarked Udina who met him halfway, "Thanks to you, the Council's finally taking real action against Saren." Udina actually seemed happy and upbeat.

_For once in his life._

"About time," Shepard remarked, feeling a surge of hope - vindication and victory - blot out the hole that Virmire had left in his chest. If Udina was that positive then there was no doubt that Saren's time was now truly dwindling.

They had him now.

"The ambassador is correct," spoke the Asari councilor as they came to the top of the stairs, "If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel - as you believe - we will be ready for him."

"And patrols are stationed at every Mass Relay linking Citadel space to the Terminus systems," noted the Turian Councilor.

Suddenly, something about the entire scene before Shepard felt wrong. "With all due respect," Shepard began, when he realised that Udina wasn't going to intervene, "A blockade isn't going to stop Saren - a blockade isn't a mobile force. He's on Ilos looking for the Conduit right now. That's where we need to be."

"Ilos is only accessible through the Mu Relay," explained the Salarian Councilor, "Deep inside the Terminus Systems, Commander. If we send a fleet in there, the only possible outcome is full-scale war."

"Now is the time for discretion, Commander," agreed Udina, "Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy. Exposed, he is no longer a threat. This... is over."

Shepard couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was no way they would have dragged him all the way back here, halfway across the Traverse, for_ this_. That hope that had seemed so warm only a short time ago was now growing cold, and crystallising in his chest. Dread.

"Look, send the _Normandy_," he reasoned, hoping that the feeling in his gut wasn't going to become real. "One ship, a stealth frigate, will not start a war. It can be done quietly."

"You detonated a nuclear device on Virmire," the Turian scoffed, mandibles clicking, "I wouldn't call_ that_ quiet!"

The Asari spoke with a kind, gentle voice once again, the voice of reason and compassion, but Shepard suddenly realised just how much of a ploy that was. "Your style served you well in the Traverse, Commander. We recognize this, but the Terminus requires a deft touch. We have the situation under control."

"Under control?" Shepard's exasperation was obvious, "Saren's a tool of Sovereign! The Reaper must be destroyed! We have to get to Ilos and we have to go now!"

The Turian looked at his two associates, "Ah. Yes. _That_. Must you really persist in believing that obvious hoax? Need I remind you that only you have seen the Reapers," the Turian Councilor pointed out, "And only in visions."

"The 'conversation' you indicated in your report may have been an elaborate falsehood on the part of Saren," the Salarian offered, "Our own intelligence has been unable to find any information that corroborates your reports."

"Indeed," nodded the Asari, "And we will not move into the Terminus systems without actual evidence."

Shepard shook his head, "I _am_ your intelligence! Listen, if Saren finds the Conduit-"

"Saren is a master manipulator," replied the Salarian, "The Conduit is just a distraction from his real plan to attack the Citadel."

"Attack the Citadel?" Shepard asked, "Attack the Citadel? No, don't you do this to me. Don't you do this to me! You put me in this position! You made me a Spectre!" Shepard roared, thrusting a finger at the Council, "You made me hunt Saren! You told me I'd be pursuing him without any oversight! I don't believe this, the evidence I found prior to my inauguration seemed good enough to convince you of the Reapers... And now you're just going to sit by and do nothing?" His head shook back and forth in obvious disbelief, "You really are defending him, aren't you? Even now. What will it take to make you realise that you made a mistake?"

"We did make a mistake, Shepard!" The Turian snarled in response, "And that mistake was in believing that you were suitable for the role of Spectre! And since that time you have destroyed a valuable archaeological dig site, destroyed research facilities on Noveria and Feros, unleashed the Rachni in violation of Citadel law, taken your vessel on several unexplained 'missions' and now have detonated a nuclear device on one of the most outstanding prospects for Citadel colonisation! _You were our mistake!"_

Silence reigned. The three councilors looked to each other, and then back to the Humans.

"I would like the Councillor's last series of remarks stricken from the record," The Asari said at last, her voice cutting through the silence. "Be mindful."

"Commander Shepard, I would like to apologize for his remarks. But you must try to see things from our perspective. Saren is a threat we can recognise. The Reapers, as far as we know, exist only as relics of the past and as a campaign of misinformation. If Saren is truly amassing an army of Geth and Krogan then it is only logical that he will strike here, at the heart of galactic politics."

"Then I'm sorry, Councillors, but you're killing the entire galaxy."

"Ambassador Udina," sighed the Turian, sounding tired now with the sensation of anger seemingly dissipated from the chamber, "I get the sense Commander Shepard isn't willing to let this go."

"There are serious political implications here, Shepard," Udina said warningly. "Humanity's made great gains thanks to you..." And his voice became particularly venomous, "But now you're becoming more trouble than you're worth. I will not let you poison what we have worked so hard to achieve."

Shepard whirled on the Human Ambassador, "What the hell are you doing, Udina?"

Udina smiled coldly, "Just politics, Commander. You've done your job, now you must let me do mine. We have locked out the _Normandy's_ primary systems. Until further notice, you are grounded."

"You son of a bitch!" Shepard snarled, "Do you have any idea what you are doing?"

"Yes, Shepard, I do. And I think it's time for you to leave. This no longer concerns you. The Council can handle this now, with my help of course."

Shepard took a single step towards Udina, and instantly found two C-Sec guards hauling him from his feet.

"You bastard!" he yelled, "What has to happen! How many people have to die before you actually get involved! Why don't you just roll out Sovereign the goddamn welcome mat? Just who the hell do you think you are, Udina!"

He was still yelling his defiance when he was thrown into the elevator.

* * *

"They did _what?_"

In just a few short hours, Shepard's world had fallen to pieces around him.

"But the Alliance-" Kaidan continued to splutter, "They'll have to listen to us!"

Shepard knew they wouldn't. He was so certain of this that the first thing he had done was to inform the crew that the Normandy had been impounded, and to grant them immediate leave on the Citadel for the duration of the current crisis. The _Normandy_ wasn't going anywhere and they might as well enjoy the time they had left, if Sovereign was going to succeed - which the Reaper almost certainly was. He remembered what he said about transferring the crew, but now it seemed irrelevant: Saren had won. Shepard had been fighting down a powerful cocktail of despair, anger and frustration when Kaidan had stormed up. No longer sombre and morose, Kaidan was incensed.

But it couldn't change anything.

"The Council has said no, Alenko," Shepard replied, his voice resigned. "That's all there is to it. Udina himself locked us down until this 'crisis' is resolved. We're finished."

"So? We can still fight!"

"Fight what? We can't go up against the Council, Alenko. Not when they're this close to rescinding my status as a Spectre."

"They wouldn't!"

"They might. They just won't admit - can't admit - that their best agent is trying to bring around the death of everything in known space."

"But the evidence-"

"Is inconclusive at best, and intended to deceive us at worse. We're finished."

"Garrus was right," Kaidan muttered, "He's been saying that the Council would protect Saren, and now this. How'd he take it?"

"I don't know," Shepard admitted, "Not very well, I suppose. I don't think he trusts himself, what'd he'd do if he found himself on the Presidium. I think he'd march right up there and throttle the Council. I'd join him."

Kaidan paused as Shepard took a step down the stairwell to the _Normandy's_ lower decks. Kaidan never let his emotions cloud his judgment. Not since he had broken a Turian's neck when he was just a kid - Shepard knew his history. "You don't mean that, Commander."

"Maybe I do, Kaidan, maybe I don't. I just don't give a damn."

* * *

Shepard left Kaidan behind and looked again at the bundle in his arms. If they weren't going anywhere, he might as well stow his equipment. Shepard trudged down the ship with heavy footfalls to his equipment locker.

The deck was quiet and deserted. Kaidan usually oversaw logistics and storage in his spare time - an unusual little quirk of his character - but he hadn't followed Shepard down. Nor was Shepard in the right mind to actually index his equipment - he knew what he had, he knew where it went, and that would be enough.

Shepard paused by the lockers. He looked down the row of them, each one similar but subtly different, marked in little ways that demonstrated the character of the person that kept it. Wrex's was seemingly straining at the hinges from each time it was opened, Garrus' was neat and professional and distinctly unmarred, Shepard knew Kaidan had a picture of an old love in his, and he knew that Ashley had always had the locker next to his.

Shepard had told Kaidan that he never wanted to think of Ashley again. Ever again. So why did his mind keep coming back to her?

Deciding not to think on it, Shepard busied his mind with entering his security code. The lock beeped obligingly and Shepard pulled on the door. Nothing happened. Shepard frowned, clutched the handle and shook it.

The door rattled, but remained in place. Something had jammed. Shepard shook it again, and then threw all of his considerable strength into it. The locker remained shut and stubborn and Shepard continued to shake it as every recent event came roaring back into his mind. He fought down the urge to scream at the universe, at everything that had transpired, because this door would just not open and it was symbolizing everything that had gone wrong-

Shepard shut his eyes, squeezed them so tight that bright colors burst behind his eyelids. His hand moved from shaking the door and became a fist, striking the metal door hard and bloodying his knuckles.

They were still squeezed shut when he heard a familiar and welcome voice.

"Commander," Tali had to be standing just behind him, "I heard the news. I've taken the drive core onto standby, as per procedure."

Shepard opened his eyes. His fist was still pressed against his locker, knuckles throbbing.

"Were you having some problems with your equipment locker?" she asked, "Perhaps I could take a look at the mechanism."

"No," Shepard replied. He pulled his fist away from the locker and turned himself around, slumping himself back against the row of lockers. "It's okay. I'll be able to deal with it."

"I'll try to be more direct. Are you alright?"

Shepard looked up at her. "No," he finally said. "I feel like I got stabbed in the back."

"The Council has a habit of that," Tali replied, "Procedures are important to them - Ekuna is proof of that. Couldn't the Alliance help you?"

"They won't risk their standing with the Council, Udina made that clear." Shepard looked down at his uniform jacket. He tugged on a lapel, looking down at his hand. "You know, Tali, have I told you about the first time I put on this uniform?"

Tali shook her head.

"You'll laugh, but I felt like I could take on the whole galaxy before breakfast. Now, after today... I look at it... and it's just cloth." Disgust and bitterness dripped from his voice, pooling around him on the deck. "I don't know what the Alliance is about anymore, what it stands for, if they won't have my back on this. The Ambassador threw us to the wolves, just so he could play politics. That's not what the Alliance's supposed to be about."

"I wonder if the Council overlooked this idealistic part of you."

"Probably." He let out a long breath, "They called me a mistake, Tali."

He could hear her gasp, even behind her visor. "But... Everything we've done! We can't stop now!"

"But they're right, aren't they? The whole thing with Cerberus... maybe if we had have reached Virmire quicker. Maybe Ashley wouldn't have..." He trailed off, hopeless and ashamed. Everyone was entitled to one mistake, and the little crusade against Cerberus had been his, but when the fate of the galaxy was at stake... He could have handled things better. He _should have_ handled things better.

But now it didn't matter.

"So..." asked Tali, in the silence, "Will you go home, back to Mindoir?"

"No," Shepard said, "There's nothing there for me. There hasn't been anything there for me for a long time. It's funny, the closest thing I have to a family is this ship and crew. The _Normandy's_ my home now. I don't have anywhere else to be." For some reason, that statement filled him with an indescribable sadness, heavy and lethargic.

"You almost sound like a Quarian there, John," Tali teased, extending her hand down to him. The mirth didn't exactly dispel his frustrations, but it was nice to hear. "John'Shepard vas _Normandy_. It has a certain ring to it, wouldn't you say?"

Shepard took Tali's offered hand and let her pull him to his feet. She was strong, surprisingly so, and Shepard found himself face to visor with Tali - what would have practically been nose to nose if that inscrutable visor wasn't in the way. The _Normandy_ was so quiet that he was sure he could hear her breathing. He felt his neck twist to one side, was sure that he saw her helmet tilt with him, a small quick step as he closed the gap a bit more and-

"Commander? Sorry to interrupt but I just received a priority message."

Shepard tried not to scowl too much at the local intercom speaker. He stepped back and away from Tali, rubbing at the back of his head. Tali's helmet was pointed towards the ground, staring down at her feet. He lowered his hand - why was he acting like this? It's not like he was going to-

"Joker, if you've been watching the security feed..."

"What? No sir, I Just log everything up here and knew you hadn't left the ship since you returned. It's from Captain Anderson."

"Details?"

"He said to meet him at Flux, a nightclub down in the Wards."

"I know the place, but is that all? Nothing else?" Shepard asked.

"That's it. He didn't say anything else."

"Thank you, Joker. That'll be all."

The intercom clicked off obediently. Tali peeked up, as if she had been caught doing something, as if she expected a reprimand. "Commander, I-"

Shepard just shook his head. "Don't. It's okay." He stepped back and away from her, and she did likewise.

"I should go," he said, "I shouldn't keep the Captain waiting." Shepard's tone was all business now, subsuming everything back into the role of professional soldier. He pulled himself up, straightened out a few creases in his uniform, and tried to avoid thinking about the woman in front of him.

Still, he didn't resist when she followed him to the airlock. There it was again, simple physiology and psychology. They were just responding to each other, to the general atmosphere and situation they found themselves in. Shepard had read about those sorts of encounters - perhaps even experienced it on Virmire. It wasn't love - couldn't be love. His body was just responding to a series of enticing external stimuli and he lacked the composure to control it at present.

And yet, as the airlock cycled and the rest of his squad gathered behind him, Shepard had to admit to himself that it felt nice to feel needed - even when you didn't want to be.


	45. Part VIII: Silence, Ch III: White Noise

**Chapter III - White Noise**

The agitated buzzing in Shepard's head threatened to blot out the thumping dance bass of Flux's dance floor. On some level, Shepard hoped that it would.

The club had seemed so inviting and mysterious, like another world, when the crew had visited following their successful mission on Therum. Now? Now, the club seemed banal and the club-goers were no longer intoxicating - they were just ignorant. Here they were, all unaware of what had transpired just hours ago in the Citadel Tower. All unaware of what was transpiring across the Traverse, at Ilos. The galaxy was teetering on a celestial tightrope and not a single person here, Shepard's squad notwithstanding, cared about any of it.

The Council had cast Shepard aside, refused to believe his testimony, and now everyone here was already dead.

Shepard could feel his fingers tightening around the edge of the armrest. His iron composure felt frayed, eaten away by stress and doubt. Maybe if he had have made more people aware, maybe then the Council couldn't have afforded to doubt him. But he hadn't, and now none of them were aware of the end of all things that lurked just beyond the horizon. None of them aware at all.

Shepard tore his eyes away from the dance floor and towards Captain Anderson. Anderson had exchanged his usual attire for a black singlet and pants. It was the first time he had ever seen Anderson out of uniform. The Captain was also nursing a drink, another thing that Shepard knew his commander wasn't generally accustomed to.

It felt more and more like the whole galaxy was going mad.

"I'm glad you could make it, Shepard."

"Yeah, well, it's not like I'm doing anything else - they've grounded the Normandy. You could've told me I was walking into a trap."

"I know," Anderson sighed, "I'm sorry. I wanted to warn you, but there was no way to get a message to you before you docked without the Ambassador knowing. I think this was in the Council's cards the moment they heard about the Virmire incident. I know you're angry right now, Commander, but you can't give up. The Council thinks this is over, but we both know that it's not. You have to get to Ilos, you have to stop Saren from using the Conduit!"

Shepard shook his head. "This whole thing feels over to me, there's no way we can get there without the _Normandy_. It's the only ship that could get us through the Terminus undetected, much less past Saren's defenses."

"There might be a workaround. Udina was the one who issued the lockdown order, we would just need to override it. Once the _Normandy's_ back online you can be in the Terminus Systems before anyone knows you're gone."

"Captain, if we steal the _Normandy_, you'll be the one left holding the bag. You'll be their prime suspect. They're going to know that you played a role in it."

"And if Saren finds and uses the Conduit, life as we know it is over. I believe you, Shepard, I believe you when you say that the Reapers will destroy us - humans, Asari, Turians, everybody. You're the only one who can stop them. When it's stakes like that, I'll do whatever I can to help get you off this station."

"Including mutiny, if not treason. If that's how the crew of the _Normandy_ see it, we won't ever hit the Relay."

Anderson only smiled, "The _Normandy_ is your ship now. Her crew will follow you to the ends of the galaxy. We both know that."

"Then..." Shepard glanced down at the table and remembered what he had said to Tali - about believing in the Alliance, about truly believing. Was he really contemplating this? Would he really defy the Systems Alliance, after everything he had done for them? After everything they had done for _him?_ Spectre or not, technically Shepard had never retired his commission in the Alliance. It was a like a cliff, yawning out beneath him, and the knowledge that he had to jump to save himself.

And everyone else.

"Commander?"

Shepard's voice felt heavy. It felt like his lips couldn't quite wrap around the words: "If this is the only path available to us, it's the path we'll have to take. What's the plan?"

"I can unlock the_ Normandy_ from one of the consoles in the Citadel Tower. I have an old friend in C-Sec who owes me a favor. You'll have a few minutes before anyone realises what's happened."

"Friend or not, that's a restricted area patrolled by armed guards."

"Leave them to me, just make sure you're in the _Normandy_ the moment the systems come back online."

"There has to be another way. You said Udina issued the order?"

Anderson leaned back in his chair, thinking. "Perhaps it would be possible to hack into the computer in his office and override the order from there. We could send a message from his computer, making it seem like Udina has decided to rescind the lockdown order."

Shepard felt his mouth twist in irritation. Neither of those options stood out as immediately acceptable. Too much risk. "Damnit. Udina won't just let you waltz in there, he'll call for soldiers the moment you try it."

"Hopefully he won't be in there. I've got his doorcode. If he is, I'll just have to think of something."

"Either way, Captain, this is treason."

"There are no other options available to us."

"No," Shepard let out an almighty sigh, because this was the extremes the two of them had been pushed to. "You're right. Then let's try for the Ambassador's office. You're not taking on C-Sec then at least."

"I was hoping you'd say that - he's made this personal."

"He has indeed. Once we're ready, we'll send the signal. You hit his office then you get out, find somewhere to lay low while this all blows over. I imagine they'll drop the charges when we stop Saren."

Anderson gave a little nod. He turned his dark eyes out to one of the viewports, gazing out at the shifting clouds of the nebula. Eventually, he said: "It's a helluva way to end our careers in the Alliance, John - going out saving the galaxy."

"Yeah..." Shepard took a final look around at the crowds of people. "Yeah. Give us an hour, that should be enough time to get everything in place."

Shepard pushed himself away from the table and felt a familiar determination settle in. Time to get to work.

* * *

Marching at a quick pace, his crew behind him, Shepard wasted no time in giving orders. An hour was an hour but Shepard wasn't going to have it come down to the wire.

"Kaidan, Garrus, Wrex - split up and find the crew. Check the embassy lounge, Flux, even Chora's Den, wherever you think you might find them and get them to report back to the ship. And keep this off any networks, last thing we need is for someone to wonder why we're recalling the crew."

"Got it."

"Tali, I want you to head back to the_ Normandy_. Make sure the ship is ready to go the second we get Anderson's signal, see about routing some extra power through the drive core, we're going to need every second."

"Can do, Commander."

"This is going to be hectic. We're only going to have seconds to get the Normandy off the Citadel. Let's just hope Anderson can-"

That was when they ran straight into Conrad. So focused Shepard was, he didn't notice the young man until he had almost run him over. Conrad, to his credit, seemed to take it in stride. "Hey, Commander! Listen, I've got an idea... And I'd like to run it by you."

Shepard sighed. He couldn't just brush past, it'd risk attracting attention. "I can spare a moment, that's all. Make it quick."

"Great! This will just take a minute..." Conrad's face took on a serious expression, one that was almost maudlin. "With all that's going on, I'm not sure that one Spectre is enough... What if you signed me on as another Spectre?"

"Conrad..." He didn't want to deal with this, not now. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Maybe," replied Conrad earnestly, "But there were people who didn't believe in you and you worked out okay, right? I know you're afraid to trust people after you lost your unit at Akuze, but I'd never let you down!"

It was all too much. Mindoir, Akuze, the Council's blindness, Udina's betrayal, Ashley's death. Everything, the Citadel, Shepard's squad, Tali, it all fell away, leaving only Shepard and Conrad. Where had being a Spectre gotten him? Where had surviving any of it gotten him? Where had trust gotten him? Betrayed, used like a tool, discarded. The whole goddamn universe was going to end and he was forced to sit and- could only-

Shepard saw red. Before Shepard realised what he was doing, he'd pulled his sidearm from his holster and leveled it at Conrad.

"Drop your weapon, Commander!" It was Garrus, and by that familiar whine, he had his own pistol out.

"Back off, Garrus!" barked Shepard, eyes flashing to Garrus.

The Turian held his ground. "You know I-"

"Back the_ fuck_ off, Garrus! I know what I'm doing!"

"What are you doing?" cried Conrad, his lip trembling, eyes wide with obvious fear. "Why are you doing this? Please... don't hurt me."

"This is what a gun in your face feels like Conrad!" snarled Shepard, his face only inches from Conrad's own, "This is what I have to deal with _every - single - day_!" He stepped back, lowered his sidearm. "Go home, Conrad!"

"I thought you were a hero!" Conrad wailed, almost screamed, "Heroes don't do things like this!"

And then he was gone, pushing through the crowd that had gathered, fleeing from Shepard. Shepard seethed, felt hot all over, felt the adrenaline pumping through his veins. A crowd had gathered, murmuring quietly. They were judging him. For what? For trying to save their asses? For getting blocked by the authority that had assured him they would support any action he would take in the pursuit of Saren? For having to watch a fellow soldier - a good friend - die? For no reason! Fuck them, he was prepared to tell them just where they could-

It was Tali who spoke first. Her voice was barely a whisper, "John... what have you done?"

Shepard didn't answer. "Just leave me alone. All of you! Get out of here!"

As Shepard stalked off, he was aware that Tali attempted to follow. Wrex wrapped a muscular arm around her. "Let him go," the Krogan growled, "He'll figure himself out."

* * *

Breathing heavily and feeling as if he was going to vomit up the breakfast he hadn't had, all Shepard could feel was disgust.

He was sweating, his fatigues drenched through, and shaking. His body was still coming off the powerful adrenaline high. He'd felt like an angry god, like an erupting mountain, huge and powerful and terrifying... and it had felt good. It had felt _so_ good.

Shepard wiped at his forehead and his palm came back slick. He'd gone deep into the Wards, to escape the crowds, to get away from his squad, to try and escape the horrible shame that now felt like it was now suffocating him. What the hell had he done?

In combat, not even in combat, did he risk something like that. Anger like that got you killed, it would make you do something stupid.

Like pull a gun on a civilian in a crowded area.

The worst part was that this wasn't unfamiliar. The rage had kept him going until Kahoku had saved his life, saved him from the unthinking anger. Control your breathing, center yourself, and it will pass - that's what Kahoku had always told him.

If the Admiral had seen him like that... How could he go back to the _Normandy_ now? He had failed them, too.

There was a brief series of sounds from up ahead. Shepard could recognise the sounds of a fight when he heard one - the small fleshy impacts, sighs, groans, growls, bits and pieces of half-said phrases. And then a muffled shout from a voice that was all too familiar and Shepard began to move.

Two Turians stood over a young, blonde human. Shepard recognised him instantly, the haircut was unmistakable. Shepard could see the blood pooling out from under Conrad as the Turian finished wiping the gore off his wicked blade. The other had crouched down, had begun riffling through Conrad's pockets.

Shepard's pistol was already out, and he shot the Turian in the head.

Blue Turian blood sprayed out across the bulkhead wall and the other Turian gave a little surprised bark, eyes going straight to his friend. Advancing on the second, the one with the long knife, Shepard called up the last of the adrenaline in his system and swung his pistol and arm out in a backhand strike.

Pain lanced around Shepard's wrist, even through the adrenaline euphoria, and he stepped back, rubbed his forearm, cursing to himself. Backhanding a Turian across the face was not a smart idea. But it was enough to stun the Turian and, with a yell, Shepard shot him twice in the abdomen.

Then, silence. No C-Sec response, and Shepard doubted there would be any at all. A few gunshots wouldn't attract attention, not this deep in the Wards. Conrad moaned.

Shepard looked down at the young man. What had Conrad done? Tried to prove himself the hero? Take on a few Turian gangers in some dank corner of the Wards? For what? All it had gotten him was stabbed in the gut and left to die.

He realised it a moment later. Conrad was impressionable. Shepard had hurt him - really hurt him - and Conrad had tried to prove himself the hero, so he could earn Shepard's respect. It was clear as crystal to the Spectre and that only worsened his nausea because this was, on some level, his fault.

Conrad was an idiot, of that Shepard had no doubt, but he didn't deserve this.

And he certainly couldn't just leave him here to die in a pool of his own blood.

Not after Shepard himself had had something to do with it all. Not after when all Conrad had wanted to do was help.

Shepard threw Conrad over his shoulder and, grimacing from the effort, hoped that he'd live long enough for Shepard to find him some help.


	46. Part VIII: Silence, Ch IV: Clinical

**Chapter IV - Clinical  
**

Shepard fidgeted as Doctor Michel returned from her patient's room. "How is he, Doctor?"

"He'll live, Commander," she replied, "He's lost a lot of blood-"

"Is he conscious?"

"Yes, Commander, but I don't believe that he is in any state to talk. As I was saying, he has lost a lot of blood."

"It's important."

"Why?"

"I need to ask him about the turians who attacked him," Shepard lied, "Citadel business."

Michel nodded but Shepard could read the skepticism on her face. Maybe she was a gossiphound and maybe she knew of the circumstances surrounding Conrad's errant adventure. In either case, she seemed to understand: "Alright." And pointed Shepard to Conrad's room.

Shepard fought down the trepidation in his stomach and stepped into the room, taking a second to make sure the door was locked behind him. He didn't want anyone to know what was about to happen in here. It was bad enough that the news services would soon probably be ablaze with the news story of the first human Spectre assaulting an innocent civilian, shouting and ranting and storming off - if the story wasn't being reported already. Westerlund News loved a story like that.

No, this was just between him and Conrad.

"I don't want to talk to you," moaned Conrad, propped up in the hospital bed on a set of pillows. At least he was awake - that was a good sign. "Just leave me alone." He turned himself away, as best he could. A quick glance at one of the displays indicated that Conrad's vitals were stable, even if he wouldn't be getting out for a few days at least.

Shepard grabbed one of the nearby seats and dragged it to sit beside Conrad. "Well, I'm going to talk to you. You don't have to listen, but I'd like it if you did." Conrad just remained on his side, facing away.

"Look, Conrad," Shepard began, "I'm sorry. But the thing you have to understand is that there's no glory in what I do. None at all. I'm a soldier because I don't know anything else. I kill people, Conrad, and I killed my first person when I was sixteen. And, well, that's not exactly conducive to a healthy mind. Hell, half the time I consider myself lucky to just survive in one piece - physically, at least. See, even if you don't die, war takes a toll on you. You get used to it, to anger and violence, hell, I've got scars on my palms from concentrating so goddamn hard on not hitting someone who's irritated me-" He broke off, "That's what happens, you die - or you get so used to the idea of death you... don't have a problem with pulling a gun on someone who doesn't deserve it.

"There's no such thing as a 'good fight'. Out there, in space, on the ground, it's all the same. You just hope that you're a better fighter than the other guy, and that if you do die that it will be quick. And every time you pull the trigger, every time you kill, it gets easier and easier. Eventually there's just nothing left. All you've got is this... hole in you, and everything falls into it.

"And, Conrad, people can tell. They avoid you. They only come to you when they want something. You're not a person, you're some problem solving machine. And that's not something I'd ever wish on you. You've got a family, a wife, someone who loves you, and that's something some people can never, ever have. If I'm fighting the good fight, Conrad, I'm doing it for the people like you, so you never have to go through what I do."

Shepard reached down into his pockets and fished out his Commander rank insignia. "Look, Conrad... this shows my rank as a Commander in the Alliance military." He held it up where Conrad could (hopefully) see it as he explained, "I'll just leave it here." He placed it on the bedside unit next to Conrad, who said nothing. "I'd like you to keep it. Or you can sell it, if that's what you want, you might get a few credits for it."

No reply was forthcoming and Shepard didn't really expect one. He hesitated for a few seconds more, before standing up and heading for the door, "Conrad. I truly am sorry."

Conrad didn't say a word. Shepard slipped out without engaging Doctor Michel further in conversation. Suddenly vulnerable, suddenly aware of what little time they had left to prepare for Anderson's gambit, Shepard hailed a transport shuttle and let it carry him to the Presidium.

It felt hard to trigger his communications link with the _Normandy_. Shepard had deactivated it when he'd gone deep into the Wards and the shame of that act almost prevented him from letting it crackle back to life. He owed his crew better than that. It had been difficult to talk to Conrad and it would be harder to ensure that something like that never repeated itself, but Shepard would never lose control like that again. That was his resolution.

"_Normandy_, this is Shepard."

He would look his crew in the eyes and make sure that they knew he could be the leader they needed him to be. Conrad might never know of his influence, of the role he had played in stopping Saren, and that would be for the best. Conrad had a life to live and Shepard could never be a part of it.

"Commander? You're okay? I-" Joker spluttered out a surprised response. Word must have reached him of Shepard's little episode. "Sorry, sir, what can I do for you?"

"I'm on my way back to the _Normandy_. Is everything in place?"

"Final reports just coming in from Adams and Pressly now. We're good to go, ready to kick some - is Garrus around? No? - turian butt."

"Then let's do it. The hour's almost up - let's be ready to move."

"We're all ready here, Commander. Just waiting on you - but it's good to hear your voice again."

"Yeah," replied Shepard. As the_ Normandy_ came into view, he smiled. "I'm better, now."


	47. Part VIII: Silence, Ch V: Always

**Chapter V - Always**

They had done it.

They had really done it. They had stolen the _Normandy_.

The Citadel was multiple jumps behind them now, along with the Council, Udina's machinations and any sign of pursuit. Still, it wasn't an entirely positive outcome - they had lost contact with Captain Anderson shortly before the lockdown order had been rescinded, his last words being that the plan had hit a 'snag'. Shepard hoped that his old CO was okay, but they both knew the risks - nothing was more important now than the mission. Everything could be disregarded if it was necessary. And stealing the _Normandy_ had been absolutely necessary.

While stolen wasn't quite the right word in Shepard's mind, it was the only one that came to him. Along with it came another word: mutiny. If he was court-martialed, if he was stripped of his status as a Spectre, then that would be the price he would pay. But that price was insignificant compared to the destruction that would be wrought if the Reapers returned.

Shepard shook his head, fought down a yawn, and tried to focus on the monitor in front of him. He had thought he had left those thoughts behind him, back on the Citadel. He would stop Saren - and Sovereign - and deal with the consequences later.

For now, he had other, more pressing things to deal with. After all, they were less than twelve hours out. Twelve hours until whatever reckoning awaited them.

Commander Shepard fixed his computer terminal with an icy glare. It was dark in his quarters, the only light being the colors displayed by the viewscreen. At first, he had taken his mind off the recent mutiny by having the _Normandy_ VI run tactical simulations involving the _Normandy_ and Saren's estimated fleet strength - including Sovereign. It wasn't looking good. No matter how many times he ran the simulation, no matter how many times he altered the variables, the _Normandy_ was always spotted exiting the Mass Relay. Usually, they were detected and destroyed well before the stealth systems could be activated. And if the _Normandy_ evaded the Geth patrols, they were usually spotted in or just before orbit - to the same end result.

It wasn't looking good.

So, then Shepard was looking for other ways the _Normandy_ could approach Ilos. There weren't any. Then, he began analysing the _Normandy_ itself. The ship was performing well above spec. Then, he turned his mind towards the daily reports from each section head on the _Normandy_ - looking for anything that could possibly be of help. There had to be something, anything.

Because, ultimately, going up against Sovereign was looking like suicide.

There was an unexpected voice at his door. He hadn't even realised it was open, and he wondered how long the figure had been standing there.

"Commander Shepard?" Tali asked gingerly, "May I enter?"

"Of course," said Shepard, but he didn't look up from his monitor. "Make yourself at home." He indicated his rather spartan quarters. "I don't have much."

"Still working this late? You should sleep."

Shepard nodded, vaguely indicated his desk and computer. "I'm just up to my ears in reports, simulations, tactical data. Here's Adams' report on the drive core from two weeks ago, he said some very good things about you in it. And don't call me Commander," said Shepard, and he sounded so tired. He had finally looked up. "Stealing the _Normandy_ was an act of treason, if I remember my regs right. I'm not fit to hold the rank anymore."

"We're still fighting for them, Shepard. They just don't know that we are doing it."

She was out of the doorway now, coming to sit beside Shepard. The Commander didn't say anything, didn't seem to be able to look at her.

"I don't know if I can do it, Tali," He finally admitted. "We have to go up against Sovereign, who was responsible for the death of entire civilisations. It's the most powerful dreadnaught I've ever seen or heard of. The _Normandy_ doesn't have the firepower. And the last time I fought Saren he almost killed me. I keep saying to myself that I'm doing the right thing... And I never believe it. We are taking on far too much for one stealth frigate to handle. And that's not opinion, Tali, that's simple military fact."

"You can't give up hope, Shepard." Shepard turned to look at her, finally. This close, he could finally see her eyes behind her helmet.

"I haven't." They were silver.

"You_ have_." Shepard pulled away slightly at that, and Tali repeated herself. "You have. You've been different ever since Virmire. Shepard-" She paused, "John... we're not going to survive this unless our Commander finds a way to forgive himself." She reached out and took his hand, as if to keep him from pulling away again. Three fingers wrapped around five.

For Shepard, it felt like her fingers had sent a wave through his body, a wave that had liquified his ribs and now they were trying to force themselves out through his eyes, burning white hot. The last few days had suddenly piled upon him, crushing him, but above that there was an entire mountainside, sliding into an avalanche. It would crush him utterly, or wipe everything else away. Tali slowly pulled Shepard towards her, lightly wrapped an arm around him.

Couldn't she see what she was doing to him?

It hurt terribly. Shepard couldn't remember someone touching him with genuine kindness and affection in so very long. Shepard held Tali close and rested his forehead against the visor of her helmet, his breath frosting against it.

"Forgive himself?"

"For everything. For surviving. For Cerberus. For leaving Ashley behind. For... growing close to me. When I go back to the Flotilla," Tali replied, her voice barely above a whisper, "You will be alone. You have been through so much pain in your life already. I didn't... don't want you to feel more because of me."

Shepard gave a melancholic smile, "I'm used to pain." He placed Tali's hand over his heart and felt her suited hand squeeze reflexively, "It sits right here, every single day. But a long time ago I said that I'd stop living with regret, and I've succeeded at that... mostly.

"Maybe this is stupid, a dream. Maybe you don't see me in that way. And, hell, maybe that's true. But, if that's the case, then I don't think you would have come here tonight..."

Tali was silent for a moment. "But I'll leave. This... this won't change anything. The Pilgrimage..."

"And we could both die tomorrow on Ilos. All I know is that I don't want to regret not at least taking this chance to hold you in my arms."

"Even though I'm a Quarian?" Shepard understood just what she was implying in that question.

So, Shepard shrugged and, in spite of it all, he laughed a quiet laugh. He remembered something Kahoku once told him. "Well, the heart works in strange ways. It wants what it wants."

She nodded, and the two of them remained in their embrace. Shepard could have stayed there forever, might have stayed there forever if the universe didn't seem to be conspiring against them.

Saren, Sovereign, the Reapers, the Flotilla, the Council. That all seemed to fall away as Shepard focused on the woman in his arms, on her breathing, on the strange textures of her environmental suit. He felt a slight pang in his heart, that he might never actually touch her, feel her skin against his.

But that was okay.

"Tali, will you stay with me?"

"Shepard, you know I can't-"

"That's not what I meant." Shepard shook his head quickly. "You were right, I need to get some sleep. And I'd like to sleep with you."

Tali's helmet tilted almost imperceptibly to one side and, briefly, Shepard was sure she would refuse. She would say that her Pilgrimage would be more important and she'd attempt to spare him more pain by hurting him grievously now. But she took one of his hands in her own and squeezed. "I think I can manage that," she replied, a hint of a coy smile in her voice.

The fatigue had suddenly set in, what he had been putting off ever since Eden Prime, maybe ever since Mindoir, with stims and pure stubbornness. He ached all over and felt like he was shuffling over to his bunk, barely able to move. At least the commanding officer's bunk was more generous than usual.

Was Tali right? Was it as simple as just needing to forgive himself?

He looked over at Tali, who was busy undressing - at least as 'undressed' as she could become. The Quarian removed the knife sheath from her ankle, tugged off a few particularly large plates of armor, leaving it all in a neat pile on the top of his desk.

Tali slipped under the covers, her visor lightly touching against Shepard's nose, and, as Shepard stretched an arm around her, she made a pleasant sound. They drifted off to sleep.

And, as Shepard lay alongside her, there were no nightmares.


	48. Part IX: Apex, Chapter I: Landfall

**Part IX - Apex**

_"When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future." - Bernard Meltzer._

**Chapter I - Landfall**

The day of reckoning had come.

At least, that was how it felt to Shepard as he strode on to the _Normandy's_ command deck. It was strange - he felt refreshed, renewed. He felt like he had actually had a good night's sleep for once. Even when he had been woken by Joker's report that they were about to journey through the Relay to Ilos, he was instantly alert. Today, he was ready to take on the whole galaxy before breakfast but, in a pinch, he would settle for Saren.

Tali followed him out of the cabin and they passed Kaidan, who was directing a set of junior officers. The rest of his squad was no doubt waking up - if they had even slept at all - and readying themselves for the fight to come.

There was no trepidation any more. There was no fear. There was only one fact - today, one way or another, the hunt for Saren would end.

Joker turned his head to glance at Shepard as the Commander approached, "Ah, Commander, good. We just cleared the Relay and we've got company. Geth warships, looks like an orbital patrol."

Those were not the words that Shepard wanted to hear.

"Have their sensors picked us up yet?" Shepard asked.

"Stealth systems are engaged," Joker replied, "Unless they can get close enough for a visual, they won't have any idea we are here."

"The Geth, at least," Shepard said, "Sovereign's an unknown."

"See, that's the thing, Commander. I'm not seeing any ships of that size in the local area. Sovereign's not here. In fact," Joker drew out that last word for a few long moments as he scrutinised his displays, "There's not many Geth ships here at all. There wasn't even a rearguard at the other end of the Relay."

"I suppose things can work out-"

"Picking up some strange readings from the planet's surface." That was Navigator Pressly. He handed over a small datapad to Shepard who set about studying the contents.

Shepard jabbed a finger down on the set of readings that indicated an unexpected energy spike. Whatever it was down there was putting out a lot of energy. "That has to be Saren or the Conduit. Either way, take us down, Joker - lock on to those coordinates."

"Negative on that, Commander," Pressly cut in and shook his head, "The nearest landing zone is two klicks away."

"Unacceptable. We don't know how close Saren is to finding the Conduit - we need something closer."

"There is nowhere closer!" replied Pressly, "I've looked!"

"Then drop us in the Mako. We don't need to put the _Normandy_ down."

"But you need at least a hundred metres of open terrain to pull off a drop like that! The most I can find near Saren is twenty! And twenty metres? There's no way we can get the Mako in with a drop like that! As your Executive Officer, I must-"

Shepard felt his voice growing hot and hard as he hit Pressly with an ultimatum: "Drop the Mako or find another landing zone!"

Pressly's voice met Shepard's own in fierce opposition, "There is no other landing zone!"

Tali made her way over to Pressly's monitors and confirmed his assessment. "The descent angle's too steep!" she said, turning her head to face the rest of them. "The velocity might smash the Mako to pieces on impact!"

"It's our only option."

"It's not an option - it's a suicide run!" Kaidan put in, joining in on the commotion that had consumed the _Normandy's_ cockpit. "You can't-"

"I can do it."

The voice was so quiet and determined that Shepard almost missed it.

"Joker? You sure?"

Joker nodded. He reached up and removed his cap, setting it aside. "I can do it."

That was all the assurance that Shepard needed. He sounded a general alert, "This is Shepard to ground team - suit up and board the Mako! This is a scramble alert! Joker, drop us right on top of that bastard."

* * *

Inside the Mako, armed and armored, Tali reached over and squeezed Shepard's hand through his gauntlet.

Wrex let out a little, amused noise. Which, for the Krogan, was little more than a deep, throaty grunt. If the secret wasn't out before, it certainly was now.

"Here we go," Tali said, "Over the top."

In spite of it all, Shepard smiled. It was strange how tranquil he felt, even with memories of Virmire rising to the surface. "No, not over the top. No one's dying today - except Saren. We're all going home once we end this."

Wrex shrugged his massive shoulders, "I'm fine with dying, providing it's with my hands around Saren's throat."

"You'll be wasting your time," Garrus called from the driver's seat, "I'll be putting a bullet in him first!"

Kaidan's entrance to the conversation was cut short by a blaring klaxon and Shepard reached for the crash harness in his seat.

"We're dropping! Everyone, strap in and hold on!"

This would be nothing like the Mako drop on Nepheron. There, the_ Normandy_ had almost casually dropped the Mako from a high - but safe - distance. It had been turmultous but the outcome was never truly in doubt. This landing, however, was going to be rough. Shepard took a deep breath.

The Mako shuddered and Shepard suddenly felt like his stomach was about to flip inside out. They were in freefall.

The feeling of freefall, the sensation of vertigo, felt like it ended before it had truly begun. The Mako shuddered again, with force that felt like it would shatter Shepard's bones. There was a sharp pain and he tasted copper in his mouth - he must have bitten his tongue. He felt the Mako slide, heard the wheels struggle to find traction, heard Garrus struggle with the vehicle up in the control compartment.

"Landfall!" Garrus called, "And - by the spirits! - we are right on target! It's Saren!"

Shepard was already disentangling himself from his harness and stuck his head in to the forward compartment. Garrus was right. There was Saren, flanked by a squad of Geth platforms. He wasn't moving and the Geth weren't firing.

Saren was about to pay the price for that mistake.

Shepard nodded, "Run him over, Garrus."

Garrus smiled, mandibles clicking. "With pleasure, Commander."

Garrus gunned the engine and the Mako leapt forward like an unchained attack dog. Saren regarded the Mako impassively, utterly unimpressed with his impending annihilation beneath the Mako's six wheels. Shepard suddenly felt unsettled; Saren's reputation as a ruthless strategist would never let him expose himself without an ace in the hole. It couldn't be this easy.

"Garrus!" Shepard barked, "Brake! Brake now!"

The combination of C-Sec training and Garrus' own dutiful nature led to Garrus putting the Mako into a hard slew, turning side-on in a controlled spin. It was that quick action that saved the Mako and everyone in it as a monolithic shield wall erupted from the ground barely three feet in front of them. The Mako would have dashed itself to pieces against that barrier. The path forward was now cut off completely.

And, worse, it had cut them off from Saren.

"Damnit!" Shepard snarled, "Everyone out! We'll proceed on foot!"

The squad exited in double time. Time had always been of the essence but now, without their transportation, it seemed likely that Saren would evade them and seize the Conduit before they could stop him. That was unacceptable, there had to be a way past that barrier.

Ilos was... haunting. It was a strange thought; Shepard didn't feel as if that was how he would have once described a virtually intact Prothean city but it was the first word that came to mind. From what he could see, everything around him and his squad was virtually untouched, the intricate stonework unmarred by any sort of damage, but completely empty and silent, as if the people had just, one day, vanished. The orange sunset casting a vaguely ominous glow on the empty architecture didn't help matters.

Shepard had seen worlds like this before, he knew it now, in the vision from the Prothean beacon. Worlds just like this one, extinguished of all life by the Reapers, left as empty and desolate husks. Ilos felt like a tomb, one that had been left undisturbed for thousands of years.

Shepard couldn't shake that ominous feeling. Something terrible had happened here.

Kaidan's voice broke him out of his thoughts, "Well, what do we do now? We can't get past that door."

"What about explosives?" asked Wrex, "Or the Mako's cannon?"

"We brought standard grenades. Even with the Mako firing, it's not enough to crack something like that."

"Then we find a way to open it," Shepard said. "There'd have to be a way to override that gate - and it has to be powered by something. Tali, I want you to scan the area. If there's any sources of power, anything that might be feeding power to the security of this place, I want you to track it down."

"Of course, Commander. One moment."

"Kaidan, I want you to remain with the Mako. We can't leave it unguarded. And, if that gate happens to come down before we find its power source, you can let us know. We'll be back here ASAP."

"Understood, Commander."

"And the rest of us?" growled Wrex.

Shepard pulled his assault rifle from his back. "Let's go hunting."


	49. Part IX: Apex, Chapter II: Vigil

**Chapter II - Vigil**

Hunting appeared to be an incorrect assumption. The Geth weren't hiding. They came in squads of three or four, throwing themselves against Shepard and his team without any regard for their own lives. Even synthetic as they were, Shepard had never seen this level of straightforward, stupid fighting. Geth were intelligent and utterly amoral, intent on nothing else but logical victory. They didn't just throw their lives away.

But to Shepard it seemed as if the Geth were doing little more than serving as a rearguard, or as a delaying action. And it seemed to be working - Shepard was no closer to finding his way past that barrier. Saren was going to find the Conduit and there was nothing he could do about it.

Frustrated, Shepard kicked one of the broken Geth that littered the room - it was missing its head. Wrex was methodically moving from Geth to Geth, ensuring that there was no risk of them reactivating. The rest of Shepard's team fanned out, setting up firing lines and vantage points around ancient monuments and statues of hideous creatures (Were they Protheans, Shepard wondered), as Kaidan and Tali scoured the area for the systems that were feeding power to the curtain door that had almost cut the Mako in two.

"Commander!" Tali said, her omni-tool up in front of her, casting an orange glow over her visor. "I've located the terminal that's feeding power to the security door!"

"Status?"

"Barely functional. Liara's already working on it. The door should be down in moments-"

And that was when an unknown voice, old and ancient, crackled to life. An indistinct projection blinked into existence in one corner of the room. It was obscured by static and feedback, barely comprehensible, but what Shepard could make out still chilled him to his core.

_"...too late... unable to... invading fleets... no escape ...not safe... seek refuge... called Reapers... the Citadel... overwhelmed... only hope... too many, too many... act of desperation... no time... the Conduit... cannot be stopped... all is lost, all is lost, all is lost-"_

The recording continued, looping over and over, repeating the frantic final moments of a long dead Prothean. Shepard looked to his squad members and they seemed impassive, if not confused. It occurred to Shepard then that, without the Cipher, none of them could comprehend the ancient warning.

But something felt..._ wrong_. The Cipher, the collective knowledge of the Prothean species, was insisting that there was something more here.

Shepard made his way over to the control panel that Liara and Tali were standing by. Liara looked up as he approached, "My apologies, Commander. I activated the terminal and rerouted the power with Tali's assistance... but it appeared to activate an old recording. It must be one of the last surviving Prothean records on Ilos."

Shepard nodded, "It's okay, Liara. But hearing something like that isn't exactly reassuring. I'm just going to take a look at this terminal." Shepard turned his eyes on the control panel. "I feel like there's... something else here." A brief burst of inspiration from somewhere unknown led Shepard to tap a series of commands into the console.

The holographic emitter flickered, the distorted image still failing to resolve itself into clarity, but the voice wasn't frantic now, it was calm, almost serene amongst the ruins.

"You are not Prothean," the voice said, "But you are not machine either. This eventuality is one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warning through the beacon network."

"Sounds like a VI program," Tali surmised, "But it is pretty badly damaged."

"You can understand it?" Shepard asked. It hadn't immediately occurred to him, but Shepard suddenly realised that the Prothean VI had been communicating in English.

"I have been monitoring your communications since you arrived at this facility," the VI stated, "I do not sense the taint of indoctrination upon any of you, unlike the other who passed recently. Our plan was successful, perhaps there is still hope. I have translated my output into a format you will be able to comprehend. You are safe here for the moment, but that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe."

"What are you?" Shepard asked and then, thinking of the eloquence of the VI's words, thought of a better question: "_Who_ are you?"

"I am an advanced non-organic analysis system with personality imprints from Ksad Ishan, chief overseer of the Ilos research facility. My name is Vigil."

"Very well, Vigil. My name is Commander John Shepard and this is my team. I assume you know about the Reapers? We're here to stop their return."

"Yes. You are here because you must break the cycle that has continued for millions of years. But to stop it you must understand our failures, or you will make the same mistakes we did."

"I don't have time for a history lesson."

"I will relay my information as quickly as possible." Vigil replied, "You are aware of the Citadel. If all things have proceeded along their designed paths, the Citadel is the heart of your civilization and the seat of your government, as it was with us and with every civilization that came before us... but the Citadel is a trap."

"A trap?" Liara whispered.

"The station is actually an enormous Mass Relay," Vigil clarified, "One that links to dark space, the empty void beyond the galaxy's horizon. When the Citadel relay is activated, the Reapers will pour through and all you know will be destroyed."

Shepard frowned, "And no one has figured this out?"

"The Reapers are careful to keep the true extent of their power hidden, that is why they created a species of seemingly benign organic caretakers. The Keepers maintain the station's most basic functions. They enable any species that discovers the Citadel to use it without fully understanding the exact technological processes behind it. Reliance on the Keepers ensures that no other species will ever discover the Citadel's true nature, not until the Relay is activated and the Reapers invade."

"But from where, exactly? Why haven't we seen any sign of them before now?"

"We have only theories. The researchers here hypothesised that the Reapers enter prolonged states of inactivity to conserve energy. This allows them to survive the thousands of years it takes for organic civilizations to rebuild themselves. But in this state, they would be vulnerable. By retreating beyond the edges of the galaxy, they ensure that no one will accidentally discover them. They keep their existence hidden... until the Citadel Relay is activated."

"That's it!" Kaidan burst out, "They can be beaten! Sovereign can be beaten! Why else would they hide?"

Shepard, on the other hand, felt only a growing sense of horror. His face felt hard, grim. "But this means that the Reapers can wipe out the Council and the Citadel fleet all in one big surprise attack! They'll never know that they're coming!"

"As was our fate," Vigil said, softly, "Our leaders were dead before we even realized we were under attack. The Reapers seized control of the Citadel in the first wave and, through it, took control of the Mass Relays. The Relays went dark in an instant. Communications and transportation across all of galactic space was crippled. Each star system was isolated, cut off from the others... and easy prey for the Reaper fleets. From there, the Reapers proceeded to systematically obliterate our people. World by world, system by system, they methodically wiped us out."

"Did they communicate? Did they ask for a surrender?"

"No offer of surrender was ever given. It appears that our enemy had a single goal: to usher in the extinction of all advanced organic life. When the Citadel fell, the Reapers had access to all our records, our maps, our census data. Information is power... and the Reapers had all the information they could desire.

"The Reapers moved through all the civilised regions of the galaxy and they began their harvest - some worlds were utterly destroyed, others were conquered, their populations rendered into their thralls. These indoctrinated servants became sleeper agents under Reaper control. When they were taken in as refugees by other Protheans, they betrayed them to the machines. Within only a few centuries, the Reapers had killed or indoctrinated every Prothean in the galaxy. The Reapers were relentless, brutal and absolutely thorough."

"You mentioned a harvest? So it's not a simple mission of destruction?"

"Yes. Many of our worlds were stripped bare, harvested by indoctrinated slaves. Everything of value was taken - all resources, all technology. There would be nothing left behind as evidence of organic life once the harvest had been completed. The Reapers retreated back through the Citadel Relay and past the galactic rim. Time was another of their weapons as, eventually, all evidence of the Reaper invasion had been wiped away. Only their indoctrinated thralls were left behind, abandoned, mindless husks that were no longer capable of independent thought. Without their masters, the indoctrinated soon starved or died of exposure. And, with that, the genocide of the Protheans was complete."

"How about their reasoning? What about any sort of intelligence in regards to their motives?"

"Unclear. The Reapers are alien, they claim to be unknowable. Hypotheses indicate that perhaps they need slaves or resources. It is more likely that they are driven by a motivation that organic species cannot comprehend. In the end, what does it matter? Your survival depends on stopping them, not in understanding them."

That... was an oddly confronational question, Shepard thought, but he did not voice it, choosing instead to let Vigil continue.

"The Conduit is the key. Before the Reapers attacked, we were on the cusp of unlocking the mysteries behind the Mass Relay network. Ilos was a top secret facility. Here, researchers worked to create a small-scale version of a Mass Relay. One that linked directly to the Citadel - the hub of the Relay network."

"And the Reapers didn't find you?"

"Yes. All official records of our project were destroyed in the initial attack on the Citadel. While the Prothean Empire was extinguished, Ilos was spared. We severed all communications with the outside and our facility went dark. The personnel retreated into these archives. To conserve resources, everyone was put into cryogenic stasis. I was programmed to monitor the facility and awaken them when the danger had passed... but the genocide of an entire species, of an entire galaxy, is a long and slow process. Years passed. Decades passed. Centuries passed. And my energy reserves were dwindling."

Wrex growled, "And you hid when you could have fought."

"As if one world would have made a difference against the death of an entire galaxy, Wrex," Garrus shot back.

Vigil continued to explain. "We were a few hundred against a force whose numbers were beyond reckoning. Our only hope was to remain undetected. I began to disable the life support of non-essential personnel. First support staff, then security. One by one, their stasis pods were shut down to conserve energy. Eventually only the stasis pods of the top scientists remained active. Even these were in danger of failing when the Reapers finally withdrew back through the Citadel Relay."

Liara gasped. "But there were hundreds of stasis pods out there! You just... shut them down? You _killed_ them?"

"Yes," Vigil replied, without emotion, without guilt. "There was no alternative. This outcome was not completely unforeseen. My actions were the result of a contingency programming entered on my creation, to be utilised in the event of an unforeseen galactic cataclysm."

"Yeah," Garrus said, "And I bet no one told the non-essential staff this when they signed up."

"I am vindicated by history - I saved key personal. When the Reapers retreated, the top scientists were still alive. When the survivors awoke, they realized the Prothean species was doomed and that their civilisation was extinct. With only a dozen individuals left, they were too few to sustain a viable population. They vowed to find some way to stop the Reapers from returning. A way to break the cycle forever. The Keepers were the key."

"The key to what?" Shepard asked.

"The Keepers are controlled by the Citadel. It was determined that before each invasion, a signal was sent to the Citadel, one that compelled the Keepers to activate the Relay to dark space. After decades of feverish study, the scientists discovered a way to prevent this. Using the Conduit, they gained access to the Citadel and made the modifications. When the Reaper vanguard, the one that now calls itself Sovereign, first attempted to signal the Reapers approximately two thousand years ago, the Keepers ignored it. The Reapers are trapped in dark space."

"And so Sovereign enlisted Saren in order to gain access to the Citadel's control systems, to manually override your modifications."

"Only he screwed up, and was listed as a rogue Spectre," Garrus put in, "And now he's looking for-"

"-a backdoor in. The Conduit."

"Yes," replied Vigil, always patient. "The one you call Saren will use the Conduit to bypass the Citadel's defenses. Once inside, he will transfer control of the station to Sovereign. Sovereign will override the Citadel's systems and manually open the Relay. And the cycle of extinction will begin anew."

"You've been sitting here for fifty thousand years, Vigil. I sure hope you've got something to offer me other than history. We need it."

"Yes. Our final weapon against the machines. I have accessed your systems, primitive as they are, and provided you with a data file. Upload this file into the Citadel's central control systems. This should prevent Sovereign from activating the Relay. Time is advancing and I fear our conversation has delayed you even if I have delayed Saren. To reach the Conduit as quickly as possible, proceed through the aqueduct network. Your vehicle, primitive as it is, will suffice. There is still time - the one you call Saren has not reached the Conduit."

"Thank you, Vigil."

"I am here to serve. I will take myself offline to preserve processing power. It is my hope that we meet again... and that your civilisation fares better than my own."

* * *

The Mako roared past the barrier and through a tunnel, the six wheels kicking up dirt behind them as Shepard drove the Mako hard towards the Conduit - the energy spike on the sensors could be nothing else. The Geth had arrayed many of their infantry platforms in advantageous positions but the Mako's kinetic barriers were proof against their weaponry.

Shepard let the Mako slide down the walls of the Prothean aqueduct system, the canals and trenches being so gargantuan that they could almost fit the _Normandy_ inside, and hoped they wouldn't be too late.

Still, his thoughts kept returning to what Vigil had said.

The Protheans had constructed wonders such as these aqueducts, the skytowers on Feros, the Beacon network, and they had been crushed by the Reapers. They had been duped, just as the current civilisations of the galaxy had been, into accepting the cursed gift of the Citadel and its Relay network. It was this, more than anything else, that allowed the Reapers to wipe the galaxy clean. Certainly, the Reapers had numbers and firepower on their side, but it was misdirection, more than anything else, that guaranteed their victory.

Perhaps, then, the Reapers were not as powerful as they believed.

Perhaps, then, they were afraid.

Perhaps, then, there was still a chance.

* * *

As much as Shepard tried to focus on driving, he couldn't shake Vigil's words from his mind.

If Vigil was correct, the Reapers were harvesting the galaxy. They were intergalactic farmers, letting civilisation develop along the paths that they desirde - Sovereign had even said as much - before reaping their crops. The question then became, what exactly were they reaping, and why. They took resources and technology, everything of value, Vigil had said. Was it, then, that this was their perverse way of improving themselves? Were the Reapers utilising he citizens of the galaxy and any modifications they had made to their technology to enhance their capabilities?

Perhaps.

One thing was clear to Shepard now, however. The Reapers were on a strict timetable. For whatever reason, they had to purge the galaxy every fifty thousand years. Perhaps, Shepard thought, that this was the most optimal time for them to attain resources and technology without risking casualties. And now Sovereign was two thousand years overdue.

The Reapers weren't inscrutable, they weren't omniscient. They could make mistakes.

Vigil might have given them a data file but the VI had given them so much more.

Vigil had given them the most powerful weapon of all - hope.

Shepard's reverie was broken by an astounded gasp from Liara. "That's the Conduit, it's incredible!"

The Conduit resembled nothing more than a miniature Mass Relay, perhaps a dozen metres in height, at the bottom of the slope they now found themselves on. It occured to Shepard that it was the splitting image of the Mass Relay monument on the Citadel. It had been hiding in plain sight for as long as the Citadel had been colonised.

And it was spinning, glowing with an active element zero core. Saren must have made use of it but, by Shepard's reckoning, they wouldn't be far behind him.

"How're we going to get through?" Kaidan asked. "Surely we need a ship."

The Mako's active combat sensors pinged suddenly. Something - four somethings - were powering up and going weapons hot.

"We've got Geth!" Tali reported as she analysed the displays, "I'm counting four Colossus platforms!"

Four. The number was almost staggering. They had faced one Colossus on Virmire and the quadruped war machine had been a dangerous foe there. Even with the Mako's firepower, Shepard knew there was no way they could win a stand up fight against four of them.

But they didn't have to. They just had to reach the Conduit...

...In the face of unprecedented, overwhelming firepower.

"Wrex, get on the main gun. Tali, I want you to keep our kinetic barriers operating as long as possible."

"Shepard," Kaidan said, "Wouldn't it be better if we avoided their shots?"

"Probably," Shepard agreed, "But we can't risk the Conduit-"

"Energy levels are beginning to decrease!" Tali said, alarmed, "The Conduit is closing!"

"Damn!" Shepard snarled, and he pushed the Mako to the limits of its acceleration, putting the vehicle on a direct course for the Conduit. "We've only got one option! Everyone strap in and hold on to something!"

"There's no way the Mako can survive relay transit!" Kaidan warned.

"Do you see any other options!?"

The Mako charged down the slope, towards the glowing structure. The Mako shook as it ran over the uneven ground and again as its cannon blasted away at the closets Colossus. Through the viewports, Shepard could glimpse a azure charge building around the heads of the Geth war machines.

"Energy spike!" reported Tali, "Incoming fire!"

The Mako shuddered under the four powerful blasts as each Colossus found its mark. A warning alarm alerted Shepard to the fact that Mako had lost its kinetic barriers and was now defenceless. There was no chance they would survive another barrage like that. One shot would almost certainly result in a mission kill on the Mako, if not destroy it outright.

"Kinetic barriers are down!" Tali warned and Shepard could suddenly smell the acrid stench of smoke. Something was burning inside the Mako. "Attempting to reroute power through secondary relays!"

Wrex yelled, "Cannon is running hot, Shepard! I can't keep them from drawing a bead on us!"

"Five seconds until total power less throughout the Conduit!"

The Conduit was so close now. The miniature Mass Relay was glowing bright enough to force Shepard to tear his eyes from it, the spinning rings that marked the centre of the relic, spinning impossibly fast. One Colossus, as if sensing Shepard's plan, moved to place itself between the Mako and its target.

There was no way they could afford to maneuver around it.

"Everyone hang on!"Shepard called, "This is going to be rough!"

The Mako slammed into the Colossus, shearing the Geth platform's legs off at the knee joint. Sparks flew in dazzling arcs. Something popped inside the Mako and another series of alarms and warning lights came to life as the Mako shuddered as if in the hands on an angry giant. There was a hideous explosion and the vehicle slewed hard to the left as one of the wheels was blasted into shrapnel and debris. Someone was screaming and Shepard realised that it was his voice as he struggled with the Mako's controls.

And then, there it was, the unique feeling of vertigo that marked passage through a Relay.

The Mako lurched upwards, inertial dampeners failing to counteract the sheer power of the Conduit, and its chassis, not designed to withstand what Shepard was putting it through, screamed along with him. And then it was like stars exploded behind his eyes, leaving aftershocks in his ears, and Shepard blacked out.


	50. Part IX: Apex, Chapter III: Precipice

**Chapter III - Precipice**

All was darkness. Smoke filled his nostrils and clogged everything with its acrid stench. It was hot, something was burning. Voices, distant and far away. For a moment, Shepard was back on Mindoir.

"John!"

And _she_ was calling his name.

Shepard took a breath and found himself coughing his mind back to awareness. The spectres of the past were banished away, after all, there were enough demons to focus on in the present. His eyes, bleary and unfocused, watering from the smoke, found themselves reflected in Tali's visor. It was a comforting, welcome sight.

Even if she was upside down.

No, it occurred to Shepard that _he _was upside down. The Mako must have been flipped on its roof during transit, or perhaps during landing, and Shepard was suddenly aware of the blood pounding in his ears.

All in all, a small price to pay for leaping halfway across the galaxy in a ground vehicle.

Tali sighed in relief as his eyes flickered open, "Keelah, you're okay! By the Fleet, I almost thought you were-"

"I'm okay," Shepard replied, his voice gravelly from smoke inhalation, and as much to reassure himself as it was for her. "Status?"

"Everyone is okay! I can't believe this - we have travelled all the way across the galaxy in the Mako. This is-"

"Unbelievable, yes. I need to get out of this harness before I pass out again."

"Watch your head," Tali advised and passed Shepard his helmet as he began the awkward work of disentangling himself from his crash harness.

* * *

Shepard crawled out of the Mako and found himself on the Presidium. His head was still spinning, disorientated from his prolonged inverted period, and he could still smell smoke.

It took Shepard a moment to realise just why he could smell smoke. It wasn't because of a nightmare clinging to his hindbrain and it wasn't because of the Mako, even if it was wrecked, burning and unusable.

It was worse - much worse.

The whole Presidium seemed to be on fire. The picturesque grasslands and trees smouldered and burned, clogging the atmospheric processors with smoke. The lakes and water features were grey and murky with ash. Embers floated through the air. Bodies, both human and alien, lay scattered across the ground. The many monuments had been damaged and scarred by weapons fire. The Geth must have emerged from the Relay monument, just as the Mako must have, and had immediately began laying waste to everything they saw. There would have been no warning and nothing C-Sec could have done to prevent the wholesale slaughter.

Even the Keepers had been massacred, Shepard could see. The enigmatic insectoid aliens had been shot dead where they worked - Sovereign's revenge for their inconvenience.

Nothing but smoke and death, it was Eden Prime all over again.

Where was Anderson? Or Udina? Doctor Michel? Or even Conrad? There was no way to contact any of them, the Citadel's systems were being overworked by C-Sec and official requests. And there was no time to do so in any case. Shepard found himself unconsciously checking the bodies that lay around the wrecked Mako's crash site but none of them appeared to be people that he knew.

There were approximately thirteen million people aboard the Citadel at any one time. How many of them had already been murdered?

It was only a small consolation that Shepard's team had weathered the interstellar journey better than he had. There weapons were up, ready for anything, as Kaidan and Liara checked the bodies around them for signs of life. They didn't appear to be finding any - the Geth were thorough.

Shepard could still hear weapons fire in the distance, even over the constant announcements to head to the emergency shelters. At least the Geth were being slowed by the Citadel defenders. Still, it was just a reminder that many more people would die if they did not stop Saren and more still if they could not prevent Sovereign from calling the Reapers back from dark space.

They just needed to know where he was. Time was now, more than ever, of the essence.

Garrus was looking at a pair of bodies, sprawled over the ground and broken by gunfire. They were clad in C-Sec hardsuits, much like his own.

"I knew these people," Garrus was saying and his mandibles flickered, "And now they're dead."

"The Geth struck without warning," Shepard replied, "At least they died protecting others, Garrus. We just need to find Saren and end this."

"Right. I know. I just never imagined seeing the Citadel like this." Garrus paused and flipped up a panel on his hardsuit, activating an integrated computer system.

"I still have access to C-Sec systems," Garrus said, "If Saren is here, the Citadel VI will track him down. There, Saren Arterius, taking an elevator to the Citadel Tower. He's almost to the top."

"He's heading for the Council chambers," Shepard surmised, "Makes sense to house any central control systems there. Hopefully the Council has evacuated by now."

"The Citadel is closed, Shepard, and I'm hearing reports of a battle outside the station with a sizeable Geth armada. There is nowhere they could have run to."

"There's always hope. Let's move, Saren can't escape us now."

The squad hurried into one of the elevators that rose from the Presidium to the top of the Citadel Tower. Saren was trapped, there were no other ways in or out, but Shepard couldn't shake the fact the ominous thought that perhaps the rogue Spectre wanted it this way.

Only one of them would be walking away from their reckoning.

The elevator came to a sudden stop. It was so jarring that, if the squad hadn't been pressed together in the too-small space, Shepard knew he would have lost his footing.

"Warning," the Citadel VI, Avina, chimed. "System lockdown, elevator disabled. Please await maintenance teams."

"You have got to be kidding me," Garrus muttered.

"Saren must know where we are," Kaidan said.

Shepard frowned. That was a snag. Still, there was only one way to go - up - and there was more than one way of getting there.

Shepard drew his sidearm and levelled it at the translucent walls of the elevator capsule. Outside, instead of the purple Widow nebula, he could only see the Citadel's arms and the lights of the Wards. The Citadel had closed itself, becoming a cylinder as it wrapped the Wards around the central ring, bathing everything in the ominous orange-red glow of emergency lighting. No one was getting in or out until the crisis had ended - one way or another.

"Suit up," Shepard barked, "And brace yourselves. We're going outside."


	51. Part IX: Apex, Chapter IV: Underground R

**Chapter IV - Underground Rain**

Shepard's pistol shot shattered the glass of the Citadel Tower elevator, the small shards seeming to float serenely in the vacuum outside.

Shepard swung out in to the hard vacuum with the ease of hundreds of spacewalk exercises. He triggered the boots of his hardsuit to magnetise to the exterior of the Citadel Tower and tried to orientate himself. The Citadel's artificial gravity, combined with his current bearing, was making his inner ear go haywire. Shepard's breathing was loud and hard in his ears, the only sound he could hear.

"I'm out," Shepard reported, "Sensors are empty. We're clear, let's move."

His squad fanned out behind him. It was hard to believe that they were going to walk to the top of the Citadel Tower. Luckily, it looked like the elevator had taken them most of the way, but it was still quite the hike. A hike up a tall, flat surface with very little in the way of cover. If the Geth had sharpshooters, it would become the universe's shortest spacewalk.

However, as they began to climb, not even the Geth seemed to be confident enough to force a zero-gee engagement.

Shepard tried to ignore the strange sense of disorientation that still lingered in his ears; he had to focus on the objective. Saren was at the top of the tower, within the Council chambers, in a mad attempt to give control of the station to Sovereign. From there, the Reapers would return... and the end would follow with them.

Saren would never leave the tower. Shepard would never let him succeed. The Reapers were not going to return. Not today, not ever.

Shepard looked upwards, or, to his perspective, forwards and immediately wished he hadn't.

Sovereign sat atop the Citadel Tower like a malignant god. Its tentacles - or maybe its legs? Its claw? Its hand? - had latched on to the top of the tower and now the Reaper sat there, immobile. It was huge, dwarfing even the largest Alliance dreadnaught, and Shepard found himself just as astounded by the Reaper's dark magnificence as the first time he had seen it on Eden Prime.

The Reaper shifted and twitched ever so slightly, its tentacle-fingers flexing almost imperceptibly, as if it were alive. Shepard felt as if he could hear it breathing. It was a bizarre thought, nothing could breathe in a vacuum, but it was one he could not shake. Sovereign was no mere starship, nor was it no mere AI. It was something else, something eldritch and ancient, something that had been responsible for the death of entire civilisations.

And it was right there, looming above them.

"By the Goddess," Liara's voice crackled in Shepard's ear, "That is Sovereign? That is what wiped out the Protheans?"

"I can see why the Geth view it as a deity," Tali replied.

"Huh," Wrex didn't sound terribly impressed, "Whatever it is, it dies. There's an old saying on Tuchanka: the bigger they are, the more impressive the kill."

"We have something similar," said Kaidan, "But I don't think this is exactly what they had in mind."

"Let's focus on Saren," Garrus put in, "And let the fleets deal with Sovereign. All we need to do is get the arms open."

Shepard wondered if Sovereign was aware of them and their conversation, scurrying around its feet like ants around a titan, utterly unable to comprehend what stood before them. Would Sovereign take notice of them and swat the entire squad with the same effort that one might expend in crushing a gnat?

As they climbed, with the titan's shadow now falling over them, Sovereign made no gesture that it was aware of them. It made no apocalyptic proclamations as it had on Virmire. Its attention must have been elsewhere. Shepard took some small solace in the fact that he was never too aware of the ants around his own feet. At least, not until they started stinging him.

And they were going to deliver one hell of a sting to Sovereign.

Shepard tore his eyes from the Reaper and continued his trek up the Citadel tower. At least, with Sovereign looming in front of him, he wasn't about to look down.


	52. Part IX: Apex, Chapter V: Reckoning

**Chapter V - Reckoning**

The nightmare that Shepard had encountered in the Presidium continued into the Council Tower itself. There were more bodies, more flames, more dead Keepers, more signs of indiscriminate slaughter. As for the Geth, the ones responsible for it all, any signs of them appeared to be conspicuously absent.

It did nothing to reassure Shepard.

"Be alert," Shepard advised his team. "Saren's here and I don't expect he's going to play by the rules, not with so much at stake."

His team advanced, ready for anything, but no Geth came at them from the shadows. Gunfire did not rain down upon them from the raised platforms surrounding the Council podium or down from the steps that led towards it. There was only a single solitary figure ahead of them. Ever since Virmire, Shepard could not forget that distinctive silhouette - it was Saren.

But it also wasn't Saren, not any more. Not completely. Glowing cybernetics riddled Saren's body, pipes and wires and circuitry ran like a maze across and through Saren's form, intertwining through his musculature and skin, and his black eyes burned with an electric-blue incandescence. His left arm, the arm that Garrus had shredded on Virmire, now resembled the limb of a Geth platform, as if it had been grafted on at the shoulder.

And the glowing electric blue cybernetics reminded Shepard of nothing more than...

...a _husk._

"I was afraid that you wouldn't make it in time, Shepard," Saren said conversationally from the Council podium, "Still, you are just in time to be crushed by inevitability. You've lost, you know that, don't you? In a few minutes, Sovereign will have total control of all the Citadel's systems. The relay will open... and the Reapers will return."

"I almost killed you on Virmire," Shepard replied, balling his hands unconsciously, "I'll finish this here and now."

Saren shrugged and corrected Shepard, "You _survived_ our encounter on Virmire. But I've... changed since then, improved. Sovereign has... upgraded me."

"You let Sovereign implant you? Are you insane?!"

"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard." Saren continued, "After Virmire, I couldn't stop thinking about what you said about Sovereign manipulating me, about indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me. Sovereign sensed my... hesitation. I was implanted to strengthen my resolve. Now, my doubts are gone. I believe in Sovereign completely. But I understand now that the Reapers need organics. Join us, and Sovereign will find a place for you as well."

"Did they find a place for the Protheans, too?" Shepard sneered.

The verbal jab went unnoticed by Saren, or perhaps he simply did not care. "Sovereign recognises your value; you've _impressed_ it, Shepard. Surrender to the Reapers, all of you, and be spared. This is my promise. My covenant with Sovereign will ensure your safety!"

Shepard didn't believe a word of it. He had studied enough history to know the consequences of dealing with tyrants, of listening to the honeyed words of madmen. This may have been the exact promise made in Vigil's time - until the Protheans discovered the price for believing the words of ancient machine gods. The Reapers could not be bargained with. Subterfuge was just one of the tools in their employ, a weapon like any other.

And it had proven to be an effective one in Saren's case.

"My God, Saren," Shepard shook his head, "Who am I talking to here, you or Sovereign?"

"The relationship is symbiotic," Saren replied, "Organic and synthetic intertwined in a union of flesh and steel. The strength of both, the weaknesses of neither! I am the future! The evolution of all organic life! This is our destiny! Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!"

"Death creates nothing, Saren." Shepard tossed his helmet to the side, "Let's finish this, you and me, let's sort our destinies out right here and now."

"So be it, Shepard." Saren began to step down towards the stairs, intent on finishing what the two of them had started on Virmire. Shepard waved his team away - this was between him and Saren.

"And when you lie broken at the bottom of these steps," Saren growled, "I want you to remember this moment, and know that I gave you a chance to end this slaughter."

Shepard roared and charged to meet Saren. He met him halfway up the steps and Shepard grasped him in a hold, wrapped his arms around him, and let them both tumble back down. The both came up, bruised and bloody. Saren was fast, like a viper, but Shepard hammered his armoured gauntlet into Saren's thick facial plating and savaged him with a brutal kick to the midsection and the soft organs within.

A blow like that would have had anyone retching, winded, bringing up blood - but Saren, with Sovereign burning in his mind, was beyond such trivialities.

Saren had been fast on Virmire, and he was faster still now. The battle, Shepard realised, was his to dictate. Shepard slipped into a defensive posture and let the turian batter away at his forearm armor, even as he became aware that Saren's blows were actually _denting_ the thick material. He was faster and he was also stronger. Much stronger. The sheer power that Sovereign had imbued Saren would have been incredible to behold, if Shepard wasn't the one defending against it.

Shepard went to pull his pistol, intent on repeating the maneuver that had wounded Saren on Virmire, but Saren must have guessed Shepard's intention and counter-attacked. Saren knocked the pistol from his grip and it sailed away, clattering somewhere distant. Saren's fist speared out, impacting the torso plating on Shepard's hardsuit. The material cracked and Shepard felt the air whoosh out of his lungs. Shepard immediately slugged Saren with his other hand, knocking the rogue Spectre around, and tried to give himself space to think - and to breathe. How could he defeat an opponent that was faster, stronger and tougher than him?

There was no finesse in their blows. There were no dramatic proclamations. They were just two men now, human and turian, hammering away at each other, hoping to bludgeon the other into submission. The moment one of them went down, that would be the end of it. This was their final reckoning, and both of them knew it. But, as he lashed his elbow against the side of Saren's skull, Shepard began to realise that Saren would be the victor in any drawn out conflict. Sovereign's enhancements made him too powerful. Shepard simply could not meet him blow for blow.

But to give in would be to allow the Reapers to extinguish life across the entire galaxy. Shepard would never - could never - surrender.

Shepard rushed forward, pressing Saren up against a pillar, and lets his fists hammer into Saren's torso again and again. Saren's talons came up, seeking for Shepard's eyes and, with an inarticulate cry, Shepard slammed his forehead against Saren's own. It kept Saren from taking his eyes but the side effects of bashing his head against turian plating left him wide open for Saren's counter-attack.

Saren's next blow took him on the chin and the second glanced off Shepard's throat. It almost crushed his larynx and almost closed his trachea. Shepard gasped for breath as Saren grabbed him by the back of the scalp, his talons drawing blood, and brought his knee to meet Shepard's face.

Shepard hit the ground, hard. He heard his squad gasp and cry out but they sounded so distant, as if they were so far away. The blow had set a fierce ringing off in his ears and the world swam in and out of focus, spots bursting behind Shepard's eyes. Blood bubbled in his nose with each breath he took.

Every enemy had a weakness, Admiral Kahoku had taught Shepard this. Kahoku had taught Shepard to be strong in the mind as well as the body. If Shepard couldn't outfight Saren, if Saren was physically superior to him then maybe, just maybe, he had chosen the wrong battle. Saren - or Sovereign - had been pleased to engage Shepard in a physical duel and why would you ever engage an enemy on the terms of their choosing?

Shepard remembered Virmire. He remembered Saren's hesitation, the edge to his voice that belied his confidence in Sovereign's promises. And then, suddenly, everything was clear.

Shepard coughed and tasted copper against his teeth, "Sovereign hasn't won yet, Saren!" He struggled to rise, his breath coming in wheezing gasps, "I can stop it from taking control of the station! Step aside, stop this madness, and the invasion will never happen!"

Saren shook his head, eyes burning with electric-blue intensity. Then, he raised his fist, intent on crushing Shepard's skull to dust against the floor of the Council chambers. And then he said, "We can't stop it! Not forever! You saw the visions! You saw what happened to the Protheans! The Reapers are too powerful!"

His fist did not fall.

"But the Protheans resisted!" Shepard croaked, "The harvest was a long, slow process! The Protheans managed to reverse engineer the Conduit - you've seen this! Some of them managed to survive, hidden on Ilos! They modified the Keepers and thwarted Sovereign's first attempt two thousand years ago! Saren, if the Reapers were as powerful as they claim to be they wouldn't need to rely on trickery and deceit! They must have a weakness!"

"The Protheans resisted," Saren repeated, dumbly, "And they fell. They were extinguished, all of them! Why should we doom ourselves to their fate?"

Shepard yelled, "And if you open that Relay now, we all die anyway! We have nothing to lose!"

"You don't know that, Shepard! Your ideals will doom not just humanity, but the entire galaxy!"

"And neither do you!"

Shepard was breaking through to him. Saren's fist hung up by his head, wavering at its apex.

"This isn't how it has to end, Saren!" Shepard continued, "You were a Spectre! You know this is wrong! A slim hope is always better than none! You can't give up! Sovereign is relying on you to finish this but this all comes down to you and your decision! You swore an oath, just as I did, to defend the Citadel! You can't let Sovereign win - fight it!"

There was silence, Shepard found himself aware of every second that passed. And time was on Sovereign's side.

"...maybe you're right," Saren admitted slowly, "Maybe there is still a chance for-" And Saren screamed suddenly, his taloned hands grasping the sides of his head. His entire body shuddered violently, as if in the grip of a seizure.

Saren was having second thoughts, and Sovereign was not happy. Another surge of power, painful in its intensity, wracked Saren's form and he cried out, dropping to his knees. Blue blood was running from the edges of his implants, his nostrils, his eyes.

"The implants..." rasped Saren, as if he was fighting for control of his vocal cords, "I can't- Sovereign is too strong." Saren's pistol whined as he pulled it from its holster and slowly raised it, as if he was struggling with his own limbs. "I'm sorry, Shepard, but it is too late for me-"

Shepard felt his blood run cold. He hadn't come this far to be ignominiously shot on the floor, gasping for each breath. He could see his team, they were going for their weapons, but it was clear to him that Saren would put a bullet in him before they would be able to stop him."Saren, don't do this!"

"-Thank you."

Before Shepard could say or do anything, ask Saren what he meant by that, Saren raised his weapon, and shot himself in the head.


	53. Part IX: Apex, Chapter VI: Infusion

**Chapter VI - Infusion**

Saren's body wavered for a few moments, before it slumped forward, and pitched over itself to land in a heap amongst a decorative landscape. The glow of his cybernetic implants spluttered and then faded and died. Saren did not rise.

Shepard, however, wasn't prepared to take that risk. "Make sure he's dead," he ordered, voice hoarse, as he walked past where Saren had been standing just moments before and towards the Citadel's central command console.

"Scanning. No signs of life," Kaidan reported. "Saren's down - for good, thank God."

"Roger," replied Shepard, but that wasn't what he had meant. With that amount of Reaper technology in his body, Shepard wasn't about to take any chances with Saren. "Uploading the Prothean file, now."

Behind him, Shepard could hear some of his squad rush up behind him. He realised that he could recognise them by their footfalls - Tali and Garrus.

"Virgil's data file worked!" Tali said from beside Shepard, scrutinizing the holographic display. "We've got control of the Citadel!"

Shepard felt himself exhale, hadn't been aware he had been holding his breath. This was the best bit of news they could hope for. While they controlled the Citadel's systems, Sovereign could not activate the relay. And, without the relay active, the Reapers could not return.

Shepard knew, however, that while Sovereign remained, all this was doing was forestalling the inevitable. They would have to blast the Reaper off the top of the Citadel Tower. If they couldn't destroy Sovereign, all of it had been for nothing.

"Bring down the blast doors and scan all frequencies," Shepard ordered, "Let's see if we can get a glimpse of the battlefield."

Tali complied. Slowly, the thick armoured screens, designed to withstand capital ship level bombardment, receded down towards the base of the Council chambers. Outside, the Widow nebula was the scene of a furious furball. Geth warships had engaged the defensive Citadel fleet and, while Shepard was not a naval tactician, it seemed like they were winning. The Geth had broken through the Citadel's defensive lines and had left the defending fleets scattered and trying to regroup as they picked off each warship one by one with methodical precision.

Reports of the battle began to filter into the council chambers. Tali was already filtering them.

"Commander, there's something you should hear!"

A female voice, tinged with the faint accent of an Asari, came through the chaos. The voice dropped in and out of cohesion as static enveloped it. "_Destiny Ascension_... main drives offline... kinetic barriers down forty percent. The Council is on-board, I repeat, the Council is on-board!"

"The Council's alive?" Garrus gasped, "By the spirits..."

And then, a familiar voice. "_Normandy_ to the Citadel! _Normandy_ to the Citadel! Please tell me that's you, Commander!" Joker.

Shepard smiled, laughed in relief. "Did you think it'd be anyone else? What the hell are you doing here? I never told you to leave Ilos!"

"I know, sir, but there was a big burst of energy planetside and then we got a distress call about an overwhelming Geth attack on the Citadel. I figured you had to have something to do with it, trouble has this way of following you around. Listen, I'd love to play catch up, but we caught that distress call. Commander, I'm sitting just beyond one of the Widow relays with the entire Arcturus fleet, Admiral Hackett commanding. We can save the _Ascension_! Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in!"

There wasn't a moment's hesitation. "Tali, do it."

"Wait. You'd actually save the Council?" asked Wrex incredulously, "After everything they've done?" He snorted, "Since when have they done anything for the Humans? Or the Krogan, for that matter. This'd just be payback."

Garrus nodded in agreement, "Sovereign must be stopped," he said, "Everything else is secondary."

Kaidan, however, did not share the sentiment. "Sir, with all due respect, you can't let them die. They might be-"

"They don't have a shot at Sovereign yet," Garrus replied, his powerful voice cutting over Kaidan, "It's going to take time for the arms to open and the Geth are going to engage the reinforcements before they can commit to Sovereign. They will suffer losses. Is it worth the risk?"

"Probably not," Shepard surmised, "But the _Destiny Ascension's_ main gun is the most powerful mass driver ever constructed. If anything can bring down Sovereign, it will be that ship. Joker, I'm unlocking the Relays - bring the rain."

Joker let out a war whoop, "Certainly will, Commander. Good luck!"

"Arms opening, relays unlocked," announced Tali, "Alliance warships are emerging from transit now."

"They'll have the Geth forces outflanked," Shepard stated as numerous icons blinked into life on one of the status displays, "But they're going to redeploy their forces the moment they realise what's happening."

Either way, no matter how the Geth reacted to this sudden upset, Shepard's part in the battle was over. Saren was dead, and the Alliance fleet was moving to engage Sovereign. Shepard just wanted to cheer, close his eyes and rest - even just for a moment. But he knew that this was the most dangerous part of any mission, the conclusion, where a soldier could become complacent and let down their guard.

Shepard wasn't about to let that happen. He called to Garrus and Wrex and then pointed to where Saren lay. "He may not be breathing, but he's filled with Reaper tech. Make sure he's dead."

"With pleasure," Wrex rumbled. The two of them headed off in the direction of Saren's corpse.

Admiral Hackett's voice came over the communications band: "Alliance ships move in, cover the _Destiny Ascension_! All forces, engage Geth warships at will!"

Shepard could glimpse the_ Destiny Ascension_ through one of the panoramic windows. It reminded him of a Terran whale shark, one that was being harried by a swarm of cybernetic wasps. There were streaks of light through the nebula and, in the path of each one, a Geth warship exploded. The Geth warships ceased their attack on the _Destiny Ascension_ and returned fire as they turned to engage this new, unexpected threat. Their first retaliatory volley streaked through the nebula like a series of blue comets. Shepard found himself wondering just how many Alliance servicemen and women would lose their lives in that display of firepower, and if the Council - for all the help they had been - was truly worth it.

He wondered if one of the explosions out there was the _Normandy_.

"_Destiny Ascension_," Hackett was hailing the Asari flagship, "This is the Fifth Fleet flagship _Orizaba_. Geth forces neutralised, you are all clear. Get clear of the Citadel - we will need you to take a shot at _Sovereign_. All ships, the Citadel is opening! Advance and prepare to engage the Geth flagship!"

Hackett's order was punctuated by a single gunshot, and Garrus' voice came back. "Saren's taken care of."

Shepard smiled as relief flooded his body, cooling him and melting off the adrenaline that had clung to him for what felt like days. Saren was defeated, well and truly. He slumped down onto the steps, suddenly tired. This was it. His team - his friends - had done what many had considered impossible.

Shepard turned to congratulate them all when, impossibly, Saren began to scream.

Shepard gaped for a moment in stunned disbelief. He climbed to his feet, "Garrus! I thought you-!"

"We did, Shepard! Something's happening!"

Shepard raced over towards the sound of anguished screaming and set his eyes on what was going on.

He almost wished he hadn't.

Saren's body was spasming, as if gripped by a horrific seizure. He may have been dead but his vocal cords were still, impossibly, producing sound - a painful screech that cut through Shepard's eyes like a knife. Saren's flesh had broken in places, almost like it was burning from the inside out, revealing golden fire and cybernetic hardware. And then Saren's flesh was beginning to run like water, leaving nothing except for the bone plates, his skeleton, and the cybernetic implants Sovereign had enhanced him with.

Saren was screaming - and Sovereign was screaming with him.

That was when the creature began to rise. Saren was gone now but someone, or _something_, with dead star eyes of infinite, burning malice, had taken his body for itself.

**"I am Sovereign,"** intoned the husk that was once Saren and that was now Sovereign's avatar, **"And this station is_ mine!_"**


	54. Part X: Endgame

**Part X - Endgame**

_"And in today already walks tomorrow."_- Samuel T. Coleridge

Saren's husk came at Shepard's team, screaming, forcing them to scatter in the wake of the Reaper thrall's mad charge.  
Shepard already knew its objective, a fact that was further reinforced as the thrall began leaping from stair to stair, towards the Council podium.

"Keep it away from the control systems!" barked Shepard, "Do not let it close the arms! Bring it down!"

A chorus of affirmatives came back as Shepard's team surged forward with him. The thrall - No, Sovereign itself, Shepard realised - snarled at them and turned its malevolent red gaze towards them. The remnants of Saren's jaw and mandibles were hanging, slack, giving the creature the appearance of a puppeteered, skeletal corpse.

Not even Saren deserved this fate.

Wrex slammed into Sovereign's puppet and took it with him for a few steps, attempting to crush it in his grip. And then Wrex roared in agony, a sound that Shepard had never heard before, and it suddenly occurred to him that the Krogan's battlesuit was coming apart like tissue paper under the beast's skeletal claws.

"Wrex, get clear!" Garrus barked, scoping in a shot from somewhere behind Shepard. "I'm firing!"

Wrex ducked to one side and Garrus fired. There was a resounding 'crack' and his shot streaked through the air, only to bounce off the Reaper's kinetic barriers. As gaunt as the creature was, its size belied its incredible strength, agility and endurance. The power Sovereign must have been feeding into its puppet had to be phenomenal, Shepard realised.

The screaming intensified. The corpse-thrall's entire form began glowing, painting the Council chambers in bright scarlet light, so bright that Shepard had to avert his eyes. As he did, fire erupted from the puppet's baleful maw - heading right in Garrus' direction.

The air rippled around the blast and the scarlet fireballs jerked to the left, detonating harmlessly against a pillar. Liara was suddenly there, chest heaving, her face a grim mask of concentration.

"Kaidan! Support her!" Shepard ordered, "We can't let it hit us!"

Shepard charged again, even as Wrex tried to push himself to his feet. The Krogan groaned and collapsed back, lying in a pool of his own blood. Shepard swung his fist, unsure of what else to do except to distract it from reaching that control panel, or from finishing Wrex. The Saren-husk hissed and swung its wicked claws in Shepard's direction, missing by inches.

Those claws had made a mockery of Wrex's armor - Shepard knew it would skin him in seconds.

Shepard ducked back, on a path that took him away from the panel but not down the stairs, so that he was circling the Council podium. The husk followed. "That's right," Shepard growled, "Come on, Sovereign, come and get me."

Sovereign seemed all too happy to indulge Shepard and he knew that there was only so long he could distract it for, only so long before he would have nowhere to run to.

But, with that time, they could prevent Sovereign from being able to succeed.

"Tali! Destroy that system!"

"On it, Shepard!"

"Kaidan! I need Wrex on his feet!"

"Got it!"

Suddenly there was a bright red flash and a great beam of light scorched past the Citadel Tower's windows, leaving after-image scars in Shepard's vision. He blinked to clear them, again and again, and, as he did so, there was another flash, an incredible explosion, and a chill ran down Shepard's spine as the realisation hit him.

Sovereign had opened fire.

"Sovereign's too powerful!" crackled the voice of one of the Alliance officers, "The weapons on that thing- We need to withdraw, it is cutting through our barriers like they're not even there! We can't even hurt it!"

"Negative!" Hackett barked, "Sovereign must be destroyed! Focus all firepower on its forward tendrils! Take that monster down, no matter the cost!"

_Take this monster down, no matter the cost._

Garrus fired again, striking the thrall on the head. The creature rocked under the impact but did not fall. Its kinetic barriers were still too strong, able to deflect any sort of long-ranged attack. If Garrus was unable to penetrate it at a distance, and if it could slash them to ribbons up close, how could they hope to defeat it?

The hope that Shepard had felt only minutes ago was suddenly evaporating. Sovereign would dismember them all as surely as it was dismembering the gathered warships outside.

Shepard ducked beneath a swipe of the thrall's claws, one that was aimed at opening his throat to the air, when his savior arrived.

"Saren, I said I wanted your head - _and I will have it_!"

Wrex. The hulking Krogan was advancing ponderously, his shotgun out and ready. The Saren-husk turned from Shepard, growling, to face its new adversary. Wrex's shotgun boomed in a slow, deliberate cadence as he advanced: once, twice, three times.

And then the screaming husk was upon him.

Shepard screamed, "Wrex!"

Wrex spat up thick, crimson blood as the husk sank its claws deep into his abdomen. "Shepard," Wrex grunted, "Shepard! I could really use a grenade - a grenade, Shepard!"

Shepard already had it in his hand. He broke into a run and reached the husk as its horrific claws were dancing in front of Wrex's eyes. Clasping the explosive in his fist, Shepard roared as he punched the grenade into the husk's hollow abdomen, sticking it in amidst cables and circuitry. Wrex's shotgun barked for a fourth time, the sheer kinetic force of the point-blank blast managing to throw the husk back.

"See you in hell," growled Shepard, ducking his head down into his chest and diving forwards, past the husk.

The grenade he had lodged in the husk's body exploded with enough force to wrench the metal armor and skeletal remains to pieces. The husk raised its claws to its chest, shrieking madly, as Garrus shot it from behind. The bullet struk the monstrosity in the back of the neck, taking its head with it as it exited through the throat, and silenced the creature for good.

Shepard landed awkwardly and, moments later, the remains of Saren's husk came down on top of him. Something snapped in one of his legs, and Shepard screamed.

"Confirmed, Sovereign has ceased firing! It's floating dead in space!"

"We have confirmed detonation on the flagship's hull! Kinetic barriers are down, repeat, kinetic barriers are down!"

Hackett. "This is it! All batteries, fire at will! All ships, give it everything you've got!"

Joker. "Form on my flank, we're going in!"

Choking back another shout, Shepard managed to find the strength to roll over onto his back. Above him, he could feel the entire tower shake.

"Detonation! We've got massive uncontrolled detonations all throughout the flagship! The _Normandy_ must have hit Sovereign's drive core!"

"Shepard! John!" It was Tali, suddenly kneeling beside him. She took his face in her suited hands. Their rough texture felt soft and welcoming. "You're hurt!"

"I repeat, massive uncontrolled detonations! Sovereign is breaking apart!"

"Just one of my legs," Shepard forced a smile, rested his head back on the floor, looked out towards the purple clouds of the Widow nebula. He could see that the battle was winding down. In the wake of the destruction of their god, the Geth had evidently decided that fleeing was their best option. The remainders of the Alliance and Citadel fleets, however, were chasing them down all the way to the Mass Relays, and perhaps even beyond that.

Still, something amongst the outside melee caught Shepard's eye.

It was a large piece of Sovereign that he noticed, and it was growing larger. Even floating leisurely as it seemed, Shepard was under no illusions as to what it would do to the Citadel Tower. "You have to go," Shepard hissed, "You have to go now!"

Kaidan looked over. He was bleeding from a gash to his forehead. "But, Commander-"

"Don't worry about me!" Shepard yelled, still trapped by the slowly disintegrating corpse of Sovereign's avatar, "Go, goddamnit, go! Get the hell out of here! That's an order!"

That seemed to get through to his squad. Shepard heard them go, heard Wrex have to throw Tali over his shoulder. He realised that he'd saved them. Now, he just had to save himself. Shepard pushed, and found himself unable to shift the husk's corpse.

Pinned as he was, Shepard realised that this was Sovereign's final revenge. Even in the throes of destruction, it seemed as if the Reaper would bring about the death of the human who had caused it so much trouble. With a burst of adrenaline and frantic energy borne from the threat of imminent death, Shepard wrenched the Saren-husk off his body, pushed himself to his good knee, threw it down as he stood. Even then, he knew he would be too late.

Shepard turned on his heel, and tried to run.


	55. Epilogue - Citadel 2183

**Epilogue  
**

_"One thing is necessary: to journey to wells." – Johannes Edfelt_

**2183 - The Citadel**

There was a celebration, of course.

The Presidium had been hit hard by Sovereign's attack, and they were barely a few days into the restoration works, but there was a celebration.

It was like everyone had turned out for it, too. The media, politicians, Anderson, Udina, VIPs from every part of the Traverse. Shepard shifted in his dress uniform, somewhat uncomfortable in the crowd of humans and aliens without any kinetic barriers. He had spent so long in his hardsuit that it had almost become a second skin. The military life had prepared him for somber, sober celebrations. This was almost a party, with music, dancing, and enough merriment to sink a battlecruiser.

And Shepard knew that they had all earned it.

Now, he was just waiting for his cue.

The three Councilors, still looking stressed and bedraggled from their flight from the Citadel, had taken to a hastily-constructed podium. The Presidium lake, with its Krogan and Relay monuments standing tall, stretched out behind them. "We have gathered here today," the Asari councilor was saying, "To recognise the enormous contributions of the Alliance forces in the battle against Saren and the Geth.

"Many humans lost their lives in the battle to save the Citadel, brave and courageous soldiers who willingly gave their lives so that we - the Council - might live.

"There is no greater sacrifice, and we share your grief over the tragic loss of so many noble men and women.

"We all owe a great personal debt to Commander Shepard and the crew of the SSV _Normandy._ One we can never truly repay. They saved our lives, and the lives of everyone on the Citadel, from Saren and the Geth."

Suddenly, all the cameras - and all the people - turned to Shepard. This was his cue. Shepard, flanked by Ambassador Udina, made his way up the steps and took the stage. He saluted the three Councilors and let them continue. Shepard didn't like being on stage, but he smiled for the press. He was a symbol, after all.

For once, the Turian Councilor barely seemed to glower at Shepard as he spoke, "Commander John Shepard, your heroic and selfless actions serve as a symbol of everything humanity and the Alliance stands for.

"And although we cannot bring back those valiant soldiers who gave their lives to save ours, we can honour their memories through our actions.

"But, we are not just here to honour one man and his crew today. Humanity has shown it is ready to stand as a defender and protector of the galaxy. You have proved that you are worthy to join our ranks and serve beside us on the Citadel Council."

Udina nodded graciously, always the diplomat. "Councilor, on behalf of humanity and the Alliance, we thank you for this prestigious honour and humbly accept."

Another round of pictures, of shaking hands, and Shepard could finally step down from the podium.

"Given all that has happened," Udina was saying as he stepped down from the podium, flanked by Shepard and quickly joined by Anderson once they were on the floor, "I am sure that your recommendation for the Alliance's council position will carry a great deal of weight."

Shepard nodded and made an immediate decision. "Captain Anderson."

"What?!" spluttered Udina, "Anderson? You must be joking! He prefers to let his fists do the talking!"

Anderson smirked. "Only with you, Ambassador. Only with you."

"But he's a soldier!" continued Udina, his face turning red, his brow furrowing, "Not a politician!"

"Exactly," nodded Shepard. "He knows how things are. Maybe that's the problem we had with this whole crisis. Our leaders were too disconnected, delegating too much responsibility to individuals like Saren. We need to be united, we need our leaders to be looking towards the future. Our Councilor will need to know how things are, how much we have struggled, and just how much is at stake if the Reapers return. Something which is vital, especially now. And Anderson knows this, he fights for what he believes in."

The Citadel Councilors took that moment to arrive, moving as an elegant triad. "An inspired choice," said the Asari, "The Council would welcome him with open arms, should he accept."

"I would be honoured, Councillor," Anderson said smoothly, and Shepard knew he had made the right choice. "As humanity's representative I would do anything and everything in my power to help the Council rebuild."

The Turian nodded. "Sovereign's defeat marks the beginning of a new era for both Humanity and the Council."

Shepard shook his head, "Sovereign was the vanguard. The Reapers are still out there, and I'm sure that all we've done is get their attention. We've shown them we can hurt them, that we can kill them. So, the real question is, how long until they come knocking on our front door?"

The ominous statement hung in the air for a few moments, and no one wanted to face it. "But not tonight," Anderson said at last, "We're all entitled to some rest."

"Of course," Shepard said, and excused himself. He couldn't agree more and there were others he wanted to spend this time with, people who weren't Udina.

Around him, he caught glimpses of them all - his squad, his crew, his friends. Weeks ago, months ago, a scene like this would have left him feeling disconnected and hopelessly alone but now, today, he finally felt content.

Kaidan was laughing with Joker and some of the other Normandy crew members. They waved as Shepard passed. Any of them - Pressly and Adams included - could get a posting on any Alliance ship they so desired. They were all war heroes.

They raised their glasses high as Shepard continued on, "To Williams."

To the left, Wrex and Garrus had discovered the buffet. Garrus nudged the Krogan, who had barely been bed-ridden in the wake of his horrific injuries, and Shepard reflected that they might actually be friends now. "So," Garrus was saying, "Saren was mine. Took his head right off."

"Keep dreaming, Vakarian. I dropped his barriers. We'll split him fifty-fifty."

"Sixty-forty."

Where would they go, Shepard wondered. He couldn't see them returning to their relatively mundane lives. Where would a C-Sec officer or an aging mercenary go after they had saved the galaxy?

Camera flashed from Shepard's right. The media had plucked Liara from the crowd and was subjecting her to a barrage of questions and queries. Weeks ago, Liara might have clammed up or spluttered or stammered when faced with such direct questioning - but now she was handling them with a deft eloquence.

That left only one.

By now, Shepard would have recognised her anywhere. Even if she wasn't the only Quarian in the crowd, even if he was stuck in the middle of the Flotilla, he would find her. Tali's visor turned his direction and it occurred to Shepard that she was wearing the deep purple quarian veil. The intricate patterns caught the light and highlighted the delicate craftsmanship and Shepard wondered if she knew how radiant she looked.

There was nothing that could have wiped the smile from his face, not even the Reapers, as he indicated the dance floor with his eyes. "You once told me that dancers were highly respected amongst your people. And yet I don't see you out there."

Tali inclined her head towards him. "Maybe I've been waiting for someone."

"Really? Who is he? I'm extremely jealous."

Even through the visor, Shepard could tell Tali was giving him a particularly challenging look.

"Tali," he warned, catching on to her intention, "I have two left feet."

"Then we'll take it slow."

"And an injured leg."

"I'll even lead." Tali extended her hand out to him. "May I have this dance, Commander John Shepard, savior of the Citadel?"

There had been nothing more enticing in his entire life, injured leg or not.

Shepard grasped her hand in his and entwined his fingers with her own. "Of course, Tali'Zorah, this one - and however many more you like."

Shepard wasn't sure, but he thought he might have caught a glimpse that Tali was smiling behind her mask as he led her out to the dance floor.

And they had all the time in the world.


	56. HARBINGER

**THE END**

If you have made it this far, then I have nothing else to say except **thank you** for reading and for all your continued support! I cherished every review and every message I received. Please, leave more so I may further improve, and if you have any comments I will do my best to reply to them! I hope I was able to present a unique and interesting take on the Mass Effect universe and all the beloved characters that we're familiar with. Spectre was quite the labor of love abut there were some days where I just wanted to drop the whole project. That was when the messages and reviews really helped!

So, if it was such stress at times, the question becomes:

Will I go on further?

Well, we all know that Shepard's story (and Tali's story, and Garrus' story...) doesn't end there...

Therefore, I will soon be uploading...

**HARBINGER**

_Sovereign has been destroyed, but the Reapers are still out there. With their dark allies putting their pieces into place for the apocalyptic return of their ancient masters, Commander John Shepard is forced to align himself with the darkest of allies to stop them. Alone, with no one to turn to, can Shepard survive the onslaught of Harbinger - and the machinations of the ruthless Illusive Man?_


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